MediaWest (Partial) Quote List

Memorial Day Weekend, 1998

The quote list princess was incapacitated.

For these small mercies, Lord we are grateful.

Unless you meow or something.

To hell with a cover thief, she's a NatMare thief.

Wake her up every two hours to see if she can remember the quotes.

His nose is going weird, too.

So Joss has a thing with dogs, pigs *and* railroad spikes.

It's a Tribble thing.

If there wasn't a big honking bruise on your head already, I'd put one there.

Luckily, she comes pre-bruised already.

See, it's very effective, I can't be quoted. I need to sign more often.

I'm Jewish now.

How did that happen? Yesterday you were Lutheran.
I want better holidays, man.

You are *not* keeping the Orb of Thessalah in the duct tape!

Don't get me started on people who apologize obsessively.

I'm sorry.
...I can't find anything to throw.
I'm sorry.

At that point, I just throw you over my shoulder and keep writing.

Coke bottle, Coke bottle, Orb. That works.

No, no, not the Pope! Call the Enquirer, they pay better!

Those two should *so* be boffing each other.

It's the phenomenon known as 'Jim saving Blair's butt' -- happens at least once every episode.

So it can be put on display in the art show.

Playing with the Slayer's breasts is now my job.

Oh, water. Well, that's what ice does.

Glaring at her bellybutton doesn't scare her that much.

Mmmm, the taste of floor.

I have found Nirvana. Caffiene. Whatever. And I'm so happy that I don't even care that she's quoting me.

She looks like an anime. Oh my God.

They want to have the right to tell us where to go. Not that with 'Last Night' they didn't....

Never mind the fact that no Goth chick in her right mind would be named Zebra...

This is how I'm feeling except without the exclamation marks.

Mercs don't beleive in free will. I can't be gotten, she can't be gotten because I don't want her gotten, and she is ungotten because I want her ungotten.

I am quoted, therefore I am.

I am, therefore I am quoted. You got it backwards.

I give good rant?

Talk, talk, punch, punch.

She wants to even the head trauma award for the weekend.

The other half of Val is me.

Don't make me talk when I can't think.

Are you guys from a group home or something? -- random bystander in McDonald's

If I just speak in words she can't spell, I'll be safe.

Screaming bread -- now there's a concept.

I've never been so happy to see the backside of the Angel of Death, and that's saying a lot.

Did you know there was a second verse?

<hideous cries of pain>

May I hit you now?

I wish.

I'm seeing butterfly phone calls.

You don't need a plot, you make one up. That's why you are a writer.

Stop with the flashing 'duh's, geeze.

You've got me saying toodles now? Please don't.

Don't injure her, I have to pee tonight.

I feel like the Lone Ficcer -- "Our work here is done."

My toes are like weasels?

Now you want us to experience sheet envy?

I really need a gag when I'm asleep.

The Orb of Thesselah is stuck in the Coke bottle.

The twins are so precious!

Yeah, precious until you get to the psychotic murdering part.

Hi! Who am I hugging?

Fine. Ignore us in favor of our door.

Maybe it's Valerie's.

[holding up bra] It's *not* Valerie's.

We have multiple Slinkies, which shows how truly twisted we are.

What are you doing with all this orange stuff when this is over?

We're donating an orange charity.

It's not my fault! I didn't know she was psycho!

Do you want to put a halo on it?

It's the Orangel of Death. I'll give it Satanic eyebrows.

Saying "orange" doesn't really convey the *orangeness* of it.

If I start having sex, I might have to stop watching television.

No, no, no. *You* chirp, *I* make happy noises.

Some of us were out there distracting and shit.

Damn, you're good.

You brought orange home, didn't you? What have I told you about that?

I want to be the smiling, chipper face that drives her insane.

I don't want a dead nerve standing next to me.

You *slept* with a dead nerve!

But first season he looked young and fresh--and he wore leather.

It was a momentary lapse.

Of sanity? Or intelligence?

It involved fire and shellac.

I can hug you again. I can hug *everyone* again.