Beardbook
Click here to return to The 3rd Annual International Round-Robin Beard Off.
Tuesday, March 13, 2007 -- 15:07:05 (EDT)
Name: Matty B
The 3rd AIRRBO Beardbook is now closed. If you need to contact the Loyal Order of Beardos there are many points of contact on the extras page. Thanks for visiting.
Monday, March 05, 2007 -- 20:54:36 (EST)
Name: Tue's Nanny
Location: Crying , Babies USA
"My name is Todd and I don't have a computer and know what the internet is unless I need to look at naked pictures of myself with animals licking my testicles - and show that my nipples bare more hair than my chin ever will. - cry cry wimper wimper - tears and sad stuff- (thats todd)
yo man grow up - thats just sad - you need to remember this is a competition for men - at least DAN had the courage and stamina to look past this mess of a competition and continue with his true dream which is the Self-Made-NAMNICK space ROcket. Thats a man. Thats a beard.
Don't make me come to chicago and spank you tue.
Sunday, March 04, 2007 -- 11:09:25 (EST)
Name: milk bottle
let it be known that a final beard photo was indeed taken in plenty of time and was trusted into the hands of one Jeff "SHAVED" Johnson who apparently did not bother to take the time and email it in. it may be sunday morning but i'm thinking about taking up arms. FuCk! Well in the end my mustache will stilll kick the shit out of all your mustaches.
Friday, March 02, 2007 -- 22:09:09 (EST)
Name: Matt
Nobody says I sound like Van Morrison. Click the "matt" for proof.
Friday, March 02, 2007 -- 21:13:32 (EST)
Name: groh
some people say i sound just like dylan...
Friday, March 02, 2007 -- 10:27:37 (EST)
Name: name withheld
there are some answers (as much as these things can be answered) in the "news" section....for those who ask "why?"
Friday, March 02, 2007 -- 09:57:50 (EST)
Name: ROAR.
Location: crook , ville USA
robbed. gimmie a break the half beard pic - thats like beardoff 1847 - this whole competition is rigged its like some kinda presidential race and Michigan is the new Florida - all those beards cahooting together - it makes me sick
you all make me sick sick sick sick
Friday, March 02, 2007 -- 09:56:58 (EST)
Name: Beardfather Bear
Seventeen men began this Beardoff. Four men crossed the finish line. It has been a beardoff, hasn't it? I leave you now not as your Beardfather, but as your friend,
Matt
Friday, March 02, 2007 -- 08:16:17 (EST)
Name: Beardfather
Oh yeah, "come participate in mustache weekend and make it a big success while I ignore the beardoff and treat the institution like a sack of shit." Sounds fair, milkman. Sounds really fair.
Thursday, March 01, 2007 -- 23:39:52 (EST)
Name: mustache milk
get out yr god damned wax: MUSTACHE WEEKEND MARCH 9-11. more details to come. in the meantime pick up tickets for Slim Cessna's Auto Club at the Abbey Pub March 10th. it's down the street. it's fucking awesome.
Thursday, March 01, 2007 -- 17:16:24 (EST)
Name: Beardfather
March 1, and the busy work of choosing a winner begins. Tomorrow morning your Beard King will be crowned. Until then, here's a new video of the Honeysuckle Midnight Ramblers to tide you over.
Thursday, March 01, 2007 -- 09:51:51 (EST)
Name: hoo-doo operater
I guess this ends with a whimper instead of the proverbial "bang".
Wednesday, February 28, 2007 -- 09:36:08 (EST)
Name: the lone gunman
Thank God this thing is finally over! Dan and Gabe...You will always be remembered, even if that dirty shaven beardfather doesnt care!
Tuesday, February 27, 2007 -- 13:33:50 (EST)
Name: bitterBEARD
many great men
have fallen this beardoff, but the earth will shake when the mask that covers those deceitful eyes is ripped from your face beardfather!!???? Your rein is over and you will finally be exposed to the world as the tyrannical beast I know you to be.
may god have mercy on you and your pathetic chin hairs.
a message brought to you by the P.E.T.D.B.
and
jon
Tuesday, February 27, 2007 -- 12:07:50 (EST)
Name: Doyle
Location: Chicago, IL USA
I did shave. I am a loser. This contest makes men from
minced meat. I am a shaver and not a man. There is
always next winter. Maybe then I'll be a man...
Sunday, February 25, 2007 -- 10:43:53 (EST)
Name: Matt
Oh my god. So Steven Seagal is the one who's been writing Eric Clapton's shitty songs for these past couple decades? Thanks for that youtube video to clear that up.
Saturday, February 24, 2007 -- 12:12:29 (EST)
Name: web scholar
Location: a, New begining
PLEASE GO HERE.
AND HAVE YOUR LIFE CHANGED.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QPJcKrQLGxE&eurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww%2Epea%2Dbe%2Ecom%2Fplay%2Fblog%2F
Friday, February 23, 2007 -- 22:33:02 (EST)
Name: gabe is drinking beer right now
What I dont even get the respect of being a LOSER?
Friday, February 23, 2007 -- 19:09:57 (EST)
Name: milk bottle
it is my great hope that everyone coming to mustache weekend will actually be sporiting a stache. there's plenty of time for the shavers to grow one back.
Friday, February 23, 2007 -- 08:40:49 (EST)
Name: Matt the Trimmed
You can count this finely mowed beard IN for mustache weekend (wait, but is the beard even invited to mustache weekend? if not, I guess it will just be there for andrea's birthday!)
Friday, February 23, 2007 -- 08:03:09 (EST)
Name: milklor of the fields
oh matt's out. why the hell is his picture still up??? i saw him, he shaved. out and out shaved. anycrap, mustache weekend and andrea's birthday (3/9-11) are fast approaching. who's coming??????
Thursday, February 22, 2007 -- 09:55:01 (EST)
Name: the lone gunman
soooo....beardfather....whats this we hear about your beard? If it was on diet pills, it would take "trim"spa! Dirty shaver!!! So much for the guiding light!
Wednesday, February 21, 2007 -- 08:42:39 (EST)
Name: The Lone Gunman
One week to go! Next thursday is the first of March! By the way...I hear the beardfather is a dirty trimmer! His inner-James Brolin got the best of him! Man, what am I gonna do at work until next November?
Sunday, February 18, 2007 -- 22:53:00 (EST)
Name: milk-ducts (boobs, get it?)
my hat's off to joe and matt for having such an incredibly fantastic party. here here.
Sunday, February 18, 2007 -- 21:46:42 (EST)
Name: groh
It is a myth that nails and hair will continue growing for several days after death.
Sunday, February 18, 2007 -- 19:47:36 (EST)
Name: groh
Spears is out , she shaved.
Sunday, February 18, 2007 -- 09:15:38 (EST)
Name: P.E.T.D.B.
Location: Revolution, Now Crossing all borders
THE WIND OF GREAT CHANGE CAME BLOWING FROM THE EAST AND SOON ALL WAS RIGHT WITH THE BEARDOFF.
Prepare yourselves gentlemen.
Saturday, February 17, 2007 -- 17:20:57 (EST)
Name: chad
I'm not entirely sure what all the cussing and complaining is about... for that matter, what's this site all about? There is no Beard-Off. I'm not sure what the Hall of Shame is, nor what the rest of this is even about... I never heard of nor entered a Beard-Off this year.
Upon scrolling down even further, I notice that some folks are complaining about Dan's photos not being showcased, and the (supposed) BeardFather saying that Dan doesn't exist... again, what are you talking about? Of course Dan wasn't in the Beard-Off, THERE WAS NO BEARD-OFF THIS YEAR!
I'm just confused.
Saturday, February 17, 2007 -- 11:58:53 (EST)
Name: Rev. Right
Location: Heaven,
Let's keep it clean kids. Cut out all this cussin'.
Saturday, February 17, 2007 -- 10:21:45 (EST)
Name: Kyle
Joe's Beard Gets My Vote
Friday, February 16, 2007 -- 14:01:03 (EST)
Name: The Lone Gunman
"waaa waaaa waaaa! Stop picking on my beard-off!", is somwon a wittle tie-awd(thats tired in baby-talk)? You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, and you can pick your beard-off, but you cant pick who picks on your beard off while they are picking their noses or their friends noses. eeewww...that booger had some blood on it! I did not watch my friends die face down in the muck so that some lilly-livered, buck-toothed, spindle-legged, pencil-neck, 2-bit, golf-hustling, side-winding, no-account, shit-spewing, fore-flushing, jizz-slinging, muff-jumping, cock-stroking fuck-bag can tell me what I can and cant do! Do you know why they call "Chicago"(and I use that "term" loosely) the windy city? BECAUSE IT BLOWS!!! Its full of a bunch of neck-trimming, moustache- tweaking, low-down, hob-goblins, who run in the other direction at the first sign of danger. You know, first they came for the shavers...and I said nothing...then they came for the non-picture senders...and I said nothing...then they came for me...and there was no one left to speak. Cry me a river, Justin Timber-Cakes, because all-yall' are dissappointments to your mothers...they're not mad at you...just really dissappointed.
P.S. ~ suck it!
Friday, February 16, 2007 -- 13:45:12 (EST)
Name: matt
I read that word in the address column as "weeping vagina" at first. It brought a tear to my eye. So did the rest of the message. Tempers are flaring, the air is electric with bearded tension....can this rag-tag group of enterprising young men make it 'til the end? it's looking bleak.
Friday, February 16, 2007 -- 12:22:31 (EST)
Name: boo-hoo
Location: Crysville, Weepingvania Sobsland
Fuck Chicago? Fuck everybody!!! Fuck all of you boo-hoo crybaby nonesense. All of you. Don't like the beardoff? Then stay the fuck away. Quit coming here to remind everyone time and time again how fucking awful it is. GO FUCK YOURSELVES. T
There. I've said it.
Friday, February 16, 2007 -- 10:02:54 (EST)
Name: The Lone Gunman
Wow!!! I actually have to agree with the Beardfather on this point. Chicago men aren't relly men at all. Its like a reverse transvestite, but instead of "chicks with dicks", it's "dudes with big, fat, cuntholes". I just feel bad for Dan, surrounded by a bunch of big talkers who leave him hanging when it really counts. Its too bad...sad actually. Another point...Maybe Doyle is in secret machinations with The Blue Mask to take down this lame beard-off. First, he fucks over Dan...Then he himself is dropping out...and, he almost costs Todd his spot, with Todd escaping elimination by the hair of his chin. Hmmmm, a conspiracy? You decide. I just hope you all decide to make this the last year for this dying dinosaur of a "contest", because it really sucks. Maybe a "who has the biggest, flaming moustache" contest would more suit this bunch. I just feel bad for the institution of the beard-off, and what it used to be. I'll gladly watch this train wreck burn from the sidelines next year, because I wont waste not even a week of my life participating in this sad sack attempt at brotherly love. Its cold outside, but its even colder in this contest.
