"Brightness falls from the air
Queens have died young and fair..."
Random, there are moments when I curse you for dying. I curse
your killer more, but the fact remains that if you had not left us behind,
things would be better. Or so I like to think. I can't know if it's true
I do so wish you were still with us.
There's not only the fact that your wife is broken-hearted, and
will probably remain so for her life entire, but there is also the fact
that this event has possibly set up a model for my life. Your oldest son
is going to attempt to redraw the Pattern sooner or later. I'd rather not
live out my life in a stately mansion with my children, mourning my
husband, while the world goes on outside.
The other things that have happened since your death, they could
have happened in your reign. I do not begrudge the fact that you were not
here to distract the cultists. (Not much, anyways.) But I do weary of the
constant use of myself by his enemies to distract him from what is
important, and that is his job as King. I weary of it all. I almost long
for the days when I was the mostly unimportant daughter of Fiona. Almost.
I remember too well my near-constant frustration from being blocked at
almost every moment in my quests. I found my father -- did you ever know
that? Of course, Sawall is now defunct, and the tensions are so far in
the past, it almost makes her unwillingness to tell me pointless.
I'm having nightmares. I think they are sent, but I don't know by
whom (well, by whoever set up the Faerie thing, no doubt). And the
nightmares always end in death. Mine, always. Though I know I should be
fearing more for Archi's. And I do, in the daylight hours. When I am in
possession of my senses, that is. But that's another story.
Rest well in your tomb tonight, Random, and pray for us that
neither I nor Archimedes will soon be joining you there.
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