Part 2 – Assorted Musings

 

Original Musings

Hayden's left eye

To Smoke or Not to Smoke

Hayden is reported to be a smoker. OK, he is a smoker. There’s photographic evidence to support it. This seems to be an issue of great import to his self-proclaimed harem… ahem, fan base, leading to much anxiety. So, how do I feel about this? I strongly believe that our Creator endowed us with free will and, therefore, the decisions we make, for good or bad, are ours to make. Likewise, the consequences of those decisions are to be accepted with humility. Given that I am unlikely to ever be directly affected by Hayden’s status as a smoker, he is free to engage in that filthy, disgusting, carcinogenic habit. Still, I could not completely clear my own conscience if I did not at least share this tidbit about a correlation between smoking and IQ:

Many smokers say one of the main benefits of their habit is a feeling of alertness and an increased ability to focus after lighting up. But smoking to improve mental proficiency may only be a quick fix. According to a new [2005] study led by [University of Michigan] researchers, long-term tobacco use in men is associated with a weakened thinking ability and lowered IQ.

The study did not find a causal relationship between smoking and lowered brain function [...] But the correlation — an unexpected finding from a study originally intended to examine the effects of long-term alcoholism on the brain — calls attention to the need for further research on the connection between smoking and brain function….

Here’s the kicker...

…researchers discovered that long-term smoking diminished the neurocognitive function and IQ of men, regardless of whether the men had alcohol problems. This impact was evident in many areas, such as short-term memory, verbal and mathematical reasoning and visual spatial processing.

Visual spatial processing?? Egad! Hayden, hon, this could drastically affect your future as a video gamer! What are you waiting for? Ditch those nasty cigs — pronto.

Seriously, though, Hayden’s career path puts him in constant proximity to smokers and cigarette smoke. Even if he wanted to kick the habit, it would take a ton of willpower. Therefore, I try not to judge him too harshly. It would have been better if he had never started, but it’s too late for that now.

Obsession

 

Like any hot-blooded woman, I have simply wanted an object to crave.
—Alanis Morissette

Am I obsessed with Mr. Christensen? Good question. I decided to go to the experts to find out…. Well, OK, it was an online quiz set up by an (I assume, but one should never assume) obsessed HaydenC fan. It takes one to know one, right? Well, it was a relief to learn that I am only 75% obsessed. See…

Angry Sam

You scored as You are obsessed! You are obsessed with Hayden Christensen, but that is not a bad thing. You will always read an article in a magazine or watch a movie that has him in it, but you do not breath and think about Hayden ALL the time... although you do understand the true meaning of the word HOT!

You are obsessed!
75%
No Way!
45%
You are confused.
35%

Are you in love with Hayden Christensen?
created with QuizFarm.com

I do not think about him 24/7. It’s more like 18/7, or maybe it’s 24/5.25 – phew! At least I have some free time to grab a few zzzzz’s and… hmm, well, not much else. OK, now I’m depressed. Seventy-five percent obsessed is not exactly “a good thing,” as Martha Stewart would say. Yeah, I realize this site is called Not Enough Hayden. Duh. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out the obvious.

Must. broaden. horizons.

Alright, I’ve put some thought into this “obsession” issue. This website is not the direct result of a Hayden-fixated individual so much as it is a creative outlet for expressing myself. Hayden just happens to be the focal point of my creativity. Ah yes, that’s it. Every writer needs a focal point. I could have picked something like bunny slippers, but mine is Hayden Christensen. Go figure.

Maple Leafs fan

Hockey, Hockey, Hockey

This must be what keeps me from totally obsessing over Hayden. I do not love the Toronto Maple Leafs although I might make an exception for #88. Go ahead, cut me down with a lightsaber. My allegiance is to the Detroit Red Wings. Steve Yzerman. Nicklas Lidstrom. Winners of three Stanley Cups in the past nine years (2002, 1998, 1997). The tradition of throwing octopi onto the ice. Can Toronto claim any of this? Nooooooo! The Leafs haven’t won a Stanley Cup during Hayden’s lifetime (the last was in 1967). But let me tell you something. Hayden salivates every time he hears the words “Stanley Cup champs.” He can taste it. So sorry, babe! Ain’t gonna happen this year.