Friday, February 16, 2007 -- 09:37:50 (EST)
Name: Beardmaster Matt
The Windy City isn't named for its weather. It's named for the thin, cold, windy air that blows within the souls of the chicago beardoffers where courage and endurance and dedication to the AIRRBO flourish in the souls of the others. Case in point: Doyle gives the Beardfather notice in an email correspondence that this is to be his last week in the contest. Know what that means? That means all that jive talk about being so strong and dedicated to the AIRRBO that he wouldn't shave for the wedding he is in was a crock of Shit. Chicago Style. Another case for the same point? Todd getting his picture in at 8:57 EST last night after a call from a co-contestant reminded him that putting one's trust in a proven loser (he had trusted Loser Jeff to email the photo he took at work) is not the best idea. Jon's lucky he got away...he just might take the prize.
Friday, February 16, 2007 -- 09:05:54 (EST)
Name: CHICAGO SUCKS!!!
FUCK
CHICAGO!
Friday, February 16, 2007 -- 09:04:34 (EST)
Name: I guess Chicago IS a second rate New York! While Jon stands by his fallen brother with a beautiful photo, you all are to busy eating sausage and crying about your shitty football team getting their asses kicked to even care! BOOOOOOOOO!!! to you guys...the true SECOND CITY!!!
PETDB PETDB PETDB PETDB PETDB PETDB!!! PETDB PETDB PETDB PETDB PETDB PETDB!!!
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PETDB PETDB PETDB PETDB PETDB PETDB!!! PETDB PETDB PETDB PETDB PETDB PETDB!!! PETDB PETDB PETDB PETDB
Thursday, February 15, 2007 -- 15:51:21 (EST)
Name: Joe's Friend Matt
Happy 30th birthday to Joe, and happy Day 106 to Joe's beard. We love you both!
Thursday, February 15, 2007 -- 13:37:19 (EST)
Name: Beardfather
Then I must say this: Dan, who is more than 10 years older than the next oldest of us in this competition, is ultimately responsible for his own fate. More than adequate warning was sent to ALL interested parties. WWKWD, Dan? What Would KraftWork Do?
Thursday, February 15, 2007 -- 13:24:28 (EST)
Name: milk
i must say this. dan did have his photo taken last week but jeff sent it to beardfather@hotmail.com. and then dad had a picture taken and sent in this week. regardless, i don't think dan knows he's been removed yet and i ain't gonna tell him cause he's big
Thursday, February 15, 2007 -- 12:21:20 (EST)
Name: tHIS SITE IS AWASH WITH REVOLUTION!
PETDB PETDB PETDB PETDB PETDB PETDB!!!
Thursday, February 15, 2007 -- 00:28:18 (EST)
Name: Matt
Just consider the TIME he puts into these endeavors...
Wednesday, February 14, 2007 -- 23:18:32 (EST)
Name: chad
I think the moral of the story is this... when you have only one fan, don't piss him off. YIKES!
Wednesday, February 14, 2007 -- 23:12:10 (EST)
Name: FIGHT.
PEOPLE FOR THE ETHICAL TREATMENT OF DAN'S BEARD.
Wednesday, February 14, 2007 -- 22:05:30 (EST)
Name: REVOLUTION.
Location: CHANGE, NOW RISE UP
FIGHT THE BEARDFATHER.
Wednesday, February 14, 2007 -- 21:45:59 (EST)
Name: PETDB
THE REVOLUTION IS NOW. JOIN. RISE UP.
PEOPLE FOR THE ETHICAL TREATMENT OF DAN'S BEARD
Wednesday, February 14, 2007 -- 21:43:03 (EST)
Name: The Revolution
Location: P.E.T.D.A., P.E.T.D.A. Citizen of the World
END TO TYRANNY. NOW IS THE TIME FOR CHANGE. RISE UP. P.E.T.D.A. P.E.T.D.A. P.E.T.D.A. P.E.T.D.A. P.E.T.D.A. P.E.T.D.A. P.E.T.D.A. P.E.T.D.A. P.E.T.D.A. P.E.T.D.A. P.E.T.D.A. P.E.T.D.A. P.E.T.D.A. P.E.T.D.A. P.E.T.D.A. P.E.T.D.A. P.E.T.D.A. P.E.T.D.A. P.E.T.D.A. P.E.T.D.A. P.E.T.D.A. P.E.T.D.A. P.E.T.D.A. P.E.T.D.A. P.E.T.D.A. P.E.T.D.A. P.E.T.D.A. P.E.T.D.A. P.E.T.D.A. P.E.T.D.A. P.E.T.D.A. P.E.T.D.A. P.E.T.D.A. P.E.T.D.A. P.E.T.D.A. P.E.T.D.A. P.E.T.D.A. P.E.T.D.A. P.E.T.D.A. P.E.T.D.A. P.E.T.D.A. P.E.T.D.A. P.E.T.D.A. P.E.T.D.A. P.E.T.D.A. P.E.T.D.A. P.E.T.D.A. P.E.T.D.A. P.E.T.D.A. P.E.T.D.A. P.E.T.D.A. P.E.T.D.A. P.E.T.D.A. P.E.T.D.A. P.E.T.D.A. P.E.T.D.A. P.E.T.D.A. P.E.T.D.A. P.E.T.D.A. P.E.T.D.A. P.E.T.D.A. P.E.T.D.A. P.E.T.D.A. P.E.T.D.A. P.E.T.D.A. P.E.T.D.A. P.E.T.D.A. P.E.T.D.A. P.E.T.D.A. P.E.T.D.A.
Wednesday, February 14, 2007 -- 11:23:27 (EST)
Name: Kingpin
P.S. ~ Happy Valentine's and or Birthdays evryone! Smoochy-shmoooo!!!
Wednesday, February 14, 2007 -- 10:08:58 (EST)
Name: Kingpin Billy LaLonde
This site sucks a big fat dick!(no offense to those who like the taste....Matt?) I cant believe the rest of you would stand by and let someone just be deleted from this site, like they never existed! I guess this beard-off mirrors everything that is wrong with the world outside the beard-off. If Dan really was your "bearded brother", then you should all stand behind him, and REFUSE TO SEND IN YOUR PHOTOS until his profile is reinstated. If not, then you all are beaten men. You may as well join the Republican party, or better yet, the Nazi party. Fuck this lame shit, I'll just go back to looking at porn. This year has been a total disappointment anyways. No videos, no candid shots, just a bunch of naked losers with foxes hanging off their nuts, slaves to a wannabe Dick Cheney. Sad.....
You know,I was all set to boycott this site as announced, but I decided to come back to support all of you and the spirit of this thing called "Beard-Off", hpoefully making a difference. Well, now I really beleive(Todd, that one's for you) there is no hope. This will be my last post. Goodbye all...Dont let your dream die...Rise up, you make this all happen
Tuesday, February 13, 2007 -- 16:43:07 (EST)
Name: The Unabearder
"Contestants should not fear their beard-off...beard-off's should fear their contestants"
Tuesday, February 13, 2007 -- 13:17:58 (EST)
Name: The Unabearder
Yes indeed, there is a new face of terror on this blog...and its name is The una-bearder! I will dispense chaos and mad spamming the likes of which Roderickybanez could only imagine!!! Hang your losers in the public gallows, or continue to face my wrath. From this point on...it only gets rougher. Heed my warning, Beard-fucker, or I mean father! Hang your losers high... all of them, or hang your head low, as your fingers narl up from deleting all my hammy spammy treats of destruction!!!
Monday, February 12, 2007 -- 19:05:31 (EST)
Name: Matt
I'm sorry, bill, what time is it?
Monday, February 12, 2007 -- 12:24:30 (EST)
Name: The Kingpin Billy LaLonde aka The Blue Mask aka La Mascara Azul aka Gone's-ville Daddy!
It is now 123:15 pm, Monday, February 12. Check the hits counter for this page and mark it down, for this will be the last time I visit this site until I have confirmation that all people who failed to complete, or compete by the rules, this "beard-off". Actually, this is not the beard-off, it is a joke. a shell of its former self, run by some flim-flam joker with a Bush complex. You may respond to this post however you see fit. Berate me, insult me...whatever. As the saying goes, "If a tree fall in the woods, but no one is there to hear it, does it really make a sound?". I wish you all the luck in the world. You'll need it. And if there are any post from "The Blue Mask", it will be like the 2nd Becky on Roseanne. There is only one who can harness the true power of the mask...Me!...and he will have nothing to do with this farce anymore! Piss on this Beard-off, Im outta here!
Sunday, February 11, 2007 -- 00:24:17 (EST)
Name: MattY
Billy, your central nervous system would begin shutting down if you stayed away for a day. It's your hits that keep this page alive. Show us some love, brohan.
Friday, February 09, 2007 -- 16:39:21 (EST)
Name: The Pin
Wow, still no Dan in the losers bracket. Way to go Bush-father. Keep em in line! I have some books that need burning as well...if you can find the time. I may just have to boycott this site.
Friday, February 09, 2007 -- 14:06:26 (EST)
Name: Beardfather
Location: On High, Above All
No shaver shall be removed. Now be damned.
Friday, February 09, 2007 -- 14:02:30 (EST)
Name: Beardmaster Matt and the Furious Five Featuring Rosey Palm
Location: Hard Knox, TN Unbridled States of North America
You'll be there in our hearts, Doyle.
Friday, February 09, 2007 -- 14:01:19 (EST)
Name: Pinneus McPhinneus
If "dan" is out, then why is he not in the "losers" section. If you do not complete the beard-off for any reason, then you are a "loser". Period. Just because you are the beardmaster, you cannot re-write history as you see fit. If you think you can, then that "bush" on your face seems to be taking on the characteristics of another "Bush" we all know. Fact is fact. If Dan is not on the loser page, then I would also like to be "removed" from it and cease to exist. If you are trying to turn this great and hallowed competition into a giant farce, then "Mission Accomplished". Please dont go down this road Bushfather...I mean Beardfather.
Friday, February 09, 2007 -- 09:53:33 (EST)
Name: Doyle A. LaCrua
Location: Chicago, IL USA
I would like to let all know that I cannot attend the
great annual BeardOff party on 17 Feb 07. Against
my direct order, my asshole brother decided to get fucking
married that day, so I will be spend the weekend in Ceadar
Hills, UT. Go forth without me, and allow me to stay and
tend to the dogs, for they will grow hungry.
Friday, February 09, 2007 -- 09:46:41 (EST)
Name: Beardfather
It's too late. There is no "dan"
Friday, February 09, 2007 -- 09:44:44 (EST)
Name: j-beard and all of brooklyn
Location: , New York United States of America
WE WANT DAN. WE WANT THE NAMNICK. WE WANT DAN. WE WANT THE NAMNICK. WE WANT DAN. WE WANT THE NAMNICK. WE WANT DAN. WE WANT THE NAMNICK. WE WANT DAN. WE WANT THE NAMNICK. WE WANT DAN. WE WANT THE NAMNICK. WE WANT DAN. WE WANT THE NAMNICK. WE WANT DAN. WE WANT THE NAMNICK. WE WANT DAN. WE WANT THE NAMNICK. WE WANT DAN. WE WANT THE NAMNICK. WE WANT DAN. WE WANT THE NAMNICK. WE WANT DAN. WE WANT THE NAMNICK. WE WANT DAN. WE WANT THE NAMNICK. WE WANT DAN. WE WANT THE NAMNICK. WE WANT DAN. WE WANT THE NAMNICK. WE WANT DAN. WE WANT THE NAMNICK. WE WANT DAN. WE WANT THE NAMNICK.
