Thursday, November 9, 1995


THE CASE OF THE DISAPPEARING CORONER
by Sharon Himmanen
(with input from Jennie Hayes)

Time: In the wee hours
Place: The Toronto Morgue

Natalie leaned away from the microscope and rubbed her eyes tiredly. She'd been at this for hours, and felt like she'd only made a little bit of progress. Making a face, she took another sip of coffee, possibly the last in Toronto (which made her think about Sharon and she made a mental note to pick up some Coke and Vivarin. The caffeine was really the issue for Sharon, rather than coffee itself.).

Rising, she stretched her muscles and rubbed her neck, then paused as Grace poked her head into the lab.

"Go home!" Grace ordered sternly.

Nat smiled gently. "Can't," she said. "I still don't have all the answers I need."

Grace moved all the way into the lab and looked at Natalie with no small amount of concern. Then she glanced at her watch. "By my reckoning, you've been at this for over 24 hours. You're exhausted. Go home!"

Natalie picked up her lab notebook and waved at the microscope. "I will," she promised, though it was more to appease Grace than anything else. "I just want to run a few more of these samples."

Sighing in exasperation, Grace glanced at the notes. "So, what have you found?" she asked.

"Well," Natalie said, glancing down at her scrawled handwriting. "It's some kind of LSD derivative. That's hardly surprising, given the types of hallucinations they were having."

"LSD?" Grace echoed quietly. "Who would do something like that?"

Natalie shrugged, her mouth settling into a grim, hard line. "I have some idea of *who*, although I can't be sure, and I can't say right now," she added hastily at Grace's questioning look. "I need to figure out *why* and *how.*"

"And when?" Grace asked.

Natalie shook her head. "I've got that sort of narrowed down. Amy was hypnotized into thinking she was Janette on the 4th. As far as I can tell she wasn't affected. The worst of the symptoms showed up on the afternoon of the 7th, so it must have happened sometime between then."

"But how?" Grace asked. "Something they ate?"

Natalie frowned thoughtfully. "I was just starting to come up with ways to get the drug in, and that's a possibility. I doubt it's airborn. It's not that volatile. Food is a possibility, but I don't think so, given *who* was affected."

"Meaning?"

"Meaning," Natalie reasoned, "that Sharon was the *least* affected, and Valerie was one of the most affected. If it was something in the food, I'd have expected Sharon to be more affected since she tends to eat more, and she wasn't. So I'd have to rule that out."

Natalie paused, staring thoughtfully into space for a moment, then she straightened abruptly. "Water," she said.

"Water?"

"Sharon hardly drinks any, except in coffee. But the others, "Natalie paused, excitedly, grabbing her pencil and scribbling on the paper. "The others drink it all the time. *Especially* Valerie and Jennie. *That's* got to be it." She looked around for a moment.

"I'll give you a hand," Grace offered.

Natalie paused. "No," she said. "You've been here longer than I have. Besides, if I'm right the tests won't take long. I promise I'll go home and get some sleep after that."

"No way," Grace said emphatically, crossing her arms and giving Natalie an I'm-taking-no-prisoners look. "I'm not leaving until you leave."

Natalie sighed with mock exasperation. "You're really such a pain," she admonished.

Grace grinned. "But you love me anyway, right?"

Natalie couldn't help but smile at that, then nodded. "OK, you win," she said, grabbing her purse and slipping off her lab coat. "I'm going home."

Satisfied, Grace nodded, and the two women headed out together.

*****

Natalie didn't mention to Grace that she'd needed to go home for a water sample from her apartment anyway, then had rushed back to the deserted morgue building. Dawn was only an hour or two away.

She was about to prepare some sildes and new samples when she heard a door slam and the sound of feet shuffling outside the lab.

Wondering if it might still be Grace, Natalie set the slides down and moved to the door, sticking her head out into the hallway, intending to admonish her assistant. Instead, she saw several tall men dressed in impeccable black suits heading down the hallway in her direction. Recongizing them as the men who'd approached her earlier, the same types most of her friends had described to her, she ducked quickly back into the lab, twisting the lock. It would buy her only a few minutes, but she had to at least try to hide her notes and samples.

Frantically she looked around the lab for a place to conceal the stuff. A scratching noise sounded at the door, and Natalie realized they were picking the lock. She dropped the notebook into the waste paper basket next to her desk, hoping they wouldn't think to look there, and that Grace spotted it before it got taken out with the garbage, and grabbed the phone, hitting 911.

Before it could connect, the door burst open and three men moved quickly inside. The phone was grabbed from her hand and replaced back in its cradle. Two of them grabbed her arms and shoved her back against the wall. Before she could draw breath to scream, one of them pressed close to her, leaning so close to her face she could feel his warm breath on her cheek. Something cold and sharp pressed against her throat.

"Don't scream," he whispered, and the pressure of the knife increased slightly on her throat in warning. Natalie swallowed and nodded, noting that one of them was obviously searching the lab, starting with her desk. He paused briefly to glance over at them. "Get her out of here before the guard makes another round."

With that, Natalie was whisked out of the lab, out to the street, and into a waiting van.


THE KIDNAPPING
by Torrey Harris
ed. by SL Campbell

Time: Early
Place: Toronto

It was time...the plans had been all worked out and everyone knew what was to happen. The group watched from the shadows as Partly said her goodbyes to Tracy.

"Ok. Sherri, get ready..when she comes by, grab her and get her to the van before she starts to scream," Torrey said, never taking her eyes off of her prey.

<Thump> <Bang> <Slam> ...It was done.... One Perkulator blindfolded, gagged, and hog-tied in the van in nothing flat.

It went about the same for the rest of them...well except for the darn Ravenette and the Cousin. Johanna, our Ravenette victim, could still be heard complaning about her dress...even though we had gagged her...and then gagged her again. Cousin Cherri was another story...Torrey was still suffering from some very sore places on her anatomy where she had received the brunt of the Cousin's counter-attack.

Pulling back up to the church the Vaqueros quickly unloaded their new guests and hearded them all into the old Choir Room. Linda and Crystal quickly tied them all to their respective chairs and removed their blindfolds.

"Now...you all just sit tight, we will be back in a minute," Linda said to the glaring group of faction members.

