The currency we trust

What R The Chances?

A damn cricket kept me awake for at least two hours last night, chirping merrily in my bedroom while evading capture. I become vewy, vewy cwanky if my REM sleep cycles are disrupted. It’s a minor miracle that an item on this morning’s news even penetrated my clouded cranium. Evidently, if you picked 4-1-9 in the Michigan Lottery’s Daily 3 midday drawing on Sunday, you would have been a winner. And… if you also picked 4-1-9 for the evening drawing, you would have been a winner twice in the same day!

So, what are the chances of that happening? Experts say one-in-a-million.

They attempted to explain why that particular 3-digit combo might be popular, but their explanations were flimsy at best.

If the number 419 sounds familiar, it could be because it’s the number associated with the Nigerian e-mail fraud that promises riches if you’ll only send money and your bank account information. It’s also the area code for Toledo. [ed., Toledo, Ohio is in close proximity to SE Michigan]

Uh-huh. Clueless as usual. Of course, you and I both know why 4-1-9 is special. What could be more popular than Chrish’s birth date? April 19th. 4-1-9, people. Money in the bank, apparently.*

*Disclaimer: This observation should not be taken as financial advice for means of gambling, er, uh, investing in your future. Consult your own financial advisor before engaging in gambling speculative activities. [18 August 2009]

Anakin (circled) at Build Your Own Lightsaber display

Where Dreams Come True

For some reason my family got flagged for extra scrutiny at both airports, Detroit and Orlando, during our recent trip to Walt Disney World in celebration of my parents’ wedding anniversary. In Detroit, my carry-on luggage was searched and I was treated to one of those lovely full body scans (they even tickled my feet with a wand). My first time flying in ages and this is how I’m welcomed? My parents got attention both times due to their surgically-implanted hardware. Admittedly, we contributed to our own security problems. Mom hated to waste a barely used jar of peanut butter, but mistakenly packed it in her carry-on. Oops. Confiscated. My sister, the most experienced traveler in our ragtag group, packed a Mickey Mouse snowglobe in her carry-on. Um, liquid. Exceeds two ounces. Danger! Danger! Her laptop also got an explosives residue test.

After Dad cleared security, my brother was unsuccessful in convincing him that Sis had been arrested for trying to bring contraband onboard the aircraft. Actually, she was escorted to the airport’s Disney store so she could arrange to ship her “contraband” snowglobe home.

I had a great time, despite two calamities. My swell Swiss water bottle (a gift from the nice people at Google) was lost at the Hollywood Studios park. Despite having my contact information written on the bottom of said container, it was not turned in to the Lost & Found. Grrrr. My luggage was also damaged on the flight home. The airline gave me a voucher towards future travel, which I will probably never ever redeem given how seldom I fly.

Highlights: breakfast at Wilderness Lodge, Soarin’, Exhibition Everest (roller coaster at Animal Kingdom), Rock ’n’ Roller Coaster and Fantasmic! night show (both at Hollywood Studios), getting the androgynous Pat as our guide for the Jungle Cruise (Pat’s delivery of corny one-liners is impeccable), hot fudge sundae in a waffle bowl at Ghirardelli’s, seeing Hayden, the China pavilion at Epcot, and no sunburn!

Lowlights: The heat and humidity every single day. Well, it was August. Once you accepted the fact that you were meant to feel like a wet limp rag, it became somewhat tolerable.

Wait… did she say she saw Hayden at WDW?

Gee… and I thought I could slip that one by youse guys. Sharp as a tack, I swear.

By now you should know that Hayden sightings are commonplace during my vacations. For the most observant guests at WDW, glimpses of Hayden are not a big surprise. One of the sightings occurred at Downtown Disney, a shopping mall, at the immensely popular Build Your Own Lightsaber display. Anakin Skywalker’s picture (above) was quite prominent. Challenging to photograph, but nonetheless prominent.

Left to right: Rock 'n' Roller Coaster exterior, Darth Lightyear Mr. Potato Head, Jedi training at Hollywood Studios

I know what you’re thinking. It doesn’t count because that’s him playing a character. Okay, you got me there. But I really did see him. At Epcot. In the Canada pavilion’s Circle-Vision 360° O Canada! movie hosted by Canadian actor Martin Short, which features everything worth seeing in Canada. About halfway through, or maybe it was later, they began showing a bunch of native Canadian celebrities. I turned around and… voilà! There he was, smiling right at me! One moment he was there… and then he vanished. Sigh. If your most recent Epcot visit was pre-2007, you probably missed this updated version with Hayden. Too bad for you. Anyway, it gives you a reason to go (or return) sometime. Soon. Before they yank Hayden from the film. Just kidding. I’m sure they wouldn’t do such a cruel thing.

My Future, as envisioned by the folks at Disney (video I helped create on Spaceship Earth ride at Epcot’s Future World—since I rode solo in the car, a generic female companion accompanies me). Length 1:24.