*yo tue you need to be like the Ghandi of the Beardoff and heal the wounds that have been created. GET THAT PICTURE UP.
Thursday, February 08, 2007 -- 21:07:05 (EST)
Name: Matt
Look out, Gabe, because once you watch Das Boot you're going to HAVE to buy the action figures (but I hear they're really rare).
(anyone?)
Thursday, February 08, 2007 -- 20:55:53 (EST)
Name: Beardfather Madt
Brother Jon,
Your words fill our hearts not only with the blood that would have been pumped through them regardless, but with something else as well: PRIDE. We are proud to know you and be known by you as friends and bearded brethren. 27 years ago today an entity emerged from his mother's vagina and blessed all that befell his gaze. The blessing continues still. You, Jon, are the knees of the bee. And at 27, still just a pup. Our minds celebrate at the glory that is your future.
And yes, I myself am one week from a milestone in my own aging. 32 on the 14th. And Joe: 30 on the 15th. These 8 days of celebration, starting with today, are like our Beardoff Hanukkah. Mazel Tov, world!
Thursday, February 08, 2007 -- 20:38:32 (EST)
Name: Gabriel Grow
Location: NORWAY,
Rick Brown 25
Ferndale, Michigan
"The beard is the window to the soul."
I saw you in Criminal Minds last night I DVR'd it You Play A pretty good James Van Der Beek, but with a bigger beard,Nice. I caught Das Boot on the Dvr there also which is Like 5 hours long gonna have to PLan to watch that connection there in the beard transcripts on the 6th, hey how come nobody took me up on the super - bowl bet? Woulda shoulda Coulda been a LOSER. BUT Im Not...
Thursday, February 08, 2007 -- 20:25:35 (EST)
Name: jbeard
Location: BROOKLYN- son., New York United States of America
joe - o love that pic
that shit needs to be in some museum of modern art and shit
like for real yo
like educating young people and shit
Thursday, February 08, 2007 -- 20:23:29 (EST)
Name: born again beard
Location: BROOKLYN- son., New York United States of America
To all my beard brothers - I would like to thank you for sharing this special year with me - you have led me into my 27th year of life today. There is no other band of men I would have liked to share this moment with. All of your beards have inspired me every step of the way.
Tonight I cry tears of joy - hold your chins high and raise those hairs into the air - you are truly honorable BEARDS.
much love
js
*special salute to the Beardmaster who is quickly approachin g a new benchmark in life as well.
Wednesday, February 07, 2007 -- 11:56:14 (EST)
Name: Matt again
Did I ever tell you all about the roommate I had my freshman year of college in Champaign-Urbana? His name was John (McCarthy, unless I misremember) and perhaps it was just a phase I was lucky enough to experience, but he started nearly every sentence with the phrase, "Dude, man, fuckin'...." For example, "Dude, man, fuckin' have you tried those tater-tots in the cafeteria today?" Oh, and he had an ever-present wad of chewing tobacco wedged behind his lower lip as well....meaning, naturally, that there was, at any given time, a gatoraid bottle 1/4 full of tobacco spit resting on his desk - which, in our dorm room meant also resting three feet from my face.
I was thinking about that today.
Wednesday, February 07, 2007 -- 09:20:47 (EST)
Name: Matt
Maybe you should drink your milk and REPLY to the e-vite you have already received (via myspace) before making such a suggestion, beardo.
And to Lady Beardington: Ah, yes....I must have been too intoxicated by literature to remember that I had linked to that Calvino page in that past post. Forgive my paranoid rambling, then, for I was sure a nearby friend was, how you say? fucking with me? And as for how you found our brain-damaged nook of the internet, (searching for "robin beard" and finding the round-robin beard OFF) it was worth waiting for that punchline, for sure!
By the way, if you're brother is the Robin Beard on IMDB who does digital effects for the film industry AND is in need of an apprentice I would like him to know that my career at the University of Michigan is not carved in stone. I can be hired for cheap.
Wednesday, February 07, 2007 -- 08:15:45 (EST)
Name: milk
can we get an informal count on who all is coming to the party at Frenchie's? Maybe you should send out one of those annoying and retarded e-vites mr. bear? anywho, myself, andrea, jeff, and mary claire will be there.
Wednesday, February 07, 2007 -- 08:14:22 (EST)
Name: mr. milk
extra big ups to mr. jeff hadick who let me put my junk in his new fox hat that his dad sent from khazikstan (sp?)
Tuesday, February 06, 2007 -- 23:43:16 (EST)
Name: St. Hairy Beard
Location: BROOKLYN- son., New York United States of America
big ups to PAUL BURN this week for his camera skills and capturing my bearded awakening.
Tuesday, February 06, 2007 -- 16:55:13 (EST)
Name: beard with a B
Location: also 31, also like a sieve
Oh and I failed to mention, I like the picture very much.
Tuesday, February 06, 2007 -- 16:47:42 (EST)
Name: The one (but not only) Vanessa Beard
Location: 51.491231°, -0.176954° SW5
Mr Young, I see that I am not the only conspiracy theorist out there and this makes me smile, but please do not start to waste resource now (unless it happens to be the exterior wrapping to some, I am afraid needed, flax seeds)and allow me to dispel the myth:
Point #1. All of the reference you should require you shall find in a post dated 4th of January, by one 'Matt aka Beardfather'
Point #2. Perhaps you are "Matt" aka "Beardfather" and perhaps you are not!!! Or perhaps your mind is like a sieve at 31.
Point #3. Virtually all of my posts contain a reference of sort, this just happens to be the first that shouted to you. Sir, I read, I read A. LOT. As far as my pal Italo, he sits next to Borges, Rushdie, Marquez and Eco and above Saramago and Perec (but to show he does not have prejudice, cater-cornered to Wilde, Joyce and Kafka.)
I am within the bearded ranks as much as I return to your site, I am a 'B'eard and further - the Coincidence is this : I found your site perchance, as I was looking for (wait for it) Robin Beard's site, my brother...who happened to introduce me to Calvino's work.
Do not fret Fr Matt, I am real, I just happen to be great friends with that whore - google - and a bad aim with a mouse.
Tuesday, February 06, 2007 -- 08:23:04 (EST)
Name: Fr. Matt
Location: Willow Run,
Though I have yet to read that novel, it is the one about which I am most excited and the plotline of which I have told perhaps everyone I've encountered over the past six weeks.
But I don't read Italian, so your offer is cold and empty to me (but you knew this when you made it, right?).
(by the way, I call the linked photo: "If on a Snowy Day a Skier")
Tuesday, February 06, 2007 -- 02:21:06 (EST)
Name: Italian Lit
Location: Das Boot, EU ITALIA
Se una notte d'inverno un viaggiatore -- This is, in my humble opinion, Calvino's best. If you haven't already, I recomend you check it out, fool. Mr. Matt, I have a copy of it if you need it (it's untranslated, is that ok?)
Monday, February 05, 2007 -- 21:41:41 (EST)
Name: Matt (young)
Right, so I'm not sure what's going on here, but...Point #1: I have just, within the last couple months, become somewhat obsessed with the amazing writings of Italo Calvino. Point #2: Ms. Beard mentions "Hermit in Paris" in the posting below, but without any frame of reference or explanation. Point #3: "Hermit in Paris" is the title of a collection of autobiographical writings by...(wait for it)....Italo Calvino.
Coincidence? Or could "Ms. Beard" actually be someone within our bearded ranks? Perhaps someone trying to create confusion in my mind, thereby weakening my resolve and increasing the odds of my failure?
Hey, maybe it's a coincidence. But it's a strange one, you have to admit. And how many of you have read Calvino (not including those to whom I have raved of his genius)?
Just to be safe, I'm constructing a tin-foil hat as soon as I get home this evening.
Monday, February 05, 2007 -- 18:02:01 (EST)
Name: Mme Beard
Location: I go on digging my hole, in my mole's burrow
Something like a dream, or a memory, goes through my mind: and that continues to draw me back...
Gentleman, I congratulate you for lowering the bar whilst simultaneously raising the stakes.
TT, not certain what to say sir, but the chuckles heard round the world, I believe, suffice.
Hermit in Paris, harsh words were spoken too soon - it appears your men were never to fail you and now the competition is fierce.
Monday, February 05, 2007 -- 16:13:54 (EST)
Name: The Kingpin
You know, its funny that you say that. Do you realize that the Colt's helmets feature a BLUE FACEMASK?!? And now they may just be the cause for Gabe shaving! Hmmm.....
Monday, February 05, 2007 -- 13:46:51 (EST)
Name: Matt Colt
Uh oh....Bears lose, Gabe shaves? I guess we'll find out by Thursday at the latest...
By the way, this natural face scarf is really helping with the -10 degrees farenheit temps in Michigan today. (that's -23 degrees C for our friends across the pond).
Sunday, February 04, 2007 -- 23:43:47 (EST)
Name: Oooo oxy Lady
I dunno , I think Id vote or todd if that was Jim Beam Not Ginger Ale.
Sunday, February 04, 2007 -- 21:44:51 (EST)
Name: chad
Seriously.
Sunday, February 04, 2007 -- 21:43:32 (EST)
Name: chad
Todd wins. Todd fucking wins the 2006 - 2007 Beard-Off. That picture with the fox... perfect. No matter what the judges decide, you, Todd Michael Ray Tue, are the winner in my book.
Friday, February 02, 2007 -- 13:01:15 (EST)
Name: kbl2k7
Thank you for the photos this week. Those are some heady, mufftastic beards! Todd, thank you especially. I think I pissed my pants. Seriously...a little dribble may have leaked out in the ensueing laughter.
Friday, February 02, 2007 -- 12:09:28 (EST)
Name: Pelosi For President 2007
Im voting FOR Matt's Beard, Cause Im Afraid, Very Afraid!
Friday, February 02, 2007 -- 09:29:19 (EST)
Name: an agent of the government
Location: , Of The United States
Our team of "observers" here at the agency couldn't wait for Mr. Young to update his photo either (we understand your urgent need to see Mr. Young's beard, Gabe Groh Borchsenius) and so we have taken it upon ourselves to update his photo with a still taken from the camera hidden in his dashboard. I consider myself very lucky to be able to watch the whole video recording (with audio recorded by his cell phone) and get paid. Though my superiors see his beard as a threat (hence the close monitoring), I myself believe that Mr. Young's beard may one day save the world from its greatest dangers. And that is why I risk my life ... to spread the word
Friday, February 02, 2007 -- 09:26:45 (EST)
Name: so-and-so
Location: Bretterson, IL Denmark
boys n beards .... beards n boys ... omg!! beards beards beards beards!!!! boys boys boys!!! omg!!!
Friday, February 02, 2007 -- 00:54:35 (EST)
Name: Hoosier
Jon looks like a man-possesed. So focused, his beard could, at any moment, grow without pause until it engulfed his entire body. I haven't checked the calendar lately...is there a full moon coming? If there's a werewolf attack in Brooklyn, don't be surprised.
Friday, February 02, 2007 -- 00:34:25 (EST)
Name: G Grow
Beardmaster doesn't practice what he preaches, Thursday by 9:00PM, must be A Democratic Convention, cause the make-up is smeared, and still no photo?
Thursday, February 01, 2007 -- 19:10:16 (EST)
Name: jbeard
Location: BROOKLYN- son., New York United States of America
BIG UPS TO TONY LI THIS WEEK FOR HELP WITH MY PIC.
