Seeking Higher Ground

Another Twister?

Ever have one of those weeks?

• Flare up of poison ivy? Check.
• Earthquake? Check.
• Tornado? Check.

Earthquake and tornado on the same day? Check-check. Yeah, this is one of those weeks when you keep looking over your shoulder (and not just because Richard Gere is in town). You probably heard about the 5.5 earthquake epicentered near Ottawa, Ontario. Michigan has experienced similar mild earthquakes in the past but I always seem to miss them. If Hayden was at home, I presume he would have felt it.

This time I did feel it. I was at the university Union for lunch and was packing up my things to return to my office. As I stood up I felt a queasiness in my stomach for a few seconds. That was it. Exciting, huh? Natch, I didn’t associate that sensation with an earthquake until I heard the reports later in the day.

After work I grabbed a delicious steak dinner (a percentage of the tab was donated to a charity), then stopped off at the store to stock up on poison ivy remedies. Sirens blared outside as I returned to my car. My county was under a tornado warning (i.e., actual funnel cloud(s) sighted or conditions very favorable). Luckily, I had 30 minutes to travel the 10 miles (16 km) home. The previous Friday I wasn’t as fortunate, getting caught in a severe thunderstorm that killed a mother of six — her vehicle hit a tree which had fallen across the road. The sky had been pitch black, debris flying everywhere, yet traffic was heavy so I couldn’t hurry home. The previous week there had been a tornado in nearby Dundee with a lot of structural damage, so I was plenty nervous to be out in the thick of it.

I managed to get home in plenty of time to gather up the usual supplies to take down to the basement: radio, flashlight, cell phone, backpack (with laptop & iPod), purse, book to read, cat’s food & water dishes, 200-year-old family bible, and Darth Kitty. The oil lamp (in case of a power outtage) was already down there from the previous storm. I have an old Michigan basement. Damp, dank and musty. Not a fan of the cobwebs, but we had to coexist for the next two hours. Darth Kitty was none too pleased with the conditions (probably mostly due to the fact that I left her litter box upstairs).

I did go outside and watch the sky until the lightning got close. I understand the lightning was really spectacular but I missed that show. The tornado warning was extended another hour in my area. Meanwhile, it was raining so hard that it sounded like a freaking waterfall was in my basement. I half expected the water to come gushing through the wall at any minute. Talk about unnerving.

When the all clear was given around 11:30 p.m., I discovered water damage in my front room. Water was seeping from the ceiling through a seam in the drywall. The wood floor and living room carpeting got a bit drenched. A cursory examination of the addition’s roof via an upstairs window revealed no loose shingles, but there may have been a gap in the flashing. I also understand that 72 mph (116 kph) wind gusts were reported a few miles away. Lots of rain, high-velocity, horizontal wind. Yep, that might do it. Later, I discovered that the water had leaked into my walk-in closet as well. Luckily, minimal damage.

The National Weather Service is investigating whether the reported funnel cloud touchdown in a field 4 miles (6.5 km) from my house was an actual tornado.

[24 June 2010]

Now that’s what I call a fashion icon!

Tongue Twister

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck
if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

Because I was thrown for a loop on Friday (i.e., the alleged Hayden/Blanche split), I did not get the chance to post my annual Father’s Day playlist. Would have posted it Sunday evening but I was totally vegging out by then. Physically spent from doing massive yard work on Saturday (6.5 hours!). My brother came home for the weekend, so he and I helped our Daddy-O by cutting down dead tree limbs and feeding them into the wood-chipping machine — with yours truly doing most of the feeding. If my biceps did not grow by half an inch I will be amazed.

I tried to imagine Blanche doing anything remotely like that and came to the conclusion that anything above the level of fingernail-breaking work is probably verboten for her.

Regarding the playlist, I went a little overboard with the love songs but the Valentine’s Day soundtrack is a great album. Technically, Diane Birch’s tune is also on the VD soundtrack, but I have it on her Bible Belt album, too. Dad is into country music and dislikes repetitive tuneage, which rules out a lot of rock ’n’ roll. Songs that tell a story tend to be a safe bet. Anyway, here is this year’s list:

