Hayden revealed

Expressivo

I have a little hobby. I collect license plates. Not the physical plates, mind you. I keep a list of the interesting ones I see on the road or in my parking structure—vanity plates that usually spell something. You know, something along the lines of…

HAYDENC

Gee, I wonder who might have that one?? Tee-hee.

Here are some easy ones…
STUNT 1 CROWN GUFF	STRIDER TOY4DAD (on a sporty convertible, of course)
Then there are the sports enthusiasts…
SKI4USA TAEBO HOOP D	PISTONZ (a Detroit Pistons fan, fer sure) HATRIX (think hockey) TMLEAFS (traitor!)
Animal lovers…
C OTTER CATFREK PUGALRT [M]ONKEY (incorporates the Block M on Univ. of Michigan plates)
Those who tell you who they are…
ROSALIA ABOYTOY OLL1E LYDA AUSSIEE BADGRLS MONICHA	[M]JKOOL NY KID JUSTKIM BADMAMA ISAGENX UFG8R00 (U of Florida Gator, Class of ’00… the UF window decal gave it away)
Or their occupation or interests…
REDXEMT LAWMANN	LOV2DNC (would that be the Happy Dance?) NRFHRDR (whoa, a Star Wars reference!) OB1WAN (where’s Anakin?)
Some like to express themselves or give advice…
LUV HER DUMPHIM USA ROX HUSH STYLISH	GO2JEUZ HEA7VEN ZEROGAS WEEEEEE
Or just ask that all-important question…
YRUU

Y INDEED!? [27 June 2008]

Rude baby

He vs. Me… and She

Krish is #680!

It has been ten whole days since the Jumper DVD was released… and I still haven’t bought my own copy. Must be some kind of record for me. You might say it’s my own private protest: a refusal to “aid and abet” bad filmmaking. Admittedly, this holding-out-on-principle business is beginning to wear me down. Words like “traitor” and “Judas” keep flitting through my subconscience. A little voice inside implores, “You call yourself a Hayden Christensen fan? Are you just going to let his film set on the store shelf indefinitely?!”

Not indefinitely. If I allow it to, uh, ferment, do you think it might improve during the aging process? No? Okay, I didn’t think so either.

Changing gears. Last month, the U.S. Social Security Administration released its annual list of most popular baby names. Our favorite Canadian boy is part of a growing Yankee trend: boys’ names that rhyme with “maiden” are gaining stature, although the experts aren’t sure why. But, rest assured, spendthrifty bureaucrats in the U.S. Congress will commission a study and get to the bottom of this!

I was chapfallen to learn that my name, Kathleen, is on the endangered list—projected to fall out of the Top 500 by 2020, possibly as early as 2015. It logged in at a shameful #420 during 2007. Meanwhile, in the same year Hayden soared to #71 on the U.S. baby charts. In Canada*, where one would expect his name to garner increased popularity, Hayden is:

• #19 in Saskatchewan
• #43 in Alberta
• #55 in his native British Columbia
• #57 in his homeland Ontario
• #263 in Québec

Sacrebleu! Those Québecers know how to spoil a party, eh? Never fear. Michiganders to the rescue! My home state’s affinity for all things Hayden—where 218 Hayden babes cooed their way to #64—takes the sting out of French Canadian rejection. Touché!

Hayden :: English origin :: means “from the hay downs”
Kathleen :: Irish origin :: means “pure”

Hmmm, I don’t have a drop of Irish blood in me. It would have been more appropriate to name me Katalin, after my Hungarian great-great grandma. As you can see from the graph below, Hayden is trending down and Kathleen is trending upwards. In this case, down is good, up is bad.

Hayden’s popularity surpassed Kathleen’s in 1997 and never looked back. We’re like two ships passing in the night. And yet, the news only gets worse…

 

Not only can I not compete with her beauty, I can’t even gain a toehold in a lousy baby naming competition! Precious Rachel was #60 last year. That does it… I’m changing my name to Katherine (#39)!

Actually, poor Rachel is losing ground. Her heyday was in the 1990s when she regularly basked in the Top 20. Nonetheless, I’ve decided to banish her name from this website. Yes, one cannot be too cautious. The mere repetition of her name might cause a sudden surge in popularity and I shall have none of that! From hereafter (or until she ceases to be a threat to my eternal happiness), Ms. Bilson will be known as:

Blanche Rolis

Ha! That should quash her popularity. No one named Blanche is even remotely hot.