Thursday, February 01, 2007 -- 18:56:05 (EST)
Name: Near the JMZ
Location: BROOKLYN- son., New York United States of America
If I was Indiana Jones Todd Tue would be my Holy Grail.
I thank you my bearded comrade - from the deepest parts of my beard and that real warm place in my heart.
Tue for president.
MASTER OF THE GALLERY.
Thursday, February 01, 2007 -- 18:35:04 (EST)
Name: G Grow
Women who like older men are checkin me out baby!
Thursday, February 01, 2007 -- 14:22:58 (EST)
Name: Beardbrother Matt
Location: Ypsi, MI
To my fans: forgive me. I was going to upload my photo at work today, but I didn't bring the cable I need to transfer from my camera. I hope you can all get by on the old photos until I'm able to update later tonight or tomorrow. If you absolutely can't get through 'til tomorrow without a new picture of me, then email and I'll see what I can do...
Until then, let's thank Todd for his effort to befuddle the viewing public. Be sure to view his individual page (and scroll down) for additional photos from his "foxy" photo shoot.
So, we're at the start of the last month in this contest. It must feel particularly sad to be a loser at this time of year...what with the weather really getting icy and your bearding friends getting manlier by the moment. Let's take a moment to remember the fallen, pathetic beard-attempters...and proclaim that we shall not fail so worthlessly. Amen.
Wednesday, January 31, 2007 -- 14:19:19 (EST)
Name: Straight Talk
Location: Washington, DC United States of America
Ladies and Gentlemen, hop on the Straight Talk express!
(and to the bearders: no more promises. we want action.)
Wednesday, January 31, 2007 -- 07:58:18 (EST)
Name: todddddddddd
very good things await you my dear bearded brothers.
Tuesday, January 30, 2007 -- 15:11:32 (EST)
Name: the pin
I meant Wizard's Lair, not LAYER! DUH!
Tuesday, January 30, 2007 -- 14:30:23 (EST)
Name: the pin
Hell yah! A hydroponic beard! im gonna start growing my beard for next year right now, down in the wizards layer!
Tuesday, January 30, 2007 -- 11:20:51 (EST)
Name: Gabriel Grow
as long as your not using your wizardry to GROW your madbeard it is fine with me
Monday, January 29, 2007 -- 18:38:03 (EST)
Name: Matt
Location: Ypsweetlanti, MI US
I just FELT my beard grow!
Monday, January 29, 2007 -- 09:20:09 (EST)
Name: The dirty bloody soul of the former Kingpin
Even the Blue Mask Agrees with madbeard from Crooklyn. Though I wish to harness the power of your beard to fuel my grizzly machine of machinations, I do comend and look forward to your photographic wizardry! To all who throw your stones, mind your glass houses! Blue Mask out y'all!
Sunday, January 28, 2007 -- 19:49:05 (EST)
Name: madbeard
Location: brooklyn, ny United States of America
*a late reply to an earlier comment.
A beard can express itself in anyway it seems fit.
When a beardIMAGE (that is pronounced beeerdIMODJGE - like the French word) is produced it made with the intent of capturing the individual soul of each hair and rendering that beauty as a naked truth to be taken in by the rest of the world. When petty an uneducated folk come to this website and view the GALLERY - and make unprofound insights into its content - a sadness falls over me - because what people don't seem to realize is that this SITE is a beacon a STAR in dark and somber sky of life - a refuge that stands as a testament to humanity and to all that worth fighting for. SO IF YOU CAN"T GROW THAN SHUT YOUR FUCKN MOUTH.
Sunday, January 28, 2007 -- 00:27:54 (EST)
Name: Gabe
I can't belive alex...shaved his BALL!...Wow,...Isn't that WEIRD? Damn i thought he could HANG In there...WOW...Shaved...Damn... That's Stretching it...I trusted You You You...YOU...
Saturday, January 27, 2007 -- 16:48:39 (EST)
Name: Taft
Taft.
Saturday, January 27, 2007 -- 13:50:28 (EST)
Name: milks
dan gets the award for most consistently pissed off looking guy in the beard off
Friday, January 26, 2007 -- 00:24:58 (EST)
Name: Doyle
Location: Chicgo, IL USA
I agree. A man much wiser than me was once overheard not
so long ago: "The art is in the Beard."
Thursday, January 25, 2007 -- 23:28:33 (EST)
Name: 1 Beard BoyGenius
!/2 Beard Bolzi- It was probably the funniest criminal situation of my tenure as a crime fighter/cashier. I have the full DVR Recording from the time they walk in all the way to the arrest, I've been debating sending it to America's Dumbest Criminal's TV Show,! It's that funny, pending court appearances, I'll have a viewing after the Superbowl and Primetime if the price is right ,cause that's how I roll.
Thursday, January 25, 2007 -- 22:40:59 (EST)
Name: To: The BEARD GODS...
Pipe smoke marinating in beard. Gotta try it. BEARD GODS...before you shave this year I fully recommend smoking some nice smelling pipe tobacco ,like captain black. I certainly understand now the after shave of the beardedman.Several hours later I still smell smok'in and i'look good too.
Thursday, January 25, 2007 -- 22:23:13 (EST)
Name: If the bears lose the Superbowl Im Shavin? ANy BETS?
If the bears lose the Superbowl Im Shavin? ANy BETS?
Thursday, January 25, 2007 -- 22:21:43 (EST)
Name: Gabe
Roomba's are awsome it's like defraging your computer.
Wednesday, January 24, 2007 -- 13:36:28 (EST)
Name: dufus
Location: fuck, you in the ass
More like Honus Fagner.
Wednesday, January 24, 2007 -- 13:14:34 (EST)
Name: !/2 Beard Bolzi
Gabe - I must say that without doubt your submitted picture from the security camera is OUTSTANDING! To my knowledge, never before has such a submittion been so unique! Fucking coke heads in Marsailles (pronounced "mar - sales").
Wednesday, January 24, 2007 -- 10:58:13 (EST)
Name: Domino's
Location: Ann Arbor, MI 48103
Did somebody order a pizza?
Wednesday, January 24, 2007 -- 08:26:52 (EST)
Name: The Blue Mask
Well, well, well...If it isnt The Domino Gang. You are all falling now, one after the other! hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahhahahahahahhaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha......oh...is this still on?...opps, sorry.
Wednesday, January 24, 2007 -- 01:50:38 (EST)
Name: DOYLE
Location: Chicago, IL
All you hairless pussies step aside.
Only those with growth survive.
Your days are numbered.
BEARD BROTHERS UNITE.
Wednesday, January 24, 2007 -- 01:37:09 (EST)
Name: Michelle
Location: Chicago, IL USA
Someone should really remind that guy John S.
that the beard-off is not about this week's fashion statement or this week's new photoshop experimentation, but it is about the true,
unadulterated beard. Please stop
faking a longer beard. We are not
fooled by your trickery.
Wednesday, January 24, 2007 -- 01:20:39 (EST)
Name: Alex
"I feel that I owe it to you to let you know that I am out. It seems that I had a bit of a misunderstanding with my urologist. See when I went in for my consultation for my vasectomy the Doc. told me that I needed to shave. You can see where I would make a mistake. Well to all of the other bearders Good Luck. UNIBALLER OUT!"
Tuesday, January 23, 2007 -- 12:04:11 (EST)
Name: KINGPIN
FUCK.....THAT.....SHIT! If you dont send in photos of your progress, then you LOSE! "Those are "supposedly" the rules of this beard-off, but then again, we know that the beardfather doesnt play by the rules. I'll be the first to admit, I myself am a "loser". But for all the fans of this website, who wait patiently to see who the next "loser" is, they will be cheated. Dont dissapoint the fans and (ahem), "supporters" of this manly contest. If you cant handle the simple task of sending in a photo, when the beardfather devotes all this time to track the progress and skills of this contest and its participants, then you suck...and should be deemed a loser! I should know...Im a three time loser! "Rick the Dick" should hang, sadly, on the wall of shame, if he does not correspond photographicly. (I spelled so many words wrong in this post its pathetic!)
Tuesday, January 23, 2007 -- 10:34:33 (EST)
Name: Beardfather
The message has been delivered to BeardBrother Rick: send in a photo by tomorrow and then one the following Wednesday, or be exiled to the obscurity of life outside the Annual International Round-Robin Beard Off.
We're approaching the final month of growth, contestants. Your powers of beardery have impressed the world thus far...why not prove the caliber of your commitment to the AIRRBO? I offer the incentive of cutting any growers who miss photos during the final stretch of february. You may not be deemed a "loser," but it will be as if you never existed. Don't look at this as a threat. Consider it incentive.
Your Humble Support System,
Beardfather Barrett
Monday, January 22, 2007 -- 22:30:33 (EST)
Name: Blue Mask Revolution
A covert cell structure is a method for organizing a group in such a way that it can more effectively resist penetration by an opposing organization. If the covert cell is part of a resistance movement it can also be called a resistance cell, and if it's part of a terrorist organization it can be called a terrorist cell. It is also a method used by criminal organizations, undercover operatives, and special forces. Some cells may lie dormant for years until needed - see sleeper cell.
The organizational structure of covert cells is intended to limit the harm that can be done if members are captured and interrogated. Most members will only know the identities of other people in their own cell; only the leader of a cell will know the identities of leaders of other cells and communicate with them. By keeping cell size small, captives or double agents will have a very limited knowledge of the organization as a whole.
This approach, also known as compartmentalization, seeks to protect the larger organization from being compromised. By dividing the organization into many smaller groups, each of which is compartmentalized and only knows what it needs to know for its individual tasks, the damage that can be caused by outside penetration can be greatly reduced. Other cells can continue to operate independently.
Monday, January 22, 2007 -- 13:59:58 (EST)
Name: I Am The Beard in the Sky
Location: Blue, Hairy Sky
Rick, you're going to have to turn in photos for two consecutive weeks or you will be vanished. Your pathetic participation is explicitly noted. Not cool, dude.
Monday, January 22, 2007 -- 11:23:53 (EST)
Name: The Blue Mask(?)
Ahh, silly Beardmaster, you see, tricks are for kids! The Blue Mask network operates like a sharp, pristine, Gillette Sensor II razor...with 2 blades, giving you the closest shave possible. Or, maybe like the Mach III with triple action cutting! Or, maybe like an elctric razor...with thousands of microfoils, to foil your sad little contest! Just like your nasty little beards, you can all stand together like the coarse hairs on your faces, and we will cut you down with one swift stroke, and a little cream! So, stroke that furry, scragily chin of yours whilst you can, because your time as a bearded wonder is very limited!
Monday, January 22, 2007 -- 10:01:13 (EST)
Name: BeardBrother Bear
You're right, I did in fact make a few movies a year ago in which it was revealed that Billy LaLonde suffers from severe schizophrenia/persolanity-displacement disorder and dresses as The Blue Mask in an attempt to justify his rightfully-shameful shaving. However, Chad has told me with his very own shaven face that HE has been posting entries in The Beardbook as "The Blue Mask" and that it is CHAD that actually runs the blue mask myspace page. Sounds to me like you have a revolution with no clear leader, no clear vision....confusion in the ranks.
