Dog Vader

Scary Stories

My canine friend Dog Vader recently asked me, “Do you know any scary stories?”

Hmmm, do I have any scary Halloween stories to share? Well, there was a bat in my house once. No, twice. Two bats, on different nights. It was rather terrifying. Especially for Darth Kitty, who went berserk as it swooped and flapped between the rooms, searching for an escape route. Natch, I did what any strong woman would do in that situation… I shrieked and locked myself in my bedroom and called my daddy!

Dog Vader (feigning concern): What about Darth Kitty?

Me: Uh, well, I kind of left her to fend for herself.

Dog Vader: Excellent!

Anyway, Dad came over with a… fishing net. No, Dog Vader, I’m not making this up! I thought it was a rather ingenious idea, actually. He caught the bat in the net and released it outdoors. Bats eat insects, ya know, so they are somewhat useful. I’ve since learned that I can get rid of them myself rather easily. Supposedly, if you open a window or door they’ll sense the air currents and head for it. Although… I’ve also heard that it is usually the young, stupid bats that end up inside a house—and can’t find their way out—in the first place!

My second story took place when I was a young pup of sixteen. I was baby sitting some neighbor kids around Halloween time. The parents went to a party and were expected home late—around midnight. After the kids went to bed the phone rang. Thinking it might be their parents checking in, I answered it. There was a long silence and then… loud, diabolical laughter. Like the kind you hear in a haunted house. Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha!!! Bone chilling stuff. It made the hair on my arms stand on end. Eek!

The evil Pumpkin Ghoul takes a prisoner!

Initially I thought the kids were playing a prank on me, except I realized there was only one phone line (this was before cell phones were in vogue). I hung up the phone and quietly crept upstairs, finding both kids in bed, seemingly asleep. So, of course, I began to freak out a wee bit. I thought about those horror movies where the babysitter gets terrorized by the ax-wielding, hockey-mask-wearing, serial killer who has alluded police for years. Yeah, I was spooking myself out, big time.

So I called my mommy and told her what had happened. She assured me that it was probably a crank call and offered to come over and stay with me until the parents returned. By then, I was feeling sheepish. Was I a scaredy cat? Heck, no! I was sixteen!! I could handle this adult responsibility on my own.

“N-n-n-no, I’ll be o-o-okay,” I lied.

I hung up the phone and double-checked the integrity of all the door locks. A huge crack of thunder just then did little to assuage my terror. I never told the kids’ parents about the phone call when they came home. I guess I was still a little shaky about the entire thing. It never occurred to me then that, since the mother was an elementary school teacher, it might have been one of her students pulling a Halloween prank.

Me: So… Dog Vader, what do you think of my scaaaaaary stories?

Meh… I mean, spooktacular.

Me: Uh, your praise is tinged with sarcasm, Your Lordship. Ever consider a trip to Blisstonia? Might cure that bad case of distemper.

But seriously, these stories… they really did happen to me. Bwa-ha-ha!!! Happy Halloween!  [30 Oct 2007]

TNR 2-DVD set: Shattered Glass and Doubting Thomas

Duped Again?

I’m increasingly beginning to believe that I’ve been duped

One has to wonder how many times a publication can be fooled before the lesson fully sinks in. In the case of The New Republic magazine, the answer appears to be “multiple times.” It has been with more than a smidgen of amusement that I have been following the latest TNR journalistic gaffe. It is a rare treat when my interest in all things Hayden and the real world collide. Sadly, it appears that TNR got snookered (again), this time by a freelance writer who went by the pen name of “Scott Thomas” a.k.a. the “Baghdad Diarist.”

Thomas, a member of the U.S. Army, wrote anecdotes about his military life in Iraq which cast his compatriots in a bad light. He claimed: (a) he had verbally humiliated a woman whose face was disfigured by an IED at a chow hall while other soldiers laughed, (b) soldiers had desecrated human (presumably Iraqi) remains, and (c) soldiers piloting Bradley Fighting Vehicles drove over dogs for sport. Much like Stephen Glass’ “Spring Breakdown” piece about youthful hijinks of conservatives at the CPAC conference, Thomas’ anecdotes supposedly illustrated the depravity and callowness of members of our military during a time of war.

