VHBB Conga, Rhumba, Samba, Waltz by Christina Kamnikar (aka Kiki, Chaos, & Auntie Christina) TIME: Diane's Dream on her birthday PLACE: her subconscious Happy Birthday, Diane! After Lisa McDavid's "Dreaming of the Knight" The large group of revellers unsteadily conga-kicked their way out into the street surrounding the Raven, various partiers breaking off to dance by themselves or samba with others. Lacroix could be seen doing a stately tango with Sharon; Diane was now quite sure this was a dream, but it was fun anyway. The music was swinging into a caribbean beat as Susan and Dianne and Janette rhumba'd by with Spark, who Diane remembered dying in "A More Permanent Hell"; somehow the three women were managing to share the male vampire, although he had a faintly scared look on his face. "Diane dahhhhhhhhhhling," someone bumped into her from behind, and the Timekeeper turned to see an obviously intoxicated and weirdly dressed Christina swaying happily to the music. "I have a prezzie for you!" The Mercenary Mommy General held out a pink-wrapped package, and Diane took the opportunity to study one of her erstwhile assailants from War #5 as she unwrapped it. "Chris, why is you hair that shade of yellow? And why are you talking in a phony British accent? And you never drink!" And besides that, you're dressed like a lunatic, Diane didn't add. Red kimonos and Edwardian picture hats only really worked on Audrey Hepburn. "Dianne dyed my hair when she passed sentence on Maureen," Christina said dolefully, still sounding like Joanna Lumley as she fingered one golden curl. "I was perfectly happy as a brunette... alas. Weep! So I'm consoling myself with many, many Mai Tai's. Miklos is such a doll, isn't he?" Lane samba'd by with Alma, and Chris shook her head, sending her large picture hat flopping over one eye. "But I'm getting used to it; everyone thinks I'm just a Clairol-challenged blonde anyway. The Brit accent is to make up for my Kiki bit, dahling. I'm not just a Val-gal, you see. I'm a pretentious Brit, too. How do you like your prezzie?" "It's... absolutely fabulous," Diane said with a straight face, holding up a red micro-teddy with feathers. "Whatever made you think of it?" "Something Dianne said about bunnies," Christina said vaguely, waving to the pogo-stick hopping Morrigna on the other side of the street. "Can't remember. Must dash, dahling. I'm going to tackle Vachon while my hair is still butter-colored. It'll wear off and I'll be back to Natalie-hair eventually, and then I'll be forced to dance with HIM." The MMG pointed at Nick, who was waltzing toward them with Lizbet, who seemed to be stepping on his feet every five seconds. The unsteady Merc Mommy General swayed and samba'd over to Vachon, tripped Sherri, and cut in as the music began to play "Shake, Shake, Shake Senora". "Diane? Did Natalie give you that?" Nick asked in bemusement. "Is she wearing nothing but her lab coat now?" "Uh, nooooo... Never mind, Nick. Just shake it, okay?" Diane threw the teddy toward the nearest garbage can, and she and Nick began to samba down the street. Lacroix went by doing the bunny hop with some Cousins singing "Na nee na nee nah nah, na nee na nee nah! Na nee na nee nah nah, nah nah nah!" with a perfectly straight face. Janette was waltzing with Screed, who was babbling on about new hor'doevres for the Raven. The female vamp appeared to be enthralled with his accent, but Diane knew that couldn't really be the case. It had to be his cologne. Natalie had grabbed Vachon's leather jacket and was now wearing it over the teddy as she demonstrated the "Macarena" to a group of policemen who were leaning against their parked squad car. She was backed up by a group of Natpackers, all of them wiggling and sticking out their hands like demented Shirelles. And the party partied on.