Kurama's eyes reflected the moon like nothing he had ever seen, made the night seem mysterious and promising rather than dark and lonely. Those eyes had been troubled recently. Perhaps the fox thought he could fool everyone, but his eyes would always betray him. Hiei had caught him on more than one occasion, some weighty matter absorbing his attention, his eyes misted over with the emotion of his contemplations. He would shrug it off as nothing when he noticed his lover's regard, but he couldn't dismiss it entirely.
The youkai angled the blade so that his own grim expression glared back at him. If Kurama wanted to harbor secrets, that was his business--as long as he kept them to himself. However, Hiei had the sneaking suspicion that Kurama wouldn't remain silent much longer, that he would soon speak out about what concerned him, and then...
The mirror image scowl deepened. It had been a year since their unusual adventure in the land of Konan, a year since they had developed an intimate relationship. It had been the most frustrating, confusing, frightening, infuriating, and all-around enjoyable time of his life. And he had the sinking feeling it was about to come to an end.
The idea held his heart in its icy grip and wouldn't let go.
He had no rational reason for his belief, only a gut instinct. The problem didn't stem from the humans, for once. After a period of adjustment, they had come to accept him for what he was. Shiori had been shocked to learn of her son's true nature, but she had appreciated being entrusted with the knowledge, and in the end it made Kurama more content to be able to deal honestly with her. Nor were their friends the source of his uneasiness. With the exception of Yukina, they didn't even realize the two were involved, because the demons hadn't altered their public interaction.
It was simply that Kurama seemed restless of late. Nothing overt, nothing to put one's finger on, only a sense of growing dissatisfaction. That, combined with the evidence in his eyes, convinced Hiei that--despite adamant protests--the fox had become bored with him and was waiting for the appropriate moment to break the news.
The youkai sheathed his sword, unable to face himself. His feelings for that damn creature were so jumbled, he couldn't make heads or tails of the mess. He loved Kurama; now that he recognized it, he knew that would never change. However, mixed with that love was a range of other emotions, varying from severe annoyance to profound respect, and he wasn't prepared to examine them all. The best he could do was to remain steadfast and hope that he was mistaken, that his impressions were the products of his imagination, that he wasn't about to be shunted aside in favor of a shiny new toy.
He tilted his head so that the moonlight spilled across his features. "I trust you, Kurama," he murmured into the night.
He didn't know why he had come. He wasn't on business for Koenma. He didn't feel like training--or anything else of a physical nature. He should probably turn around and leave, before he got caught up in their routine. Yet something drew him, called him to be near Kurama, even if he had no purpose in mind. Eventually he gave up pondering the question and meandered out again.
He inevitably wound up entering his lover's room. Kurama looked up from the notebook in which he was writing and smiled. "I was hoping you'd visit," he said, putting his work away. "There's something I've been meaning to tell you...or, rather, ask you."
A chill that had nothing to do with temperature swept through the fire demon, but he pushed it aside. The fox was far too cheerful for it to be what he feared. "Oh?"
Kurama rose gracefully to his feet. "I would invite you out for a nice, romantic dinner, but I know how much you'd enjoy having to behave yourself around that many humans." Hiei rolled his eyes. "Besides, it can't beat my mother's cooking. So..." He took a deep breath, his demeanor suddenly showing signs of nervousness. "Walk with me?"
Hiei steeled himself. He could never predict Kurama's moods, could never tell when he was operating on unfathomable human standards. He agreed, however, not really having any other option. Kurama took him outside, informing his mother they'd return soon, and led him to a place where they could be alone, surrounded by the peace of nature instead of crowds of noisy people.
The redhead hugged himself against the cold. "I've been thinking about us," he began. "About what we are to each other."
"And?" Hiei prodded. If this did turn out to be the goodbye speech he dreaded, better to get it over with quickly.
Kurama stepped closer and ran his hands lightly up and down the other's bare arms. He had always liked touching, even if only for a fleeting moment. He claimed he was storing impressions while in his human form, memories resulting from the unique merging of his youkai soul with Shuuichi. Privately, Hiei thought the youko felt a thrill--rather like the satisfaction from a successful theft--when getting away with actions that would provoke instant retribution against anyone else. Based on that theory, he often put up a threatening front, virtually daring his fox to reward him with closer contact. It usually worked.
However, Kurama's next statement made him question whether his behavior had been a little too convincing. "Our relationship, as it is...it just isn't enough for me. I want more."