He handed us fiction after fiction and we printed them all as fact.

Unfortunately, this story has a very familiar ring to it. Shortly after TNR published “Hack Heaven” “Shock Troops” in May 1998 July 2007, Forbes Digital Tool staffers military bloggers smelled a rat, causing them to call TNR’s bluff. Editor Chuck Lane Franklin Foer initially stood by the article, defending Mr. Glass’ Thomas’ veracity and the publication’s fact-checking prowess. Days later, “Thomas” outted himself as Pvt. Scott Thomas Beauchamp, a member of the 1/18 Infantry, Second Brigade Combat Team, First Infantry Division, and an investigation by the U.S. Army ensued. After interviewing several brigade members and others who might have knowledge of the chow hall incident, the investigative officer found Beauchamp’s claims to be “fabricated,” “false,” and “completely unfounded.” It also came to light that Beauchamp’s wife, Elspeth “Ellie” Reeve, was a staff researcher and fact-checker for TNR!

Once again, TNR trusted their own and paid the price. Unlike the Stephen Glass debacle, when TNR fell on its sword and admitted its complicity in publishing false and fabricated stories, the magazine has yet to retract the Beauchamp slanders or apologize for (falsely) accusing the Army of censoring Beauchamp. This week, The Drudge Report posted links (since removed but available here, here and here) to leaked documents of the Army’s investigation and also transcripts of a telephone conference between Beauchamp and TNR staffers. In that phone call Beauchamp refused to defend his stories to TNR or any media while admitting his actions might hurt his own wife. He also said that the Army had never censored him, but rather he had violated policy by not getting his writings cleared through the proper channels.

Some critics believe that because other military officials were present during the phone call, Beauchamp felt pressured to toe the line. If so, why didn’t he just recant the whole thing? My impression from reading the transcripts was that he was more worried about the damage he had done regarding the camaraderie within his unit; how he would be viewed by his fellow brigade members. He made numerous references to wanting to put it all behind him and the lesson he learned: he should stick to what he is good at (soldiering) and leave the writing to his journalist wife. In fact, a memorandum by his commanding officer (written before the September 7 phone call) described Beauchamp as an “asset” to the battalion and recommended he be given a second chance.

One could argue that TNR is in a bind. Beauchamp refuses to re-affirm or recant his stories, so what can they do? Well, one thing they can do is publish the fact that several soldiers were interviewed and none could corroborate the events that Beauchamp described. They could rightly claim that his veracity is in question since he refuses to defend himself. But all we hear from them is… crickets.

Ashley’s Restaurant & Pub (L) and the Bivouac in Ann Arbor, Michigan

Oh well, at least it gives me the excuse to post this trailer of Shattered Glass, starring you-know-who. Feel free to snicker at the voiceover mispronunciation of Hayden’s name. I always do. But, before I do that, here is the promised picture of Hayden’s Ann Arbor haunts, Ashley’s (blue and tan building) and Bivouac.  [25 Oct 2007]

Sign for Ashley’s Restaurant & Pub in Ann Arbor, Michigan

Celeb Sightings

God must have a wicked sense of humor: Dangling Hayden, not in front of my nose, but rather, behind my back. Only after a few days have passed do I find out he was in Ann Arbor. On State Street. One lousy, flippin’ block from my office. Not fair. Not even remotely fair. I don’t think I can stand this anymore. Perhaps I’ll become a nun! That way Hayden can no longer tempt me. I will be immune to his charms. Yes, the only way to leave behind this life of frustration is to cloister myself in a convent. I will worship the big JC, not HC. Shut myself off from the world. The vicious, uncaring, taunting world. It is taunting me, you know. It’s saying, “Hayden is here, he is ours, and you will never, ever have him!” Sigh.