Name	Artist	Album	Genre
Mean Old Wind	Kris Delmhorst	Five Stories	Singer/Songwriter
Te Quiero Dijiste	Nat “King” Cole	Valentine’s Day (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack)	Soundtrack
Valentino	Diane Birch	Bible Belt	Pop
On the Street Where You Live	Willie Nelson	Valentine’s Day	Soundtrack
Goldfinger	Shirley Bassey	The Best of Bond…James Bond	Soundtrack
Say Hey (I Love You)	Michael Franti & Spearhead	Valentine’s Day	Soundtrack
A Little More Country Than That	Easton Corbin	A Little More Country Than That – Single	Country
Amor	Ben E. King	Valentine’s Day	Soundtrack
Cry Me a River	Susan Boyle	I Dreamed a Dream	Pop
Chicken Half	Sugarman Three	Songs From the House of Soul Sampler	R&B/Soul
More	Bobby Darin	The Legendary Bobby Darin	Easy Listening
Independence Day	Martina McBride	Greatest Hits	Country
4 and 20	Joss Stone	Valentine’s Day	Soundtrack
Georgia On My Mind	Ray Charles	Genius – The Ultimate Ray Charles Collection	R&B/Soul
White Flag	Dido	Life for Rent	Rock
Runaway	Del Shannon	Rock & Roll Party	Rock
Oh My Sweet Carolina	Red Molly	Never Been to Vegas	Singer/Songwriter
Don’t Set Me Free	Ray Charles	Genius – The Ultimate Ray Charles Collection	R&B/Soul
Everybody’s Talkin’	Harry Nilsson	Forrest Gump (Disc 2)	Soundtrack
Hullarious	Sierra Hull	Secrets	Country
I Am Not a Farmer	Bill Frisell	Disfarmer	Jazz
Need You Now	Lady Antebellum	Need You Now	Country
The Magnificent Seven (Theme)	Elmer Bernstein	Great Composers: Elmer Bernstein	Soundtrack

 

A stray comment steered me toward a video of an appearance Blanche made on The Bonnie Hunt Show to publicize New York, I Love You last October. So, this is probably old news to a lot of you but I was intrigued by the mention of Hayden (ironically, starting at 4:19 in the video). Bonnie refers to him as Blanche’s “boyfriend” (at that point was it still forbidden to mention their engagement?) and her snippy reply was “Yeah, on better days.” Oy! I would have thrown her little polka-dotted ass out of my house right then and there. Surely, that must have left Hayden a tad steamed. And here I thought she was a nice person. You can’t judge a book by its cover, can you?

Hayden is an intelligent guy and will take a long, hard look at whether this is a salvageable relationship. We women (especially those of the twentyish variety) tend to think we can and should control our guy. That we can mold and shape them into our ideal. At the root of that notion is our own insecurity. Blanche is insecure and, unless she grows up fast, will find herself fiancé-less.

[21 June 2010]

Ixnay on the eddingway ansplay!

Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

Breaking It Off…
Heartbreak Hotel…
Taking A Break

It’s true. I have been contemplating a break from this blog. It’s not that I don’t love writing about Hayden but, gee-whiz, I’ve been spreading myself thin and Hayden keeps getting shortchanged in the deal. Poor guy, he doesn’t deserve it. Or does he?

It seems that “breaking away” has become the fashionable thing to do. That is, of course, if you believe the Gospel According to Us Magazine.

So, is it true? Hayden and Blanche are taking a break from one another? Their state of engagement is in flux? I can resume my fantasies of being stalked by Hayden? Hot diggity!

(Feigning sadness) Oh, that’s just terrible. Incredibly sad to hear. All that time invested in building a relationship. How are the poor dears coping? How soon can I book a flight to Haydenland? Maybe it was prescient of me to obtain that passport after all!

At least now we know why they haven’t been seen together as of late.

So, the obvious question is: who wanted the break from whom? In my experience it is rarely a mutual decision. My first inclination is to point the finger at Hayden. Almost immediately I sensed in Blanche a desperation to be married, yet I’ve not observed the same desperation on his part. If she truly were the love of his life he wouldn’t be allowing her even an infinitesimal chance to slip away. He merely seemed like someone who was pleased to be in her presence, not desperate to be her husband. Alright, I will concede that during the filming of Jumper he reeked of desperation (it showed, did it not?). But that was deep infatuation, my friends. A blossoming romance is a completely different animal from the stage in which they now find themselves.

However, Blanche does not get off scot-free in my book. Number one, she shacked up with him. Now, given the demise of her own parents’ marriage, one can’t blame her for regarding a trial marriage as a smart idea. Unfortunately, shacking up is not a solid predictor of marital bliss because the implied contract just isn’t there. I’m guessing that a wedding date was never set before she accepted his invite to “play house.” That was mistake #2. If a guy can get unlimited nooky without committing himself — in the eyes of God and the province of Ontario or state of California — he will take that deal every time. Look, I’m not saying Hayden is a cad. On the contrary. Hayden is a guy. Guys are wired differently, ’kay?