Stepping out of the room, Crystal and Linda closed the door and faced Torrey. "OK, what now?" they both asked.

"Now...." Torrey said, looking at Vachon. "It is time for our guests to meet Vachon and to give us some answers."

"I still don't know if this is a good idea." Vachon said looking around for a way out.

"It will work just fine," Torrey said, "as long as you try to look a little mean and don't do that 'Deer in the headlights' (tm) thing."

"Me?" Vachon asked, "do What?"

Blink.

Torrey ignored him. Torrey opened the door and let Sherri and the others go inside. She stops Cindy at the door. "Remember, you promised if you are going to lose it in here, you have got to leave before anyone sees you. This will never work with you rolling on the floor laughing!"

"Yes..OK..I will," Cindy said, already suppressing a giggle.

Torrey walked in, followed by Vachon.

"Well, let me introduce you to the group, Vachon," Torrey said, never looking away from the very surprised looking women tied to chairs. "This is Cousin Cherri, and this is Partly, our member of the Tracy faction, Hmmm...this is Johanna..our lucky Ravenette, and this is Elaine, our Natpacker. Oh, and last, but not least, this is MaryAnn, our esteemed Knightie. Now that you have all been properly introduced, they are all yours, Vachon!" Torrey said, pulling up a box.

Vachon looked at the group of women tied up in the choir room and wondered again what he had let himself get talked into. Ok, just look mean, get the information, and then we can let them go. He stood there and looked at them quietly. I can't believe I'm doing this...

"I want to know which one of your factions is responsible for destroying my church," Vachon said in his best 'I mean business' Voice.

No response. Nothing. Not a word. From behind the victims, Crystal and Sherri waved their hands at Vachon and indicated their mouths. Vachon looked from her to the group in the chairs and realised that he had not taken the gags off. Augh, this will *never* work, Vachon thought, as he reached over and pulled the gags off. Immediately the room was filled with shouts, curses, and threats from all of the victims.

"Silence!!" Vachon thundered, and was pleasantly surprised to see that his order had been followed. "I am sure that you all heard my question?" Vachon said, looking down on them. "I want an answer."

"I don't know what you're talking about!" Partly said, looking very confused, and completely non-perky.

"What would I want with this old Church!" Johanna chimed in, still looking miffed about her dress. "It's not stylish *at all*!"

The others just sat there, glaring at him. Torrey motioned Vachon over to the corner.

"Vachon...it's not going to work...they just don't buy the tough guy act," Torrey said, shaking her head.

"I know what will work!" Sherri chimed in. "Have you noticed how they keep trying to sneek a peek at him when he's not looking?"

Torrey, Sherri, the Vaqueros, and Vachon all turn to look at the group, and catch them all trying to sneak a peek at Vachon's derriere when his back was turned.

Blink.

Blink.

"Geeezzz, why didn't I think of that before?" Torrey said, hitting herself on the forehead. "Ok, Vachon...how good are you at flirting?"

Blink.

"Flirting?" Vachon said, with that 'look.' "I *can* flirt." <eyes opening wider, with an innocent expression>

"I just bet you can," Sherri said drily.

"Leave this to me," Vachon said with a slow smile.

Stepping over to Partly, Vachon spoke in a low, intimate tone. "I know this has to be very uncomfortable for you." Before he could say anything else, he was interrupted.

"She's uncomfortable!" shouted Maryann, "What about me?"

"Oh, be quiet, you big baby!" moaned Cherri, "He wasn't talking to you."

"Why don't you both be quiet," shouted Johanna.

"I can't believe I am stuck in a room with you guys," Elaine said, rolling her eyes.

At this point, the Vaqueros and Vachon stepped back and just listened. It was obvious by now that all Vachon had to do was take the gags off, and they would take care of the rest.

"YOU can't believe you are stuck here!" shouted Maryann, "It's your fault we're all here. You Natpackers and your 'little pranks.'"

"Oh...yes, like we did it all!" snapped Elaine. "What about her?" motioning with her chin at Cherri.

"Yeah, yeah, drag me into it," Cherri snarled. "You just can't take the rap by yourself."

"Well, you guys deserve each other!" snapped Johanna. "I didn't do a thing, and now just look at me", she said, motioning to the ropes holding her to the chair.

"Yeah! Well, at least you weren't kidnapped by someone who is supposed to be on your side!" MaryAnn said, glaring at Torrey.

Torrey stepped forward, and motioned for silence. "OK, I think I have learned enough. Partly, Johanna, and Maryann...I think we need to get you all back home."

"Hey, what about us!!", shouted Cherri and Elaine.

"Oh, you'll be going back home also...when we're done with you." Torrey's smile sent shivers down everyone's spine, even Vachon.

Torrey went over and untied Partly, Johanna, and Maryann. She motioned them out of the Choir Room. While one of the other Vaqueros replaced the gags on Cherri and Elaine, Torrey led the released kidnappees outside, and turned to talk to her released prisoners.

"Listen guys, I am sorry for having to bring you here, but we just had to find out what was going on. If I see one more cow disaster in this church, I will go nuts," Torrey said, trying to sound reasonable.

"You are supposed to be on my side in this war! Or did you forget that?" Maryann said hotly.

"No...I didn't forget. You have to understand, Maryann. I knew it had to be someone inside of our alliance. You guys are the only ones who know where I live. My place is so far out in the middle of nowhere nobody else would have been able to find it."

"OK...I guess I can see where you're coming from with that...but kidnapping us?" Maryann asked.

"Well, it worked didn't it?" Torrey said with raised eyebrows. "Listen guys...I am sorry for anything I did to you, and I am going to have Linda take you all directly back to your respective homes. If you want she can even stop and get some lunch for you. Ok?"

"Yes, I guess so," Johanna said, reluctantly.

"Sure, fine with me." Partly answered, becoming perky again.

"I am ready to go back to the loft," Maryann said.

"Listen, Maryann, tell Nick that I will stop by a little later and talk to him.....I kind of need to apologize for the stake in the heart thing..." Torrey said.

Linda got the group back into Sherri's van and headed back toward their homes. Now it was time to deal with the other two. Torrey and Sherri went back into the Choir Room, where Crystal was watching over the captives, and opened the closet. Pulling out their implements of torture they set to work.

