Session 58: "I have seen the enemy, and it has licked me."

	Ulysses beats Alane in Shadow racing.  He's a she this time.  She
attempts to seduce Ulysses afterwards, and fails.

	Laughter and Archi discuss who their kids take after.  Archi
pretends to have no opinion.  Wise man.

	Archi faces Carter Helgram in the one-sword.  Claudio is his
second.  Archi studies him for a while, finds a hole, and tags him.  Archi
wins.  He wins his archery contest, too.

	Ulysses races Charlotte Sawall in the Shadow racing semi-finals. 
No one trips him up this time.  Charlotte is smiling at him from the
finish line when he arrives, though.  Doh!

	Corliss kills Garrett Helgram in the two-sword, supposedly
accidentally.  Archi can tell that it was deliberate, though.

	Caitlin and Orrin go looking for Merlin.  They fill him in on the
Cymnea deal.  She wants Merlin to come with.  Merlin would rather have
more people with him.  Like, say, Ulysses.  They leave to discuss their
plans.  Orrin thinks Merlin and Ulysses should be sufficient.  They just
need to find Cymnea, get past her defenses, and then Caitlin should be
able to beat her.  Oh, is that all?  They plan to act in 3 1/2 days.

	Over the past couple of days, Archi, Claudio and Caitlin sense
Fiona, Gerard, Orrin and Aelle put on rings.

	Fey approaches Ulysses with a ring and says, "Food."  Ulysses
gives it food and pockets the ring.  He leaves while Fey eats.  He spends
the rest of the day watching the events from the Amber pavilion.

	Melanie and Kaedric discuss more details of the wedding.  Melanie
decides it might be wise to warn Laughter about the Serpent's appearance,
in case she takes it amiss when the time comes.  Kaedric leaves her to
this.  Melanie Trumps Laughter and fills her in.  Archi didn't mention
this?  Nope.  Laughter excuses herself.

	Kaedric tells Ulysses that he's going to recommend to Sand that
they give the Taormin over to his care again, since he did such a good job
in guarding it the last time.  There will be one additional occupant,
though.  Himself.  Er.  Whatever.

	Caitlin asks Ulysses to help her deal with Cymnea.  He won't do
it, arguing that it's a senseless murder, even if she might be a threat
someday.  Caitlin is unable to convince him otherwise.  He suggests that
she ask Benedict why he won't kill family who are a threat to the throne.

	Caitlin Trumps Benedict, explains the situation to him, and asks
Ulysses' question.  Benedict claims it's not sportsmanlike.  Caitlin
doesn't understand why Ulysses won't get involved.  Benedict says he can
understand why she's confused, given Ulysses' rep.  Who does she have on
her side?  Merlin, if they can convince Ulysses, Orrin and Claudio. 
Benedict figures that having an insider like Orrin will help immensely. 
If Merlin won't come, they'll need sorcerous people, though.  Benedict
suggests Laughter, Melanie or Kaedric.

	Melanie spends the evening putting Chantille Vale together, with
Kaedric's assistance.

	Laughter asks Archi why he didn't mention that the fact that he
was getting eaten by the Serpent.  Oh, that.  Melanie didn't seem to think
it would be a problem.  Laughter is not reassured.  She also brings up the
matter of Beatrice's first word, "die."  They discuss where she might have
picked it up.

	The following morning, Claudio faces Roland Sawall in the Joust. 
He "accidentally" hits the wing of Roland's mount, and gets tagged by
Roland as a result.  He goes for the head on the second pass, but Roland
moves out of the way, and tags him again, in the chest.  This hurts a lot. 
Claudio tries a feint on the third try, but Roland isn't fooled.  Claudio
loses.

	Laughter faces Despil Sawall in illusionary sorcery.  Laughter
says something to him, he looks startled, and she nails him with a
fireball.  Pretty sneaky.