She also uses the media to play games with their relationship. I sensed their couple communication skills were in trouble when she sometimes left the engagement ring at home. Or flirted with people on airplanes. Or wore a fake engagement ring before he even popped the question. Or hinted at wanting babies (but not just now, wink, wink). She knew it would get back to him because the paparazzi and gossips are ever-present. It was her way of sending him a message without the actual tête à tête. Never a good sign. Hayden distrusts the media as it is. He would view enlisting their cooperation as an unholy and unwelcome alliance. She also seems immature desperate for attention while he isn’t, which puts them at opposite ends of the celebrity spectrum.

Did she embrace the idyllic solitude of Hayden’s farm in Ontario? I happen to love peace and quiet, communing with nature, the whole rural life thing, but she seems to crave attention and… shopping. Let’s face it… she was a Ginger trapped in a Mary Ann world. Not everyone is cut out for that. Could she handle being left alone while Hayden was off filming in, say, Tanzania? or Detroit for that matter? Or would she have to fly back to L.A., i.e., civilization, in order to feel at ease?

And then there’s the burglary of her abode in Los Feliz. Was Hayden sympathetic enough? Did she resent the fact that it happened because she was known to be out of the country with him? Away from her true home? Yes, you may recall how I previously mentioned that she is a born and bred Angelino. Bilsons have called L.A. home for decades while NYC is their second home (although she and Hayden have that much in common… does New York, I Love You ring a bell?). Yeah, Hayden’s grandma lives there and Blanche’s kin landed there when they jumped the pond from England.

Can’t rule out the religion question either. Blanche’s family is Jewish. Hayden is, um… clearly not Jewish.

And let’s not forget that Hayden is a proud hockey-lovin’ Canadian. Did the Vancouver Olympics and Canada’s gold medals fail to impress Miss Blanche? Did she make some snotty remark about how the Yanks were probably just having a bad day? Or, that basketball was way cooler than ice hockey? Well, that would be unforgivable. I can almost sense the Vader boiling up inside him. That alone might be enough to send him over the edge.

Certainly, it goes without saying that I’m probably jumping the gun here. Maybe they do need a teensy break and then they’ll work it all out. Still, there’s nothing wrong in learning that it wasn’t meant to be. Hayden dearest, there are other fish out there in that big ol’ sea. me! me! me! Who am I kidding? It’s not like he’s been sending me any vibes lately. I miss those days when we were on the same wavelength.

[18 June 2010]

Photo credit: Associated Press

Blown Call (OT)

Do you see me crying?

News about Hayden (is there any?) will just have to simmer on the backburner because the sports world is all abuzz about The Perfect Game That Wasn’t. Last night, Detroit Tigers pitcher Armando Galarraga had faced 26 batters and sent them all crying for their mommies. Then, up to the plate strode Cleveland Indians shortstop Jason Donald. Strike 1. Ball 1. Jason is rather cute yet only has a .280 batting average, but I digress. A one-and-one count with two out in the ninth inning. After Austin Jackson’s crazy beautiful outfield grab to start off the inning, Galarraga’s perfect game seemed within reach. On the next pitch Donald grounds it toward the gap between first and second base. First baseman Miguel Cabrera leaves his pad to snag the ball, spins and throws to Galarraga who covers first. Safe?! First base umpire Jim Joyce called Donald safe. Replay clearly showed he was out.

Oy!

Ironically, a friend and former Michigander, who was visiting from Connecticut, mentioned that he would be attending Wednesday’s game with his family. Not having access to cable TV, I seldom get to see the Tigers play. So I turned to the family expert, Mom, and asked if she knew who would be pitching that day. Grant you, this was on Sunday. But she mentally went over the pitching rotation and correctly ascertained that it would be Galarraga (because Dontrelle Willis, who had that slot, had just been released from the team). Go, Mom!

Galarraga’s reaction to the blown call was much milder than mine would have been. Umpire Joyce was equally gracious in admitting (after the game) that he had made the biggest professional mistake of his life.

Do I think the call should be reversed? No. This is a game of runs, hits, and errors. Not all the errors show up in the statistics, but everyone will put a mental asterisk next to this one. Galarraga will be a trivia answer for time immemorial. Sure, he earned that Perfect Game, but life isn’t always fair. That’s one of life’s lessons and why we play the game. He’ll be remembered for his class and… I’m sure that Chevrolet Corvette (consolation gift from General Motors) will help take away some of the sting!

Yet, amidst all this hand wringing, what I really want to know is… how do they get those Tiger uniforms so blindingly white?