I don’t know where they filmed in Ann Arbor, or how long they were in town. I haven’t found anything in the MSM mentioning his or the film crew’s presence here. Perhaps they returned to Gallup Park or Huron High School. Davey (his character) may have needed to teleport there, to familiar surroundings, to maintain the continuity of the story. Time will tell, of course. Providing the scene doesn’t end up getting cut from the final version. Somehow I doubt it will be, since it seems rather late in the process to do a pick-up shoot. Director Doug Liman must have thought it was essential to the sequence of events. Either that or Liman is aiding and abetting the Almighty, in cahoots with the Omnipotent One. Together, they are taunting me!

Of course, there may be another reason. In an attempt to avoid another unfortunate set-crashing incident by a crazed fan, perhaps they asked the media to keep mum about their work here. Hey, I learned my lesson! No set pass, no admittance. I get it. Do you think I want to risk the Dragon Lady showing my spunky bum to the curb again? Hmmmph!

Needless to say, I carefully study the faces of everyone I encounter around campus these days. Not that it matters. I’m thoroughly convinced that Hayden will never set foot in A-squared again. Unless, of course, he fell for that Biv employee who provided him with emergency skin care. Perhaps homeboy screenwriter David Goyer will arrange a charity preview of Jumper at Ann Arbor’s Michigan Theater and invite Hayden to attend. Right, when pigs fly!

I previously remarked that the gossip surrounding Hayden’s weekend appearance wasn’t particularly juicy. I imagine he prefers it that way. Although film actors aren’t prevalent in these parts (save for Jeff Daniels who lives in nearby Chelsea—no, I’ve never bumped into him either), Ann Arbor doesn’t get too ga-ga over celebrities. We see them regularly, especially around campus. A few weeks ago, Gladiator Russell Crowe was here to give the football team a pep talk (it seems to have worked… they are 5-0 since). In fact, poet Maya Angelou was here the same day as Hayden.

Well, even if Hayden didn’t have the privilege of meeting me, at least he got to enjoy the beautiful fall colors in Michigan.

I took a picture of Hayden’s Ann Arbor haunts, Ashley’s and Bivouac, today. Will try to post it as soon as I can. However, I am road-tripping to Columbus this weekend to watch my Spartans knock off the #1 college football team in the nation (hopefully), so it might not get uploaded until next week. Michigan may have the Gladiator’s “Strength and Honor,” but we Spartans have a ton of great quotes from 300. If we can’t beat Ohio State, at least we can have our “beautiful death.”  [19 Oct 2007]

Messenger: What makes this woman think she can speak among men?
Queen Gorgo: Because only Spartan women give birth to real men!

Hayden Cubed in A-Squared

Just Missed Him!

I swear I am destined never to meet Hayden. Would you believe he was traipsing around Ann Arbor last weekend and I missed him? I totally missed him!! I didn’t even know he was in the fricking town until today, when I picked up a copy of the student newspaper during lunch and read, “‘U’ scientists welcome stem cell ban repeal”… wait, no, page 5A, Arts section, under the subheading “High Society/Gossip”: “Celebrities in Southeast Michigan?” Yeah, evidently they couldn’t believe it either.

The scoop is that he patronized Ashley’s (a restaurant/pub) and Bivouac (an outdoor clothing store) on State Street. That’s a block from my office! Do you know what that means? While I was hermitizing (to borrow a Haydenism) in my office, cataloging photos of him for my two-year retrospective, the real flesh-and-blood man was walking, talking, and oozing gorgeousness within camera lens distance. I actually had my camera with me that day, in hopes of getting a picture of a car—one with a really cool custom paint job—that is occasionally parked in front of my office building. What are the odds?

Just twenty-four hours before he waltzed down State Street, I was there, eating my lunch across the street at Così (had the Tuscan Pesto Chicken sandwich, yum!). Sat near the window, too. I could have seen him. Or he could have seen me. Eek! Actually, I did look rather fetch that day. Dressed to the nines, I was. Black leggings, slinky grey/black tunic top, grey sandals with kitten heels, claret and black-lined raincoat with hood. No doubt about it. I would have made an impression in those classy duds Thursday. Don’t recall, though, what I wore on Friday when he was actually here.