***************

"Hmmm...not bad," Sherri said, looking over their work.

"I rather like it, myself!" Torrey said, leaning back with a smile on her face.

Vachon had been hiding his head for the last five minutes trying not to laugh to death. Cindy was rolling helplessly on the floor, attacked by a severe case of the giggles. Crystal was sitting on the floor, attempting to maintain some sort of control. It wasn't easy.

"Well, where do we drop them off?" Sherri asked.

"We don't," Torrey said with a smile. "We let them walk."

Torrey, Sherri, and the Vaqueros stood at the door to the Church and watched the two walk away. A faint "Moooo" could be heard every other step.

"You know..." Sherri said. "I always knew I would have a use for those old cow costumes."

"Yes..." Torrey said, wiping tears of laughter from her eyes. "Where did you find a cow costume with udders?" Torrey asked, starting to giggle again.

"Well, you know, you live in cow country, and the darned things have to be uh, anatomically correct...or you get boo'd udderly off the stage... I liked your idea of attaching the Mooers they sent us, that was great." Sherri said, starting to lose control of her laughter again.

"Yeah," Torrey said, sitting down so she could hold her sides. "I wish them luck getting out of them...you put enough super glue on the zippers."

"Me? Hey, Vachon was the one with the tube of glue!"

At this point, all of the Vaqueros are reduced to fits of laughter on the steps of the church.


LOOSE THREADS
by Kimberley Low

Time: 9am EST
Place: The Raven, Nat's apartment, all over the city

"One more time. Jennie, Leslie, Betsy, Jill, and Valerie are in the hospital recovering from LSD delusions. Selma's catsitting. Sharon, GT, and Kim just unhoodooed me because I've spent the past couple of days believing I was Janette."

"Sounds about right," said Kim. Actually it came out closer to "Zoundsboutright." She and GT were not looking good and they were feeling worse.

"Then where's Amparo!" That would be Amy again.

"Good question." Sharon glared at GT and Kim. She'd been playing babysitter all night and wasn't happy.

"Hey, don't look at us! You were the sober one!"

Kim leaned over and stage whispered, "GT, you're not helping."

And a little louder, "'Kay, you guys phone around, I'll leave you the van and take a cab back to the apartment to see if she's there. Besides, I really want to change these shoes."

"Why? You were hardly in them last night."

"Cool! Sounds like the most normal thing I did all evening!" She flashed Sharon a grin as she walked off in search of a phone.

************************************************************************

Ah, normalcy, sweet normalcy, Kim thought as she walked in the apartment door. Open door. That didn't quite register as something to be wary of. There were benefits to arriving late to a war. So she'd missed the original plotting and the tree frogs; she'd also missed the Jeparody challenge and the fish sandwiches. She'd come to think of Nat's apartment as a sanctuary of sanity. At least when it was empty.

"Maria Amparo Bertram! Y'here?"

The tv was on. That was a good sign at least. Wierd show, though. She found her boots amid the chaos they'd inflicted before going to the Raven.

No wonder Sharon's mad! She must have put that plastic stuff over the tv for protection. Now where is Amparo? The coach looks slept on, maybe she decided the bed would be more comfortable.

And there she was. All curled up in the bed looking as sweet and peaceful as can be. A grin spread across Kim's face. Who says the Cousins are the only ones that can mess with a person's mind. She put on her most irate posture and shook Amparo awake.

"Great move, Amparo. Just leave the front door open, so ELVIS can come strolling in."

Amparo sat bolt upright. "Whowhatwhenwherehow? ELVIS?!!"

Kim started laughing and received the most patently evil look from Amparo.

"I'm sorry. I just figured that if you were as bad off as the rest of us are/were/are recovering from you'd give a good reaction. So where did you go last night? And why was the door open?"

"I haven't a clue. I don't even remember getting into bed. Where is everybody?"

"Well, Jennie, Jill, Leslie, Betsy, and Valerie are in the hospital, they got caught by Nick and Vachon after giving a noncommand performance of Phantom of the Opera at the Raven. Selma's still with Sidney and the rest of them are at the Raven organizing your search party. I want coffee. Do you want coffee?"

"We ran out. There's tea though." The Natpack had come to realize since Kim had shown up that lightning quick subject changes were an integral part of her personality so Amparo wasn't too worried.

Kim walked off to the kitchen.

"POD! WHAT IS THIS!?"

Amparo walked in looking smug and a little different.

"My my my. The 'Pack's been frogged. Won't Uncle be pleased to hear of this."

"WHAT?"

"I wonder how they managed to get all those boxes into the kitchen. Whoever did this was good!"

"Amparo. Maria! What is the matter with you!"

"What are you talking about? And why am I here? I should be with Nick! You're the ones who started this war!"

"Amparo! Snap out of it!"

"Snap out of what? And why are there all these boxes of frozen frogs' legs in the kitchen?"

"I give up. You are going right to the Raven. Sharon's getting good at taking care of the insane. I'll give you to her. Meanwhile, where did you take those fish sandwiches someone sent? I want to get these frogs' legs out of here before they start to dethaw too badly."

It took five trips to get all those boxes into Jennie's car. (Someone who's going into the hospital for an indetermined length of time should not leave her keys in plain view.) As it was there was barely enough room to fit Kim and Amparo into the front seats. (Jen! Get a bigger car!) Amparo was sent off into the Raven and the loving (exasperated?) care of Sharon, Amy, and GT. Kim continued onto the shelter to deliver her goodwill gift.

"Hi! Uh, a couple of days ago my friends received an incorrect order of fish sandwiches and they donated them to you. Well, it happened again and I was wondering if you could use any more?"

"You have more fish sandwiches? That's amazing! We really appreciated the last donation. It was really generous." The woman looked so happy it hurt to let her down.

"Well, actually, it isn't exactly fish sandwiches. We were actually given ten large boxes of frozen frogs' legs."

"Oh. Well, we might be able to take one box. There isn't really that much a demand for frozen frogs' legs, even in a shelter."

Just getting rid of one box was good enough for Kim. For a start at least. In the meantime she still needed to get ahold of some coffee.