Don't worry, there's only a little more than a month left of what must be torture on you shavers. But if I were among your kind I would try not to loiter on the AIRRBO page too often, because the beards of these warrior men are headed for the apex of their battle, and the resulting photos are sure to get pretty intense from this point out. Maybe too intense for a P.U.S.S.
Monday, January 22, 2007 -- 08:05:09 (EST)
Name: The Blue Mask, again
p.s. - big beards are like big trucks. Overcompensation for a lack of manliness.
Monday, January 22, 2007 -- 08:04:02 (EST)
Name: The Blue Mask?
Dear Retard,
Did you not see the movie that you starred in, did the camerawork for and, in fact, edited? The Blue Mask was unmasked as Billy LaLonde. You were there.
Love,
La Mascara Azul
Sunday, January 21, 2007 -- 16:46:07 (EST)
Name: Beardmaster Matt
Sorry milkman, but doyle sent me the pictures on friday and I didn't have time to update the site until today (sunday). Hope your tears dry soon.
And Chad, aka the blue mosquito, say hello to a new soldier in your loser army. His name is jeffrey, and he shaves.
Sunday, January 21, 2007 -- 15:35:57 (EST)
Name: The Blue Mask Revolution
Wow,this Beard-Off is so sucky, it's not even the main page of it's own website. Boo! Hiss! Viva la Blue Mask!
Sunday, January 21, 2007 -- 14:34:52 (EST)
Name: spoiled milk
ALRIGHT, I had my photo taken last wednesday by Jeff and then doyle said he was going to send them in. WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON???? If you can't trust your brother in beards, WHO CAN YOU TRUST??????
Sunday, January 21, 2007 -- 09:08:19 (EST)
Name: gabe
It just goes to show...you shouldn't get all cracked up and go shoplifting at 6 o'clock in the morning with $1400 and a big bag of coke cause there might be a chance that someone with a beard-on is WATCHING!HAHAHAHAHA!
Saturday, January 20, 2007 -- 12:03:04 (EST)
Name: todddddddddd
gabe, that is absolutely fantastic! congratulations on your new cocaine.
Friday, January 19, 2007 -- 10:46:39 (EST)
Name: Borchsenius
Location: , Denial
This was the article in the local paper after I caught this lady(in this weeks photo,standing behind me) shoplifting from the Store, she left her bag of cocaine on the cash register counter, It was quite comedic!
Theft suspects found with cocaine
When La Salle County sheriff's deputies responded to a report of retail theft at the Norway Store Saturday, they also found two suspects to be holding a large quantity of cocaine.
At 6:30 a.m., deputies were called to the store, Illinois Route 71 near Sheridan, in reference to a shoplifting complaint.
Patricia G. Strope, 34, 3542 Illinois Route 71, Marseilles, was charged with possession of a controlled substance with intent to deliver, possession of drug equipment and retail theft.
Deputies also arrested Charles D. Redman, 45, who has addresses listed in both Marseilles and Yorkville, on charges of possession of a controlled substance and possession of drug equipment.
According to the sheriff's office, deputies found a "large quantity" of cocaine packaged in individual wrappings. A "substantial amount" of cash also was found on both suspects.
Strope and Redman were taken to the La Salle County Jail. Strope's bond was set at $107,000, and Redman's was set at $10,000. They must post 10 percent to be released.
Thursday, January 18, 2007 -- 16:44:27 (EST)
Name: willy will
i didnt mean to say "it is only fitting" twice. I meant to say that there will be quite a large voting pool.
Thursday, January 18, 2007 -- 16:43:09 (EST)
Name: willy-will
That is a splendid idea, Red Baron! It is only fitting, and after all the drop-outs this year, it would only be fitting. I'm dying to know who is next! It really sucked last year, being the lone drop-out. Im glad there are so many other fuckin' losers this year
Thursday, January 18, 2007 -- 12:42:30 (EST)
Name: The Red Baron
Location: Chicago,
So, are the shavers of the contest going to choose the winner of the beardoff, ala Survivor style where voted off contestents vote for the winner.
Thursday, January 18, 2007 -- 02:15:25 (EST)
Name: Logan
Happy Birthday, Motherfuckers!!!!!
Wednesday, January 17, 2007 -- 19:18:41 (EST)
Name: milkner
i hear (and by hear, i mean seen) that there's another shaver.
Wednesday, January 17, 2007 -- 18:41:05 (EST)
Name: little b
Location: today it rained, yesterday it rained tomorrow it will probably rain
Dear Mr. Young,
Please don't become discouraged. We(yes, that is the royal we) still believe in you.
-.
Wednesday, January 17, 2007 -- 12:40:29 (EST)
Name: Gabe
Hey click this URL:
http://mywebtimes.com/ottnews/archives/ottawa/display.php?id=290235&query=norway%20store
Tuesday, January 16, 2007 -- 12:34:40 (EST)
Name: milkington
i heard jon's dead.
Tuesday, January 16, 2007 -- 11:06:55 (EST)
Name: Chewels
Location: Bollywood, India
Well, Well, it looks like the people call for my beard are going to get their wish, Jason is going to shave. Not because I want to, but because the people filming Fred Claus with Vince Vaughn want me to be "well groomed". I tried to make my point that an unkempt beard is sexy on film, but they disagreed. I was trying to get the beardoff remembered for all time in Hollywood, but the Wedding Crashers directors were having none of it. It looks like all of the boys from Bay City Western are out of the competition. My transformation will be complete tonight around midnight. So sad.
Chewels
PS I still can't stand the Blue Mask.
Tuesday, January 16, 2007 -- 08:26:34 (EST)
Name: chad
The people demand an answer! Where is Jon?
Monday, January 15, 2007 -- 11:40:16 (EST)
Name: Kingpin
Where is Jon? I dont see his pic in either catagory! Did he change his name to Waldo? What gives, Beardmaster?
Saturday, January 13, 2007 -- 17:13:48 (EST)
Name: the Beard not so easily shorn
Location: South Kensington, for precision
Oh, yes. Master and Servant-I used to play that game all of the time... or was that the song, hmm, never mind.
Irrelevant now, for it appears as though Mr. Young has started to crack the whip which, if given the chance, I most certainly would have felt comfortable doing, for the boots I own... but in this, the band of manly men, I feel it more apropos for the current leader to lead not follow - which brings me to mention that Joe, your picture sir is perhaps the greatest picture to date, kudos to you - humor does not escape.
Friday, January 12, 2007 -- 23:52:49 (EST)
Name: BeardfatherBear
And who knows, perhaps roots can grow back in even greater health after having their system shocked by the trimming. After all, I don't see anyone new in the "Loser" section except for that last of the Indiana guys. And we all know about the root systems of those Brooklyn Roses...
Friday, January 12, 2007 -- 23:12:28 (EST)
Name: BeardfatherBear
Yes, what DID happen to the brotherhood of the beard? You know, the brotherhood that bonds us all in the unity of this website, contributing equally to the unparalleled glory if its relevance? The last time I looked around, there were approximately only a handful of beards that one could actually chart the growth of on the main page...which is, as far as I can tell, the only reason for there to be a website at all. It's past time those dedicated growers get the weeds cut from around the roots of their face-fur fotos.
Friday, January 12, 2007 -- 21:59:05 (EST)
Name: chad
Todd got his photo in... is Jon in or out?
Friday, January 12, 2007 -- 20:08:44 (EST)
Name: moo
what happened to the brotherhood of the beard?
Friday, January 12, 2007 -- 20:08:20 (EST)
Name: milk-ducts (boobs, get it?)
well you can all eat outta my butt.
Friday, January 12, 2007 -- 01:39:29 (EST)
Name: Logan
Location: Indiana, Fuckin' Indiana
It looks like the State of Indiana is out of the Third AIRRBO. I shall weep for my state and fellow man. Whether you feel it or not, you have all lost a comrade in follicle strength. The loss is the first for the region. Hold on Brothers of neighboring States. Hold On....
Thursday, January 11, 2007 -- 16:02:41 (EST)
Name: The Gardener
Todd and Jon have been notified that they have until I go to bed tonight to get photos in to me or be dropped from the AIRRBO. And since I forgot to add Dan to the email I sent them this morning, he has an extra day to get a photo in (or, being dan, do jack shit and have someone else do the simplest of tasks for him) before being dropped.
Beardfather gonna be doin' some weedin' from now on. And I'm not talking about smoking it.
Thursday, January 11, 2007 -- 15:50:31 (EST)
Name: kingpin
That is a pretty spiffy photo! I like them all. What a group this year! Imust say though, I do "BELEIVE" that Todd should be diqualified! What the fuck? You have let that mother fucker slide more than a chilidog shit stain in the back of a pair of extra tighty-whiteys! Come on! Todd, you made that film before fucking Christmas!!! Beardfather, can we get a ruling or what!?!
Thursday, January 11, 2007 -- 12:21:40 (EST)
Name: Beardfather
One more loser means one more photo I don't have to update weekly. And Joe's new photo keeps me in this shitty beardoff for another week....it is the very spirit of michigan beardery (circa 1982).
Tuesday, January 09, 2007 -- 23:21:52 (EST)
Name: The Blue Mask Revolution
We exist for one purpose and one purpose only - the liberation of your facial hair!
No longer shall you be prohibited from shaving.
No longer shall you be forced to send in a picture every week.
No longer shall you be berated for the quality of your camera.
No longer shall your integrity be called into doubt.
Do you want to trim?
Do you want to shave?
Do you want to live your life free from the tyranny of the BeardFather?
Join the Revolution!
Viva la Blue Mask!
http://www.myspace.com/annualbeardoff
Tuesday, January 09, 2007 -- 11:42:39 (EST)
Name: The Blue Mask
Location: The astral plane,
Trust me dear Chad, Im always near. When you think that you hear the wind whisper your name...it is I. When you feel like someone is following behind you, as you climb a flight of darkened stairs...It is I. Even as we converse now. You feel like this beard-off has become too much to handle. Some of you feel that you cant go on! Well, just look down. Do you see that set of footprints? The ones with the cloven hoaf? Those are my footprints being laid in the sands of time, as I carry you. If the beard-off is seeming to falter, it is because of my intelligent design! I blared a warning from my golden trumpets to all of you from the start of this thing....I will destroy Beard-Off 2k6/2k7! Join me or perish!
oh yes, and P.S.-Fuck Todd, that dirty, hairy, BASTARD!!!
Tuesday, January 09, 2007 -- 10:09:23 (EST)
Name: Chad
I haven't been to this site in like, a week or two. How the fuck is Todd still in this thing? I swear I haven't seen a new picture from him since November. I doubt he even has a beard anymore.
Say what you will about the shavers (myself included), but at least we had the balls to just come right out and say "Hey, I shaved. I quit. I'm a quitter." We didn't come up with excuses or work out deals with the BeardFather. Hey Todd, Hey Jon - how 'bout I start a contest and let you break all the rules, but I'll let you stay in as long as you give me a blowjob in lieu of a picture every week?
BeardFather - you're being taken advantage of. These guys are fucking you in the ass and they don't even have the common courtesy to give you a reacharound. DROP THEM. They suck. They don't respect you, they don't respect the other competitiors, they don't respect Vanessa Beard, and they certainly don't respect the Beard-Off!!!