This is the second time Jumper has filmed in Ann Arbor when the college students were away. Perhaps by design? October 15 & 16 were Fall Break days, so most of the students left town Thursday or early Friday. I would have had Hayden practically to myself. Ha!

Sadly, the gossip wasn’t particularly juicy. He allegedly bought Chapstick lip protection and we learned that he smokes du Mauriers, a Canadian brand. A lucky Bivouac employee had the honor of covering up his zits with concealer. Who knew he had zits? I guess that knocks him down a notch or so on the LGSM, or Living God Scale of Measurement. She’ll probably have that tube of concealer bronzed. I know I would.

While it is comforting to know that my dreams of bumping into Hayden are not mere pipe dreams, it remains another missed opportunity. Another close call. Close, but no cigar. Or, in this case, no du Maurier. Here I was, worried that I might get mugged Friday night as I left my office after dark, but it could have been Hayden that I bumped into on the street that night. Hey, that boy can mug me anytime!  [17 Oct 2007]

Not Enough Hayden Retrospective

Retrospective: 2005-2007

Did you really think I would forget that October 14th was the two year anniversary of this website? No, I didn’t forget. Unfortunately, it took me several hours to collect and organize all these photos. Has it really been two years? Unbelievable! Time sure flies when you’re having fun, eh?

The above photo montage doesn’t include every photo I used since Not Enough Hayden’s inception, but it does constitute the bulk of them. I would have included more, but I thought it might be nice to get a little sleep this weekend. Incidentally, column six should look familiar—it is the current navigation menu. Needless to say, this collection proves how photogenic our boy is!

I hope you had fun with the crossword puzzle. I might get ambitious and do another puzzle of some kind. I like doing Sudoku, tangrams, and all kinds of puzzles. In the meantime, feast your eyes on all 70 of these luscious photos of Hayden, several being favorites of mine. My humanities professor in college—a little old Italian lady—used to admonish us: “Everything in moderation.” Of course, it was in regards to imbibing in spirits (of the liquid variety) and she was likely quoting someone more famous than herself, although I don’t recall now who it was [ed. perhaps she was paraphrasing this Terence guy who wrote “Moderation in all things.”] Obviously, I have a little problem with the concept of moderation. I like to call this retrospective montage a multi-sensory experience. Yes, drink it in. It’s a natural high, my friends. By all means, enjoy!

P.S. Remember how I signed up to be a bone marrow donor two weeks ago? Maybe I was prescient. We just got the devastating news that a seven-year-old at my church has relapsed in his leukemia and will require a bone marrow transplant. We hope his younger brother will be a match, but his family could really use your prayers. I am all torn up about this. He is just the sweetest little boy, who has endured so much in his young life. His hair had just grown back in and he started school last month after missing a year during his first bout with cancer. Pray for Neill, please!  [15 Oct 2007]

Hayden Crossword Puzzle #1

Puzzled

There is no question that Hayden is a puzzle. I mean, you never know what he’s going to do next. At one point he hints he might buy a place in London (U.K.), then the next thing you know he’s bought himself a farm in Ontario. He’s so unpredictable!

Rather than adopt a state of perpetual perplexity, let’s just roll with it and accept that we are never going to figure him out. He’s an enigma. That’s okay. I like enigmas.