YES! A Timothy's. A little more expensive then Second Cup but definitely worth it. Da da da da dada da dada da da dada! Don't worry! Da da da da da dada! Be happy! Da dada da da! Don't worry, be happy now! Where did that come from! I haven't heard that song in ages!

"Hi! I'd like coffee. Any type of coffee you have."

"I guess you haven't heard. There isn't any coffee in all of Toronto. Something about a health scare."

"No coffee? Not even any of that Mochachinno slush you make?"

"Sorry, that's seasonal."

"Seasonal. Right. So you have the hot, mulled cider and cranberry juices right?"

"Well, we have the cider but there in't any cranberry juice to be found either."

"Cider's good. Cider's very good."

Puzzled but happy (Hot drink GOOD! Hot drink HOT!) Kim went off in search of some poor shelter to take the frogs' legs.


TOMORROW MAY NEVER COME
by Selma McCrory

Time: Morning
Place: Nat's apartment

Selma was humming happily as she unlocked the door to Nat's apartment. She'd come back with Sidney, along with two other cats who seemed to have attatched themselves to her. She let Sidney out of his carrier and the other two followed. One of them looked pretty cute in a red hat.

The TV was on. She semi-glanced at it, moving her stuff back to where she had been sleeping over a week before. That was, before everyone seemed to be allergic and she had been elected to catsit.

That done, she went to look at what was airing on the TV. Evidently, someone had left a tape on. And someone didn't want the TV being bashed in. Wise choice. She didn't recognize the series, other than the bunch obviously were having some kind of problem and had very British accents. 70's British SF, she decided.

Nobody else was in, otherwise she would have asked what they were seeing. So she, being a science fiction fan in general, sat down and watched. The tag to the episode had come on. The credits weren't familiar, so she waited to see what was on next.

And then she knew. Despite having never seen the 1970's version of the Tomorrow People, she recognised the credit sequence from a video-only MPEG that she'd found. And then she recognised the episode that had come on.

"A Man for Emily," she muttered. The *worst* episode of the series, ever, shunned so completely that even new fans knew about it. She watched as Peter Davison, in silly silver wig, ran around in his underwear.

She went to turn it off, or at least change the channel. She found out that it was the VCR, but since it was enclosed too, she couldn't do it. She had a sneaky suspicion of who was responsible. Wendy. The only person who knew she was a big TP fan. And that would mean that neither the TV nor the VCR would have a remote.

She sighed, and went to go out - only to find that she was somehow locked in. Same with the windows. No phone, either. But no one had blocked the phone outlet. She took her computer and her phone cord out of her bag, connected to Nat's account, then to her own, and then started to send out S.O.S's.

Wendy had underestimated her. She had food, she had books, she had her walkman and tapes, and at last she could see that version of the series. And the list was still spewing 10 copies of everything. Of course, so far that had meant only Wendy's story and Jez's fragments, but maybe it would get worse. She hoped so.

And someone, she hoped, would come to her rescue soon.


MOON OVER TORONTO
by Leslie and Jill Kirby

Time: Late night
Place: Nat's apartment

"I need like *three* Extra Strength Tylenol for this headache," said Jill as she unlocked the door and ran to Nat's bathroom, nearly tripping over a sleeping bag in the process.

"Grab a couple for me," called Leslie.

Leslie surveyed Nat's living room. What a mess. The Natpack, despite their reputation for organization, could do some serious damage to their living space. Nat had been more than gracious to put up with not only suitcases and sleeping bags all over her living room, but stuffed animals, crumbled T-shirts, plastic water bottles, left over fish wrappers, pieces of make-shift costumes, and old Kleenexes. I can't stand it. I need some order here.

"Here you go." Jill handed two Tylenol to Leslie.

"Thanks. Let's see if Nat has something to drink left in her frig so we can take these. Then, we *clean* this place. I don't want Nat coming back to this mess."

"You're right. It's clean up time. Why don't you get started, and I'll find something to drink," said Jill.

"Was it just me or did that taxi smell." Leslie called after Jill, who was already rummaging through the refrigerator.

"Yeah, which is really odd because cabs here are usually so clean," yelled Jill.

"Maybe it's just the after effects of the drug," sighed Leslie weakly.

"What did you say?" Jill came out of the Kitchen holding a Diet Coke.

"Nothing. Is that it?" Leslie looked at the can in Jill's hand. "You know I don't drink soda."

"Well, this is it, girl. Take it or leave it," said Jill flatly.

***

After just an hour, Leslie and Jill had manage to pick up all the trash in the apartment, place any dirty clothes in Nat's laundry basket, and straighten the sleeping bags so the floor was actually visible.

"There," sighed Leslie as she plopped down on the couch, "we just have one more thing."

"What? This is the best we can do without the others," said Jill, who'd just finished her Diet Coke. "Where is everyone anyway?"

"I don't know, but I'm sure we'll hook up with them later," said Leslie. "Now, we have one more clean up job."

"And that is?" Jill looked at Leslie suspiciously.

"I think it's time we returned Laura's Moon Over Miami tapes and arrange to have the tattoo removal solution delivered to Jamie."

Leslie rose from the couch and picked up the phone. After several rings, her brother answered groggily, "Hello?"

"Brooks, it's me."

"Leslie, it's after 1 am. This better be good," said Brooks angrily.

"It is. I need you to retrieve something for me and deliver it to Laura's...." Leslie told Brooks where he could find the tapes and gave him directions to Laura's.

"Thanks, Brooks."

"You owe me big, Les," said Brooks, "and I'll collect."

Leslie hung up the phone and turned to Jill. "Your turn."

***

Shortly after Jill and Leslie crashed for the night, weary Natpackers filed through the door of Nat's apartment. Sharon and GT entered first, followed by Amy and Elaine.

"It's not a good sign when anyone can just walk into Nat's place, and nobody moves," said Sharon catching sight of Leslie and Jill in their sleeping bags.

"I'm surprised they were released so soon," whispered Amy. "Let's try not to wake them."

"That won't be hard to do," said Sharon wryly.


