The NatPack Takes Toronto

An Exercise in Terror

February 16-18, 1996

Moving orange is easier to see.

Earmuffs are not ridiculous, she's holding an orange dinosaur.

I'm thinking con people.

They're not responding to bobbing orange.

My fingers are numb. I must be a Natpacker.

She's waving the animal.

Sorry, I was trying to reach my hand.

Not all men whine together in bed.

There is no 'right over there' on the map.

Skinner - like, no restraint at all.

I think they're X-filing.

Look, it's a brick!

Quibble, quibble, quibble.

Hey, I'm a Nat-picker!

Is it a milk truck? [while looking at missing children posters on the back of a truck]

Pod, I'm ashamed of you!

Hey, you knew the words, too! [Baywatch theme song]
Did not (blush)!

You don't give it enough oomph.

I'm me.

We got lost at about the six-hour mark.

This was when I had just started wearing a bra.

Squish his head!

That swelling "ooohhh!" has to be there.

What's this I'm drinking?

I've turned my feet over to an Australian lunatic!

What's left but appliances?

Die, scum, die!

Torture, torture, torture!

And...we flashback!

That's almost painful!


He's not going around the back?!

People don't usually carry guns in their desks.


English has gone bye-bye.

It wasn't even the extended-dance-mix angst session.

Now there's a question I don't want anyone to know the answer to.

No, it has nothing to do with his ass.

They do good things with nuts.

Forget love, I'd rather fall in chocolate.

This weekend is an exercise in terror.

I'd have to be bald to sit on her lap.

How do vampires get to the top of the CN tower?

Do we pass any landmarks on Spadina?

We can make some up.

It was a Fu moment.

You've seen one brick wall, you've seen them all.

No pun intended!

I took the next bus out of sanity.

What sound do lemmings make?

I have to blow it.

OK, everyone, tongues out!

Natalie Lambert, Coroner/Dentist!

You only love me for my bits!

I want to find the human body.

Hormones are not to be denied.

The way the skirt falls over his shoulders...did I say shirt or skirt?

Hello, my name is ******, and I'm addicted to Walter Skinner.

You do remember postage is higher to Australia?

Oh, yeah!

Blue Plate?!


Are you doing OK, how's your stomach?

I don't eat the little fishies.

We who are about to cheese, salute you!

I haven't had to use my teeth yet.

Another place my mind doesn't want to go.

Susan Garrett! I know Susan Garrett!

I have kind of this warm, fuzzy feeling inside.

Think maybe it's the cheese?

GT is like life. She happens to you when you have other plans.

Crying is forbidden at breakfast.

We're juiced!

She's gonna blow!

Captain, she canna take much more of this!

We just want to see a french fry come out of your nose.

Cold, beautiful, milk truck!

I turn around, and there's a zipper in my face.

I hate it when that happens. [And, no, this was not Jill! :->]

"Swinging on the Riviera one day,
laying in a Bombay alley next day..."

I hate it when that happens!

This is Canada. They're polite. They say 'excuse me' after they run over you.

We should probably put Jennie in the front, though, because she's the longest.

I love it when Valerie dies.

It's a mirror. Wave!

That's from 1680.
And it still works!

Storage. We're attracted to storage.

Pretty, bright shiny storage! Whoa!

Duel in a box!

That would be why I've never had borscht. I don't do beets. I don't do anything with beets. I don't do anything that has touched beets.

It was probably a good thing she was trapped by the table. She won't make that mistake again. Well, maybe she will. Maybe she's not educable. [Know what? She did! <g>]

Ewwww! It oozes, it oozes!

Why is that man like that?

A whole lot of space suits that are uninhibited.

You have to turn into yourself and go the other way.

Do you square dance, by any chance?

Left is still left, unless you've been holding out on us...

Do not bounce in the elevator.

Sorry, I'm all hot and squishy inside.

Mulder, the last time you did that it was bile.

Violate mine, baby! And don't stop with my civil rights!

Come. Be in the huddle of pain.

Stuff the whole thing, then.

Either that or you could put the head next to the tuckus.

First-season Raisin.

I would have wild, unprotected sex with him.

Oh, yes, a positive butt response.

My A.D. is bleeding on my partner's doorstep.

Pink pharmaceuticals? That would be Benadryl.

Or Kaopectate.
Pepto Bismol?

Nick in a nutshell.

Flashback! Flashback! Run Away! Run Away!

Tactilely funny.


I'm awake now.

We can find a mallet.

He may not have his cell phone on, but he always has his passport.

Your ears are not enunciating yet!

No boob shots!

"If you can't keep your head, it's all right to step away."

Highlander flashback! Highlander flashback!

You deserve a bop from the flying fickle Natpack beastie for that.

We had to go out and hunt and kill the dessert beast.

It's like Clark Kent. --Amy...[remove glasses]...Deb! hair went away!

Ooh, Harrison....ooh, Harrison!!

