Jamie Does Chicagoland Quote List

July 5-7[?], 1996


Contributors include: Diane Eckelbarger, Susan Garrett, Jennie Hayes, Amy Hull, Jill Kirby, Tara O'Shea, Jamie Melody Randell, Jessica Ross, Amanda Thomas

More drugs is always better.

Here, I'll blow it out for you again, sweetie.

I'm the Web Hobbit. I wanna do it.

Who heard all of that and can repeat it?

So I don't have a pike. I'm sure there's an SCA guy around here.

It's been a very long trip. I've been on Greyhound and now I'm hanging with the NatPack. I'm scared.

We met someone who is so cool who you must meet.

Who is it?

Lisa hasn't done anything except drink the last couple of wars.

You can kidnap me, hurt me, beat me, throw me off a bridge, do anything.

We are NatPack of Borg.

We are the keeper of the cheese stick.

We possess the Holy Cheese Stick.

She fled. Look, she fled! She came out here to do something then she ran away.

I really must hit her with a two-by-four in the head at some point.

Shit, we drove here. Well, fuck.

"You vacuum" would so not work.

How do you do an active suck?

The concept of sucking doesn't, to my knowledge, have a sign.

This is where I am. Therefore, you are in the wrong place.

Sympathy with a toothpick in my finger.

Well, you're going to start wheezing and then you'll be you dumb bitch.

That's from _Groundhog Day_. ....That's Sonny and Cher??

Is it just me or is Susan an aspect of god?

Susan is an aspect of many gods.
Yeah, just one doesn't cover it.

Susan and Neil are on the same plane except that I can phone Susan.

We're way moving now.

Quote reconstruction 101.

I know you and I know you don't post shit.

I was trained to have a dirty mind and I haven't recovered yet.

We're making a U-turn. The hard way.

We can feel sillier than you.

When you're with the NatPack, life is a quote list.

Writeth it downeth.

If that smile got any bigger, it would walk around by itself.

Katie could make the Grinch smile.

Tara, show it to Amy.

Wait, is that the one I slept with?
Huh?

We can stroke each other.

It's the end with table-clearing loop con-o-rama.

I keep thinking that this is a cartoon eyeball sitting on the table.

Did the head injury help or hinder you in fandom?

The NatMare can sit for a portrait.

For Schroedinger's to really work, you need a mute cat and a soundproof box.

This wasn't the alien who lived in a cube, was it?

Yes, yes, yes, that's it!

Have? As in as a wind-up toy in your closet?

This is six degrees of Kevin Bacon.

We are going to create a dildo called the Mighty Morphin Power Fuck.

They got held up, they got mugged, they're dead, I'm sure the food will arrive.

What the hell happened? Time passed. Shit!

Fucking weird movie. There was a van in it.

Shut up! This is a fucking inspirational speech, Amy.

Oh, it's WP--it's Michael.

It's meant to start out as a tease and then get real.

Oh, you slut!!

Jennie, is it 'e' or 'no-e' Hayes?

Ma'am, we're from the FBI. Put your fingers on the keyboard, please.

Being pregnant is just not the way to get a baby.

We just gotta beat this shithead.

Look, it's Bill Clinton interrupting the X-Files, the shit.

Can someone give me money and tell me where to go?

Next time, spit to make sure.

I have kicked butt and Susan is not mad at me. All is right in my world.

I'm on penicillin and Seldane. I couldn't give a fuck what's going on in the rest of the world.

My conscience is on drugs.

Yeah, let me put my foot between your legs; that will make it easier.

Tell Jamie that yes, we've been trying to hide it from you, but tapes are born in boxes.

Oh, well, you're small; I'll attack you.

But I ran out of anti-Jennie and Amy pills along with the Flexural.

Well, that's a sad thing when breasts go away.

Ooooh, I got bitten on the butt!

No, we are going toward the west coast after this.

It's upside-down, you bitch!

Oh, my fucking God.

Oh, my God, the world is round. I'm a blur, and the world is round.

Somebody get the list on Advil!

The dogs I understand.

What are you godding about?

This is what makes a good writer: you edit reality just enough to make it work.

I'm in pain. I'm in pain. I'm really in pain. I may have to go and have an inkling.

I've written some bad shit, but this is really bad, bad shit.

I can whine better than anyone else. I've still got to pack.

Put down the underwear. Put down the underwear.

You are awful underwear!

I can't tell. It's too fast and there's hair in my way.

We have a new euphemism.

Porn is everybody's friend. It's the gift that keeps on giving.