What Is Hoof and Mouth?
Hoof and Mouth is a card game.
It's a variant on canasta (and if you don't know what canasta is,
don't worry).
It's very much a social card game,
in that it leaves plenty of brain cells left over to
heckle your opponents, drop blatant hints to your partner,
and drink lots of beer and wine before your playing skills degrade.
If you're looking for intense intellectual effort, go play bridge.
And don't call me.
Hoof and mouth has all the features that make for a good social game:
We've successfully taught it to kids as young as eight, and computer
programmers pick it up in seconds but still enjoy it.
It's the official card game of the
Dorsai Irregulars,
and from them is
beginning to make inroads into the computing community.
It's also occasionally called Hand and Foot.
Quick Overview
The game is very simple.
There are four players who play as two teams of two.
It also requires four standard playing decks, including jokers.
Yes, there are 216 cards in the game.
You always sit opposite your partner.
You are dealt two sets of 11 cards.
You choose one and look at it; this becomes your hand.
The other you leave face-down in front of you;
this is your hoof.
The remaining undealt cards are divided roughly evenly and
placed face down in the center of the table with a gap between them.
These we call the stacks.
Discarded cards are placed face up between the two stacks,
and this is called the pile.
You play by drawing two cards, one from each stack.
You place them in your hand,
and then discard any card from your hand into the pile.
Periodically you may be able to play cards from your hand onto the table.
The point of this play is to get rid of all the cards in your hand.
When you do this, you can then pick up your hoof
and start playing the cards in it.
When someone has the right cards on the table and and has gotten rid of
his entire hoof, the round is over and everyone counts points and gloats.
A game consists of four rounds.
Whichever team has more points at the end of four rounds wins.
Of course, things are somewhat more complicated than that....
Dealing
Because of the use of four decks, dealing and shuffling can
be a pain.
Here's how we do it:
Each player takes roughly one quarter of the cards and shuffles them
a few times.
Then each player takes half the cards they have and gives them to
the player to their left.
Assuming everyone is in sync,
this means you are receiving cards from the player to your right
just as you give away cards.
You then shuffle all those cards together.
This is repeated 3 or 4 times, or until you all feel comfortable that
the cards are sufficiently mixed.
Note there is nothing sacred about any of this.
If you've got a mechanical shuffler, fine.
If three of you shuffle all the cards while the fourth refills
the beer, that's fine too.
Whatever makes you comfortable with the shuffle is OK by me.
Once the cards are all shuffled, the dealing starts.
Each player deals out two sets of 11 cards and gives both sets
face down to the player to the left.
Once all four players have received their two sets, all the remaining
cards are placed in the two stacks in the center of the table.
Leave enough space between the two stacks to form the discard pile.
Pick up one of your two sets of eleven and place the other aside as your
hoof. You're now ready to begin play.
Order Of Play
One person is chosen to start.
We select based on something silly, such as age.
When it is your turn to play, you select one card from each of the two
stacks in the center.
Once you touch a card from either stack or the discard pile,
your play has begun.
You place these cards in your hand and mull it over.
You select the least useful card from your hand and discard it by
placing it on the discard pile face up between the two center stacks.
Once the discard hits the pile, your play is over.
Play moves clockwise around the table.
Once the round is over, cards are shuffled and
dealt again.
With each new round, the person who goes first also rotates
clockwise.
Thus after four rounds,
all four players have gone first once.
The Value of Cards
Every card has a point value.
These values are selected to make adding up the points easy.
Jokers are 50 points.
Aces and deuces are 20 points.
Kings through nines are ten points.
Eights through fours are five points.
Black threes are zero points.
Red threes are 500 points.
Books
Obviously with every round you're adding one card to your hand.
There must be some way of getting rid of them, right?
Yes - by opening books.
An open book is a set of three to six cards of the same number
(three fives, three jacks, whatever).
Once you are holding enough books in your hand to open
(we'll define `enough' in a minute)
you lay your books down on the table face up.
We call laying down a set of three (or more) opening a book.
Thus if you lay down three jacks, you've opened a book of jacks.
Twos and jokers are wild cards, and are very useful in starting
books (but there are reasons not to, as we'll see soon).
However, you must always have more natural cards than wild cards in
a book.
For example, three queens and a wild are OK, three queens and two wild
are OK, but three queens and three wilds are not.