 

My Top Ten (in no particular order)
Girls	2007 Ranking	Boys	2007 Ranking
Emése (Hungarian) (pronounced ay-MAY-shah)	--	Kellen	506
Nadine	--	Christian	22
Bethany	292	Jay	397
Julia	34	Torre	--
Karis/Karissa	--/663	Nathaniel	82
Elise	225	Casey	326
Maeve	619	Shawn/Sean	176/75
Alexandra	49	Jonathan	23
Shannon	436	Jeshua	--
Vada	3,017 in Alberta, Canada!	Kyle	86

Vada sounds a lot like Vader, eh? Pssst… the year I was born, Kathleen was #27 in popularity (while Kathy was #21), R@chel was #198 and Hayden was nowhere to be found!

*Canadian statistics, 2003-2007; year varies by province [20 June 2008]

Google map street view of a JUMPER film location

Whither Thou Goest

Have you ever yearned to tread where the gods have trod? Meaning Hayden, natch. Well, I have been fortunate enough to do so, due to the sheer luck that Hayden was here in Ann Arbor last fall to film bits and pieces of Jumper I (a sequel is reportedly in the works). As previously mentioned on this web site, he was filmed in front of the Michigan Book & Supply store and also seen patronizing the Bivouac (clothing/sporting goods) and Ashley’s (bar/restaurant). All three businesses are located in close proximity to one another on State Street.

“Entreat me not to leave thee, [or] to return from following after thee: for whither thou goest, I will go; and where thou lodgest, I will lodge…”
—Ruth 1:16, KJV

Ah, that Ruth had the right idea! The good news is that thou you, too, can walk down State Street and trace Hayden’s path to the Biv, et al, without leaving the comfort of your domicile. So, sink down in to that bean bag chair, crank up your favorite web browser and get thee to Google Maps. Copy the address below and paste it into the Search Maps field:

712 N University Ave, Ann Arbor, MI 48104

On the resulting Google map, note that North University Avenue dead ends at South State Street. This is the location of Michigan Book & Supply (more or less). In the Google Map pop-up balloon, click on the “Street View” link. This is where the magic begins! Depending on the initial view presented, you may have to click on the right or left directional arrows to see MB&S (pictured above). The store sign should look familiar. It is briefly visible, over Hayden’s shoulder, in a scene as Hayden/David Rice jumps away from Ann Arbor to a location elsewhere on the globe.

As you face MB&S, click once on the West street-level directional arrow to move into the State Street intersection. Don’t get run over, eh? If you were to continue north on State Street for a block, you would come to the State Theatre where I saw Factory Girl. Instead, turn around 180° to head south on State Street. Click once on the South street-level directional arrow. Ah, there’s the Biv coming into view on your right! Keep clicking southward until you reach 352 S State St* and then turn/rotate right to face it. Can’t you just picture Hayden coming out that door after buying lip-saving ointment, his zits carefully concealed by an overzealous Biv employee? Savor it. Ahhhhh!

Click the South arrow again (362 S State St) and you’ll see Ashley’s, otherwise known as the blue-and-puke-yellow building to the left of the Biv and Wazoo Records. Hey, Cintas truck, would you mind getting the bleepity-bleep-bleep out of the way?!

It’s just a hop, skip and a jump from this sacred ground to my office. Continue south on State Street. Turn west at the Jimmy Johns. After the church on East William, hang a left (south) onto Maynard Street. When you reach Maynard St/E Jefferson St (one city block), you are in the vicinity of my office building. Give the South arrow one more click (590 E Jefferson St), then face/rotate south, if necessary.

See that black cube thingy behind the white van? It’s a campus landmark which I pass every day. Officially known as “Endover”, it was created by sculptor Bernard “Tony” Rosenthal (Michigan alumnus ’36). Similar cubes exist in Miami and Manhattan. On April Fool’s Day, someone couldn’t resist giving ours a Rubik’s Cube makeover, but this better depicts its normal state. A neat feature of this sculpture: it rotates on its axis. You can get it moving by pushing it with just one finger. Honest! I’ve done it myself.

