Place: Toronto to Brandon

I woke up in Nat's apartment.

God only knows how we got back here. I guess I should think about getting home. And for that matter getting the cats home. The emergency account is going to take a beating today.

I got up and started packing. There was one thing missing. Halloween. Angus was fine and normal. At least normal for Angus.

"So Angus, where's Halloween?"

"Mew-ow."

"You're helpful."

Thirty minutes of frantic searching later I decided to call home.

"Hi, Dad! How's everything there?"

"Oh, fine, everyone's doing well."

"Dad, you're lying. You're just about as bad at it as I am. It's one of those genetic things."

"Well, Halloween had been gone for about a week but he showed up this morning and he looked like he had been taken care of."

"So he's home?"

"Yeah, he gave your mother quite a fright but everything's fine now. So how's school?"

I wasn't kidding about my problems with lying, especially to my parents.

"Oh... About as well as can be expected."

Don't I remember explaining equivocation to my sister when she was taking MacBeth?

"Have you gotten any tests back lately?"

"I can honestly say that I haven't. I really have to go now. I just called because I wasn't sure if I'd get another chance today."

"OK. Take care."

"Bye, give my love to Mom and Trace."

So Halloween was home. I had no idea how he got there but I wasn't going to try and figure it out. I had had quite enough weirdness to last me for the longest time. Or at least until the next war.

Time: Noon
Place: Nat's Apartment

"I never want to hear another song from the Sound of Music as long as I live," complained Leslie. "In fact, I'm burning the soundtrack when I get home. Besides, I don't want to ever have to yodel again."

Leslie was packing for the drive home. She wasn't sure if Sharon was up for the drive home with her. Heck, she wasn't sure she was up for it. In the last two weeks, Leslie had been stalked, brought before LaCroix, drugged, and cornered by one two many angry cousins.

"I can't believe Laura finagled another convention out of me, not that it will be a *chore* to go. Besides she'd get a chance to see Sheila and Sarah, and Sharon if she promised not to sing or halucinate," Leslie smiled to herself. "And poor Jill, she has to write a LaCroix love story."

Now it was time for last minute good byes. It *had* been a nice little war.

Time: Noon
Place: Natalie's apartment

Natalie Lambert looked up the stairs of her apartment building, not quite managing the surprise one might otherwise expect. Natpackers perched everywhere on the stairs, chatting animatedly.

"I thought you all intended to leave over three hours ago," Nat said with a smile. "So what is all this?"

"Well, we got out of your apartment about an hour and a half ago...and the cars are all packed!" Amy said brightly. "Betsy and Amparo left in a limo the other night, and we got a rental car to replace Di's."

"And GT rented a car to take herself, Elaine, Selma and Kim where they needed to go when the time came. They'd planned to spend the day in the city." Leslie added.

"Yeah, and then we started talking. I'd say this isn't quite as bad as the lengthy conversation we had in the bathroom at the end of MediaWest. It's this problem we have with saying goodbye and going home," Jennie explained. "We never want it to end."

"Well, this time it was a good thing you didn't head straight out. Sharon, could I see your bag first?" Nat replied.

"Why? What are you gonna do?" Sharon said suspiciously, although she handed the bag to Natalie as she said it.

Nat brought out a notebook. "I stuck this in here before the party last week. You are probably going to want your lab notebook. I've got that stashed inside. I think. Unless you moved it while you were packing."

"No, we were very careful not to move your stuff around this time," Valerie informed her with a chuckle. "We didn't want to cause any more panic."

"Well, hang on and I'll go fetch it."

Natalie looked around her apartment in wonder when she opened the door. You wouldn't know the 'pack and their belongings had been spread out through all her rooms from the way it looked now. It was depressingly empty, in fact. She headed into the bedroom to the closet, and opened it. Something looked a bit strange, but she felt up on the shelf and came out with a notebook almost identical to the one she'd pulled out of Sharon's bag, promising herself to come back and check it later. She headed back out to the stairs. "Here ya go. Everything should be in there."

