You won't believe this:

Unfortunately, Dave Barry was not making this up:

Cobra, the new generation commercial based security and reconnaissance vehicle is in production and available from Ibis Tek. Configured to the customer’s requirements, the Sport Utility Vehicle is outfitted with a Thales AFV Systems’ Stabilized Weapon and Reconnaissance Mount - SWARM.

The SWARM stores in the vehicle until required giving the vehicle a nondescript and nonthreatening appearance during normal operation of the vehicle. At the push of a button at the control station located at the passengers seat the remote weapons station is deployed and ready to fire in 10 seconds.

The Cobra and its sister vehicles Viper and Python are designed for multiple functions including VIP escort, reconnaissance, security patrol, Homeland Defense, and special (clandestine) missions. (see http://www.ibistek.com/pdf/cobra/cobraflyer.pdf for all the details.)

This bundle of joy is brought to you by the Ibis Tek Corporation of Butler, Pennsylvania, home state of Homeland Security Director Tom Ridge. It features a retractable roof-mounted machine gun controlled by a panel on the SUV's dashboard. So be careful which soccer mom you cut off when dropping your kids off at school.