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Tuesday, May 06, 2003

Winston! Toss that story about looting of museum articles down the memory hole!

Yes, Big Brother, right after the Two Minute Hate.

(A little too cryptic? Here's a summary: The Chicago Tribune is reporting that not much is missing from the National Museum in Baghdad, after all. Winston Smith was the main character in George Orwell's 1984, and his job at the Ministry of Truth (CNN, FoxNews, NBC, Chicago Tribune, etc.) was to rewrite history to conform to current government policy. Articles which didn't fit that policy were tossed down the "memory hole." The "Two Minute Hate" was a ritual observed by Big Brother's subjects where they hissed, booed, and threw things at pictures of Big Brother's enemies.)

Meanwhile, elsewhere in the Tribune Attorney General John "Big Brother" Ashcroft is saying that the artifacts, both those that were and weren't stolen, were stolen by organized crime. In the same article, General Tommy "Ballpark" Franks is saying they weren't. CNN is awaiting further disinformation from the administration before reporting, while FoxNews reports that the artifacts were taken by Hillary Clinton and Susan Sarandon, with help from the Dixie Chicks.