	Ulysses faces Jalen Atherton in wrasslin'.  Jalen is rather
stymied when his claws don't puncture Ulysses' skin, and he tells Ulysses
that he should be in demon form if he's a shapeshifter.  He manages to pin
Ulysses, until Ulysses stabs him in the eye with his fingers, which makes
him let go.  Ulysses proceeds to flip him into the Abyss and is declared
the victor.

	Archi faces Gaston Hendrake, who's a *big* guy.  Archi still wins
fairly easily.  Then he goes on to the Archery competition.  His opponent
is Crispin Glover Halybard.  He wins, after using his mount as a shield. 
The mount isn't happy.  But he also gets off a shot into the guy's arm.

	The free-for-all comes after lunch.  Archi wants to get a Taser
for shapeshifters, which costs only $19.95.  Melanie and Ulysses become
invisible, and use Living Trump to bop in, grab flags, and bop out.  They
turn the flags in, and repeat.  The end result of it all is that Amber
kicks a whole lotta booty.  They all get land grants for winning, plus
benefits to the individual winners.  There is much hilarity about what to
call the various ways, Archways for Archi's ways being the most amusing. 
Ulysses wants to call his Happyways, of course.

	Archi and Laughter return to Foil.  Caitlin Trumps him and
explains how she's going after Cymnea.  Archi has an interest in Cymnea
too, so he'll lend her a hand.  He'd rather keep Laughter out of it,
though.  In that case, who can she ask for sorcery?  Given the timing,
she'd rather not ask Kaedric or Melanie.  What about Merlin?  He had
reservations about their firepower.  Maybe Archi could ask Merlin
personally?  Sure.  He Trumps Laughter and returns to Foil.  Laughter is
filled in on the situation, and isn't happy about being left behind. 
Archi points out that he'd rather Cymnea's attention wasn't drawn to her,
seeing as how she's another possible heir to Halybard.  Besides, he can't
die, remember?

	Claudio decides to spend the night with Kaedric "protecting his
honor," thus ensuring that he doesn't have a bachelor party.

	Laughter Trumps Caitlin wearing ninja garb and pulls her through. 
There's a bachelorette party to plan.  Caitlin just turns her skin dark. 
Oh yeah, Laughter could have done that too.  It would have been easier
than finding the ninja outfit.  They knock on Melanie's door, and explain
that they're taking her to the party.  They go to the marketplace in
Ivory.  Caitlin sighs.  They go to an Ivoran bath, where they get
massages.  Next comes the grand body paintings.  And then the provocative
dressing.  At the carnival.  Wack.  Erections-a-plenty.  They join the
parade of hedonism, and then decide to get food, and split the parade
before the orgy at the end.  Melanie decides to Trump Caitlin to Merlin's
room, instead of returning her to her own quarters.  Merlin is happy, and
then sad, when he finds out that she wasn't there by choice.  Apologies
are exchanged, and Caitlin retreats to her room, to hop into bed.

	Laughter returns home to an awestruck Archi, who decides to clean
his wife.  Manually.  And that's all.

	Melanie returns to Kaedric, checking to see if Kaedric is alone. 
He's not, so they go off to a fast-time Shadow.  Much zany sex ensues.

	The next day is the wedding.  It's a wedding, what can I say? 
There are silly promises, and assorted stuff.  Then, they go down to the
Abyss, and toss some shit in.  Kaedric makes the priest wait for the
Serpent, which he does begrudgingly.  The Serpent finally appears after a
few minutes.  It speaks ominously to Melanie, saying, "Though you have
seen much through my eye, know you will someday bear greater witness for
me."  Then menacingly to Archi, saying "Adversary."  It runs its tongue
over Archi's chest, which causes him some pain.  The Serpent splits. 
Swayvill announces that Kaedric is the new Heir to Chaos.  The reception
begins posthaste.

	Archi realizes that the Jewel is present, and locates it with
Laughter.  Apparently it just showed up when the Serpent licked his chest. 
He Trumps Random and explains what happened.  Random pulls him through and
checks on the cage.  It's been slagged.  Fiona is Trumped and brought
through.  She finds this most interesting.