So, in honor of the puzzle he is, I’ve made a Hayden-related crossword puzzle. The typical Hayden fan should find it fairly easy to fill in. Regular readers of this website will think it a piece of cake. This isn’t brain surgery, ya know. But, just in case, I’ve provided a key. Don’t peek until you have given it a try. [10 Oct 2007]

Puzzle #1

Puzzle #1 (Key)

One of Canada’s best products

Thankful

Today is Thanksgiving Day in Canada (second Monday in October). Not to be confused with the U.S. version which is the last Thursday in November. So let’s reflect upon all the things I am thankful for:

 

1. A certain cute Canadian Jedi
2. Clearly Canadian (blueberry flavored) sparkling water, which reminds me of…
3. Hayden’s sparkly blue eyes
4. Hayden’s lips
5. Hayden’s relatively sophisticated vocabulary
6. Being able to watch Maple Leafs’ games on CBC’s Hockey Night in Canada via their Windsor, Ontario affiliate
7. Hayden’s pout (worst film actor, indeed!)
8. Canadian music groups/artists/composers (e.g., Nickelback, OLP, Rush, Sarah McLachlan, Diana Krall, Alanis Morissette, Mychael Danna)
9. Hayden’s unpredictability
10. Canadian hockey-players-turned-Detroit Redwings (e.g., Steve Yzerman, Gordie Howe, Terry Sawchuck, Sid Abel, Ted Lindsay, Dan Cleary, Kris Draper, Kirk Maltby, Chris Osgood, Brendan Shanahan, Brett Hull, Manny Legacé, etc.)
11. My Canadian ancestors — Upper Canada (Ontario): Asa Brown, Eliza Lee, Hannah Brown; Lower Canada/Canada-East/Quebec: Joseph Vipond, Mary Lancaster, Esther Vipond
12. Elvis Presley
13. All my Canadian double cousins who make genealogy extra interesting (my great-great grandparents were double second cousins—they shared a set of great grandparents)
14. George Lucas choosing Hayden to play Anakin Skywalker
15. Anakin’s great hair in Sith (with the exception of some pickup shoots where it was less than stellar)
16. Hayden’s sideburns (yum!)

Yeah, I slipped #12 in there to see if you were paying attention. I have been an Elvis fan for … like forever. If he were still alive and in his thirties I would drop Hayden like a hot potato. No, really I would. A good looking guy who can sing love songs — are you kidding me? It isn’t even worth debating.

P.S. My dad just phoned me from the top of the Gateway Arch in St. Louis! How cool is that? [08 Oct 2007]

They don’t like the way Ani pouts

“Grade A Pouter”

I have had better weeks.

As part of my job, I must work at on-site registration for the various career fairs that my office sponsors. It definitely does not rank high on my list of favorite things to do. I’ve tried to explain this to the counselors, in their own vernacular, that I am an introvert and we introverts don’t enjoy schmoozing with overprivileged college kids our clients for four solid hours. But it falls on deaf ears. They mostly laugh, insisting that I am so good at it. Sigh. Thus, I suffer in silence. In my business, pouting does not earn you any points.

So, upon conclusion of the first grueling gig of the school year (one down, nine to go), I turned to one of my favorite blogs for some hard-earned words of comfort. It is actually the only blog I read that deals with Hollywood, written by (mostly incognito) Hollywood insiders. I’d mention the blog’s name except it is also a political blog and I promised not to drag my political views into this. Well, the blogger decided to hold an impromptu poll for worst film actor. Given that the only criteria was the actor had to be currently working, it was a free-for-all. As you can imagine, so many names were offered up that it became a rather pointless exercise. So the blogger narrowed it down to a list of thirty that readers could rank, from worst to least worst. I’m sure you’ll find this roster as appalling as I did. Here it is, in no particular order:

Julia Roberts; Brad Pitt; Leo DiCaprio; Matt Damon; Ben Affleck; Josh Hartnett; Nicole Kidman; Renee Zellwegger; Jake Gyllenhaal; George Clooney; Ryan Phillipe; Jessica Alba; Nicolas Cage; Angelina Jolie; Keanu Reeves; Halle Berry; Charlize Theron; Orlando Bloom; Ashton Kutcher; Hayden Christensen; Keira Knightley; Kirsten Dunst; Maggie Gyllenhaal; Cameron Diaz; Jennifer Lopez; Sharon Stone; Jennifer Aniston; Colin Farrell; Gwyneth Paltrow; Harrison Ford.

