Swab th’ deck, matey!

Passages, Mateys!

Note: I be feelin’ blue about everythin’ th’ other tide, so I thought I could put a more positive spin on ’t if I turned o’er me blog t’ me seafarin’ hearty shipmates. They decided t’ rewrite th’ last passage an’ I kind o’ like th’ result. I had t’ make a few changes on accoun’ o’ ’t changed some o’ th’ names o’ th’ files an’ links so they nay longer worked, e.g., the SwabbiesMover ARRRRRL (er, URL). They might be havin’ gotten a wee carried away wi’ other parts o’ th’ page as well. An’ so, a sea dog might be sayin’ ’t this way, mateys:

Aye, I be havin’ missed a lot o’ milestones an’ special occasions lately. I missed Thanksgivin’ (Canadian-style). E’en worse, I missed Nay Enough Hayden’s 4th anniversary (Octobree 14). That be a big one. How could that happen, ye ask. I guess I don’t attach a great emphasis on self-promotion. That be especially obvious when ye consider another potential milestone: Next high tide’ marks th’ one voyage anniversary o’ me last bookin’ as an extra. Aye, ouch!

Coincidentally, this might also mark th’ final tides o’ filmin’ in Michigan fer Hayden’s movie Vanishin’ On 7th Street. That, me heartys, be sadness on an epic level. I received a mere two e-mails from me agency regardin’ his film. In me heightened state o’ eagerness I erroneously thought they be lookin’ fer extras who had portrayed medical swabbienel. I played a pediatrics nurse. Aye! After smartly readin’ th’ e-mail twice, I nervously clicked th’ “Aye, I’m available” response an’ prayed. That feelin’ o’ euphoria lasted an entire 30 tick-tocks. That’s how long ’t tookst me t’ re-read th’ e-mail an’ disco’er me mistake. They wanted swabbies wi’ “real life” medical experience. Me heart sank. Somehow I instinctively knew that me expired First Aid trainin’ wouldna qualify as “medical experience.” Arrggghhhh!

Th’ second e-mail involved filmin’ on th’ same tide (last high tide’, if ye must know). They be lookin’ fer a swabbie wi’ a stub (arm or pegleg). In a moment o’ desperation I considered volunteerin’ me dear grandmother fer th’ cause (who would natch require th’ lass’ eldest grandlass t’ push th’ lass’ wheelchair), but ultimately decided Granny be too frail fer th’ gruelin’ work on a film set. Double arrggghhhh!

Thar be some confusion as t’ whether Hayden’s film will wrap this tides or next (Thanksgivin’ be mentioned as an end date). However, I wouldn’t be surprised if ’t be this week. A reported $10 cargo holds o’ budget only stretches so far. In Vanishin’, only a handful o’ swabbies be port on th’ planet. Still, Hayden may be doin’ this one “pro bono.” He’s probably countin’ on a percentage o’ th’ profits. Wi’ such a wee budget, they be sure t’ make the’r treasure aft (from Michigan movie-goers alone).

I be pleasantly surprised t’ learn that th’ film’s story be set in Detroit. ’t does seem a logical choice fer an apocalyptic event gi’en th’ current state o’ things. Crumblin’ buildings an’ decayin’ roads. We definitely be havin’ that drab, dire look director Brad Anderson be goin’ fer. E’en Hayden looks grimy… although I suppose that would be inevitable since nay one be around t’ keep th’ water runnin’. Nay showers. LOL. I be under th’ impression that John Leguizamo plays a subway operator, yet Detroit doesn’t be havin’ a subway system (maybe they utilized th’ above-poop deck Swabbies Mover instead?).

This must come as a huge disappointment t’ them o’ ye who expected t’ live vicariously through me shenanigans on th’ Vanishin’ set. I humbly apologize fer me shortcomin’s but, truth be, I saw this comin’…

When ye (meanin’ me) haven’t been booked by yer agency fer twelve moons, thar be a reason fer ’t. Th’ fact that they won’t give me a reason—heck, they deny that one exists—be irrelevant. Th’ writin’ be on th’ wall: “Time t’ hang ’t up, darlin’.”

An’ so, like most o’ ye, I be havin’ nay advantage in seein’ Hayden before th’ actual film be released. Do ye think Hayden put Blanche on th’ Forest Park Production payroll an’ gave th’ lass’ power t’ make decisions… like who might get t’ be extras on this film? Arrrgggghhhh!

Update (18 Nov 2009): “ ’t’s a wrap!” tweeted @JohnLeguizamo (HT @haydenfannews)

[19 Novembree 2009]

Take a shower, would ya!