Well, kids, that concludes our brief but memorable tour of Hayden’s stomping grounds in Ann Arbor. Ironically, these Google street view photos were taken in October 2007, around the same time that Hayden was here. How do I know this? According to their marquees, both the State Theatre and the Michigan Theatre (located on East Liberty Street) were showing The Jane Austen Book Club, which was released 05 October 2007.

*Street addresses are approximate [13 June 2008]

Detroit goalie Chris Osgood denies Pittsburgh a tying goal in the final second of Game 6 during the 2008 Stanley Cup finals

11 Cups (OT)

I have been on a brief hiatus due to a family emergency: my dad broke his hip. Being the dutiful daughter looking to score extra Brownie points prior to Father’s Day, I’ve visited him in the hospital—and now a rehab center—as much as possible. Just prior to Dad’s fall, dear Grams took her turn in the hospital. I couldn’t easily visit her because she fell ill while vacationing out of state. Dad came through his operation fine (half hip replacement) but the catheter was left in too long and he developed a bladder infection which left him rather cranky. Can’t say that I blame him, though.

Due to this controlled chaos coinciding with the Stanley Cup finals (Detroit vs. Pittsburgh), I have had very little free time. After giving us a scare in Game 5 (triple overtime loss) and a dejá vu moment in the waning seconds second of regulation during Game 6, the Red Wings finally clinched their 11th Cup Wednesday night in Pittsburgh. How many teams, I wonder, have dispatched each opponent in their own rink? That’s what Detroit did with Nashville, Colorado, Dallas and Pittsburgh. This team is so talented, hard-working, uncomplaining. I am enormously proud to be a Red Wings fan. I just wish Chrish could feel the same tingly feelings I had Wednesday night. Maybe someday…

So, congrats to captain Nicklas Lidstrom, Conn Smythe trophy winner Henrik Zetterberg, head coach Mike Babcock, and a whole host of Red Wings for another successful season and for bringing that Stanley Cup home where it belongs… Hockeytown! Now, shave off those silly playoff beards, will ya?

It must be tough for Hayden: Not seeing his favorite team, the Toronto Maple Leafs, in the playoffs, let alone vying for the Cup. Believe it or not, the Leafs actually have the edge on the dynastic Wings in regards to Cup winnings. They are stuck on “unlucky” 13, not that I’m superstitious. Their last Stanley Cup was procured in 1967 (14 BHC*), unless you count this one. Heh, heh.

So, what does a struggling professional hockey team do when they are, well… struggling? Hmmm, I guess they lend their once proud name to a comedy film starring Mike Myers and Jessica Alba called The Love Guru, opening at a theatre near you June 20th. Yep, that’s what I’d do.

Seems those Canadians are getting a little testy, not having a team in the Stanley Cup finals and all. Now they are ready to riot because the CBC may abandon the “Hockey Night in Canada” theme song. Is nothing sacred anymore? Sheesh!

*BHC, or Before Hayden Christensen, is a relatively new calendar system developed by a team of female anthropologists in Newfoundland, or so I hear.

[06 June 2008]

Incognito

Ypsilantiwood?

Remember how I told ya that our lady guv signed legislation for a huge tax incentive for the film industry? Well, apparently it’s working because the area is abuzz with Drew Barrymore sightings this week. She quietly slipped into town to scout locations for her directorial debut film Whip It! The dirt is that she’s looking for a nice Victorian house, a dumpy Victorian house, and a diner. The front page of today’s Ann Arbor News sports a candid photo of Ms. Barrymore (yup, sure looks like the real deal) posing with an employee outside Fortney Eye Care Associates in neighboring Ypsilanti (where yours truly used to get her eyewear).

“She kinda had the celebrity uniform—the tattered jeans and sunglasses and a scarf.” —Leighton Mann, Ypsilanti blogger

Locals blogged about her surprise visit here and here. Academy Award nominated actress Ellen Page (Juno) is to star in the roller derby flick. Ypsilanti is sort of the poor cousin to Ann Arbor, but it does have some interesting architecture, a university, and was the locale of “The Co-ed Killer.” Speaking of interesting architecture… maybe the quirky Ypsilanti water tower will finally get to make its Hollywood debut. It has a lot of (ahem) interesting nicknames due to its phallic shape.

I was plenty skeptical that Michigan could become the new Hollywood. Yet filming in Toronto is no longer the lucrative prospect it once was thanks to the declining U.S. dollar. Sorry, Hayden, if we’re squeezing out your beloved Canada, but Michigan is hurtin’ for new business. I guess I’ll have to start spending my lunch time outdoors, camera in tow, if I want to rub elbows with all the Tinseltown glitterati coming my way!