Uh-huh. I think it’s safe to say the current crop of twenty- and thirtysomethings fails to impress this crowd. What appalled me was not the inclusion of Ashton or Keira, but the multi-talented Mr. Christensen sandwiched between them. Factory Girl aside, how did he deserve this besmirching? First the Razzie award, now this! Granted, half of these actors were included because the blog readers don’t like the inane things they say off-screen, but Hayden could never be counted among that bunch.

Natch, I was crushed. Here I thought I was among kindred spirits and, and… they bashed my baby! Tore my darling Chrishy-poo to shreds. Ranked him among the rankest. How dare they?! Could my week get any worse than this? Disheartened, I dragged my sorry butt home without even voting. The poll results* were posted yesterday (on my day off), so I didn’t see them until today. I regret to report that Hayden received seventh worst (or 24th least worst) along with this summation:

Grade A pouter. Sullen, thy name is Hayden. Petulance, meet Hayden—oh, you already know each other. Hayden, if you could just sulk for us—oh, you already are.

Before I saw the results, I could only speculate that most of these people had probably only seen him in Star Wars, which is hardly fair. You know and I know that Hayden gave Anakin a stilted, slightly monotone voice to foreshadow the Vader he would become, but I think several misguided souls mistook that woodenness for poor acting skills. In fact, one commenter confirmed my suspicion of judging him solely on this galactic character:

Why is Hayden Christensen in there at all? I thought he was just in the apocryphal Star Wars prequels. If so, that’s hardly a star by any stretch. He can still be hateable, don’t get me wrong. Just not a star.

Well, nimrod, the criteria was working film actor, not a “star”, but hey, whatever. Yet there was one person who warmed the cockles of my heart by defending our fair-haired boy:

He was actually pretty good in the 2003 film Shattered Glass [ed., my thoughts exactly]. That’s not to say that [D.H.] isn’t correct about his sullen, adolescent attitude he’s brought to a lot of his work, but he is capable of giving a good performance. I blame most of the great problems of the Star Wars prequels on the fact that George Lucas couldn’t write his way out of a paper bag. The man’s a director, and he should have tracked down [University of Michigan alumnus] Lawrence Kasdan and sat his butt down in front of a computer before even thinking of starting on Episode I.

While I am grateful to Hayden’s defender (who restored my faith in humanity), this commenter probably hasn’t seen his Golden Globe-nominated performance in Life As A House. Granted, he played the sullen, angst-ridden teen-ager that D.H. was lambasting, but that’s the way his character was written. There is something to be said for playing the part you’re given. Sheesh!

I concur that George Lucas wrote some horrific lines, especially for Anakin & Padmé. I still wince at the “You’re so beautiful” scene in Sith. Ick. Or that fireplace scene in Clones, “I’m haunted by the kiss that you should never have given me.” If Hayden ever spoke those insipid words to me, I would barf. Nonetheless, I think it is incredibly hard to put a human face on Darth Vader. He was the epitome of evil, behind that imposing mask, for so many years. Some fans had a hard time accepting the premise that he started out as a flawed, impetuous boy who lacked the strong guidance of a real father and let that “Chosen One” status go to his head.

I’m happy to report that my week did end on a good note. I signed up to be a bone marrow donor today. It was always on my Round Tuit list (you know, the “I’ll do it when I get a round tuit”), but tuits are hard to come by, especially the round ones. Who knows, maybe I’ll get to save a life some day. Wouldn’t that be great?

 *So who garnered Worst Actor honors? Julia Roberts claimed the #1 spot, followed by Mr. Ashton Kutcher, who was feted with “Great as a moron on [That] 70’s Show. Horrible, horrible, horrible everywhere else.” [28 Sep 2007]

Hayden as Stephen Glass

Just Imagine

Albert Einstein once said, “Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited.” This is why I would make a lousy actor. I value knowledge and spend much of my free time pursuing it. Yet imagination is invaluable to an actor. I remember having a conversation with Frank Collison about a scene he had in the film Diggstown. It was a small role. He played a prison guard. In this scene (which must have been cut, at least in the edited-for-television version I saw), Frank had to peer through a keyhole in a door and react to a scenario as described to him by the director. Frank has a very expressive face, so I regret that I never got the chance to see this scene. It was obvious that he relished the challenge of reacting to something that wasn’t there, and then realistically and convincingly conveying it to an audience.