Friday, November 10, 1995


NO SIGNS OF STRUGGLE
by Sharon Himmanen & Jennie Hayes

Time: Morning
Place: Natalie's apartment

The shades were drawn, the room was in semi-darkness, and over half a dozen half-asleep bodies were strewn all around the living room of Natalie Lambert's apartment. When the sound of a phone ringing shattered the preturnatural quiet of the room, nearly all its occupants winced in pain. Elaine was the first to silence the offending sound by rising quicker than she should have and snatching the phone from its cradle.

"What?" she mumbled into the phone.

"Who's this?" a feminine voice demanded.

"Elaine," she managed to mumble. "Who's this?"

"It's Grace. Have you seen Natalie?"

"Have I seen Natalie?" Elaine repeated, wincing.

"Don't talk so loud," Jill moaned from somewhere nearby.

"Yeah, Natalie. You remember her, medium hight, hazel eyes, lots of curly brown hair. Ring a bell?"

"I hope not. My head hurts," Elaine replied, her mind still fuzzy. Most of the NatPackers, while they'd been released from the hospital after overnight observations, were far from their best, most suffering from dizziness, headaches, or both.

Grace sighed in exasperation. "Look, this is serious. Can you put someone on who's more awake?"

"More awake?" Elaine asked. Just then Sharon emerged from the kitchen and took the phone from Elaine's hand.

"I've got it," she said, then ducked back into the kitchen, closing the door. "Grace, it's Sharon."

"Good! Have you seen Natalie?"

Sharon thought for a moment. "No," she said, shaking her head. "Not since I saw her at the hospital early Wednesday morning. Though I think she stopped by here yesterday sometime. I vaguely remember her coming in for a glass of water or something, but I was pretty tired."

"*When* was that?" Grace asked. "This is really important."

Sharon thought for a moment. "It was still dark. Thursday morning I think. I remember she almost tripped over Amy. I don't remember her leaving, though."

Grace sighed. "She must have gone home for a water sample or something."

"Grace, what's going on? Water samples?"

"Natalie said that someone slipped you guys an LSD derivative and she thought it might have been in the water."

Sharon nodded. "She's probably right. When we got home yesterday, all the faucets were running. We just figured someone had attacked us. Maybe whoever it was was flushing out the system."

"I think you'd better get over here," Grace said solemnly. "Natalie hasn't been in to work for 24 hours and you say you haven't seen her since yesterday. I don't like it."

"Have you called Nick?"

"Yeah, just a little while ago. He says he hasn't seen her either, but he thinks she might be avoiding him."

"OK, I'll be right over." Just as she was about to hang up she heard Grace's voice over the phone, trying to get her attention. "What?"

"I don't suppose you'd have any water there we might test, left over?"

Sharon thought for a moment, then looked down at the garbage can next to her. "I might."

She hung up the phone, took a long sip of Coke, wondering for the hundredth time just who had cut off the coffee supply. She'd searched Nat's apartment and found half a bag of beans and a jar of instant which she was hoarding, making do as much as she could with Coke and caffeine pills. If things weren't so crazy right now she'd try to get to the bottom of the coffee situation, sure that one of the factions was behind it. But there just wasn't time.

Rooting quickly through the garbage, which they'd also not had time to empty for the last couple of days due to the ensuing chaos, she dug out several old coffee filters and dropped them into plastic bags she found in the cupboards.

Then she went out into the living room and threw the curtains open, which earned her several loud protests, and Amy sat up, her eyes closed, and began signing frantically at her. Sharon walked over several groggy bodies and grabbed her hand. "Nat's missing," she all but yelled. "Get up! We've got to meet Grace at the morgue in a few minutes."

That seemed to rouse everyone but Amy, who tried to lie back down sleepily. Sharon grabbed the top of her sleeping bag and yanked it back. "I'm serious, Amy! Up, up, up! Nat's missing. This is very, very bad!"

*****

Time: Morning
Place: The Morgue

With one a quick detour at the hospital, the group trouped into the morgue by late morning. They found Grace standing in the middle of a more or less orderly looking lab, but something about Grace's expression when she saw them worried the assembled group.

"This place has been searched," Grace announced.

Leslie looked around. "It looks fine to me."

"It was subtle, but thorough," Grace insisted. "She . . . she had a notebook where she was keeping her test results. She always leaves those things on her desk." Sharon cast Grace a guarded look, a bit worried that Grace knew that. But Grace continued. "Now, usually, I don't have any reason to go through her things, but the notebook's not even there! I've looked everywhere for it, even went through the garbage. She'd never be that careless with a lab notebook."

"Maybe she took it with her," Jill said, walking over to the desk and shuffling through a few folders.

"Then where?" Grace asked. "You guys know as well as I do that if she's not at home, and she's not at work, and Nick hasn't seen her, she's missing."

"Have you called the police?" GT asked.

Grace nodded. "I let Nick know. I'm not sure how seriously he took this, but he *does* know." She looked pointedly at the group, letting them know that whatever was going on, she didn't find it funny any more. Neither did they.

Sharon nodded. "We should go and talk to him," she said. "Oh, here," she said, handing Grace the bags of coffee filters and water bottle. "The coffee filters might contain some of the stuff, and that's the water bottle Valerie filled at Nat's right before everything went crazy."

"I'll get right on these," Grace said, taking the items from Sharon's hands.

"Well start searching for any clues as to where Nat might be, "Sharon said, as the other looked around with worried expressions on their face.

"And we'll try to talk to Nick and some of the others. I think it's time we filled everyone in on what we know," Leslie added. The others nodded in agreement.


YOU CAN NEVER FIND YOUR TWO-LEGS WHEN YOU NEED HER
by Kimberley Low

Place: Toronto/Ballymoresk

These two-legs really know how to screw things up, don't they? Me and Halloween were able to convice Toggle to take us to Sydney. I even got him to lend Halloween his cap. We decided on elastic since Halloween didn't want a big bow under his chin. He was upset enough that he'd have to wear it for a week for him to sufficiently get used to the Sight for it to be permanent. You should have seen him when Selma, that was Sydney's temporary two-legs, tried to take it off!

Oh, yeah, Sydney was fine. When we got there he was living like a king! Between the fish in the plastic container, the hotel's drapes, and her clothing, Sydney had that Selma-person willing to give him anything. Including permisson for two friends to stay with him.