This Beard-Off is pathetic. Even the fucking Blue Mask can't be bothered with it... I haven't seen him here in weeks either.
Tuesday, January 09, 2007 -- 00:55:39 (EST)
Name: Logan
Petition?... Signed
No offense Matt. I just like the idea of a female BeardGodMasterPerson....?
Monday, January 08, 2007 -- 20:39:53 (EST)
Name: Matt of the Youngs
Location: Ypsilanti, in Michigan
This, my friends, is turning out to be the lamest Beardoff of all. No videos, no poetry, no beard journals....in fact, only a couple of the remaining contestants can even be so bothered as to send in a photo every week.
Okay, just so we're on the same page: THE ONLY THING YOU HAVE TO ACTUALLY DO IS SEND IN A PICTURE. Seriously. The beard grows itself. All you have to do is photograph it once a week and email that photo to me. The whole process can be achieved in under 5 minutes if you don't care about artistry.
Fuck this! Who wants to take over as beardmaster? Vanessa?
I'm a hair away from shaving...
Saturday, January 06, 2007 -- 15:34:40 (EST)
Name: Logan
I've heard a nasty rumor that there may be another shaver.
Friday, January 05, 2007 -- 21:05:20 (EST)
Name: Milly
Yea, Get Vanessa back on the line!! Me likey.
Thursday, January 04, 2007 -- 21:58:16 (EST)
Name: Logan
I like Vanessa...she's witty.
Thursday, January 04, 2007 -- 15:48:41 (EST)
Name: Lady B
Location: not to be mistaken with the bearded lady, although I think I've met her and she's not too nice
And just as a psychologist is equally interested when his patient lies as when he tells the truth, since either way he reveals something about himself.
At your age, twin maybe but not father, but wait - does that mean I can't call you um, daddy?
Not to spoil tonight's most excellent show but I hope you guys have the same person on cloud control that we have on our little isle. A++
Thursday, January 04, 2007 -- 15:21:58 (EST)
Name: Billy
Just like the beardfather to turn his back on all those little beards! What a deadbeat beard-dad! Just remember, We'll see you in court, and you'll be paying beard support out the ass! Poppa was a rolling stone...or, a flowwing goatee in this case! Just how many beards do you have out there now, that you dont support? One day, there'll be a knock at the door, and when you answer it, there will be a strange, hungry beard, staring back at you. It will be like looking into a mirror, like one of your beards of yore!
Thursday, January 04, 2007 -- 13:36:38 (EST)
Name: Matt aka Beardfather
I want it understood that just because I have named myself The Beardfather of this competition does not mean that I am the father of all Beards. Vanessa, for instance, is not my daughter. Can't be. No matter how my sleep cycle works, the fact is it needs a new chain. Man, I want to shave.
and to venture on topic: why is it that the helix gang is the worst group of picture-getting-inners that there are? and jon used to work there, too.
Wednesday, January 03, 2007 -- 18:52:14 (EST)
Name: .
fierce...
Wednesday, January 03, 2007 -- 09:52:52 (EST)
Name: Kingpin
Location: Ypsilantis,, at the bottom of the sea
That is why I sleep for 12 hours whenever possible. And people said I was lazy... well, I guess it was just science! Ahhhh, sweet justification!
Tuesday, January 02, 2007 -- 16:54:26 (EST)
Name: Vanessa
Location: London, UK
Glad to see that the bearded (and spiritually bearded) gurus are alive and, what would appear, well. Question for the sages: if a sleep cycle is clocked at 90 min. per, then why is the generally accepted criterion 8 hrs. a night; as this would indefectibly interrupt our last cycle at a critical juncture (and, no, I am not interested in the law of averages, as I am certain a bigger conspiracy is going on...)?
Who am I? The negative space of all that I am not. What exactly do you want to know, Mr. Young? Ask the question whose answer you seek, if you have then with time in a different space.
What do I know about you? What Could I know about you? I know what I have seen and you intrigue me, that is all.
Tuesday, January 02, 2007 -- 01:15:15 (EST)
Name: Milly
Lot's of Hatin' on this year's BearFather. Wassup with that? He was so cool in the past. He's grown all militant this year. That's scary.
He threatened to kick me off for missing one week's worth of pics. He's really changed. I miss the BeardMaster who would channel beard vibes with me to the point that we could cheat on Cranium through our brains...er beards I guess.
Oh well, his Iron Fist raising ass might as well vote republican now. For Shame.
Friday, December 29, 2006 -- 23:08:03 (EST)
Name: BORCHSENIUS = 11
BORCHSENIUS = 11
Friday, December 29, 2006 -- 23:05:41 (EST)
Name: My Penis has got Norweigian in it...
Location: Norway,
I Just Heard Saddam Was HUNG...
Friday, December 29, 2006 -- 22:41:49 (EST)
Name: the squirrel master
Location: nyert, fuck off
They just hung Saddam. Jerkin' off yet, Logan?
Friday, December 29, 2006 -- 17:09:06 (EST)
Name: Matt
From crooksandliars.com:
I don't know whether to laugh or cry over this one.
Forbes.com:
***
President Bush worked nearly three hours at his Texas ranch on Thursday to design a new U.S. policy in Iraq, then emerged to say that he and his advisers need more time to craft the plan he'll announce in the new year.
"We've got more consultation to do until I talk to the country about the plan," Bush said, appearing outside an office building at his ranch.
***
NEARLY three hours?!?!?! You know, I spent more time wrapping gifts this Christmas than Bush has spent meeting with his advisers over a war that has lost us 3,000 troops and more than half a million Iraqis. Glad to know he's not done consulting after those nearly three hours.
Friday, December 29, 2006 -- 16:55:38 (EST)
Name: Matt
Location: Ypsilanti Township, MI USA
Blah blah blah....
What I want to know is, who is Vanessa Beard and what does she know about me?
Friday, December 29, 2006 -- 10:53:39 (EST)
Name: KINGPIN BILYY LALONDE
Location: a place higher than your lowly asses,
Hey..."fucking dick", also has 11 letters! Its no coincedence! Im with the Prince. I think that this beard-off owes Jason an apology. In the words of Tony Montana, "All a man has in this world is his word and his balls", Jason has shown he has both. Too bad the beardfather an his so called band of "noble" beard kings(queens in my book) dont. Jason doesnt owe you an apology or anything else. I think you dirty pussy-mouths are the ones who owe him! He is just a man and his beard, trying to make their way in this crazy world. All of a sudden, he has some nazi beardfather and his goose stepping boyfriends insulting his camera, his beard, and his general character. ALL unprovoked I might add. And then, when he lowers himself to prove to your petty asses that he hasnt trimmed, you insult the mans pride again by thanking him for "his" apology! I wonder if that slap to his face left a mark! If having a beard causes this type of inexcusable behavior, Il stay shaved, thanks! Hang your heads in shame, assholes. there is nothing "noble about the circles you are in.
Friday, December 29, 2006 -- 09:55:34 (EST)
Name: chad
Oh, and in regards to "ypsi" aka the BeardFuerher... I shaved because your Beard-Off couldn't keep up with me. Frankly, I'm simply too good for the rest of you.
I used to lack confidence, and had to stay in the Beard-Off and accept the taunts and barbs of lesser men... but no more. The BLUE MASK has shown me true enlightenment. I am in control of my own destiny... my life, and my facial hair. No more shall I bow down before the tyranny of the evil BeardFather.
Ever notice ...
George W. Bush = 11 letters
Nazi Bastard = 11 letters
Beardfather = 11 letters
Coincidence?
Join the revolution. Viva la Blue Mask!
Friday, December 29, 2006 -- 09:48:05 (EST)
Name: chad
You accept Jason's apology? Shouldn't the BeardFather be apologizing to Jason for doubting him?
Every day, more and more of us see through the BF's thin veneer of lies ... Logan. Myself. The Kingpin, and now even the Millionaire!
Join the revolution, Jason! You don't have to put up with this! THE BLUE MASK WILL SHOW YOU THE WAY!
Thursday, December 28, 2006 -- 21:57:17 (EST)
Name: Ypsi
Location: ypsi, mi
In regards to Chad's call to arms (to talk shit), i just have to say that his tirade reminded me of that sad sad guy at a frat or high school reunion that wants it to be exactly the same as it was when he was in said frat or high school. (the guy that hasnt grown or changed at all) CHAD, you shaved, so you don't get to tell us how to act or what we should do. Piss off and keep on living in the past, when you did manage to make it to MArch without shaving.
Thursday, December 28, 2006 -- 21:25:56 (EST)
Name: Beardfather
In the fashion of a *true* beard champion accused of being a grower the likes of The Kingpuss B. LaLonde or The Polish Puss Chad Derdowski or The MillionButtHairs Welz or Logan "Anything for a Nickel-oy", Jason steps up and proves his Beardhood with upclose photos confirming, as far as this Beardfather is concerned, that he has 8 weeks of growth on his face. I hereby accept your apology, Jason, and look forward to your photos from the back 9.
Thursday, December 28, 2006 -- 17:47:53 (EST)
Name: chad
While I agree that Jason's beard does appear to have been trimmed, I will remind you all that the Beard-Off is founded on trust. If he says he hasn't trimmed - I will believe him. His word is proof enough.
However, if he is found to be lying, I will remind you all that the Beard-Off is also founded on hatred, spite and malevolence. Therefore and thus being, all lies will be punished by forcible removal of all body hair with tweezers.
Don't let us down, "Chewls"
Thursday, December 28, 2006 -- 12:31:25 (EST)
Name: La Mascara Azul
Jason, my boy, you do not have to put up with all this dis-respect and hullabaloo! The Blue Mask encourages you to grow free without limitations, any style beard you desire. All of these overgrown pussy-mouths, with their precious rules to cling to...I bet they all wear wrist watches, tied down to the simple rules functions and time in their bleak universe! But you, I and others subscribe to a more astral physical point of view. What is empty space and what is defined matter are actually the opposite. In the dead matter lies nothing, and in the empty space lies all the building blocks of which everything is based. Join me and let these fools plumment into the black hole that they call the beard-off, whilst the rest of us true kings rise to our ultimate destinys among the gods and true halls in which they reside! The Blue Mask welcomes you!
Thursday, December 28, 2006 -- 10:51:59 (EST)
Name: Beardfather
(I almost forgot: Let's hear it for the first AIRBO contestant to compete sans-stache. Rick, you positively suck at getting your photos in, but you have proven yourself a man who is brave enough to place his full trust in his beard. The Beardoff Salutes You!)
Thursday, December 28, 2006 -- 10:44:44 (EST)
Name: Beardfather
I'm calling Jason out here in the Beardbook and sending this same message to his private email address: We Demand Proof that you have not shaved, trimmed, or in any other way shortened the hairs of your cheeks. The consistently poor quality of your photos combined with what is apparently your very minimal, nearly toddler-like beardgrowing abilities demand the question be asked. Upon consultation with FOUR past Noble Beard Kings representing all past Beardoffs the determination was made that solid proof is needed. Please send in at least one photograph this week that is clear, that features your beard as the centerpiece of the photograph, that is focused closely on your beard, and in which one can without a doubt see that what is growing on your face is what will grow unencumbered after 8 weeks on its own. The whole world is watching. THE WHOLE WORLD IS WATCHING...