Oh, yeah, I should have known! He has no lips!

OK, where's Susan and her hair?

Xena is anything but a jiggle fest.

This, on the other hand...

Oh, sorry, Jack.

Don't open it again, Jennie!

Gravity's a bitch, isn't it?

There are some things you can't wrinkle your nose and make rise again.

Yes, Jennie, you can have the R.C.M.P.

I could scan my arm into a computer and get a clean image.

Shoomp! Faster than a vampire!

I did say I liked cream on the table, didn't I?

It's like Dead Man Walking...Tattooed Woman Sliding.

(One cop to the other, in Susan's room): I suppose we'd better be quiet or they'll call the cops on us.

There's a Natmare in my seat and it's eyeing my chocolate.

We're very well behaved.

For us! (in chorus)

Fuck you and the DaVinci you rode in on.

She's coming undone already?

You see, I just don't do pain well anymore - but I love to fling drops of water anywhere.

And she sings when she's doing it.

I can put mascara on from, like, seventeen feet away.

I can't get up but you can come in and get it 'cuz I don't have any pants on.

I'm doing her in the dark.

We are many pedestrians, they are one car. We win.

Deb's reaction after looking halfway through the book, and starting to break into tears: "You are, pardon me, fucking incredibly talented."

My, look at Amparo, in the shy and retiring dress!

It's that toe-walking Hayes broad again.

We would never do that.

Oh, yes we would.
With glee.
With relish.
With ketchup.

RIP Jennie Hayes...she got points.

No, she's a little twisted.

You have not lived until you've scissored your way through an orange.

I seem to know more than I think I should.

I'm pink and fuzzy and I have Snap-Crackle-Pop.

Just take a picture of my torso.

Jill, are you sure you want to do that?
An excellent point.
Two, actually.

Maureen, why don't we move over in the corner since we're going all the way up.

Because I'm not Maureen.

You knew the risks when you signed on.

No, I didn't. I never signed on.

Come back with new X-Files or become one.

Map of Toronto, stud sensor...

Dorian is just misunderstood.

Oh, come on! That's like saying that Nick is a perfectly balanced individual who just needs to work a few things out.

We need to find Jamie's arm.

The Natpack medicates each other.

I don't write my life down, so it goes pfhht!

That is why we are hungry. We ate very early. It is now very late.

Where is Leslie?

In the shower.
Good. She won't know I'm taking her tape.

If you touch it, it may scream and run!

To cage the mighty beast! know you want to. all you can be!

I've developed this appalling habit of using my camera as ballast.

The Toronto Metro PD are now all absolutely certain we are absolutely insane. And they're right.

Schroedinger's car. You got it. A multiplicity of automotive universes.

Yeah, well, I can look like I didn't bother and still bother.

Peripheral vision is our friend, sweetie.

We're blocking the way. We're blocking the way. Big shock.

...which, of course, has to be spelled K-E-W-L guy.

That's what you get for following instructions.

That's what you get for following the Natpack.

We're waiting for the moose.

The blinky-blinky moose.

We've been amusing public transport for days now, haven't we?

Hi! This is where we film, come interrupt us!

See, it's like an elevator. It goes up. It goes down. Up. Down.

Proof that the Natpack can count better than Natalie.

Oooh, ooh, do they have, like, bones?

She'd have to use pitons to get up him.

And there's not a lot of footholds on that man.

Let's walk back to the hotel.

Die, Amy, die!
Amy must die!

Angels in strategic towels.

The holy euphemism.

Anybody want some?

Yeah! What is it?

Maureen, have you lost your socks again?

All I need is operable. I'm going to operate now.

You have pig slippers! You're wonderful! I'm not the only one who's pink and fuzzy.

I wonder who those's were?


Those were not us.

It's a Natpack elevator. It bounces.

I dressed as a Natpacker for Halloween.

Supine Skinner.

Jill needs her own quote list.

With Skinner, all parts are good parts.

My name is Dana Scully. You killed my sister. Prepare to die.

Ooh, Skinner Skinner Skinner Skinner Skinner! Back in his little shirt!

I don't have the time to talk 'cause we're on our way out the door. But what was the question?

I hit my head on it?

Yesss...course, then again, you didn't really look at it.

He's a brick. He's a brick with a cape. He's a brunette brick with a cape.

At least he has a mother.

Now we have two Loises. One is fake and the other has amnesia.

It's a Baywatch interlude.

It is. But with frog-eating.

Oh. That was a fast pencil.

You're occasionally clueless, but I wouldn't say abrasive.

I'll be good...I'll be good after this.

Pretend to understand. It'll come to you.

I can't use a colon properly to save my ass.

I wonder if I ever went through my coloring books saying, "Uh.... it's only a rental."

Would you like us to go out and catch a small furry animal for you to gnaw on?

We're driving three miles by plane. No problem.

His foot is fine. My seat won't go back.