And when we finally got back to Sydney's apartment, guess what. They'd lost Sydney's person! Something about a kidnapping by men in black.

Now all these people keep coming in. Sydney says they're friends of his two-legs and they mean well. He says they might even be able to find her if they stay focussed. Then he mumbled something about seeing the same attention span when the neighbor's ferret got into all that coffee.

"Any luck finding Nat so far? I was finally able to get rid of that final case of frog's legs but I didn't hear anything of use along the way."

Uh oh. What's SHE doing here? I knew she was coming to Toronto but I didn't expect her to be here!

Halloween! What are we going to do?!

It's OK, kitten. Maybe Selma won't mention us in detail. Just keep out of sight.

"Kim, do you know where the 204 and 613 area codes are for?"

It's that Selma person again. Halloween never looks panicked but he does now!

"204's for Manitoba and 613's for Ottawa. Why do you ask?"

"When I was taking care of Sydney two cats latched onto me. The bigger one's collar has a 613 area-code and the smaller one's collar has both the 613 number and a 204 number. Both have really wierd names. Halloween and Angus Mid-hir."

"It's pronounced Mithir."

Good, she sounds distracted, maybe she won't notice.

"Wait a minute, did you say Angus Midhir and Halloween? They're here?!"

"They should be. I saw them running off to the bedroom when you walked in."

She's coming in!

"An-gus! Hallowe-en! I know you're in here! You might as well come on out."

Oh, well. Halloween looks resigned so I guess I should be too.

OK, kitten. I'll go out first then you follow. She hasn't seen me in awhile, maybe it'll soften her up.

"Purr-ow?"

"Mew-ow."

"What are you two doing here? How did you get here?"

She needs more practice carrying two cats at once. This isn't all that comfortable.

"What do you feed that black cat?!"

"Very funny. This is Halloween. He lives with my parents in Ottawa. This is Angus Midhir. He lives in Brandon with me. Any ideas on how they got here?"

"None. <Achoo> Meanwhile we have still got to find Nat. You coming, Kim?"

"Yeah. Sure. I'll be with you in a second. OK little ones, I have to go but be good while I'm gone."

Uh huh. Yeah. Long nails. Right there behind the ear. Hey! Wait a minute! Where do you think you're going! You call that a scratch? She left me again! We really need to work on that. Of course these other people look really interesting. Just walk right up and see their eyes water and their nose go all itchy.

Midhir get over here! We need to figure out a way to find Natalie.

Yes, Sydney. I'm coming.

Would these vampires be considered part of that Unseelie court Toggle was worried about?

Well, the Seelie court thinks so but most of the Community, as they like to call themselves, don't really believe in the Sidhe and those that do don't really want to be considered part of it.

But the Laird of Ballymoresk does keep an eye on them, right?

Probably.

Good, then that's where we'll go. If it is these men in black then they'll probably have drawn the attention of those watching the vampires. Now we just have to figure out a way of getting out of here.


PAYING THE PIPER
by Sharon Himmanen (and the NatPack)

Time: Evening
Place: Nick's loft

They'd buzzed, like any good and polite visitors. MaryGT didn't like the fact that they'd taken quite a few minutes before the door buzzer sounded admitting them into the building.

"They were a bit too reluctant to let us in," GT observed. "I have a bad feeling about this."

"Well, what can you expect," Sharon said morosely. "We haven't exactly been forthright with everyone, now have we?"

"They wouldn't have listened to us if we'd been direct, you know that."

"The Ravenettes and the Cousins might not have, but the Knighties probably would have." Sharon paused, realizing what she'd just said, and shrugged at GT's astonished look. "Lets just hope it's not too late to fix it."

The elevator door slid aside, and the two NatPackers were greeted by a ring of Knighties, the expressions on their faces quite dubious. They all stood like that, no one moving, glaring at them, and Sharon felt decidely uncomfortable at the outright hostility. The tension in the room was palpable.

Until a male voice, from somewhere back in the room sounded softly. "Let them in," Nick said. As if on cue the Knighties slowly parted, allowing Sharon and GT to move forward, into the loft. Sharon noted that most of their handiwork from what seemed like so long ago had been cleaned up.

"Where's Natalie?" Nick asked, and his voice was low and dangerous.

"We don't know," GT said evenly.

Nick's eyes narrowed. "I don't believe you," he said. At that, Nick moved and began to circle them. The gathered Knighties stood back, giving him room, and waited.

"Why don't we see where we stand." He moved behind them but Sharon resisted the urge to turn to face him. "You attacked all these people, you ransacked my loft, you . . . painted my Caddie pink." Nick paused at that, his voice getting slightly rough with emotion. "You stole from me." He moved to stand in front of them again, but only for a moment, before he was moving again, restlessly. Sharon had to admit she felt like the was being stalked. "And I can only assume that Natalie was a willing party. Give me one good reason why we should listen to you?"

"A very good reason," Sharon countered. She dared to turn her head to look at him, and tried to keep herself from glaring at the circling behavior and not quite succeeding. She suddenly understood why he did it. It was damned unnerving. "You know it would have to be, for Natalie to have been a party to this. But," she paused, looking down on the floor, "she didn't like it. *We* convinced her, so you should blame us, not her."

He stopped behind them, and Sharon felt a cool hand on her shoulder. The touch was light, but there was a menace to it. "So now you have a story to tell," he all but whispered. "But there's only one story I'm interested in right now, and it's called The Truth." He gave her a small shake to emphasize his words. "And I trust that's exactly what we're going to hear right now," he continued, "because I'm in no mood for fiction."

Sharon drew a deep breath, and with one last look at GT, she started talking.

"Right," she said, nodding, relieved that he was at least willing to listen. "A couple of weeks ago Natalie was approached by several men. Dark suits, dark glasses. They came to the morgue one night when it was pretty deserted."

"Enforcers?" Nick asked, almost fearfully, his voice clipped and hard. GT shook her head. "Natalie said they were mortals. She can always tell, you know."

Nick nodded. "Go on. What did these men want?"