You cannot make a book of wild cards, nor can you make
a book of threes.
Threes are special in other ways too, as we'll see in a minute.
A book with wild cards is called a dirty book,
a book without wild cards is called a clean book.
Once books are on the table, play changes somewhat.
If you or your partner has opened, once you draw your two cards
you may add cards to any open books you or your partner have on
the table.
Typically one partner keeps all the cards for both in front of him.
It's a good idea to have the neater partner keep the cards.
While the books are open on the table, they should be cascaded much like
playing solitaire.
This lets everyone see how many cards are in each book and if the books
are clean or dirty.
After a book is opened, you can add more of the same to it or add wild
cards to it.
However, once there are seven cards in the book it is closed.
To signify closed books you stack them up straight rather than cascade
them.
If the book is clean, you place a red card on top.
If dirty, place a black card on top.
You get points for closing books.
Clean books are 500 points, dirty books are 300 points.
Once a book is closed, you can no longer add wild cards to it.
But you can add natural cards.
Opening
You can't simply start laying cards down as soon as you get the
minimum for a book.
You must have at least 50 points in cards to lay down.
Thus a book of three queens (10 points each) and three sixes
(5 points each) is only 45 points, not enough to lay down.
But if you have a fourth six it makes 50 and you're OK.
Or it you have three queens, two sixes and a deuce (20 pts)
you have clean queens (10+10+10) for 30 points and dirty sixes
(5+5+20)
for 40 points, for a grand total of 70 points.
Obviously you can open with more than 50,
but 50 is the minimum.
But that's only for the first round.
On the second round, you must have 90 to open.
The third requires 120, and the last requires 150.
Playing Once You're Open...
Once you've successfully opened, you and your partners' first goal is
to `get into your hoof,' or pick up that second group of eleven cards
and start playing it.
So on each pass, you draw your two cards,
lay down what you feel is appropriate, and discard one.
This continues until you have no cards.
The exact way you get rid of that last card is important.
If you get rid of it by discarding it, your play is over
and you start playing from your hoof once play gets around
to you again (and yes, you will have to draw two cards from the stacks).
But if you are lucky or skillful enough to draw your two cards and
play everything in your hand onto your books,
you pick up your hoof and continue playing.
The rationale here is that since you've not discarded,
your play isn't over.
Buying
There's one special thing we haven't talked about.
Suppose the player ahead of you discards a ten
and you have two tens in your hand.
You'd love to pick up that ten and make a book, right?
Well, you can.
We call this buying a card - but there are some gotchas.
When you buy a card, you do not pick two cards off the stacks.
Once you've successfully used the card you bought and are open,
you complete your play by taking the next six cards on top of the discard
pile.
You must take those six cards.
Since you haven't discarded a card yet, it's still your play.
So if any of these cards can be used to make or add to your books,
you may do so.
Once done, you discard a card from your hand and your play is over.
Threes Are Special
At this point you're probably thinking that those 500-point red threes are
pretty special.
They are, but not in the way you're thinking.
You are not allowed to make books of threes.
Thus the only way to get threes out of your hand is
by discarding them.
This is an important strategic point in many ways.
Threes being special is a major part of what makes the game interesting.
Going Out
The round is over when one person has gotten rid of everything
including hand, hoof, and drawn cards.
However, you are not allowed to do this until you have
at least two clean books closed and at least two dirty books closed.
If you don't, you must continue to hold at least one card in your
hand.
Play continues until one team or the other has two clean books,
two dirty books, and one of the two team members can get rid of
all his cards.
Before going out, you must ritually ask for your partners' permission.
If you don't there is no penalty, but rather like the case of an
improper buy you will suffer humiliation in the face of your peers.
Deeply personal razzing is encouraged.
Adding Up The Score
Your score for a round is the total value from closed books,
plus the total value from the individual cards, less the total
value of cards still in your hand and (if you didn't get into it)
your hoof.
An example will help here.
Let's say you closed with clean aces (seven),
dirty queens (five queens, two twos, one joker),
clean eights (nine of them),
and an open dirty book of fives (four fives, two twos).
Your points from closed books are 500 for the clean aces,
500 for the clean eights, and 300 for the dirty queens.
Thus the value of your closed books is 1300 points.
Now we count the value of the individual cards,
both in open and closed books.
Jokers are 50 points.