Wednesday, December 27, 2006 -- 23:38:45 (EST)
Name: chlamydia fart
Location: streator, il
My pic is going to be a day late due to the massive explosive diarrhea and vomiting that i have been struck down with. Your Pal, al
Wednesday, December 27, 2006 -- 12:55:29 (EST)
Name: Vanessa Beard
Location: The place Big Ben calls home, & the Queen keeps her crib
Whereof one cannot speak, thereof one must be silent - or in this case laugh.
An interesting thing, that which can make a woman smile half way across the world & you all have succeeded in doing just that (especially you, Mr. Young - flock of seagulls & all)so carry on as I sit and ponder the effects of a beard...
& yes, that is my real name so if your contest hadn't been blessed before consider it done.
Wednesday, December 27, 2006 -- 12:44:55 (EST)
Name: The Blue Mask
Thats 4 now, bitches! moo-hoo-hahahahahaha!(evil laughter)
Wednesday, December 27, 2006 -- 11:22:34 (EST)
Name: chad
YEAH!
Tuesday, December 26, 2006 -- 20:17:13 (EST)
Name: The Millionaire
Location: WINNERSville, Pooty
Well, BeardOff!
It appears looking painstakingly KICKASS for a full page article in the up comming Real Detroit is more important than being named TWO TIME "GOLDEN CIRCLE OF CHAMPIONSHIP BEARD KING".
That's true, for I must step down. My rationale was to be remembered in the hearts of all Detroitians as the guy who looks like his own facial hair could kick your ass. A beard doesn't say that, it says "I'll kick your ass if I have to, but I'd rather not stand up."
So, I'm withdrawing with the hearts of the City of Detroit in mind. It has nothing to do with you guys. I love you guys like a bunch of dudes I've never met but we all grow beards together...and I mean that from my heart.
Keep the faith and don't give up facial pube hope!! For I believe in you!!
With Bearded Love, Matthew
Tuesday, December 26, 2006 -- 09:33:52 (EST)
Name: Shit-talker
Location: Shitsville, Poopsylvania Craptopia
I agree--we all have been to lenient on those who have not muscled up to the bar as much as they should have these last few months. So without further ado, I beging speaking in shit: Mr. Milly, could please explain why you seem to have less photos than everyone else in this competition? What the fuck have you been doing with your life???? You have to take one picture of once a week--the whole process from snap to send is less than five minutes. You are one sad lazy ass piece of SHIT. You get a job and suddenly you're mister too-busy-for-beards. How completely sad. You better get your ass fired right now and start working at not working. No wonder why the world is so fucked right now--the Millionaire has himself a job.
As for the first two losers of this contest, Mr. Billy and Mr. Chad (or should I say Ms. Billy and Ms. Chad, as their chins are as bare as a little girl's), why don't you two hug, give each other a reach-around and make up. Your constant bickering makes my eyes swell with tears with each nasty word that I read, and it's making my beard real salty-like. And I don't like it. So stop it.
Love and Hugs to all,
El Senor Bado-Asso
Tuesday, December 26, 2006 -- 08:52:30 (EST)
Name: chad
re: Ben Serpa - see the "rules" page for info about the Beard-Off, or check out the links to past Beard-Offs on the "extras" page.
Or, just read the next sentence. In theory, the 4th Annual Beard-Off will run from November 1 - March 1, 2007.
Tuesday, December 26, 2006 -- 08:49:28 (EST)
Name: chad
... just noticed your comment, Billy. Let me explain something here.
Saying "I wish my career hadn't been cut short" implies that forces beyond your own control ended your beard growing career. This, as we all know, is not the case, as you cut your own career short. Hence my comment of "You cut your own damn career short, you loser" You did, and you are.
See how it works? No pot calling any kettles black here. I never said that I didn't shave. Because, frankly, I didn't. See, I'm so bad, I simply willed the hairs to fall out, and they did. But that's a story for another time...
As for the rest of you - I think it's pretty damn pathetic that the only two people on this message board talking shit are the drop-outs. Take some fucking pride in yourself and in your Beard-Off! IT'S NOT A BEARD-OFF IF YOU DON'T TALK SHIT, so get to it! Start calling me a pussy! Start calling Logan a tool for the Man! Start harassing Jason - shit man, are you trimming? It sure looks like it. And where's your picture, Millionaire? Got something to hide? What happened to the Beard-Offs past, where the shit-talking got so intense, a moderator had to be brought in to calm everyone down, or Jon had to write a poem to soothe the savage beard? What's up with all this "Beard Love" bullshit? Where's the goddamn shit talk?
I think you're all fucking pathetic. You wanna join this Beard-Off, you gotta learn one thing - the beard is inconsequential. The shit-talking is NECESSARY.
Tuesday, December 26, 2006 -- 08:37:22 (EST)
Name: chad
Hope everyone got what they wanted for christmas.
Monday, December 25, 2006 -- 00:28:41 (EST)
Name: Ben Serpa
Location: Hamilton, Ontario Canada
I just found your site, ive obviouslly missed the 3rd annual beard off, when will the 4th take place?!
Friday, December 22, 2006 -- 17:13:24 (EST)
Name: Billy
Ahh yes, Little naked Chad, hurling your insults like a monkey flings crap. Well my friend, you soon forget that you too are the proverbial loser as well. There are many slang words in the english language for pussy. One of my favorites is trim. By the looks of your "beard", I am thinking it is also one of yours. So, the next time you decide to slight the kettle, maybe you should look in the mirror, you black-ass motherfucker!
Hugs and Kisses, "Champ"!
The Kingpin
Friday, December 22, 2006 -- 11:29:55 (EST)
Name: chad
You cut your own goddamn career short, you loser!
By the way, nice hair Mabio. Flock of Seagulls.
Friday, December 22, 2006 -- 10:16:00 (EST)
Name: Billy
Location: Ypsi-honkey-tonkey,
DANG!!! Look at all those snazzy beards! There are many young lions in the sport of beard-growery this year! It makes me wish my career wasnt cut short in its prime!
Tuesday, December 19, 2006 -- 00:09:12 (EST)
Name: BeardFather
I urge you all to check out "Castaways," a new link on the extras page. The relevance to our endeavor is startling, and the humor is rich. Check out the rest of the Lonely Island site, as well. Thank you.
Monday, December 18, 2006 -- 12:53:54 (EST)
Name: dirt
Location: angola, indiana fuck
yes i want to buy fentermine now assbutt
Saturday, December 16, 2006 -- 00:40:30 (EST)
Name: THE BLUE MASK
No picture from the Helix boys? Hmmm... I smell a rat. Or, to be more specific, I smell a smooth shaving lotion and some crisp aftershave! Ready to join my side, gentlemen? Click on my name, and see what heavenly delights await you!
Friday, December 15, 2006 -- 12:25:06 (EST)
Name: Jason
Location: Chicago,
Yes, Yes, I still have digital camera from 2001. The pixel quality is not that great. Hopefully that will be remedied after Christmas. I am thinking of applying rogaine to the beard to get more growth.
Friday, December 15, 2006 -- 10:47:27 (EST)
Name: mystery grower
Does Jason still have a beard, or is his face just slightly smudged in his newest photo? I honestly can't tell. What's with all the blur in so many photos this year? Are people using 8 year-old cell phone cameras, or what? by the by: I like all the text in photos this week. interesting.
Friday, December 15, 2006 -- 09:51:06 (EST)
Name: J Gro
Location: Chicago,
Gentleman, I have finally reached the point where the damn thing doesn't itch anymore. I believe it is called the beard horizon.
Friday, December 15, 2006 -- 07:52:35 (EST)
Name: Derected
Location: you, fuckin' butter-troll
You are the solvation to my erection!
Friday, December 15, 2006 -- 01:02:35 (EST)
Name: j-beard
Location: Brooklyn, NY United States of America
Todd Two.
Todd Too.
Todd Voodoo.
Todd Redo.
Todd II.
Todd X.
Todd Tue??
this shit is gettin wierd.
Thursday, December 14, 2006 -- 08:36:48 (EST)
Name: chad
... will you take Rodricky with you?
Thursday, December 14, 2006 -- 08:09:36 (EST)
Name: milkmas
Farewell all. I am taking my beard south to work on a documentary. With all luck I will run into bocephus and we can exchange knowing looks through our giant mess of facial wreathness. and hopefully i won't be jumped by a bunch of hillbillys and my camera stolen. till christmas.
Wednesday, December 13, 2006 -- 16:02:04 (EST)
Name: Billy
Roderiiiiiiiiiickyyyyyyyyyyyy!!! You Son of a biiiiiiiiiiiitch!
Tuesday, December 12, 2006 -- 23:20:28 (EST)
Name: Logan
Holy Shit...that's just a belligerent amount of "nospam"
Tuesday, December 12, 2006 -- 09:42:08 (EST)
Name: Billy
Rodericky, I nominate you for Santa's little asshole. What a piece of reindeer shit! Im the only one who is supposed to post this much junk on this board!
Tuesday, December 12, 2006 -- 08:33:35 (EST)
Name: Not Ricky
Location: Tee, Shirt USA
I think this would qualify as the offical "uniform" of the beardoff. Did they pay for rights to use this? We should sue, as WE own the BEARD!!
Happy growin', men.
http://www.threadless.com/product/677/Facial_Hair_Club_For_Men#zoom
Monday, December 11, 2006 -- 19:47:26 (EST)
Name: milklor of the fields
i'm personally glad to see rodricky back for the holiday season. we missed you roddy.
Monday, December 11, 2006 -- 09:38:31 (EST)
Name: Joe B
Location: ypsi, mi usandofa
my research tells me that testosterone is what make the beard grow, so i would suggest finding Floyd Landis, the Amish tour the France ‘winner’, to score some pills. Also, its supposed to go up when watching sports if your team wins...the risk in that is your team losing (whiskey dick and hairs falling out)...is it worth the risk? Depends if you’re a Chicago bears fan or Detroit lions. Good luck.
Sunday, December 10, 2006 -- 23:41:38 (EST)
Name: j-beard
Location: Brooklyn , NY United States of America
Shhh.
my beard is sleeping.
It does its best growing when it sleeps.
Science has taught us that.
sweet beard dreams to all.
Sunday, December 10, 2006 -- 15:35:00 (EST)
Name: kramer
Location: , usa
BEARD! "NUFF SAID. DOES ANYBODY HAVE ANY TIPS TO MAKE THE BEARD GROW FASTER?
Sunday, December 10, 2006 -- 12:22:40 (EST)
Name: chad
Excuse me, I meant to say "utaerqw"
Sunday, December 10, 2006 -- 12:21:44 (EST)
Name: chad
1) What the fuck is "uterqw"?
2) Jon... you can do whatever you want with your beard, but not in this competition! The BeardFather is more like a BeardFeurher! The Blue Mask offers salvation. The Blue Mask allows you to do whatever you want with your beard - shave it, trim it, let it grow like ZZ Top. And he doesn't ask you to turn in a picture every week. (though he does ask for two nude pictures a year, but that's just a request, not a demand) ... the Blue Mask lets you be who you want to be! Join the revolution.
Friday, December 08, 2006 -- 10:16:41 (EST)
Name: Billy
Jon, I love your pic this week! I dont know if you have ever seen the movie "Born Losers",(the first installment of the Billy Jack franchise) but you look like Billy Jack's nemesis with those white shades! Thank you for brightening my day!