"They wanted to know about any suspicious deaths she might have run into over the last couple of years," Sharon said, looking up at Nick. "Exsanguination, strange wounds. That sort of thing. Nat said they weren't exactly being subtle about what they were really interested in."

"But neither did they come right out and say it, either," GT added.

Sharon nodded, glancing back over at GT.

Nick shook his head. "I don't believe you," he said. "She would have told me about something like this." He glared directly at them.

Sharon stared back at him, looking him right in the eyes. "She tried," she said finally. "But she said you wouldn't listen. Nat didn't go into a lot of the details, but she said you'd been awfully preoccupied."

At that, Nick looked away, guiltily, running a hand quickly through his hair. A slight murmur rose among the Knighties.

"Anyway," Sharon continued, raising her voice slightly to be hard above the small din. "Anyway, they didn't press, although she said they came back about a day later and wanted to go through her files. She managed to put them off."

"At about the same time," GT said, picking up the story, "Leslie, Jill Kirby, Sharon, and Amparo Bertram were all also approached by similar looking men and asked a lot of questions."

"Questions? Like what?"

"Like, did I know anyone with strange allergies to the sun, or someone whom I'd never seen eat, or seen out in the sun. Things like that," Sharon replied. "We think they're hunters."

"Other members of the NatPack were followed on several occasions. We notified Natalie. *That's* when she decided to get us all up here, reasoning that we'd all be safe if we were all in one place where we could watch each other's back."

"We tried to play it like she didn't know anything," GT added. "In case anyone else was listening in."

"So, you staged all those pranks," Nick said finally, a small note of disgust creeping into his voice.

"Yeah. Nick, you have to believe us. Our only intention was to get everyone up here, and get them to pay attention to what was going on around them. That's why we also sent out the calling cards. We figured everyone would see for themselves and we could get the situation under control."

"And instead, everything got really out of hand," Nick said sarcastically.

"We know," Sharon said, looking down at the floor again. "Believe me, we know," she added, thinking about the effects the drug had had on her friends. "That was our mistake. We underestminated people's capacity for chaos. The Cousins didn't care *why* they'd been attacked. All they cared about was getting even. The Ravenettes only cared about getting the Raven back. The Mercs just want to make money. And most of the other groups just ended up playing the retaliation game." Sharon paused and looked around at the group. "We screwed up."

"And Natalie?" Nick asked.

"Is *really* missing," Sharon said, and there was no mistaking the worry in her tone. "As near as we can figure, she's been gone since very early Thursday morning."

When Nick continued to look doubtful, Sharon finally lost patience. "Come on!" she exclaimed. "Would we . . . would *she* worry you like that? Would she not come to visit her friends in the hospital? Would we *drug* ourselves with a dangerous LSD derivative, just to prove a point? We're telling you the truth here. We need your help!"

Nick glanced over at Perri who slowly nodded. Nick looked back at Sharon and GT. "I can't speak for everyone here," Nick said. "But I believe you. Natalie wouldn't be a party to a scheme that would needlessly worry me. But," he said, glancing around at the Knighties, some of whom were clearly skeptical. "We'll discuss what you've told us. Go back to Nat's. We'll call you."

Sharon and GT exchanged quick glances. "Thank you," Sharon said sincerely, realizing that under the circumstances this was better than could be expected. Nick believed them, which meant that it was only a matter of time before the Knighties were with them as well. That would increase their numbers substantially. "Thanks," she said, and gave Nick a genuine smile of relief. "We'll be waitaiting."

They were almost out the door, when Nick cleared his throat. Sharon turned, a knot settling in the pit of her stomach.

"About the de Brabant Foundation funds that you stole," he said, emphasizing the last word. "You do realize I could have you all arrested."

Sharon and GT silently nodded. Glancing over at GT, Sharon looked back at Nick. "We'll pay it back. It'll take--"

Nick cut her off sharply. "Not to mention the very personal reasons I have for having that account set up the way it is."

"We know, which is why we didnidn't touch the account proper," GT said. It was a lame excuse and they all knew it.

Nick mulled that over for a moment, then seemed to reach some decision. "The Porphyria Foundation is very grateful for the generous donation," he said finally. "It seems they get very little media attention that translates into financial support. An anonymous patron with deep pockets will do a lot for them. Thank you for brinnging it to my attention."

Sharon stared back at Nick, feeling more guilty at that moment than she could ever remember feeling in her entire life, which warred with a sudden flare of resentment over the fact that he was being so nice about this. She looked away, clearing her throat, knowing that she at least owed him a big one and pissed that that little smirk on his face could only mean that he knew it too.

"Now go on," Nick said. "You'll hear from us."

With that, the elevator door slid shut and started descending to the street.


Saturday, November 11, 1995


PERKULATORS NOT PERCULATORS
by Sharon Himmanen and PartlyK

Time: Morning
Place: A coffee shop

Sharon ducked into the almost deserted coffee shop and spotted Tracy and Partly seated in the corner, holding an animated discussion over two steaming cups. She approached the table cautiously, then cleared her throat when she was a few feet away.

"Sharon," Tracy said brightly, tucking a strand of blond hair back behind one ear. "Hi! How are your friends doing?"

"They're fine," Sharon said, looking intently at the cups.

"Would you care to join us?" Partly asked.

"Uh, sure," Sharon said. "Are these . . ." she asked almost forlonrly, indicating the mugs of dark liquid.

"Unfortunately no," Tracy said solemnly. "It's tea. Would you like some?"

Sharon made a face. God, what she wouldn't give for a fresh, hot cup of coffee right at the moment. Pulling her attention away from that, she focused on the task at hand. "I 'm glad I found you. I need to talk to you." She paused and glanced over at Partly. "Both of you."

*****

Sharon related nearly everything she'd told the Knighties to the two women, answering questions whenever Tracy asked yet careful to make certain she didn't reveal too much about what Nick was or the exact reason why Natalie might be of interest to these men.

"Well, why didn't Nick put an APB out on Nat?" Tracy asked in exasperation.

She'd been barely phased at Sharon's confession that she'd been the one to rig Tracy's computer to say "I'm a *good* cop," a weeks ago. In fact, Sharon was somewhat amazed at the other womans aplomb as she watched her mind focus on the problem at hand.