Sharon flipped through the notebook briefly before stowing it in her bag. "Thanks."

"Since you're home, do you have time to go to dinner? It doesn't really make sense for us to hit the road if we're gonna have to stop an hour later. We might as well eat first," Jennie suggested hopefully.

"And it's an excuse to stay and visit just a bit longer," GT said enthusiastically.

"Well, I suppose we could. It will be nice not to have to spend the whole time looking over my shoulder for those hunters. I understand most of them wound up under psychiatric observation. Common consensus was that the wounds on their necks had been self inflicted years ago so they would have realistic scars, and that combined with their attack on the whole crowd at the auction was enough to convince quite a few people that they were completely 'round the bend." Natalie informed them with a wry smile. "Let's go."

"So, did your place look OK to you? We tried to get it as clean as possible," Leslie asked.

"Oh, it's fine!" Nat answered. "I wouldn't have thought you could get it that clean ever again!" She glanced at Jennie, GT and Amy suspiciously. Was it her imagination, or had the three of them relaxed visibly when she said that? "Of course, I only got the brief glimpse of it." Nope, no reaction to that.

"Hopefully we got everything that belonged to you back," Kim put in, "What with the number of people who were in and out of there when we were gone, it was hard to tell."

"Well, I checked last night, and the only thing still missing that *I* noticed is something I'll hardly miss," Natalie shrugged.

"What was that?"

"Oh, it was just one of those...fanzines?...you all kept telling me about," Natalie replied. "Except that this one was appalling. It purported to be my diary, but they got *all* kinds of things wrong in it. It arrived in the mail a couple of months ago. The scariest thing is, it was *handwritten*, of all things. Near as I can tell, they had written it out, made photocopies of it, and sent me the original. I suppose I should be thankful that they thought so much of me to send it along, but I couldn't look Nick in the eyes for weeks after that. You should have *seen* what they wrote me thinking."

"Like what did they write in it?" Amy inquired.

"Well, they had a lot of stuff like you might see in a high school girl's notes, really silly stuff. The other things, well, suffice it to say that if I felt that childishly infatuated with Nick and *thought* that little, I'd have asked him to bring me across *years* ago. It was weird, seeing thoughts that weren't mine attributed to me like that. I wasn't sure what to do with it; I was planning to burn it when it was cold enough for a real fire in the fireplace. Should've just made a bonfire anyhow. Still, at least I don't have to worry about having to take care of that little detail anymore. I hope whoever has it now enjoys it," Nat winced.

Amy made a little sympathy sign at her, but just then their food arrived and they turned to other topics of conversation.

Time: Midafternoon
Place: Rental car

It was a very quiet, tired group of Natpackers who headed west from Toronto. They'd said their good-byes to the rest of the Pack, and to Natalie. Time to go home.

This time, they were in a rental car (Amy wasn't looking forward to explaining to Di Sidduth what had happened to her vehicle). Since the rental car was... courtesy of the last bit of DeBrabant money they still had hanging around, they had gone all out.

These three Natpackers were going home in a Lincoln, which was one of the few cars that actually had plenty of room for all their stuff.

"I don't want to go back to work," said Jennie mournfully. She took a long drink of her Coke and stared out the window.

In the back seat, Amy half-opened one eye--she'd been napping, but she figured it was time she joined the world. "It was a very good War," she said, startling Jennie so much she spilled her pop (Jennie wasn't used to seeing Amy wake up of her own volition). "No more getting followed by those weirdos--guess we took care of them."

"Mmm hmm," said Jennie with satisfaction. "We took care of all kinds of things."

Jill hadn't said a single word since they left the city, which Jennie knew wasn't normal. "What's up, Jill?"

Jill didn't look at her. "I'm just glad it's over."

"Didn't you have fun?"