There were other opportunities to see Anakin/Hayden. Although I did not see him at the Tatooine Traders gift shop (Hollywood Studios), two other gift shops in Downtown Disney displayed a cool Lego version of the Millennium Falcon and a nifty concoction that I like to call Darth Lightyear Mr. Potato Head. I also spied Obi-Wan Kenobi and Darth Vader training younglings on how to use the Force (and a lightsaber).

Mouse ears are très posh!

And finally… the pièce de résistance: a photo of moi wearing those ever-fashionable MM ears at a gift shop near Cinderella’s castle. Note my washed out, glowy complexion. Truly a result of the aforementioned heat and humidity… and liberal application of sunscreen. Sorry, but the pic of me sporting astronaut headgear is still trapped inside my sister’s camera. No doubt, something to savor in a future post.

Upon my return to Michigan I was distressed to learn that a Disney cast member died of an injury sustained during the Captain Jack Sparrow’s Pirate Tutorial stage performance last Thursday. We were in the Magic Kingdom on Wednesday and Friday. My sister took pictures of their act on Wednesday as she waited for me to acquire Captain Jack mouse ears and a pirate hook in the gift shop. It’s the second fatal accident involving a cast member in 2009. Tremendously sad news. [12 August 2009]

Kitty says, ‘Friend me, big boy!’

Fortunes & Facebook

Somehow I missed the fact that Hayden was in my neighborhood again. Actually, it was his alter ego Darth Vader. Apparently, a local school hosted some Jedi training this summer. I guess the Rebellion is still in need of top-notch recruits. Anyway, if I were still a wee nipper, I’d probably sign on for these “Galactic Adventures.” Sounds like fun. But wait… Darth Vader’s Beauty Academy? Hey, whatever floats His Highness’ boat is alright by me. One misinformed Youngling requested a pink lightsaber. Dude, no self-respecting Jedi Master would be caught wielding a pink lightsaber. Geez, the Force has its boundaries.

I’ve collected some awesome fortune cookie fortunes lately. Last week I had one that said, “An enjoyable vacation awaits you.” How did they know? These people must have spies. Yes, that’s a not-so-subtle hint that I’m taking a short respite from the beleaguered state of Michigan. I like to travel incognito, so I’ll only say that I’m going to a state known for its sunshine and, um, mouse ears. Got it? I’m sure you’ll figure it out. Only the smartest people read Not Enough Hayden.

And check out this fortune:

“You and your spouse will be happy in life together.”

Hot diggity! Best news I’ve had all year. Yesiree, this place is definitely teeming with spies. Now, all I have to do is sit back and wait for Hayden to reverse course regarding Blanche and I am… set for life. Coolness!

Summer is generally a very busy time for me (hence, my extended absence). Haven’t been able to muse much as a result and I’ve missed it. Nonetheless, I must confess… (ooh, that rhymes!) that I have been otherwise occupied with social media shtuff. Besides Twittering my life away, I tried this newfangled thing last week. Maybe you’ve heard of it. Facebork? No, no, no. That ain’t it. Um, Spacebook? No, I'm thinking of MyFace, er, MySpace.

Facebook! Yeah, that’s it. Anyhow, someone tagged me with this note thingy called “21 People” where you had to fill in the first 21 people who had written on your Facebook Wall or left a comment. Being a FB neophyte and all, I had yet to amass the requisite 21 peeps. So I conjured up four imaginary “Friends.” Hayden was #18. Ha! Paws, the lovable Detroit Tigers mascot, was #19, #20 was the dearly departed Michael Jackson, and Tom Izzo (Michigan State men’s basketball coach) grabbed the coveted #21 spot. But it turned out great because you then had to answer several questions regarding this supposedly random group of people. These were my questions and answers for Mr. “18”.

Q: What would you like to tell 18 right now?
A: Dump the fiancée. Join me on a deserted island! :-D

Q: Have you ever danced with 18?
A: Only in my dreams.

LOL. Isn’t that great?

I said… isn’t that GREAT?!

Okay, I guess you had to be there.

What? You say you want to “Friend” me on Facebook? Hmmm, got to think on that. I mean… my family reads it, okay? And my real world friends (versus the virtual kind) don’t generally understand my Hayden fetish. If a bunch of you Hayden-holics glommed onto my Wall and started tittering about Chrishy-poo, I’d become a laughingstock. I have a reputation or something to, um, protect. You see my dilemma?

Still, I did take the plunge and become a mighty minnow in the 12,000+ Facebook sea of Hayden’s “Fans”.* Plus, I’m splashing around in Joe Lando’s piddling little pond (725 fans). Not that they’ve warmed up to me yet, but I will wear them down eventually. They’re bound to be impressed by my connections. One of my real friends has met lots of famous people, like Beyoncé’s dad, Al Gore, Sisqó, and Boyz II Men. Another friend bangs drums in the Blue Man Group (except he’s not blue). While my coterie of friends may be small, remember, it’s all about quality peeps, not quantity.

And on that note, I must skedaddle.

*Psst, I really don’t want to hurt Hayden's feelings, but… hockey Hall of Famer Steve Yzerman has more fans than he does. [30 July 2009]