Terrorism forces us to make a choice. Don't be afraid...be ready.

-- from YOUR Department of Homeland Security (GESTAPO)
That's right. Probably fullfilling some campaign pledge to the duct tape and plastic sheet manufacturers of America (headquarters: Bermuda), Gestapo Chief Tom Ridge's first accomplishment as a cabinet member is something called the "Ready Campaign," giving us the information needed to live another 25 minutes in case of nuclear, chemical, or biological attacks. It features this Orwellian web site, and an 800 number to call for a free brochure.

So while Bush has failed to deliver on promises to state and local governments to provide additional funding for police, fire, and other emergency services, and Rummy is sending many of our existing police, firefighters, doctors, nurses and other first providers to the Middle East to take part in an exercise in destruction sure to increase the likelihood of terrorist attacks, the best ol' Tom can come up with is "Don't be afraid...be ready." Don't worry, be happy. How do you tell when your government is lying to you? Its lips are moving.