Congrats to Mr. Galarraga for his first-ever perfect game: 28 up, 28 down. Yep, he got the next totally irrelevant batter out, too.

[03 June 2010]

One day I will have my own band of merry men!

Me, An Atheist?!

Okay, it’s been an eon since I last wrote. Missed me? I hadn’t intended to write again until my “research project,” a.k.a. Hayden’s 29th birthday present, was completed. Unfortunately, it has taken on a life of it’s own and I grossly miscalculated the time investment. Plus, real life has a tendency of interfering with my best-laid plans. For instance, yesterday was a prime example.

After an 18-month hiatus I finally got another opportunity to work on a film as an extra. Yippee!! As you may recall from past musings, I worked on three projects in the fall of 2008, sharing scenes with none other than Cuba Gooding, Jr. and Adrien Brody. So far, only the Cuba Gooding, Jr. project has been released and all my bits got cut from that. Drat!

This new project is called Salvation Boulevard. I had never even heard of it until a week ago, when I received an e-mail from my casting agency to be part of a church group — which is right up my alley given my status as frequent church-goer — but I didn’t see the e-mail until the following day and assumed (perhaps erroneously) that it was too late to get booked. Apparently they used 200 extras that day.

A couple of days later I got a phone call and voice mail from my agency. Incredibly, I missed those, too, mistaking the muffled sound of my ringing phone for the sound effects in my computer’s new chat software. Didn’t check my phone until several hours later (unlike most people, a cell phone is not surgically attached to my ear). Feeling bad about missing two opportunities in a row, I zipped off an apologetic e-mail to the agency explaining what had happened. Almost immediately the agency called and asked if I could work Friday. Why, yes, I could!

The job was in my own backyard — at the Rackham Auditorium in Ann Arbor. It involved an allegedly terrific debate scene between Pierce Brosnan and Ed Harris. Whoa! As it turns out, the debate had been filmed in its entirety on Thursday. Some of those extras were held over to Friday and a few new ones, like me, were added. Therefore, Friday’s scenes were to depict the post-debate action where devotees of the two men are gathered around, attempting to converse and get their respective books autographed.

Pierce Brosnan’s character is a minister and Ed Harris plays an atheist professor. My instructions had been to dress as a non-conservative type. Guess whose devotee I was. LOL. Well, Apollo 13 is one of my fave films. Shoot, I should have told him that!

But that’s not all, folks. I hit the background actor’s jackpot yesterday. Not only were Messrs. Brosnan and Harris in my scenes (er, I was in their scenes??), but so were Jennifer Connelly, my birthday sister Marisa Tomei, Greg Kinnear, Jim Gaffigan, and Ciarán Hinds (Aberforth Dumbledore in the upcoming Harry Potter films). Let’s see, that’s two Oscar winners, a Golden Globe winner, a Daytime Emmy and SAG Award winner, a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame recipient, not to mention multiple Oscar and Golden Globe nominees. A virtual goldmine of talent. Wowsa!

But the highlight of my day was a scene with Ed Harris. The actual focus of the scene was Pierce Brosnan, who was in the foreground. A small group of extras, myself included, were gathered around Ed Harris in the background. Mr. Harris was very genial. Between takes he attempted to memorize our names and inquired as to our occupations. He high-fived one girl who had received a full-ride scholarship to one of the state colleges. At one point he read aloud the fake quotes on the jacket of the book which his character had supposedly written.

Towards the end of our scene he had to tear himself break away from his fawning band of admirers (literally). On a whim during the first take, I stuck out my hand and he shook it. So, natch, he shook it again on each subsequent take. When we finished filming he thanked all of us (it was his last scene of the day) and shook my hand once more as he was leaving. Swoon!

I was pleasantly surprised to find an actor of Ed Harris’ caliber to be so affable. Although, maybe he was just being deviously clever: getting us to eat out of his hand so we would be in character!

I also had two other scenes. One was with Marisa, Greg, and Jim. Marisa was directly behind me, so I had no clue what she was doing but there was a lot of grunting and groaning going on. Our last scene of the day was outdoors on the street in front of the building (as pedestrians), perhaps meant as that establishing exterior shot to segue into the debate scene.

Although I missed it, I heard that the crew had a cake and sang “Happy Birthday” to Pierce Brosnan (whose birthday is Sunday).

One of the PAs stationed in the first floor lobby had to turn away people who tried to enter the building via the main entrance. He told them the building was closed because they were filming a mayonnaise commercial. Ha! If they only knew…

P.S. Sadly, my March Madness bracket finished third overall, yet I was a contender to the very end. Yeah, if only Butler had beaten Duke, all would have been peachy.

[15 May 2010]