The youkai froze. He heard the words--he had been expecting them--but still he could hardly believe them. You *bastard*! the instinctive response rang in his mind, but he knew protesting would do him no good; the fox's fading interest had been inevitable. Nor could he bring himself to lash out physically and return the insult. He had taken this risk voluntarily because of his love for the youko, which wouldn't simply disappear when it was no longer convenient.
He could never, ever, intentionally harm the one he loved.
Kurama ceased his caresses and drew Hiei into an embrace, against which he was too stunned to struggle. Nani...?
"You're the other half of my soul," Kurama said softly. "I want to acknowledge that. I want us to belong to each other officially. I was hoping..." He broke off with a little laugh, suddenly aware of the youkai's tension, and backed away slightly. "I guess what I mean is," he continued, fighting to put the concept into words, "I want to marry you."
Hiei didn't know what to say, even if he could have started his voice working. Everything he had been thinking, everything he had been feeling, had just twisted upside-down. That last sentence repeated itself over and over in his head, until finally he managed to produce at least an echo of it. "*Marry* you?"
"Nothing elaborate," Kurama hastened to assure him, mistaking the cause of his confusion. "I thought perhaps a small ceremony for just the two of us, to celebrate our union. A formal exchange of vows and tokens of our commitment." He paused, concerned by his lover's lack of response. "But if you don't want to, I understand. I wouldn't force you--"
Hiei reached up and put a hand over his mouth. The large, green eyes blinked at him. Twice. When he was certain the fox would be quiet so that he could think, he removed his hand and frowned. Kurama wasn't going to leave him?--had not, in fact, entertained anything even remotely resembling the notion?
How could he answer?
Despite the human terminology the fox employed, such a bonding ceremony was not unknown among youkai. Because of its permanence, it required a high level of mutual trust for the long-lived beings--and was therefore quite rare and greatly respected. Between warriors, it signaled an unbreakable alliance. Between lovers...
He wanted to find something to smash to pieces, to burn to the ground, to slice into ribbons--anything to rid himself of the curious tingling energy building up in him the longer he considered the proposal. To be asked to share Kurama's life, not merely his bed? Who in his right mind could even contemplate turning down such an offer?
He sighed. "You must have been the most idiotic fox in all the Makai," he muttered, noticing the redhead's shiver at the icy fingers of wind that trailed across his skin. The fire demon spread his hands. "Didn't I promise I would always keep you warm?"
With a smile that shamed even the most beautiful of his roses, Kurama leaned into the circle of his lover's arms. "Thank you," he whispered, bending down to rub his nose against the white star pattern in the black hair.
Hiei pushed him away--but not too roughly. "Knock it off," he protested.
Kurama only laughed. "Come on, let's go eat. I'm sure Mother made enough for you, too."
The youkai strode alongside him, wondering why he bothered. As silent compensation for his earlier doubts? He knew Kurama would appreciate his company at the family meal, so he would put up with it...this once.
He told himself he didn't feel guilty. Yes, he had thought the worst of his crazy, unpredictable lover, and his paranoia had proven to be unfounded. He had to be honest about his emotions, and the truth was that he had felt betrayed. He couldn't apologize for that. What mattered was that he had not reacted in response to his doubts. He firmly maintained that *actions* counted--far more than superficial musings kept locked in his head.
Still... He regarded the redhead. He knew it would hurt Kurama to know that he had entertained suspicions of the other's disloyalty, as much as it had pained him to think them. Better for them both if the fox never found out.
"'Kaasan," he began, introducing the subject slowly, "I want to thank you for making Hiei welcome here. I know he's not the easiest person to get along with."
She smiled at him. "All it takes is understanding. It's the least I can do for someone so close to you."
"You know...you know how much he means to me. How we feel about each other."
She paused in her work, picking up on the seriousness in his voice. "I know you love him," she said slowly. "I know he brightens your life--as paradoxical as that may seem from one whose own life is so dark."
"He makes me whole. It's as simple as that." He chuckled slightly. "Or as complicated as that; I've never been able to figure it out. But I've reached a decision about him that I've been debating with myself for some time."
He had her full attention now, the dishes forgotten. "Oh?"
"You've been able to accept him as a guest..." He swallowed a twinge of anxiety. It might be ridiculous for a youko his age, but he couldn't help desiring her approval. "Can you accept him as a son?"