Passages

Yes, I have missed a lot of milestones and special occasions lately. I missed Thanksgiving (Canadian-style). Even worse, I missed Not Enough Hayden’s 4th anniversary (October 14). That was a big one. How could that happen, you ask. I guess I don’t attach a great emphasis on self-promotion. That is especially obvious when you consider another potential milestone: Tomorrow marks the one year anniversary of my last booking as an extra. Yeah, ouch!

Coincidentally, this might also mark the final week of filming in Michigan for Hayden’s movie Vanishing On 7th Street. That, my friends, is sadness on an epic level. I received a mere two e-mails from my agency regarding his film. In my heightened state of eagerness I erroneously thought they were looking for extras who had portrayed medical personnel. I played a pediatrics nurse. Yes! After quickly reading the e-mail twice, I nervously clicked the “Yes, I’m available” response and prayed. That feeling of euphoria lasted an entire 30 seconds. That’s how long it took me to re-read the e-mail and discover my mistake. They wanted people with “real life” medical experience. My heart sank. Somehow I instinctively knew that my expired First Aid training would not qualify as “medical experience.” Drat!

The second e-mail involved filming on the same day (yesterday, if you must know). They were looking for an individual with a prosthesis (arm or leg). In a moment of desperation I considered volunteering my dear grandmother for the cause (who would natch require her eldest granddaughter to push her wheelchair), but ultimately decided Granny was too frail for the grueling work on a film set. Double drat!

There is some confusion as to whether Hayden’s film will wrap this week or next (Thanksgiving was mentioned as an end date). However, I wouldn’t be surprised if it was this week. A reported $10 million budget only stretches so far. In Vanishing, only a handful of people are left on the planet. Still, Hayden may be doing this one “pro bono.” He’s probably counting on a percentage of the profits. With such a wee budget, they are sure to make their money back (from Michigan movie-goers alone).

I was pleasantly surprised to learn that the film’s story is set in Detroit. It does seem like a logical choice for an apocalyptic event given the current state of things. Crumbling buildings and decaying roads. We definitely have that drab, dire look director Brad Anderson was going for. Even Hayden looks grimy… although I suppose that would be inevitable since no one is around to keep the water running. No showers. LOL. I was under the impression that John Leguizamo plays a subway operator, yet Detroit doesn’t have a subway system (maybe they utilized the above-ground People Mover instead?).

This must come as a huge disappointment to those of you who expected to live vicariously through my shenanigans on the Vanishing set. I humbly apologize for my shortcomings but, truth is, I saw this coming…

When you (meaning me) haven’t been booked by your agency for twelve months, there is a reason for it. The fact that they won’t give me a reason—heck, they deny that one exists —is irrelevant. The writing is on the wall: “Time to hang it up, darling.”

And so, like most of you, I have no advantage in seeing Hayden before the actual film is released. Do you think Hayden put Blanche on the Forest Park Production payroll and gave her power to make decisions… like who might get to be extras on this film? Nah!

Update (18 Nov 2009): “It’s a wrap!” tweeted @JohnLeguizamo (HT @haydenfannews)

[17 November 2009]

Pining for my boy

Trust Me

Hollywood is making a little visit to my neck of the woods tomorrow. We were notified that a movie is filming outside my office building, in front of the Union, and in the Law Quad courtyard. After that, they’ll film interior scenes for several days on North campus. I’d love to say it is Hayden’s film, but it isn’t. It’s a Clive Owen movie called Trust. Will I be working that gig? Of course not. I am apparently persona non grata in the film industry.

I considered for fifteen whole seconds taking a temporary leave of absence to work this unpaid internship on Vanishing On 7th Street, but figured they would stick me in some tiny office photocopying script changes. Something far, far away from Hayden. Yeah, as soon as they got a whiff of my fanaticism, I’d be toast.

Of course there have been no opportunities to work as an extra on his film, despite word that my casting agency is involved with the production. But then I realized… it’s a story about how all these people have vanished. Under the circumstances, there wouldn’t be much need for, um, peeps, would there? Unless they use flashbacks. Rooting for lots of flashbacks. In the meantime, I’ll have to soothe my yearnings tomorrow, catching any glimpses of Clive & Company doing their thing. If anything exciting happens, I’ll let you know.

Hey, are all you guys geeked for “V” tonight? I am a little worried about Hayden’s film. If this television show and FlashForward are similar in plot, will people be hyped about Vanishing or will they be like “been there, done that”?

UPDATE: Didn’t see Clive, but I managed to capture a photo of director David Schwimmer (Friends) without knowing it. See article (with better photo) in the University Record.

[03 November 2009]