Anyway, if Barrymore & Page do come to town and you have a hankering to stalk them spend some time in that fair city, you’ll blend in much better if you learn to pronounce it correctly: ip-suh-LAN-tee. Named for General Demetrius Ypsilanti (1793-1832), a hero in the Greek war for independence. And if you want to sound like a real local, just shorten it to Ypsi (pronounced ip-SEE). Not yip-SEE. Unless your objective is to annoy people. Now, the Internet Movie Database says that Whip It! is to be filmed in Texas, and maybe the bulk of the principle shooting will occur there, but Ypsi has a plethora of transplanted Southerners who migrated north decades ago to work in the auto plants. My dad, who used to work at the Ypsilanti plant, often referred to it as “Ypsi-tucky.”

[23 May 2008]

Desirable

QT’s

Time for another list! Behold, my all-time tally of QTs, or cuties: Cutest Guys Ever. In no particular order I reveal 25 suave and swoonably debonair males who have bewitched me throughout my lifetime. Most are actors, some are NCs = non-celebs. I tend to favor brunettes. Hold onto your drool, guys and gals!

1. Elvis Presley (singer/actor)
2. Darrell R. (NC)
3. Daniel Radcliffe (actor)
4. Jason Taylor (football player/dancer)
5. Jeff M. (NC)
6. Steve Yzerman (hockey player)
7. Christopher Reeve (actor)
8. Derek Hough (dancer/singer)
9. Paul Gross (actor)
10. Dave B. (NC)
11. Josh Hartnett (actor)
12. Bob C. (NC)
13. Ben Barnes (actor)
14. Animal (muppet)
15. Torre M. (NC)
16. Gerard Butler (actor)
17. Jim Caviezel (actor)
18. Albert Reed (model)
19. HRH Prince William Mountbatten-Windsor (royalty)
20. John F. Kennedy, Jr. (magazine publisher)
21. Clem W. (NC)
22. Christian Bale (actor)
23. Moose a.k.a. Eddie (animal actor)
24. Joe Lando (actor/producer)
25. Hayden Christensen (actor/producer/heartthrob/potential mate)

[22 May 2008]

Hayden is one groovy guy!

The Power of H

Hayden has captured my heart because… he genuinely seems to be one of the nicest guys on the planet… He sees the glass half full… He sets lofty goals which he vigorously pursues and often attains… He gives people the benefit of the doubt and doesn’t assume they are out to get him… He is comfortable in his own skin, i.e., self-assured… He shrugs off the negative or erroneous perceptions others may have of him… He takes risks… He’s humble, respectful, charming, courteous, thoughtful… He demands perfection of himself and others, not in the sense that one needs to be flawless, but that one should strive for excellence… He can see the big picture… yet he notices the minutiae often missed by others…

He exudes sensitivity… He is creative, musical, contemplative, compassionate, content, classy, unpretentious, eloquent… Masculine, attractive, provocative, clean-cut, athletic, buff… Hardworking, engaging, pleasant, upbeat, appreciative, tolerant, humorous… Loves animals… Kind, generous, sincere, perceptive, reliable, honest yet especially good at hedging… Knowledgeable, gifted, decisive, capable, determined, competitive, multidimensional, decent, sweet, chilvarous, receptive…

Saint Hayden? Oh, hardly. To be sure, the man has his flaws. But this muse is all about his positive energy and why I admire him. If ever there are times when Hayden feels beaten down by life, I hope he happens upon this introspective and realizes that he possesses many commendable qualities which the world will miss after he is gone. Not that I am advocating he exit the stage any time soon! [07 May 2008]

Scott Barringer had a secret

Scott’s Dilemma

My introduction to the talented Mr. Christensen occurred when I saw the pilot episode of Higher Ground. The cable television show dealt with troubled teens who attended an alternative school called Mount Horizon. In most cases their participation was voluntary… well, uh, voluntary in the sense that they chose the school in lieu of incarceration. Scott Barringer, Hayden’s character, matriculated by other means—an intervention staged by his father and the Mt. Horizon staff.