	Melanie dances with Kaedric first, and quizzes him about the whole
Crown Prince thing.  It turns out that he was the Crown Prince in the last
time-line, too.  He was afraid she wouldn't marry him if she knew about
it.  Good guess.  Hope he liked last night, since it's the last he'll be
enjoying for a while.

	Melanie dances with Archi next, while Claudio dances with Caitlin. 
Melanie asks after Archi's experience with the Serpent.  He eventually
tells her what it told him, and the effect it had.  She is disturbed by
his story of the Jewel's arrival.

	Archi dances with Caitlin next, and flirts with her.  Melanie
dances with Claudio and discusses his new Ways and his future plans. 
He'll be taking up residence there, once he wraps up a few things in
Amber.  He mentions that Sky's in Corwin's universe.  Melanie tells him
that Ulysses or she can contact Sky there.

	Caitlin dances with Swayvill, who discusses her genealogy, and her
relationship with Cymnea.  Swayvill wouldn't be sorry to see Cymnea gone,
and could lend her some support, if she wishes it.  Cymnea is adept with
the Logrus, but there are others who are more adept.  Like his newly
adopted son, for example.  When will this be?  Tomorrow.  Well, with three
or four of his Guardians behind her, she should be able to have an
uninterrupted challenge.  She may thank him afterwards by having dinner
with him.  He begins giving her an in-depth lesson on how things work in
Chaos.  Melanie dances with the Guardian of the Logrus who served as
Kaedric's escort.  Archi dances with Laughter, who finds her armor rather
annoyingly unyielding.  They discuss his encounter with the Serpent.

	Caitlin dances with Kaedric, and offers congratulations for the
wedding and the princedom.  He sighs.  Caitlin inquires as to the cause. 
He admits that Melanie isn't too happy about the princedom.  Caitlin says
it was rather sudden, and suggests giving her time.  Melanie dances with
Swayvill.

	Caitlin drags Merlin out onto the dance floor.  He's rather
reluctant, and says he'll have trouble keeping that image of her from last
night out of his mind.  As they dance, she gets the impression from him
that he's thinking about her, and she chuckles.  He pulls his hand away,
and reminds her that his father was one of the randiest bastards in the
universe, he's inherited some of it, and she's tormenting him.  Well, if
he can get Benedict's approval to court her, she'll be willing.  Oh, is
that all?  He points out that Benedict has this thing about relatives
sleeping with relatives, and Dara is Benedict's great-great-
granddaughter, or some such.  Merlin conjures some gloves for himself, to
avoid sharing any more of his thoughts with her, and sweeps her into a
waltz.


Quotables:

"Congratulations." -- Charlotte Sawall
"For what?" -- Ulysses
"For losing to a Sawall.  I don't suppose you follow the ways of the
Jezetti?" -- Charlotte

"How did (Corliss) kill (Garrett in the two-sword competition)?" -- Dwinn
"With a sword!" -- Dann

"You should ask Sandr about (why I won't kill), sometime.  Not that he'd
know." -- Ulysses to Caitlin

"I had a conversation with Ulysses." -- Caitlin
"That seems poorly chosen." -- Benedict

"You should be in demon form if you can do that." -- Jalen Atherton
"Baby, this is my demon form." -- Ulysses

"My wife is dangerous." -- Archi
"She would be if she had two thoughts to rub together." -- GM
"Isn't that the basis of our marriage?" -- Archi
"What, we're each a thought?" -- GM

"Am I appropriately attired?" -- Melanie
"Yeah.  We won't be keeping our clothes on for long, anyway." -- Laughter
"What!" -- Melanie and Caitlin

"This is the kind of thing I can take my clothes off for." -- Melanie to
Laughter. 

"If you're done gawking, could you give me something?" -- Caitlin
"I don't think you want me to give you what I've got." -- Merlin

"Here.  A side effect of being licked by the Serpent." -- Archi to Random,
as he hands Random the Jewel

"I have seen the enemy, and it has licked me." -- Archi to Random

"Benedict has a problem with relatives... meeting relatives... in the 
dark." -- Merlin to Caitlin