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Warning: the following tributary is apocryphal; some scholars do
not accept its veracity as fully inspired or inerrant. Now that we've got that little disclaimer out of the
way, please proceed at your own intellectual risk.
Rosannadanna (2141-2228) performed many signs and wonders during her time on our planet. From her humble and conservative mid-22nd Century beginnings among the Amish, she grew in stature as a powerful lawyer, thinker, lecturer, humanitarian, and Re-Imaging Feminist. She also served diligently as Deacon of the Chapel of the Immaculate Contortion for the One and Only Pure True Church. Yet, despite the garish temptations of the world, and her apparent success in the eyes of the English, she never forsook her own. She resisted steadfastly the corrupt manner of Hochmut, and never got herself shunned (although there were some among her own who would receive her not, on account of her unbraided hair and her extraordinary prowess at the Skat and Crokinole tournaments). She remained a brilliant lantern unto the world all her days. |
In Rosannadanna's most notorious case, Bontrager v
Hormelco Ltd, she successfully defended the constitutional
rights of young Anabaptist preadults in public schools
to abstain from the daily ritual of composing
SPAM haiku.
The judge ruled that the compulsory practice,
started in the early 22nd Century in
eastern Yodersylvania, was both
demeaning toward manufacturers of agricultural products,
and reinforced an erosion of culinoliterary taste. This
decision became the kernel of far-reaching reforms in provincial
educational systems.
Rosannadanna's influence today reaches unto the Seven Crannies of the Earth, and then some. Hear me now and believe me later, the world is no longer large enough or round enough to contain all the disks that could be written. Read about some of Rosannadanna's canonical adventures as recounted by evangelist Bender (Chief Mandible and Archidendrite of the OOPTC), and see the graven images of Rosannadanna, with more tidbits of apocryphal information! (Warning: these other resources are in color, so you might want to shield your eyes a bit.) |
"
'Twea de Owend ver Wiehnachte, aules em Huus
Lag nu uk muck stell, doa rand nich 'ne Muus.
De Stremp bi däm Heat honge aula schmock toop
Wan de Wiehnachtsmaun kaum un biem Schorrsteen nenkroop. "
- first stanza of Rosannadanna's favorite ancient poem
in Plautdietsch