Session 32: "I'm crushing your head!"

	Sandr hears something funny from Cameron's Trump.  His amulet says
it's a demon.  Natch.  Sandr figures he can only die once and activates
the Trump.  The demon says he would have tasted like shit, anyway. 
Cameron answers and complies with Sandr's plea to pull him through. 
Apparently Trumps work from the labyrinth now.  Sylvie screams when Sandr
comes through and Cameron tosses him to the floor.  Sandr sees a face on
the ceiling and a griffin in front of the door.  No one else sees this, of
course.  They think he's nuts.  The griffin's brain explodes and covers
Sandr with burning ichor.  Cameron says he's had enough and hits Sandr on
the back of his neck.  Sandr nearly bites through his tongue.  Man, does
he ever have bad stuff.  Cameron tosses him out of the room.

	Sandr gets to his feet, tosses the ring somewhere in the hall, and
shuffles forlornly down to breakfast.  Cameron follows soon afterwards,
after instructing Sylvie to wait a bit, since Ulysses would be unhappy if
they arrived at breakfast together.  She shifts back to her twelve-year
old form, so as not to blow Ulysses' mind.  Cameron finds the Sandr-
remover ring and pockets it for a rainy day.

	Merlin stops by Sky's room to see how she's doing, and quickly
wishes he hadn't.  She berates him about Shandril until he is properly
cowed.  His excuse that Benedict recommended Shandril does not protect
him.  He meekly follows her down to breakfast like a good boy.

	Hewitt runs away from the breakfast table, inspiring fear in many. 
Melanie asks what the hell it is, and is told it came from Dworkin.  All
the more reason to fear it.  Melanie and Archi suggest Ulysses follow it. 
He does, and it's most miffed at him for doing so.  It tells him it's
looking for cookies.  Or Dworkin.  Whichever it finds first.  Melanie and
Archi decide they want no part of this.

	Ulysses receives word that Beauty's about to drop the ball, er,
baby.  He goes to her room and is not thrilled by the tech level. 
Laughter offers little help.  Ulysses tries to think of someone else who
might be knowledgeable in these things and hits upon Sylvie.  She's raised
all those cats, after all.  That's close to humans, right?  He Trumps
Sylvie and brings her through from breakfast, after first tossing a rubber
hand at her.  Those at breakfast are unimpressed.  Sylvie is inclined to
let things ride until something goes wrong.  She and Laughter depart,
leaving Ulysses alone with Beauty, who has a death grip on his hand. 
Sylvie notices Cameron making like a wall outside the room and comments
that she knows it's him.  Mustn't let the boy get too cocky.

	Ulysses realizes that Beauty will break his hand at this rate, so
he tries to calm her psychically.  She notices this and tells him to
leave.  He ignores her, figuring there's not much she can do about it at
this point.  Sylvie returns and comments that she still knows Cameron's
there.  Then she enters the room and tells Ulysses that the walls have
ears.  The wall grumbles.

	Sky spends some time talking to her father, and confirms that he
is, indeed, an idiot.  He met Dworkin at one point, but it's unclear why
Dworkin was wasting time on him.

	Sandr and Melanie leave breakfast.  Sandr thinks Melanie has
snakes for her hair but wisely opts to say nothing.  Instead, he mopes and
Melanie yells at him for doing so.  She asks what he wanted to talk to her
about.  He wants someplace private, so she takes him to Ygg.  The lands
around Ygg are wasted.  Sandr is surprised, but Melanie seems to have seen
this before.  She casts a spell to prevent anyone from hearing them. 
Sandr spills the whole, sad story about his adventures under Kolvir and
what he learned there.  Sandr wants to find someone to remove the band
preventing him from accessing the Pattern.  Does Sandr think of asking
Mandor, who owes him a favor?  Nah.  He settles on Tianen instead. 
Melanie points out that Tianen will want something in exchange.  Sandr
figures his soul will do.  Someone, please smack this boy.  Fortunately,
he doesn't have Tianen's Trump, and Melanie doesn't volunteer hers.  Sandr
wants to borrow Ulysses', but he doesn't answer his Trump.  Smart boy. 
They try Archi next, and catch him trying to use Song like a katana.  Both
Melanie and Sandr note that he's shirtless as he pulls them through. 
Sandr gawks.  Melanie suggests Sandr get some sleep.  He'd rather watch
the shirtless Archi, but leaves anyway.