This, I gather, is why actors act. So, here I am… a non-actor trying to explain actors. Hey, I’m not afraid to make a fool of myself take a stab at it. One of these days I’ll tell you about my acting experience. In a word, it was non-existent. My hammy sister (or hamster for short) was the thespian in our family. Well, my dad was in one play. He likes to tell the story about how he skipped over a page and a half of dialogue during the performance and the other actor, after pausing a beat, managed to pick up where he left off while my dad remained totally oblivious to what he had done. Now, I’m not sure this is something to brag about, but at least he can claim acting experience.

In Revenge of the Sith, and most likely the upcoming Jumper, Hayden had to react to things that weren’t there. Often, he worked on bare bones sets which lacked scenery, actors, galactic creatures, props and just about anything else that might provide helpful visual or aural cues. He worked in front of sterile blue or green screens that were utilized to fill in computer-generated imagery and sounds: things the audience could see and hear but the actors could not. Of course those geniuses at ILM can be creative, too. In one scene, Anakin is in Padmé’s apartment, holding a tablet-like communication device and questioning her about Obi-Wan’s recent visit (he suspects they are (a) having an affair, or (b) colluding against him). Anakin never moves the tablet thingy in his hand. Evidently, the ILM folks thought that was lame, so they moved it for him. Why? Because they imagined it would look cooler and… because they could!

Obviously, my point (before I got sidetracked by ILM) is that it takes talent to react to something that isn’t there and make it believable. Another example of using imagination would be in Shattered Glass, where Hayden had to react like his character Stephen Glass. How do you react to getting caught in a lie when you’re actually a magnificent liar? Most of us have trouble telling a lie convincingly. Truthfulness is a virtue and we pride ourselves in adhering to it. When we know we’re fibbing we have a difficult time hiding that fact from others. Hayden himself admitted that it was a challenge to play someone for whom lying was second nature. For the real-life Stephen Glass, his imagination must have become his version of reality. He believed it, therefore he could convince others it was real. He was, perhaps, the ultimate actor. That is, until he was caught. I must say that Hayden pulled this character off very well. Believe me, the TNR staffers weren’t the only ones questioning Stephen’s stories when it was over.

This is the point where I have to mention my favorite Hayden scene. It is the final one in Shattered Glass where Stephen must tacitly acknowledge his misdeeds in front of TNR editor Chuck Lane (Peter Sarsgaard) and their respective lawyers. As Lane reads the the list of allegedly fabricated articles, Stephen’s expressions run the gamut: from defiance to impatience to shame and resignation. I’m probably even missing a few emotions, but you get the picture. It was brilliant and not a word of dialogue on Hayden’s part! That is why I am so hooked on this boy. It is performances like that one that will keep me coming back for more.

And you thought I was going to mention… the shower scene from Life As A House? Oh, puhleez! I’m not that shallow. Okay, I am, but only on Mondays. [21 Sep 2007]

September 11, 2001, New York City

Remember (OT)

 

Remember the victims. May they rest in peace.

 

 

 

Watch the Kevin Cosgrove video on YouTube, one of the most chilling I’ve experienced. Cosgrove, 46, was a claims VP at Aon Corporation. Audio of his 911 call from the South Tower is syncronized with video of the towers. You can hear his despair, his struggle to breathe in the thick smoke. I simply lose it every time the tower falls and you hear him say, “Oh, God…!”  [11 Sep 2007]

Hayden sports a red plaid scarf

Awake

Wake Me Up When September Ends

I’ve been a tad busy and considerably sleep deprived, so please bear with me. You would think that having a medication eliminated from your daily regimen would be a good thing. Instead, it has been absolute hell. This particular medication, prescribed for an allergy, made me drowsy, so I would take it at bedtime and be out like a light in 10-15 minutes. How great is that? But now it takes me 2-3 hours—yes, hours!—to drift off into sweet, slumberland. As someone who requires a full eight hours of beauty sleep, it is detrimental to my long-term health (and it ain’t been so hot in the short term either). And who knows how many dreams of Hayden are going down the tubes due to my newly acquired insomnia.

