On Being Lilim
By Elizabeth McCoy

Just something I wrote up a while back, trying to decide what my Lilim's reactions would likely be to Lilim-specific things... In particular, Geasa...

On a Geas being invoked

"For a moment, it's like there's nothing else but the Holder -- they're the universe. They're everything, hated and desired, lover and torturer, betrayer and closest friend. Sometimes your vessel gets aroused. You always feel *everything*, sensations, sounds, scents; it all goes hypercrisp, but nothing matters except the Holder and what they're about to say, about to tell you, *make* you.

It's never like that when you bind yourself to do something specific -- you just say your pledge and it wraps around, almost comforting, because for its duration, you've chosen a path and don't have to worry about anything else.

It settles into the same thing when a Holder invokes you, too: a really weird feeling, half security and half imprisonment. If you were really getting into the task, it almost hurts when the Geas is fulfilled. You're *lost* for a moment, without its weight on you, without it humming inside and keeping your blood warm. Of course, if it was a nasty job, there's nothing but relief and freedom.

Still, I suppose I can see why some of us aren't more careful with their pledges. It's a rush. Probably gets addictive, in a weird way."

On handing over an unspecified Promise-Geas

"Okay, it's hard to explain, but you take a bit of yourself and sort of push it outwards. It feels like stretching, not quite painful. Occasionally you get nausea if you're in a vessel at the time. It's a *piece* of you, of your very self, and you've just handed it over to someone else. Right afterwards, you might get dizzy or a little tired for a moment, but you always notice that there's another *weight* wrapping around you -- a celestial bond. You get used to it quick, though; it doesn't *really* thow your balance off.

Sometimes you wonder what it would be like to spin your *entire self* out that way. Then you get sensible about it -- who wants *that* big a Geas running around loose?"

On invoking a Geas on someone else

"There's always a little thrill to that, because at first, you're not sure whether the guy's gonna cave or if you're going to get it back in your belly. Backlash is nasty, feels like someone just stabbed you in the gut. Fortunately, it doesn't happen much, but after you've gotten it once from a Balseraph... Well, let's just say that you *don't* want to try to bind a demon again.

Right after someone gives into it, though, it's a *serious* rush. You can almost see the Geas-bindings locking into place around him, even while the invoked shard is crumbling in the back of your head. It makes your breath go quick, hairs rise up on your back. Almost sexual. It's even better if you're commanding something you want from someone you didn't like, but that's just because revenge is tasty."

Flaming edge graphics from Our Domain Gallery of Graphics
The "In Nomine" and "flaming feather" graphics are
(C) 1997 Steve Jackson Games, Incorporated.
Used with fnord.