	Ulysses asks Sylvie to help him talk to Tianen.  He wants her to
check the Logrus for the missing Amberites.  Sylvie is miffed, but agrees
to pass along the message.  She also mentions that Tianen is probably
going after the Atherton throne, since it's got to be easier than the
Amber one.

	Caine Trumps Cameron looking for help in changing his form.  He
asks Cameron to come through with his little friend.  She's rather
preoccupied, but Cameron extends a foot and comes through with a loud
sucking sound.  Caine is unimpressed.  He tells Cameron to slap Rhiannon
for him.  He figured out the ruse and killed the Shadow of her.  Some
people just can't take a joke.  He'd also like a duplicate of Gˇrard, if
Cameron stumbles across one.  So he can sneak the real Gˇrard out of the
dungeon.  Oh, and he'd like Cameron to watch his baby brother for a while. 
And here I thought Caine was supposed to be the smart one.  Cameron
decides to use his little bro. to set Sandr up.  It's not like Rhiannon
wants the thing.

	Sky decides that maybe learning how to use a sword would be a good
idea, so she starts taking lessons.

	Sandr finds a red-haired baby in front of his door with a note
from the mother saying she couldn't care for it.  He stares at it in
confusion for a while, then brings it down to Melanie, who is still
watching Archi work out.  She doesn't recognize the handwriting on the
note, and neither does Archi.  Sandr wanders off in search of a wet nurse. 
Archi suggests that leaving Sandr with a baby is bad, so Melanie goes in
search of him.  Sandr is directed to Laughter who finds a wet nurse. 
Melanie Trumps Sandr and joins him.  Neither Laughter nor Ulysses have any
idea who the baby's parents are, and no one cares much, either.

	Hewitt returns just as Beauty hits critical mass and delivers a
daughter.  She foolishly leaves the name up to Ulysses.  Ulysses throws
away his chance to change the future he saw and names the baby Oriana.

	Sandr goes to bed, only to find the bedposts staring at him.  He
looks for another bed, to no avail.  Luckily, the bedposts are normal when
he returns.

	Cameron realizes he's gotten all the fun he's going to out of the
baby and wants to send it back, but unfortunately Melanie is still in the
room with it.  Sylvie strolls in and bickers psychically with Cameron over
what to do with it.  Melanie amuses herself by watching their facial
contortions.  Sylvie decides to send it home, but Melanie won't turn it
over without learning who the mother is.  Cameron calls her Felicity of
Hendrake.  Melanie agrees to keep the whole affair secret so Cameron can
torment Sandr some more.

	Ulysses is Trumped by Tianen, who asks if he still wants her to
look at the Logrus.  He does.  She wants some help, but he's rather
preoccupied with this newborn thing, so she has to look elsewhere.  She
tries Sylvie, who not only comes through, but brings Cameron and Melanie
with her.  Hey, the more the merrier.

	Corwin Trumps Archi and pulls him through.  He's missing his left
arm and leg and the left side of his face is badly burned.  Sucks to be
him.  Corwin's inclined to stay out of the action for a while, for some
reason.  He and Benedict were both manacled, but, lucky him, his manacle
was on the arm that got blown off.  He also relays the happy news that
Eric is dead, prison not being the best place for the critically injured.

	Blood begins to rain down in Foil, then a Trump gate opens up and
Laughter disappears.  Ulysses Trumps Archi and tells him his wife's been
nabbed.  Hewitt has a cow and says they've got to leave before the bad
guys show up.  Beauty, Caitt and Oriana are brought via Hewitt express to
the Shadow of the flying monkeys.  Ulysses leaves Hewitt there and rejoins
the others, who are riding away from Amber.  Except for Vain, who's a
tree.  And Sandr, who nobody bothered to find.  And the crew in Chaos. 
But everyone else is there.

	Archi and Ulysses return to Foil, which seems to be OK.  Ulysses
gets his armor on and receives a fleeting Trump contact from Laughter.  He
Trumps her back but can't get through.  Then a Trump gate opens up
underneath him and he vanishes.  Archi is *not* happy.  He focuses on his
ring, and sure enough, the line leads to Amber.  So to Amber he goes, with
none but his descendants for assistance.