Not that I’ve dreamt about him all that much. Okay, once. And that was a much too brief and idiotic encounter, as I recall. There I was in a roomful of… no, no, I’m not going to bore you. It was just the dumbest dream ev’ah. Believe me, if it was even the slightest bit juicy, you’d be hearing about it.

Last night was another toss ’n’ turner, so I got out of bed at midnight and began to knit. That’s right. Like Tracey Ullman (who once knitted a practical necktie for Hayden Jay Leno), I’m teaching myself to knit one, purl two (or is it knit two, purl one?) ad nauseam. My first project is a scarf (you’ll hear more about that in a sec). By the way, I just read an article by a guy who knits who passed on this valuable tip to knitters of the distaff (that’s us, ladies) persuasion: Never knit a to-die-for sweater for your boyfriend if you want to hang onto him. Really. A lovingly handmade sweater is like the kiss of death for romantic relationships. Men interpret them as something akin to a marriage proposal. Apparently they can’t handle the perceived commitment that a sweater entails. Guys can be such wusses, I swear. Hayden being the exception, of course!

The knitman further advises: Do not knit your boyfriend a sweater (or necktie) unless he begs for one. Then, promptly ignore him until he begs again. After that, tell him you’ll think about doing it after you’ve completed all your other projects. If he persists (when pigs fly), make him pick out the pattern and pay for the yarn. If he’s that invested, he’s unlikely to go AWOL. See, I’ve just saved you a whole lot of trouble and possibly kept you from enduring the heartache of premature Splitsville with your SO. Don’t worry, my bill is in the mail.

So, apparently I have yet another thing in common with Hayden (yawn). I am spending a ton of hours A-W-A-K-E and his upcoming film is called Awake. This can’t be a coincidence, people. All things happen for a reason. I am convinced of it. With all this extra time on my hands, I decided to put it to good use and make another list.

You Know You’re a Hayden Christensen Fan When…

1. You create a website to muse about You-Know-Who.
2. Your cat’s nickname is “Darth Kitty.”
3. You own a life-size, cardboard cutout of Anakin Skywalker.
4. You hide a photograph of Mr. Christensen in your office to get you through those interminably long work hours.
5. You travel 300 miles (482 km) to Columbus, Ohio and back, in order to sigh over a costume worn by Hayden in Star Wars.
6. You create playlists on your iPod called “(Songs) Hayden Might Like”, “HaydenC” and “Luv Songs 4 Chrish.”
7. You go to ridiculous lengths to put a scratchy recording on your iPod of Hayden saying “My favorite color is green” because your favorite color IS green.
8. You pay an extra annual fee for an auto license plate that says “HAYDENC.”
9. You capture screen shots of your fave Hayden screen savers on your digital camera so you can carry Chrish with you on vacation.
10. You use your well-honed genealogical research skills to discover the origin of the name of Hayden’s production company.
11. Your computer and other gadgetry passwords are derivatives of Hayden’s name, residences, characters and films.
12. You say a prayer every night asking for Hayden to stay single or sweep you off your feet safe.
13. You (quite unintentionally) crash a movie set and risk global humiliation to get a glimpse of Hayden.
14. You consider applying for a passport just so you’ll be ready to visit Toronto on a moment’s notice.
15. You decide to knit yourself a pricey (but very cool) scarf—consisting of seven frou-frou yarns—simply because it’s called a ‘Christensen’ scarf. Stay tuned—a picture is forthcoming.

 [05 Sep 2007]