Now, I know what you’re thinking. The Maple Leafs cleaned the Red Wings’ clock in the preseason. That was preseason (doesn’t count in the points) and they don’t play each other at all during the regular season in 2005-06.

Look, I’m never going to be a turncoat. It’s inbred. My mom loves the Wings. My grandmother loves the Wings. If my Canadian-born great-grandmother were alive, she’d probably root for the Red Wings.

Yet, here’s the irony. I don’t have cable or satellite TV. Due to my geographic locale, I can actually watch more Leafs’ games (on CBC) than I can the Red Wings.

I swear I can hear Hayden snickering.

Hayden’s Favorite Color/Music Group/Car, Etc.

I could keep track of this, but why bother? It’s just not a priority for moi.

OK, I’ll relent just a tad. These are the probing questions I wish they’d ask in Hayden’s interviews that would reveal far more about the man and his preferences. Here goes....

Sweet or dill?
Sundin or McCabe?
Blonde, brunette or redhead?
Chocolate or vanilla?
Lightsaber or the Force?
Daisy Lipenowski or Shelby Merrick?
Soup or salad? (why do I keep asking about food?)
Lando Calrissian or Joe Lando?
Ties or shootout rounds?
Clumsy or Gravity?
Manual or automatic transmission? Strike that, dumb question.
Sun or snow?
Jedi starfighter or swoop bike?

Hayden's hand - Helping Hands project

Actually, there is one of Hayden’s favorite things that I won’t joke about. His charitable causes. One of them is the Helping Hands for Child Abuse campaign, in partnership with the Children’s Aid Foundation, which is erecting a monument to survivors of child abuse. If you have a few spare bucks/toonies/quids, etc., make an online donation or follow the link for additional information.

Hayden in triplicate

Gayden?

Is Hayden gay? Yep, this is another nail-biter for the fan(atic)s. You should see the fur fly. Holy moly. Personally, I anguished over this for, oh, twenty-seven seconds. It’s a big yawner for me. These days, males and females alike lust after every handsome celebrity under the sun. Hayden is no exception. Elvis appealed to both sexes long before it was fashionable for half the planet to be gay. It’s a foregone conclusion that our Lord Vader and his stylish wardrobe hold an attraction for men as well as women, and the wenches (regardless of their gender) need to get over it. In my opinion, I think we should be glad that he has such wide-ranging appeal. Even if he were to announce his sexual orientation, would it matter? The same people who are so passionate about him would continue to pine away for him, regardless. The only person for whom it really matters is Hayden himself. I’m guessing he already knows the answer and is comfortable with it.

The Darth Vader In Me

Earlier, I broached the subject of my obsession quiz results. Well, there was a second quiz to find out which Revenge of the Sith character I am most like. I scored highest as Darth Vader.

Darth Vader

You scored as Darth Vader.

Darth Vader
69%
General Grievous
61%
R2-D2
53%
Mace Windu
50%
Padme Amidala
50%
Yoda
50%
Clone Trooper
47%
Obi Wan Kenobi
44%
Anakin Skywalker
42%
Chewbacca
28%
Emperor Palpatine
25%
C-3PO
22%

Which Revenge of the Sith Character are you?
created with QuizFarm.com

 

[ideology test - famous chart]

Now, this did not come as a complete surprise. I had taken an ideology test a while ago, which determined that I was a centrist. Yet, I was on the cusp of being a totalitarian (scary, huh?). Here’s the visual representation of how I scored (the circle marked ‘You’ shows where I fall ideologically compared to these famous/infamous individuals).

Note the black-masked Sith Lord lurking in the same (lower left) quadrant (cue the Evil Empire music).