[Back to Scene 9]

[Scene: In the Pit of Carkoon. Anakin is strapped to a table, in front of a Large machine that consists of a waterwheel, levers, pumps etc. A Gungan is tending to Anakin's wounds]

Anakin: Where am I?

Jar-Jar:The Pit of Carkoon. Don't even tink-[He yelps in surprise as he accidentally puts his head through an exposed energy conduit.] My thongue dothen't wortk...my thongue- cough, gasp! [He shakes his head a few times and continues in a normal voice] Don't yousa even tink about tryin's tosa escape. Da chainsa bein' far too thicksy. And don't yousa dream of being rescued, neither. Da only way in be secret, and only da Senator, da Lord Maul, and meesa knows how ta get in and out.

Anakin: Then I'm here till I die?

Jar-Jar: Till theysa kills you, yah.

Anakin: Then why bother curing me?

Jar-Jar: [sighs] Da Senator and da Lord, deys always insist on everyones bein' healthy before dey'sa broken.

Anakin: So it's to be torture then? [Jar-Jar nods head, ears flapping] I can cope with torture [Jar-Jar shakes head, ears hitting him in the eyes] Don't believe me?

Jar-Jar: Yousa survived da bombad fire swamp, yousa must be very brave, butsa nobody withstands Da Machine.

[Scene: In the palace, Senator Palpatine watches a melancholy Amidala] Palpatine: She's been like that ever since the fire swamp. It's the Chancellor's weakening position that's upsetting her.

Lord Maul: Of course, my Master.*

[Scene: Theed Palace Square. Palpatine addresses the crowd from the balcony]

Ben Kenobi: "The Chancellor resigned that very night, and before the following dawn, Amidala and Palpatine were married. And at noon she met her subjects again, this time as the Chancellor's wife.

Palpatine:My predecessor's final words were:--- Luke: Hold it, hold it, Ben. Y-you read that wrong. She doesn't marry Palpatine, she married Anakin. I'm just sure of it. After all that Anakin did for her, if she didn't marry him, it wouldn't be fair.

Ben Kenobi: Well, who says life is fair? Where is that written? Life isn't always fair.

Luke: I'm telling you, you're messing up the story, now get it right!

Ben Kenobi: Do you want me to go on with this?

Luke: Yes.

Ben Kenobi: All right, then. No more interruptions. "At noon she met her subjects again, this time as their queen." Palpatine:My father's final words were: "Love her as I loved her and there will be joy." I present to you the First Lady, Queen Amidala!
[Amidala appears.]

Ancient Booer: Boo! Boo! Boo!
[The Booer moves to the front of the crowd]

Amidala: Why do you do this?

Ancient Booer: Because you had love in your hands, and you gave it up.

Amidala: But they would have killed Anakin if I hadn't done it.

Ancient Booer: Your true love lives! And you marry another. True Love saved her in the fire swamp, and she treated it like garbage. And that's what she is, the queen of refuse. So bow down to her if you want, bow to her. I don't care what you smell! Bow to the queen of slime, the queen of filth, the queen of putrescence. Boo! Boo! Rubbish! Filth! Slime! Muck! Boo! Boo! Boo!

[Amidala awakens, gasping and sweating.]

[Scene: Palpatine's Office]

Ben Kenobi: "It was ten days till the wedding. The Chancellor still ruled, but Amidala's nightmares were growing steadily worse."

Luke: See? Didn't I tell you she'd never marry that rotten Palpatine?

Ben Kenobi: Yes, you're very smart. Shut up.
[Just for good measure, Ben hits Luke with a Jedi mind trick.]

Amidala: If it comes to this. I love Anakin. I always have. I know now I always will. If you tell me I must marry you in ten days, please believe I will be dead by morning.

Palpatine: I could never cause you grief. Consider our wedding off. [to Maul] You, uh, returned this Anakin to his ship?

Lord Maul: Yes.

Palpatine: Then we will simply alert him. Beloved, are you certain he still wants you? After all, it was you who did the leaving in the fire swamp. Not to mention that Sith Lords are not known to be men of their words.

Amidala: My Anakin will always come for me.

Palpatine: I suggest a deal. You write four copies of a letter. I'll send my four fastest ships, one in each direction. The Sith Lord Vader is always close to Naboo this time of year. We'll run up the white flag and deliver your message. If Anakin wants you, bless you both. If not, please consider me as an alternative to suicide. Are we agreed?

Amidala: [nods head]

[Amidala leaves. Segue to forest scene.]

Lord Maul: [later] Your Queen Amidala is really quite a winning creature, Master. A trifle simple, perhaps, but her appeal is undeniable.

Palpatine: Oh, I know, the people are quite taken with her. It's odd, but when I hired Nute Gunray to have her murdered on our engagement day, I thought that was clever. But it's going to be so much more moving when I strangle her on our wedding night. Once the Trade Federation is blamed, the planet will be truly outraged. They'll demand we go to war and will give me complete control.

[Scene: Forested area. Large trees. Maul is searching a tree trunk]

Lord Maul: Hmmm. Now where is that secret knot? It's impossible to find. Hah! Are you coming down into the Pit? Anakin's got his strength back. I'm starting him on the Machine tonight.

Palpatine: Maul, you know how much I love watching you work, but I've got the Senate's 500th anniversary to plan, my wedding to arrange, my wife to murder, and the Trade Federation to frame for it. I'm swamped!

Lord Maul: Get some rest. If you haven't got your health, you haven't got anything.

[Go to Scene 11]

[Go to the Index]

["My thongue dothen't wortkh..." Pathetic Lifeform, Exhibit A.]

*Editor's Note: If there is one thing a Sith Master truly hates, it's a wiseguy apprentice. This is frequently true with Jedi Masters as well. Jedi Masters, however, are trained to control their violent and aggressive emotions so Padawan can often get away with being sarcastic jesters. For the Sith, on the other hand, the need to release one's anger and let the hate flow through oneself tends to be rather detrimental to the Apprentice, who is frequently the closest target as well as the source of the hatred. This is the reason Lord Maul's reply is "Of course, my Master," as opposed to what he was thinking: "Yeah, right."

["Why do you do this?" Amidala asked the old woman...]

[Ben believes using the Jedi Mind Trick as often as possible.]

[Maul gives his two deci-credits on Amidala-a winning creature]