CERK goes AWOL! (3/5)

How Now, Brown Cow?
by Lisa McDavid in cahoots with Christina Kamnikar.

2:53 AM, Monday morning, July 29th

Lisa McDavid smiled dreamily to herself, murmuring.

"They never saw CERK's human cow,
They'd never hoped to see one,
But oh, they'll tell you loudly now,
They'd rather see than be one."

Just then the police dragged Cherri, with her mooer lowing wildly, and
Leslie, still kicking and trying to bite, up to the squad car and thrust
them in. Since they, like Lisa, were handcuffed, they were still sorting
themselves out as the cops climbed into the front seat and drove off. 

Lisa's smile broadened. Cousins June Williams and Will Steeves had
obviously eluded the cops, since all personel were accompanying them back
to town. 

Then Lisa developed a glazed look which normally meant that she hadn't
bothered to put on her glasses in the middle of the night. (Well, somebody
has to have this flashback, and Nick wasn't here ... <g>) 

************************************************************ *************

The long-short, long-short alarm from one of the Cousins' special cell
phones shattered the silence in the operations room. Cousin Debbie Parks,
on the left side of the Cousins switchboard, reached over to the adjacent
pc and clicked on an icon. 

"erica," flashed the computer screen in huge, red letters. 

The special program which automatically dialed Cousin Headquarters when
certain cousins came in contact with certain voices had worked without a
glitch. 

Co-leaders Lisa McDavid and Tok hurried over. Merlin hissed at the
boink-boink-boink sound effect; Willow hid under the nearest chair.  Tok
hit enter and the noise stopped. 

A map of Toronto appeared on screen, with a blinking red cursor to
indicate the cell phone's position. 

Meanwhile Cousin Luz Funtowicz, the other switchboard operator on duty,
suppressed the Nightcrawler feed to the command center. A one-way line
opened from the cell phone in Cousin erica's pocket. 

All but one of the Cousins listened grimly as the plot was relayed.  Lisa
hurried downstairs to the residence accomodations and began to knock on
doors. 

Within five minutes Will Steeves, with Lisa in the passenger seat, drove
out of the Cerk garage in his car.  Leslie "Loose Cannon"  Grant-Smith
followed, at the wheel of Lacroix's Jaguar; Cherri sat beside her and June
Williams covered the rear from the back. 

"Bat out of Hell" was the appropriate cliche for the speed at which they
arrived just over the hill from the CERK transmitter. 
************************************************************ ********

Lisa frowned. "You mean this is the closest we can get?" 

"By car, anyway," Will told her. 

"But it's not something we can just run -- wait a minute!" Too late the
rest of the Cousins noticed that whatever was in the ancient Girl Scout
canteen at Lisa's side had a distinct smell of mangoes. 

Leslie and Will made a grab at the canteen, but Cherri interposed.  "No,
let her get tanked. She does her best work like that." 

"Thanks," said Lisa. "Want some?" 

Great oaks, it's said, from little acorns grow. Certainly the pause while
Lisa and Cherri gulped Zombie Beachcombers was to have far larger effect
than the seconds it took. 

June had time to spot the shed on the other side of the dead end,
investigate it and find the two all terrain vehicles in it. Will had time
to look into Lacroix's Jag, thereby discovering the four-wheel drive
switch. 

It was not, unfortunately, long enough to stop Lisa and Cherri from
noticing the herd of cows in the field beside them. Before the rest of the
Cousins could react, the two clambered over the the fence, and approached
the herd. 

The cows took one look at the bipedal bovine with the sepulcral moo which
was running toward them. A second look was impossible, as all hands --er,
hooves -- stampeded over the hill. 

Cherri and Lisa vaulted onto the backs of two of the coward cows and were
borne swiftly out of sight. Their rebel yells drifted back as the three
remaining Cousins threw themselves frantically into the all terrain
vehicles and Lacroix's now four wheel drive Jaguar. 

Dodge City was never like this. Forty-three hysterical cows charged in
directions which haven't been invented yet as Christina and Jamie
frantically tried to avoid playing tag with hundreds of pounds of demented
hamburger. Will, Leslie and June sped to the rescue, only to find
themselves under fire from an infuriated farmer in an ancient Chevy, the
farmer's son on yet another all terrain vehicle, and local law enforcement
in a squad car.  Cows bawled, engines roared and whined, humans yelled.
Birdshot (mercifully the farmer's shotgun was not loaded with anything
more lethal) sleeted. 

It took three patrol cars and a helicopter from the RCMP to get the
situation under control. 

And the rest, alas, you know.