It was not all that bad. Turns out that while we were gone, pirates had chosen that time to attack Amber. Unfortunately they were not aware of the preparation that we'd gotten started on, and the Eyrians led the way in repelling them. Cecily's limp was caused by a rather nasty wound that the head pirate (Pirate King?) had given to her, and speculation as to what was causing it was rampant. It was nothing I'd ever seen before, and I had to admire that she was even walking with such a wound.
I needed to talk to Fletcher, and I bid Cecily and Stark go on without me for a while as I caught up to him. Before doing so, Cecily handed me a note that was under my door.
*****
I won't bother to transcribe the message, for it was only a rehash of what I'd learned on the trip into Shadow. Suffice it to say that it confirmed all of those things. "I'm sorry how this will make you feel." Indeed, Syrana, indeed. I can't help but remember that day I'd returned, and she thought I'd been pining and searching for her... I couldn't help but wonder what had happened at the Tor. There was no doubt that things had changed -- and I felt that with each passing hour that she was gone from Amber that my feelings numbed and waned.
There was still a sad, small ache there.
I caught up with Fletcher; it turned out he'd gotten a note of his own. I filled him in on what we'd learned, and we could only shake our heads at what had been done. The same thing happened with Cecily, when we finally met -- I also impressed upon her that Stark had developed the capacity for becoming a liability, but I don't think she took to that much.
I made my way out to the fields where I had been told Gerda would be, and again she was drilling troops. This was a repeat of the last time I'd gone off into Shadow and had to come back being the bearer of bad news. I had to admit that she took it all in stride. We began to discuss the Eyrian prophecy -- it seemed that Syrana had really taken that to heart, or maybe this was all Ilie's idea? That's when Gerda dropped the bomb.
"She was pregnant," she said flatly.
My mind began to spin. "But we... How? It must have happened at the Tor," I said, answering my own question. Why didn't she tell me? What made her think I would not -- or could not -- understand? But Gerda did not have those answers, and all there was left to do was curse at Fate and return to the castle. All I knew now as that Syrana had been thoroughly, profoundly changed, and the girl I'd taken to the highest spires of the Eyrians was someone alien to me now.
I returned to the castle and lie on my bed, trying to make sense of my world. I felt... deficient... somehow, that something was wrong with me for they way I'd jettisoned my feelings for Syrana. Maybe it was just that I'd parsed all of the facts in front of me, and I knew that such a love would be fruitless and only lead me towards pain. I'd seen it too many times in too many young faces, and I knew better from all I'd seen in my life.
Or maybe somewhere Claire was laughing at me...
I was tired of lying there feeling bad for myself, so I went downstairs to see what the others were up to. They were hip-deep in a discussion about dreams or illusions coming to life -- Fletcher was explaining that he'd found his family's crest in his hands when he'd woke one night.
It reminded me somehow that I'd nearly abandoned my search for my father, Caine.
I'm not sure exactly what happened upstairs -- everyone save Cecily and I decided to investigate the fact that Shen did not return after agreeing to escort the girl Harmony down to us for a little chat. Certainly there was a loud commotion -- furniture breaking, glass shattering -- and I looked over to Cecily, who seemed exasperated that she could not go up and be part of the hunt. As we stood there looking off in the general direction of the stairwell the others had ascended, who should show up behind us but Harmony and a greatly battered Shen. My friend had thrown himself out and window and acted as a soft landing for Harmony, who was unscathed herself. Stark began to minister to his wounds and I could only smile at my friend's dedication.
They reported that a pack of snarling beasts had made their way up into Harmony's rooms with the intent of having her as a meal; Shen says he did not see said animals, but he certainly felt and heard them. The others returned, finding the wreck in Harmony's room but no creatures, and we were left, as usual, with more questions than answers.
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