Friday, December 08, 2006 -- 07:59:37 (EST)
Name: milklor of the fields
HEY GUYS! I think that Lollin person has something to tell us. we should all check it out. with our credit cards.
Friday, December 08, 2006 -- 00:01:20 (EST)
Name: j-beard
Location: brooklyn, ny United States of America
all fighting aside.
Helix boys. - i love every hair on each one your chins.
I salute you and may god protect you in that HELL they call a store.
keep growing
j
Thursday, December 07, 2006 -- 20:23:55 (EST)
Name: Matt
Location: Michigan, Mighican Michinag
Jon,
I would never put your beard down. I love your beard. Your beard is nearly all that I have. It is why I draw my morning breath, and it is the reason I go to sleep at night cradling my testicles lovingly in the smooth palms of my hand. Your beard is what I want, mister. Photos of it. Every week. Can you do that for me, Jon? Are you Man enough?
Thursday, December 07, 2006 -- 19:31:04 (EST)
Name: j-beard
Location: brooklyn, ny United States of America
sometimes words can hurt.
hope your test went well matt.
matt "THE ALL WISE ACADEMIC BEARD, WHO LIKES TO SIT ON A HIGH MOUNTAIN AND JUDGE SITTING ATOP BOOKS FILLED WITH BIG WORDS, OCCASIONALLY TAKING A SIP FROM HIS MUG WHICH IS FILLED WITH PIPING HOT RARE HERBAL TEA."
MISTER MATT who feels the need to make his beard feel better by putting other beards down.
its cool. no its cool.
no really.
j
p.s. big ups to tone-lock this week for documenting my growth.
Thursday, December 07, 2006 -- 13:53:03 (EST)
Name: The Blue Mask
You see Jon, The Beardfather will even turn on you, eventually! If you hadnt banished me to the nuetral zone, I would come down and shave you myself! But, I'm almost powerful enough to return...Its only a matter of time before I manifest myself in your world and kick some bearded ass!
Thursday, December 07, 2006 -- 13:09:15 (EST)
Name: Matt Behr
So Jon's beard can interact with the famous people AND report about it here in our very Beardbook, but it can't send in a picture? It must not know that if a beard fails to show two weekly photos by the end of the contest it can't be declaired The Champion...*even if it finishes the tour*
Thursday, December 07, 2006 -- 10:49:30 (EST)
Name: The Blue Mask
Anyone else interested in being a protege' of the Blue Mask need just whisper in to the wind, and I shall appear in your dreamscapes of sleep with further instruction. Or... you can email me. Join me, and let your facial whisps grow free without the rules or demands of a facist contest such as this "beard-off"! Imagine...a moustache, a van dyke, a goatee, a saver of flavor...endless possibilities!!! Join me, and discover the true power inside your whiskery shell! It is up to you. Your beards have given you a blank, hairy canvas! Now express your true desires! Viva Ra Revolution! Down with the Bear, up with the blade!
Thursday, December 07, 2006 -- 00:03:10 (EST)
Name: Milly
Location: YoMammasVille, YoMammaston U.S.Y.M.
I'm not sure what I'm more surprised by: Chad pussin out OR the brute Power of the Blue Mask. This Blue Mask has been known to tear down men and their will to coexist with their manhood. I sure hope MY manhood is safe.
Wednesday, December 06, 2006 -- 20:54:59 (EST)
Name: j-beard
Location: Brooklyn, ny UNITED STATES OF AMERICA
dear beard,
today you met Dave Chapelle and Mos Def. They were very nice, but neither of them mentioned anything about you. I am sure they were smitten with your charm and relaxed attitude towards fame - though. I casually told them how much I like their work and they tried to coyly sneak glances at your hairy splendor. All I sold them was a fancy video camera, but I think they ended up walking away with just a little bit more.
A Life Lesson.
"If you grow a beard, you are one bad ass motha fucka."
You have always taken me down the road of fame beard - but never have you left me alone.
jon
December 6, 2006
Wednesday, December 06, 2006 -- 20:42:28 (EST)
Name: j-beard
Location: b-town., ny United States of America
chad
you shed your beard, and like a butterfly from the cocoon you were reborn - so now let me be the first to bow my head in tribute to your mustache of glory.
seasons change and so does the facial hair of men. life is one big beautiful dance.
much love
jon
p.s. it looks like someone has been working out - and it shows.
Wednesday, December 06, 2006 -- 17:56:23 (EST)
Name: milkers
I actually don't care that chad quit the beard off. that fucking picture was worth it.
Wednesday, December 06, 2006 -- 15:37:29 (EST)
Name: The Blue Mask!
Yessss....You see, the rowers keep on rowing...but the danger's only growing!!! It is only a matter of time! Now I have one of my archest of enemys by my side! Some say it could never be done, but all things come to pass. The total dextructhion' of the beard-off is now immenent! The cool stroke of the blade against the virgin skin will feel oh so nice!
Wednesday, December 06, 2006 -- 13:44:00 (EST)
Name: chad
p.s. - VIVA LA BLUE MASK!!!
Wednesday, December 06, 2006 -- 13:37:49 (EST)
Name: chad
What I find interesting is that the BeardFather has taken it upon himself to assume that I have found a new career in gay porn, based solely on my newest picture. A picture which simply shows a man in a state of undress.
Interesting that Matt's first thought upon viewing this picture is "gay"... there's nothing gay about that picture. What's gay about a naked body?
There's no ass-porking. No billboard proclaiming homosexuality. No Depeche Mode or Erasure playing in the background. You see, it is the viewer who interprets the picture, and Matt has interpreted it exactly as he wants to see it.
You see, this is typical behavior by someone like Matt. Someone who is trying so hard to repress his own homosexuality, he feels the need to find "gayness" in everything he sees, and insult it.
It's okay Matt. I don't mind that you are turned on by my new photo. I like you whether you are straight or gay. I know it's hard to come out to your friends, and I won't pressure you. You'll do it when the time is right. But for god's sake, stop lying to yourself, man!
Wednesday, December 06, 2006 -- 12:47:16 (EST)
Name: Jason
Location: Chicago,
Chad, I am so disappointed, I was in this for you. You were the wind beneath my wings. Now, I will have to look to the Millionaire for inspiration.
Wednesday, December 06, 2006 -- 10:57:45 (EST)
Name: chad
33 days
13 hours
42 minutes
I'm out! Have a good Beard-Off, kids.
Monday, December 04, 2006 -- 14:45:28 (EST)
Name: The Blue Mask!
Greetings, furballs! Be warned, I will bring this beard-off to its knees! You silly little pussymouths will quake at my power! Stay tuned, bitches! From this point on, it only gets rougher! I'm like a beard magician...POOF!... and then its gone!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!
Monday, December 04, 2006 -- 08:40:19 (EST)
Name: chad
Even The Millionaire was able to get his pictures in! Come on, Dan!
Monday, December 04, 2006 -- 08:38:24 (EST)
Name: chad
Yeah Dan, get on the ball! Cell phones have cameras built in them these days.
Monday, December 04, 2006 -- 08:04:21 (EST)
Name: Beardfather
Good thing your spoon didn't break...otherwise dan would have never been able to eat all his porridge. Give me a break! He's a grown man who works in a CAMERA STORE and he can't get his picture in??? No, it's not your fault, Mr. Tue...you've already done more than your share of supporting ol' "Dead Weight" Dan. It's time Dan himself step up to the plate. And no, an afro wig isn't going to suffice.
Monday, December 04, 2006 -- 07:53:28 (EST)
Name: milks
My camera busted down and i wasn't able to get and send a picture of dan last week, please do not hold this against him (or me).
Sunday, December 03, 2006 -- 22:06:33 (EST)
Name: beardoff
congratulations indeed.
Sunday, December 03, 2006 -- 18:11:09 (EST)
Name: chad
One month.
Congratulations
Friday, December 01, 2006 -- 13:05:48 (EST)
Name: ColdBeard
Location: race, war dude
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DgY4ODTozQI
Friday, December 01, 2006 -- 09:22:59 (EST)
Name: Gabe
Heres somthing?
Friday, December 01, 2006 -- 09:18:44 (EST)
Name: Snowed in in Illinois it's really gabe
Thank God I have a beard or my face would be cold. I'm Looking around The site, and Wow it sure is GROWING".Youtube Myspace FoxNews, is it in wikipedia with the othere beard contest yet? Well Gotta go I told my wife she'd be getting 6 to 12 inches by noon today so I need to get ready to get Slammed...by the snow.
Thursday, November 30, 2006 -- 23:40:45 (EST)
Name: chad
Good luck on your examinations.
Thursday, November 30, 2006 -- 10:16:41 (EST)
Name: Boys Boys!
Location: Boys, Boys Boys
This beard is frikkin itchy.
Thursday, November 30, 2006 -- 08:31:05 (EST)
Name: Beardfather
They're trying to trip up the Beardfather by confronting him with more examinations today, so new pictures might not be up until later tonight or tomorrow. If you've already sent your week 4 picture in but don't see it on the site yet....practice the art of patience. And wish me luck. This exam proves to be the most difficult yet.
Wednesday, November 29, 2006 -- 00:42:01 (EST)
Name: Doyle
Location: Chicago, IL USA
May we all find the strength to endure the long, dark, hairy road ahead. For within it, we shall find the spark that ignites the fires of survival. They shall awaken to the pounding sounds of our footfalls as we trample upon the flowers that decorate the graves of the ancestors of our enemies!
Tuesday, November 28, 2006 -- 19:22:39 (EST)
Name: Matt B. Young
Location: Ypsilanti Township, HI
Four weeks and my neck is growing uninhibited. This is possibly a first for me, though there are a few beards in the mid-90's that I don't remember all that well. I'm even letting the 8 hairs that grow up towards my lower eyelids grow out. It's like Chicago in '68, man...
Tuesday, November 28, 2006 -- 13:21:15 (EST)
Name: La Mascara Azul
Oh boy! Its week four boys! Boy, where does the time go? Are you boys feeling it? Boy oh boy, Ill tell ya', You boys have made it a month, but there's a long way to go boys! Just behave yourself boys, or you might end up in boys town. Of course, you boys all might be too old for boys town. Well boys, good luck boys!
P.S.~You beard boys are gonna burn!
Tuesday, November 28, 2006 -- 13:10:35 (EST)
Name: chad
I didn't mean to say "boys" twice.
Tuesday, November 28, 2006 -- 13:10:12 (EST)
Name: chad
Tomorrow is the 4 week mark, boys! Congratulations, boys!
Tuesday, November 28, 2006 -- 11:00:19 (EST)
Name: The Blue Mask
While facial hair is a natural phenomenon for men, it's a part of the body that can be considered an art form in itself. Who would have thought that hair could actually become a way to decorate a man's face? Consider it a free accessory, that can complete your appearance and transform your look from night to day.
There's a fine line between what is considered in and out of style in terms of facial hair. Any style is acceptable as long as it suits a man's face and his personality.
We've covered the different hairstyles for men that are presently fashionable, but now it's time to cover the kind of body hair that can make or break a man's look; facial hair.
au naturel
Having a clean-shaven face never goes