Like many of the kids at Mt. Horizon, Scott had a drug problem. He also had anger issues, but the Mt. Horizon counselors believed his drug use and anger were symptoms of some deeper, underlying problem. Gradually the cause was revealed. It wasn’t his parents’ divorce and his father’s remarriage to a much younger woman—although that certainly was a cause of pain for him. No, Scott had been sexually molested by his new step mom. Of course this was meant to be a twist on the stereotypical molestation case, which usually involves a man and young girl. Hollywood loves to go against the grain.

In Scott’s case, it started out as harmless flirting and progressed into a full-blown sexual relationship. Being a teen-aged boy with raging hormones, and probably feeling somewhat abandoned by his real mom, Scott responded to his attractive step mom’s flattery. She took advantage of his confusion and vulnerability, giving him the “love” he was seeking. Wrong kind of love, though.

As their extracurricular activity (ahem) evolved, Scott felt consumed by guilt. He was sleeping with his dad’s wife, she was cheating on his dad, and he knew it was all horribly wrong. When he tried to end it, step mom turned wicked witch on him, blackmailing him with threats of revealing the love letters he had written her during the early stages of his infatuation and accusing him of initiating the affair.

Scott knew he was trapped and felt powerless to fix it. So he lashed out by getting into trouble. When drugs and truancy endangered his chances for a coveted athletic scholarship, that got the attention of his sports-obsessed father.

Like Scott, I was sexually molested as a child. I have also been sexually harassed as an adult. Twice. Yeah, that’s not an easy thing to admit even though I know I wasn’t at fault. I won’t delve into the sexual harassment incidents, but I will talk about the molestation. It occurred at a summer camp when I was nine or ten years old. The perpetrator was a male counselor who was in his 50s or 60s. That’s right, a dirty old man!

One day after lunch I decided to walk back alone to my cabin. The male counselor caught up with me and invited me into the boys’ cabin. I knew it was off-limits, but he assured me it would be “okay” because I was with him. He was the adult, so I figured he knew best. He took me to the back of the cabin where we sat together on one of the beds (the only furniture available to sit on). My memory is hazy, but he may have had a book or some trinket to show me. He put his arm around me and gave me a big hug.

He told me what a nice girl I was and that he had noticed how kind I was to the other kids. He wondered if I would do something nice for him. Would I let him give me a kiss? Seemed like an odd request and I wasn’t too thrilled about it, but having been raised to be polite I merely shrugged. My noncommittal response did not deter him. He drew me close and kissed me… on the mouth. Ick! Even worse, he kissed me a second time, putting his tongue in my mouth. Ewww! I had never been kissed like that before and didn’t much like it. I managed to squirm free and make an excuse about needing to get back to the other girls. Luckily, he let me go.

I never told my counselors or parents about the incident. Like Scott, I felt ashamed and knew I had done something wrong. I wasn’t supposed to be in the boys’ cabin, you understand. Today, kids are warned about sexual predators and inappropriate touching. When I was a child, we were simply told to stay away from strangers. However, in my child’s way of thinking, this man didn’t meet the criteria for “stranger.” My girls’ cabin and his boys’ cabin had daily activities together.

Years passed and this incident got chucked down the memory hole. In fact, it didn’t resurface until, in my late 20s, I happened to watch a TV show that dealt with the topic of child sexual predators. I had seen many similar shows but something about this one girl’s story triggered a recollection of my own long-forgotten experience. My family happened to be present, so I blurted out my tale, giving a very brief synopsis. You know what happened? Nothing. No one said anything or even asked a question. I don’t know if they were too shocked by my revelation or thought I was just being weird (unlike Stephen Glass, I don’t have a reputation for telling tall tales).

Obviously, this lone childhood incident did not traumatize me or scar me for life. I didn’t resort to being a problem child, i.e., skipping school, getting bad grades, doing drugs, or molesting other kids (although I know of one big kid I wouldn’t mind molesting! wink, nudge). I even managed to overcome my distaste for tongue wrestling, as plainly illustrated by my previous experience under the mistletoe.

The creep who did that to me is probably dead or in an old folks’ home. Who knows. Who cares. I consider myself lucky. It wasn’t the recurring nightmare nor the severity of molestation endured by Scott and countless others. But, rest assured, my greatest contempt is reserved for scum like him and Scott’s step mom. Adults who prey on children—be they neighbors, relatives, scout leaders, teachers, clergy, or complete strangers—are the lowest forms of life drawing breath on this planet. [01 May 2008]