Rosannadanna of the Amish

[Apocryphal poop] [Canonical poop]

Some Garishly Colored Apocryphal Graven Images of Rosannadanna of the Amish

Rosanna #1

Rosannadanna captured in a soul-stealing graven image, during her quotidian study of the Shakespearean Scriptures.

Note the Ikon of Matryoshka displayed prominently in Rosannadanna's otherwise humble domicile. Some scholars postulate that she did have a residual smidgen of Hochmut (sinful pride), regarding her work among the eastern tribes during her years of preparatory training. Other scholars dismiss the presence of this Ikon as simply one of Rosannadanna's gentle jokes (which were nothing if not practical); under this theory, she was poking fun at all others who actually did suffer from Hochmut.

Rosanna #2

Rosannadanna captured in a soul-stealing graven image, displaying the wooden device familiar to any student of history.

Women of lesser personal stature simply used such a device as it was designed: as a bludgeon intended for efficient control of household members. But Rosannadanna found an alternate use for hers: she used it to press dough, in making what she called "The Peace Pie." She appeased clients and adversaries alike with her famous line, "Come, let us partake of The Peace Pie and reason one with another!" Historians suggest that her gentle art of negotiation in this manner was the foundation of her remarkably high rate of getting cases settled out of court, with all parties mutually satisfied.

N.B.: The doobie depicted in this graven image is fake. It contains no controlled substances whatsoever. Rosannadanna allegedly adopted the outward appearance of weed usage primarily to mollify her adversaries (and, occasionally, to lull them into a false sense of submissiveness). Remember that by the mid-22nd century the well-known slogan "Mortify the flesh, Fortify the spirit!" had pervaded society to such an extent that weed usage (fulfilling that slogan) became almost mandatory. Anyone who was anyone gave at least the appearance of compliance. Those who were openly opposed to toking were frowned upon as "neo-trilobite pinko saffrono pansy-faced loser bait" (as a popular children's multimedia program of the day phrased it). Note that the use of [fake] doobies was Rosannadanna's only bow to societal convention.

Read the more or less official canonical poop about Rosannadanna as recounted by evangelist Bender.

Back to the apocryphal poop pile about Rosannadanna.