	Sandr waits for the blood to stop coming down and goes looking for
people, but no relatives can be found.  He goes down to the kitchen and
pours himself a stiff drink, then finds himself some clean clothes, since
dried blood is just not very comfortable.  He hears someone screaming and
decides to investigate, since he hasn't been beaten in the past hour or
so.  The voice sounds remarkably like Dworkin, and he's screaming about
his turtle being wrecked.  Sandr convinces him to turn visible, at which
point he reveals that he's been in the attic the whole time and he's
really pissed.  Why he didn't act to prevent the turtle's death if he was
right there is anybody's guess.  Sandr persuades Dworkin to remove the
Pattern bracelet, which makes Sandr's millennium.  In gratitude, Sandr
tags along while Dworkin fertilizes the area around Ygg.  Dworkin tells
him that Melanie can draw Trump, and she powers her Trump from Brand
himself.  Sandr realizes that this means Brand is still alive.  Those
annoying living Trump!

	Tianen takes the Chaosite trio to the Logrus, where they find
Fiona, Bleys and Random floating inside of it.  Fiona and Bleys are making
an effort to keep the Logrus from touching them.  Random is not.  This is
not considered a good sign.  Tianen instructs the others to keep her from
being interrupted, then wades in after the Amberites, teleporting them out
as she reaches them.  As expected, Random is dead.  Melanie Trumps
Laughter to give her the cheery news that she is now Queen of Amber, but
Laughter is currently enjoying Maron and Finndo's attention, so Melanie
can't get through.  Archi does answer his Trump, but upon hearing that
Laughter's been captured, Melanie decides that now is not the best time to
tell him that his father is pushing up daisies.  She Trumps Ulysses, who
is back in Foil, having Trumped back immediately after exiting Maron's
Trump gate in Amber.  He pulls Melanie and co. through, and is not happy
to see Random's body, so he Trumps Flora and dumps it on her.  He also
passes the red-heads through for recuperation.

	Melanie tells Ulysses that Archi is heading to Amber to rescue
Laughter alone.  Ulysses Trumps Archi and tells him he's being an idiot. 
This persuasive logic goes far with Archi.  Merlin Trumps Sky and offers
his help.  He also offers his fealty to Archi, which is how Archi learns
that Random is dead.  Nice going Merlin.  They return to Foil and Archi
walks off alone to brood.  Ulysses follows after him and tells him now is
not the time to mope.  Archi wishes Ulysses would fuck off and die.

	Melanie Trumps Sandr to see if he wants to come along on the
rescue attempt.  He's giddy and hides his hands, so naturally Melanie asks
to see them.  He eventually admits the bracelet is gone and bitches that
no one wants him around.  Melanie asks if he wants to be around.  This
circular argument goes on for a while, until Melanie asks if he wants to
help get Maron's head.  This gets through to the boy, who admits this
would be a fine thing.  He also tells her he's with Dworkin, so she comes
through.  At this point, Sandr decides to ask her where Brand is.  She
refuses to tell him, so he threatens to get it from her anyway.  He's
obviously been reading "How to Make Friends and Influence People." 
Dworkin tells him to leave Brand alone, since he's nutty as a fruitcake. 
And Dworkin would know all about being nuts.  He also asks them to keep
spreading fertilizer.  Sandr digs in manually, but Melanie uses a spell. 
Dworkin likes this not at all, but Melanie has no desire to get covered in
manure.

	Melanie tries to convince Dworkin to help rescue Laughter, since
Maron had Finndo kill the turtle so he could kidnap her.  Much to
everyone's surprise, Dworkin agrees, Logruses them to the castle, and
tells the Brand bratlings to create a distraction, at which point Melanie
and Sandr realize that he means to rescue Laughter *right now.* Melanie
decides this is really not her area of expertise and Trumps someone for
whom it is:  Archi.  Archi practically leaps through the contact when he
hears they're rescuing Laughter.  Ulysses, Sky and Merlin tag along,
providing almost enough fodder to satisfy Melanie.  She Trumps in Cameron
to complete the set.  Cameron shifts into a fire elemental, then leaves
just his hands and feet burning, then finally only his hands, since he was
setting everything on fire.  Archi kills the guards, at which point
Dworkin Logruses them into the castle.  While everyone else is getting
their bearings, Dworkin zooms ahead and rescues not only Laughter, but
also her Pattern ghost.  It seems the Pattern was busy.