She studied his face for a few moments, divining his sincerity. Finally she asked, "You care about him that much?"
"I do," he answered readily. "I really do."
She let out her breath in an explosive sigh. "Oh, Shuuichi. You've grown up so quickly." Her warm eyes glimmered with tears, but they didn't spill. "I suppose that shouldn't surprise me anymore, but somewhere deep in my heart you'll always be my baby boy. I can't say this is the path I would have planned for you," she shrugged, "but that doesn't matter. You have to make your own choices, and it sounds like you have given this a great deal of thought."
"Believe me," he put in, amusement coloring his tone, "I have a pretty good idea what eternity could be like. I wouldn't make such a promise lightly."
"Then you have found something too few people ever do. Treasure it."
"And you don't mind? That I've betrothed myself to him?"
"I *would*," she admitted, "...if I couldn't see how good he is for you. I'm concerned only about your welfare. I will *always* want what is best for you. In this case, that means Hiei-kun."
A grin tugged at the corner of his mouth. "Thank you." Having her blessing made the occasion truly perfect.
He traced a finger along the muscular arm against which he rested. People often considered the little devil to be uncommunicative, but his body language spoke volumes. Kurama had been worried that the commitment he desired would seem too restricting for the free-spirited fire demon. ...But I pleased you today, didn't I? More than you'd ever admit aloud.
His lips followed the path of his finger, trailing lazy kisses down to the crook of the elbow, where he paused to lick the tender skin. He could never get enough of his lover's taste, its dark sweetness accented by a hint of salt from his exertion.
Hiei pulled away slightly and brushed at the tickle. "If you're going to keep squirming," he declared, "I can find somewhere else to sleep."
Kurama, reading that as a challenge, held tightly to his arm. "Oh, no you don't! You are going to stay right here and suffer my squirming, because you love me and want to make me happy." He batted his eyes, knowing that he was being annoying, betting that his lover would put up with it, under the circumstances.
The youkai snorted and pushed at the confining hands but couldn't dislodge the fox's grip. "You're dreaming," he growled, too tired and relaxed to be truly upset.
Kurama sighed deeply and released him. "Yes..." he agreed, pulling the black quilt up to his chin, "...and it's the best dream I've ever had." With that, he surrendered to his satisfied fatigue and, lulled by his lover's soft breathing, sank into sleep.
He awoke the next morning pleasantly surprised to find Hiei still beside him. The little youkai had rolled over onto his stomach, his hands curled up close to his body, the quilt puddled at the base of his spine. Kurama took a moment to admire the view, made all the more tempting by his intimate knowledge of exactly how sensitive the exposed area was to his slightest touch. Finally unable to resist any longer, he pressed his lips against the skin between the shoulderblades. "Morning, love," he murmured.
Hiei roused, propping himself up on his forearms, arching his back. Kurama longed to stroke the inviting curve, but that would lead to other things, which--though enjoyable--he didn't have time for. With a groan of reluctance, he forced himself out from under the covers, reaching for his robe. Hiei hadn't gotten up when he returned from the bathroom, though he had moved to a sitting position, the better to watch his fox as he dressed.
After adjusting his school uniform to his satisfaction, Kurama knelt by the silent observer and shook his head in mock despair. "Why do you have to be so sexy in the morning?" he complained.
Hiei picked off a long, red hair that had draped itself around his neck. "Why do you have to shed all over me?" he shot back.
"Oh, but the color suits you!" Kurama smiled and leaned forward to plant a sloppy kiss on the tip of the youkai's nose. "See you after school? We have a lot to discuss."
"Like what?"
"Like..." He playfully traced a circle around his lover's navel, just above the fold of black silk. "What day do we want to hold the ceremony? Where shall we have it? What tokens will we choose?"
Hiei lay back, crossing his arms behind his head. "Whatever."
Kurama walked his fingers up the conveniently bare chest. He knew the youkai was interested, or he would have left by now. "After school," he repeated. He didn't want to pull away, but his mother would worry if he took much longer before coming to breakfast. He finished by brushing a knuckle ever so lightly across his lover's mouth. "And then..."
Hiei's tongue darted out to lick the offending digit, making the redhead shiver. "Then maybe you'll stop being so irritating?" he grumbled.
Whom do you think you're fooling?
Hiei waited while Yukina ran up to him, beaming. She was always pleased to see him, which confused him almost as much as the fox did. "Yukina," he greeted her simply.