"I think he wants to take care of this himself," Sharon cautioned. "I think the situation is fairly delicate."

"Espionage?" Tracy asked, almost hopefully. "Interpol, CIA, that sort of thing? Now why would they be interested in Natalie?"

"Could it be because Nat's the coroner?" Partly asked.

"And maybe she saw something she shouldn't have," Tracy added, suddenly growing excited. "A very suspicious death, someone who wasn't what everyone thought he or she was. It would make sense, given that they were asking her all those questions about suspicious deaths." She rose. "Come on, Partly. We've got work to do."

As the two women moved away, Sharon tried to protest, realizing they'd gone off on a wild, yet given what she'd told them, completely reasonable tangent. But they'd dropped a few dollars on to the table and exited before Sharon couloulould really get a word in edgewise, and she finally gave up.

"Oh, boy," she said. Why is it, she thought, things kept going from bad to worse here.

Suddenly Partly was back by her side. "Listen, Sharon. These people wouldn't have anything to do with... well, you know..." Partly looked around. "The fact that Nick and Vachon are..."

"Vampires?" Sharon filled in.

Partly nodded.

Sharon nodded. "I'm wasn't sure how much she knew, but yes, this probably has something to do with vampire. Or rather, vampire *hunters* I should say." She quickly filed Partly in on the men who had approached Natalie and members of the NatPack and the leading questions about vampires they'd asked, and how they'd all been followed on several occasions.

Suddenly Tracy stuck her head back in the door letting a blast of cold air sweep through the small shop. "Partly, let's go."

Sharon watched them go, shivering at the cold and not sure if things were any better than when she first came in. Now was not the best time to be cold and worried. Especially when there wasn't a decent cup of coffee to be had in the entire city of Toronto.


A PIECE OFFERING
by Jill Kirby, Leslie and the Natpack
with the kind permission of Pam Rush and Christine Hawkins

Time: Lunchtime
Place: The Happy Souvlaki Deli

Jill stood in front of the Happy Souvlaki deli, unmoving. She had one hand on the door but hadn't pushed it open. She just stood there, eyes shut, looking really stupid.

"Jill?" Leslie poked her in the back. "Are we going in, or do you want to stand out here all night?"

Jill didn't open her eyes. "This isn't going to be easy. I hate conflict." For a moment, she longed for home. This War stuff was not quite what she had expected--she'd had to attack friends; gotten drugged with LSD and made an even bigger ass of herself than she usually did; been kidnapped and had LaCroix way too close for comfort...

"Well, we have to tell them," said Leslie, interrupting her reverie. "Besides, we have this..." she indicated the box she held under one arm. "It should help smooth the way."

Jill brightened. "True." Drawing a deep breath, Jill entered the deli, Leslie behind her. It was full of customers happily noshing on all kinds of food, and both Leslie and Jill heard their stomachs rumble at the smells inside. Neither had eaten for quite a while. While they were on LSD, all they had wanted was junk food, and since their "detox" most of the Pack had been too queasy to eat at all. But now their noses quivered at the smells--tomato, garlic, fresh bread, and spices that their uneducated palates couldn't even begin to identify.

A curly-haired woman came toward them. "Would you like a table?" She thought that the two newcomers looked vaguely familiar, but she didn't think they'd met. These days, everyone in Toronto looked familiar.

"You must be Pam," said Jill. As a second woman, a blonde wearing glasses, walked up behind Pam, Jill smiled. "And you must be the other A-negative FoD."

Christine looked at them suspiciously. "You are..."

Leslie stuck out her hand. "I'm Leslie, and this is Jill Kirby."

Both Christine and Pam shot them looks of pure displeasure and backed away a few steps. "You're Natpack," said Pam. "What are you doing here?"

Christine ignored Pam's logical greeting. "PLASTIC FOOD! YOU SENT US PLASTIC FOOD!" Christine was so indignant that Jill expected to see steam come out of her ears.

"We did it for a good reason!" insisted Leslie. "And that's why we're here."

Pam was patting Christine on the shoulder. "Think about calming things, Christie," said Pam anxiously. "Hot chocolate...cookies right out of the oven..."

"Tea with lemon and honey and whiskey in it..." said Christine faintly, visibly beginning to calm down.

"Now would be a good time to pull out our peace offering," whispered Jill to Leslie. Leslie nodded, and opened the box with a flourish.

Everyone gasped (even Jill and Leslie, who had seen it before but were now really, really hungungry). It was a cake-- b- but not just a cake. A work of art. Any merc worth his or her salt would have climbed the CN tower for it. At least four layers. Light, dark and white chocolate frostings, marzipan fruit in spun sugar baskets, real whipped cream...

Leslie's and Jill's stomachs both growled. Loudly.

Pam and Christine stared at the cake for a moment, their anger vying with their hunger for the cake. When Christine finally looked up at them, the Natpackers saw true forgiveness in her expression. "Would you... would you like a piece while we talk?"

Over cake (accompanied by icy cold skim milk, of course) Jill and Leslie detailed why the Natpack had done what they'd done. The men who'd contacted the Natpackers in their various cities, asking the strange questions about vampires; the realization that everyone in the Pack had been contacted, including Natalie; their trips to Toronto...

"And now, Natalie's gone." Leslie ate a marzipan banana in a single bite. It was a relief to be able to eat something without having it turn into a giant, glowing green toad.

"Gone where?" asked Pam. She was still somewhat distracted-- she was mentally analyzing the filling between the cake layers, and wondering if it was something they could duplicate. They had the technology...

Jill pushed the plate away from her. This topic killed even her insatiable lust for sugar. "Kidnapped. No one has claimed responsibility yet."

"Cousins," said Christine darkly. "It's usually the Cousins."

"No," said Jill, shaking her head. "I don't think so. Besides, they're awfully by busy fighting over the Raven and CERK."

"Such a shame," sighed Pam. "Natalie is a great customer." She paused. "Well," she said practically, eyeing the cake that was left, "If you don't have anywhere else to go right now, I've a dessert wine I've been dying to try out. Any takers?"

Leslie and Jill didn't leave the deli for quite some time. After all, Natpackers and FoD's have a great deal in common.


END PART EIGHT

[NatPack War5 Stories]