	Sky insists that she's not leaving without killing Maron, so
Merlin locates him and takes her there via Logrus express.  Sky throws a
couple of daggers in Maron's throat, which kills him quite nicely. 
Unfortunately for her, Finndo was in the same room.  See what happens when
you don't recon?  He slaps one of those nasty binders on her wrist and
puts two on Merlin's.  Luckily for them, no one has any confidence in
their ability to stay out of trouble, so Ulysses Trumps Sky and pulls her
through.  She tries to take Merlin with her, but Finndo is hanging onto
him with the Logrus.  Sky says "later, dude," and cuts her losses,
figuring that at least Merlin won't be pestering her any more.  No such
luck.  Everyone joins together and gang Trumps Finndo.  They get through,
only to be smacked soundly with the Logrus, knocking those of little brain
out (read: Archi).  Even worse, this distraction allows Merlin to join
them.  They figure things can't get any worse and Trump the fuck out of
there.  Back to Foil, to be specific.

	Sandr senses Finndo coming after them with the Logrus and brings a
Pattern shield up.  The others jump in and lend him their psyche, since
it's better than winding up in Finndo's hands.  Finndo is knocked out when
he hits their combined strength, a fact which Sandr gleefully relays to
the group at large.  Everyone proceeds to Finndo's location, except for
Archi, whose body is left in Foil as a welcome home gift for Laughter. 
Ulysses reaches Finndo first, and proceeds to jump up and down on his
head, quickly converting Finndo's state from "unconscious" to "dead." 
Then Cameron sets the body on fire, no doubt in need of something over
which to roast those marshmallows that Sylvie likes.  Melanie Trumps
Laughter to make sure that Dworkin remembered to bring her back to Foil
instead of taking her to spread manure at Ygg.  She spreads the joyful
news that Finndo is dead.  Now all Archi has to do is get rid of those
three armies and he's set.  At this point, everyone learns that Sky
managed to kill Maron when she and Merlin went off on their own.  And here
everyone assumed they just wanted some quiet time to themselves.  They
Trump back with what's left of Finndo's body, which gives Archi a nice
wake-up surprise.  At least Cameron didn't light Random's body on fire.

	Archi Trumps Corwin and tells him that Finndo is dead.  Corwin is
thrilled, but still not inclined to spend any time in Amber.  Archi Trumps
Llewella next.  She's also thrilled, but reminds him that the armies are
still there.  You remember, the holy army one, the demon one, and the
high-tech one?  But what's an army or three among friends?

	Melanie Trumps Shandril and tells her that Maron and Finndo are
dead.  They figure that if Shandril withdraws her army, and they can
persuade Vain's sister to leave, the Halybard demons will probably swear
allegiance to Laughter.  Or her Pattern ghost.  Or something.  Shandril
asks Melanie to assist her in moving her army.  They also discuss what
should be done with Eve, now that both of her parents are dead.  Shandril
figures she should be with family.  Which means Melanie.  Just what
Melanie wanted, a small child to care for.  And she doesn't even have bad
stuff.

	So, at the end of the session, the death toll stands at Random,
Finndo and Maron.  Not bad, considering at no time was there anything even
remotely resembling a plan in evidence.


Quotables:

"It's a damn good thing I didn't get hurt in that deal.  In fact I got a
good meal.  But still..."  -- Sky to Merlin

"I see you're still having problems kissing men." -- Melanie
"Only when Sylvie's around." -- Ulysses
"Sylvie seems to have the same problem when you're around." -- Cameron

"I learned that trick when I was with the Hendrakes." -- Beauty
"The breaking my hand part?" -- Ulysses
"Well, that too." -- Beauty

"Who knows, you may wake up one morning to find yourself a lesbian." --
Sandr to Melanie

"You're so clever." -- Cameron
"One of us has to be." -- Sylvie

"I'm making the assumption that Maron has taken (Laughter), and I don't
want to deal with it." -- Ulysses

"Well, I want you to make one hand look like the other hand...  No, no,
wait!" -- Sandr to Dworkin, while trying to get Dworkin to enlarge his
deformed wrist to normal size

"I jump on (Finndo's) head with my Trump armor." -- Ulysses
"Well, now he's dead." -- GM
"Somehow I picture Ulysses yelling 'I'm crushing your head!' while he's
doing that." -- Emily