"You look well, Hiei-oniisan. How have things been going for you?"
The harsh line of his mouth softened. "I..." He wanted to tell her, to share his life's latest development with her, but it didn't seem real in his own mind yet. He had puzzled over it well into the night, long after his lover had settled into sleep, secure in his presence. The redhead's last mumbled words had encapsulated his feelings exactly. A dream. That's what this all seemed, a perfect dream.
And just as fragile... He did his best to banish the thought.
After Kurama had left for school, he had stared, mesmerized, at the pattern on the quilt that had been a gift from the Suzaku Seishi: a fox embraced by fire, the two inseparable. Kurama brought it out every time he spent the night. It had become a symbol of their love, their need for each other.
Now they were to be joined for all time--like that vivid depiction--with ties of their own making, ties of friendship and devotion. Strangely, despite his hatred of captivity, he found the idea of their permanent union vastly preferable to the alternative. He was already bound, he realized, and had been since the moment he allowed the fox into his heart. The formal vows would serve to cement their incomplete souls into one.
It was a concept so frighteningly wonderful he couldn't believe it was happening to someone like him.
"Yes?" she encouraged him to continue.
He ought to spit it out, he told himself. Mucking about making polite conversation wasn't his nature. "Kurama and I are going to hold a bonding ceremony. I thought you should know."
Her eyes widened as she absorbed the news, and she clapped her hands together. "Oh, I'm so happy for you, Oniisan!" She was. Her face shone with the emotion for anyone to see. He couldn't help melting a little every time she smiled at him that way. "Do you know when?"
He shook his head. "Haven't decided." He figured Kurama wouldn't have asked if he didn't already have something in mind. As far as Hiei was concerned, one day was as good as another. Only a single detail about the ceremony's execution mattered to him, and he strongly doubted the youko would object.
"You will tell me all about it afterward, won't you?"
"If you want." He knew he would do anything she asked of him.
For the next few minutes, he listened to his sister chat enthusiastically about the New Year's party Keiko was planning for everyone. It was supposedly Yuusuke's idea and would be held at his home, but the girl had taken over the arrangements, claiming that he had no head for such business and--were it left up to him--they would all wind up with nothing to eat but popcorn. Hiei had heard about the party but hadn't paid much attention, since he had no desire to sit around and watch the group of them welcome in the new year, probably in a noisy and unremittingly cheerful fashion.
After the visit ended, he returned in plenty of time to be present when Kurama's school released its students. He shadowed his lover until there would be little chance of interruption from bothersome classmates, then ventured into the open and walked alongside him in expectant silence.
"You came," the redhead observed, glancing down.
"Of course I did," Hiei responded acidly. As though he had anything else in his life more important than this. Did Kurama think he would forget? Or was it the fox's idea of humor? "So talk."
His lover complied easily, perhaps understanding his impatience. "I want us to decide on the specifics of the ceremony together. It should hold meaning for both of us."
The youkai shrugged. "Fine. You pick the time and prepare the location. I'll handle the rest." That division of effort would provide him with the freedom to manage the one aspect he cared to determine.
Kurama showed a flash of surprise at the quick reply. "That's not exactly what I had in mind, but okay," he agreed after a moment of hesitation. "I was going to suggest having it on Christmas night, if that's not too soon for you. It's the perfect occasion to give of ourselves, and we can start the new year with our new relationship."
Hiei knew it would be tricky to acquire what he needed on such short notice, but he had named the terms of the deal, so he should stick to them. Besides, sooner was better than later. They might anticipate living for centuries, but with the risks they took, one could never predict when a battle would turn against them or a trap would catch them unawares.
He halted in the middle of the sidewalk, unprepared for the turn his thoughts had taken. Kurama stopped as soon as he noticed and looked at him questioningly. "If you'd rather a different day--" he began.
"'S not that." He continued to stare at the fox, *his* fox, until suddenly he grinned his defiance at an unpredictable universe and gathered a fistful of the school uniform. He could feel Kurama's chest against his hand, reassuringly solid, the heartbeat strong. *This* is real, here and now. Yume ja nai. No one, no force in the three worlds, could take this away from him. He dared anything to try.
"Hiei...?"
"Your holiday is fine." He released his grip on the fabric. "I've got things to do. I'll see you later."
"Tonight?" Did he detect a hopeful note in the redhead's voice?
"Possibly." With that, he left his bemused lover and went to create the symbol of their future.