Session 11

Bad Karma

I almost killed Bailey last night.

Dramatic start, no? Alas, it was true, my interruption of her teleport spell almost ended her life. And though it all began in good fun, when I held her in my arms, soaked and chilled to the bone, with a weak pulse and drawing no breath, that I realized two things. One being that I'd almost cost her her life, and the second, rivaling the first for its ability to amaze me, was that I loved her.

*****

I only hesitated for a brief moment after talking with Rhys, one of the castle physicians. He'd examined Bailey's head wound, confirmed the deep concussion, and then told me that a healer should be consulted. When I'd asked of them, of course, one name came to his lips.

I sighed, and concentrated on Gwyn's Trump.

Looking as stoic as I could, I told her what had happened, and she came to me without a word, parking herself by Bailey's side and chanting in some strange tongue. I walked to the opposite end of the chamber and tried to stay out of the way, but I also didn't want Gwyn to see how much I worried. At last it was done, and Bailey woke, offering thanks to Gwyn, and I did much the same, relieved.

My cousin, though, with nary a word, nodded and Trumped away, leaving me less than wordless. Again, I was reminded that like it or not, things had changed.

*****

I sat on the edge of her bed in wet pants while the rest of my clothes dried by the fire. It was there that I looked when I told her about what I thought I felt, because her initial reaction was one of quiet shock. I rolled my eyes at myself, and apologized.

"No, don't apologize," she said softly, recovering, bringing her small hand to my chin and returning my eyes to her. She wore this tiny, funny smile on her lips as she gathered breath. "It's... It's just.... no one's ever said that to me before," she said finally, chuckling only a bit.

I returned a wry smile. "Well... I've never said that to anyone before, so maybe we're even."

Bailey sat up quickly, which made me wince for her wounded head, and hugged me fiercely, and I could only hope that this would be an upturn for an otherwise sorry day.

*****

It wasn't.

After many apologies to my brother, we came to an understanding concerning everything that had happened recently. Ben was right; it was time to let the matter drop. I suppose I can't expect everyone to conform to how I conduct business, anyways. But I think I'll always rue that the feeling the three of us had here, we'll never be able to recapture.

And I can only think of one person who should shoulder that blame.

I left him and his unnaturally cheery mood, and worked on cleaning up my possessions, few as they were, to prepare for my move, and I had two visitors. The first, cousin Gwyn. We started in our usual way of speaking, but it died, of course. I found I could not continue that way. So I was as courteous and "normal" as I could be, which may have threw her a bit, but she didn't say anything. So the better.

My second visitor, my crazed great-grandfather Dworkin, who took delight in talking in riddles and forecasting doom and gloom. He admonished me for speaking ill of my relatives, claiming that they were "all I had." Wrong, Dworkin. I don't have anything. I don't really exist, you see, I'm made by the environment and people around me. I only exist as something that they might need, and when those needs are sated, then... I'm all done.

Damn family.

*****

The day wore at me, through extended negotiations with Flora about a room to my liking. Maybe halfway through I realized I wouldn't get what I wanted. Dunno if the bitch ever liked me, really. It's not like we hang out or anything. Oh well. I think I'll get the windowless room just to spite her. Hell, maybe I'll knock out the wall and make a view of my own, if I didn't think it would get my ass thrown in the dungeon.

Or I could always move in with Bailes...



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