I felt equal parts exasperated towards and pity for Stark. The Gods know she'd already been through and been tricked but multiple parties in the short time that we'd known her. I had hoped that the experience would mature her, but here we were yet again. The look on her face told me she'd made strides, but I wasn't sold yet on whether this would build her up or break her down. After a while of looking around the camp for any evidence and finding little, we decided to ride off a ways, concentrating on Syrana with our Pattern powers, to try to pick up the trail.
We rode and rode and rode, experimenting with concentrating on Ilie, or I on Syrana and Stark on Ilie, but these attempts bore nothing fruitful. As we rode, I talked with Stark a little more, trying to get an idea of the girl and what might had put her in the position she is in now. Stark was very low -- I think she does not see herself with any useful position in Amber. I tried to bolster her with her position among the Eyrians, but she seemed even down on that.
After a day's worth of riding, we surveyed our options. A ride towards Embeth was not impossible but would be a bit of a haul. Stark had another option, and we rode off in a more Amber-like heading, as she told me again the story of meeting Lachesis. We'd made it to her cabin by the next day, and met by the woman standing in the doorway as we approached. I wanted to ask more of Stark about the seeress, but Lachesis bade up come inside to have some tea.
*****
We sat inside the cozy confines of Lachesis's home, drinking tea and asking questions. Actually, Stark did most of the asking while I scrutinized Lachesis as she nimbly dodged near all of Stark's requests. If memory serves me correctly, 'Lachesis' is (or was) actually Fiona, my aunt and one of the greater powers of Family Amber, for a time. And while her memory or understanding of the universe has been altered by the curse, the sense of knowledge, magic, and great powers is palpable -- almost as if just by reputation, the energies at her command radiated off her. Even thinking of that seemed to draw her eye my way, and I retreated a bit further into my cloak each time.
As stated, Stark was getting no answers and plainly was irritated that Lachesis would not be straight with her, only revealing the most cryptics responses about what had happened to Syrana and Ilie. They were 'following their destiny'; Stark did not think that that fit with her understanding of the Eyrian prophecies, but Lachesis explained no further. Finally, after having enough, Stark left the house to prepare our mounts, and I looked at Lachesis squarely.
"I have but one question," I started, tracing my finger along the rim of the teacup. "Will Syrana and I's... lives... intersect again?"
Lachesis frowned and looked towards the wall, as if through it and across the Shadows. "She has gone to be with her mother. However, you will cross paths again, someday."
I nodded, stood and bowed towards her, and went out to assist Stark.
*****
There was one other task, and Stark and I found ourselves in a packed arena, made of great blocks of stone. In the arena a strange game was being played between two teams of men. We realized that the star player for the winning team was our own Matthias, standing and running on two firm, healthy legs.
After the game was over we were able to meet with him, and he seemed very much a changed man -- where before he seemed brooding and consigned to his fate, he now stood before us strong both physically and mentally. I would have expected that he would have been of the mind that he'd finally found himself in Shadow, and that he had no desire to return to the dreary state of Amber, but it took little talk of what had been happening to get him to join us. He'd even asked after Cecily. If I'd been in better spirits, I'd have offered again to pester on his behalf.
This ride back to Amber has seemed to me the longest, though I know in my mind that it's just how I feel that influences the ride. I note that the flowers the pass by seem to be darker shades, drooping, or prickly cacti. How curious, this Pattern ride, and how it/we interact with the Shadows around us.
We rode on and on. I thought about Syrana and how curious that it was that I wasn't off charging towards Chaos for her. I wondered if that made me a bad person. I loved her, did love her still, but the more we rode towards home, and she towards Chaos, the more her picture in my mind greyed, fraying around the edges. Not long before she was a great fire in my head, my reason for continuing on this mad quest we all found ourselves in.
I wonder I loved her because she was as a bird with a broken wing, and I was to watch her and take care of her and nurse her into maturity.
Maybe that's why I'm not finding it so hard to let go.
Maybe.
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