Aces and deuces are 20 points.
Kings through nines are ten points.
Eights through fours are five points.
Black threes are zero points.
Red threes are 500 points.
Your seven aces and four twos are
20 points each (180), your five queens are 10 points each (50), your one
joker is 50 points, and your nine eights and four fives are 5 points
each (85).
The total card value 180 + 50 + 50 + 85, or 365.
Added to the book value, we get 1665 points.
Now we subtract the point value of what you have left in your hand and
your hoof.
If we had one queen and two fours, we would subtract 20 points.
If we had one queen and one red three, we would subtract 510 points.
You now see the value of trying to go out before the other teams gets
into their hooves!
A typical scorecard looks like this:
Us Them
1300 2300 closed books
+365 +560 points in books
----- -----
1665 2860
-510 -20 points in hands
----- -----
1655 2840 total
This is of course only one round; you'll have three more before
reaching the end of the game.
Table Talk
Most card games forbid you to talk over strategy with your partner.
We're a little sloppier than that. By our convention, you can
Some Strategy Notes
In no particular order of usefulness:
Frequently Asked Questions
What if I buy and there aren't six cards in the discard pile?
Then you take all the cards that are there, and that's that.
Suppose I want to buy a card and we already have a book of that
number?
No problem, provided of course you have two more of those cards in
your hand.
Just add the resulting three cards to that book.
Can I start a second book of the same thing?
Yes, provided that (a) the first book is closed and (b) you have three
cards to start the new book. If the first book is not closed,
you cannot start a second book of the same.
Why would I want to?
Points, should you manage to close the second book.
It's certainly possible to have two closed books of the same
number, and does occasionally happen.
Two 300-point 7-card books are much more useful than one 300-point 14-card
book.
When I buy, do I have to show the other six cards to the other players?
No, but some players (like my wife) would consider you a hard-nosed
competitive asshole. I can live with that, but your mileage may vary.
Can I go out even if my partner says no?
Yes, but some players would consider you a hard-nosed
competitive asshole. I can live with that, but your mileage may vary.
Can I go out even if my partner says no and my partner hasn't gotten into
his hoof?
Yes, but some players would consider you . . .
well, you get the picture.
Do you have to lay down all your books immediately?
Nope. If you've got some sneaky reason, you can hold back.
See the next two questions.
Do you have to lay down all cards which can go with your partners'
immediately?
Nope. If your partner lays down a book of tens and you've got a pair
of tens, you might hold them back in hopes your opponent will discard
a ten you can buy.
Doesn't holding back cards or books from your partner deprive them of
the data they need to play?
Yes. This is part of what makes it a game of skill - knowing what to hold
when, what the potential benefit is, and balancing that against the loss
to your partners' ability to play.
Note too that it also deprives your opponents of information.
Can I discard a card which I could have played on a book?
Yes, this often is required near the end of the game while you're
`killing time' waiting for the card you need to go out.
Can I discard a wild card?
Sure. Sometimes it's even the right thing to do.
Can I buy a wild card someone else has discarded?
No, because the rules require that to buy you must have two other
cards of the same number and those three cards must immediately
start a new book or play onto an existing book of the same number.
Wild cards are not a number.
Can I open with a closed book and count it as 300 (or 500) points??
Yes. If you can accumulate four fours and three twos,
that's 20 points for the fours, 60 points for the twos,
and 300 points for the dirty book.
That's sufficient to open.
What if we run out of cards to draw?
Extremely rare, but it happens.
Take the cards in the discard pile, shuffle them, divide into two
stacks, and they're your new stacks.
Can you use more or less than four players?
In theory, yes.
In practice . . . well, as Peter Salus says ``The gap between theory
and practice is always wider in practice than in theory.''
Some people enjoy it, some don't.
Variations attempted include:
Add another deck or two of cards and play in two teams of three.
This wound up with whatever team went down first going out in
very short order.
Add another deck or two of cards and play in three teams of two.
This almost always winds up with one team going out before one of
the others has even gotten down.
So it's possible to play in groups of six, but the
rules might need some tweaking.
Groups of three can play, but the game loses its social flavor.
Five and seven are right out.
Thanks are due to Ellen McMicking and Colin Lamb for
advice on the writing of this page.
Special thanks to Wes Plouff, who tightened up my terminology
tremendously.
Back to Steve's home page.
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