"Of course!" Jill passed an incredibly slow-moving Geo--God, she loved gas-guzzling horsepower. "It's always great to hang out with y'all, and I finally got to meet Natalie, and see lots of other friends. It's just... some of the things that happened..."

"That's War," said Amy practically. "Hey, I thought I was Janette, and I survived."

"Yeah, but does everyone know about your obsession with LaCroix's butt? Do you now have to write a story about LaCroix falling in love with a mortal?"

"I don't have an obsession with LaCroix's posterior," said Amy gently. Jill ignored her.

"At least you didn't sing 'Phantom' with a handkerchief over your face," Jennie reminded her. "Or get covered with salt, or have your caffeine supply cut off. And Betsy..."

"We should send her some Preference by L'Oreal, because she's worth it," said Amy with a smile.

The three thought about the various trials and tribulations they'd suffered, as well as those they'd inflicted on others. After a minute, Amy started to giggle, followed by Jennie, then by Jill. In a moment they were all laughing hysterically.

When they'd all calmed down, Jill wiped the tears away from her eyes. "What the hell. It was fun--I can't wait for War Six."

Amy moaned, and Jennie shot Jill a look of death. "Can we wait a while before we start talking about another one of these?"

Jill nodded meekly. "I need a Diet Coke," she declared after a few minutes of silence. "I finished the last one at least five minutes ago."

Amy peered ahead of them. "Yeah. I'm hungry. Let's stop at that Mickey D's up there."

"Just so long as you don't get a fish sandwich," muttered Jennie darkly.

Time: Midafternoon
Place: Natalie's apartment

Natalie closed the door to her apartment quietly, then sagged against it. It was strange, but now that the 'Natpack', as they called themselves, had left, she felt strangely drained. It was as if all the exhaustion she hadn't felt while everyone was here had all come crashing down on her at once. They'd just dropped her off out front, smothered her with hugs and sad goodbyes (that inability to say goodbye was contagious!) and driven off, waving through the windows until they were out of sight.

Remembering that she had almost noticed something in her bedroom before they'd gone to lunch, she went to check that out. There it was, sure enough, a Natmare sat squarely in the middle of her bed. Smiling, she walked over and picked it up, hugging it to herself as she went to look in the closet, which had also looked somehow strange earlier. It took several minutes of staring before the change had become clear, and when it did, she simply sat there shaking her head with a half-grin on her face for several moments. They'd actually done it, and she knew who'd instigated it. Knew without a doubt. She began to sift through the clothing on the racks, looking carefully at several articles of clothing as the grin became wider by the second. She couldn't *believe* they had done it, but there it was.

Every single stitch of orange had been replaced with a nearly identical piece of clothing in another color. Red, turquoise, deep cobalt blue, all of the colors *Jennie* had said would look better on her were represented in the new clothing. She thought she noted a touch that must have been GT's in some of the choices, too. Everything went well with the clothes she already had, but none of it was orange. She hugged the natmare even closer to her as she flopped onto her bed, laughing so hard she almost couldn't breathe.

Time: Evening
Place: The Bronx, NY

Sharon sighed as she opened the very last letter from the stack of mail that had accumulated while she had been in Toronto....

========================================================================

                                   Berea Books, Inc.
                                   P O Box 411
                                   Berea KY 40403

Ms. Sharon Himmanen
5555 Grande Concourse
Bronx, NY 10468

My Dear Ms. Himmanen,

A journal belonging to you has come into my possession through the curious
and convoluted happenstances resulting from the understandably chaotic
mischances of that War, which was fought fiercely yet valiantly just
across the border of our Great Northern Neighbor nation so recently, and,
while conscious that my first priority must be to expedite the return of
your property to your hands, I very much hope that you may first give
serious consideration to this proposal. 
     
This diary of your culinary experiences is the most delightful and
captivating manuscript I have encountered for many years; it would be an
incomparable loss were your acute observations on North American regional
cuisine to be lost to the reading public.  Therefore, Berea Books would
very much like to publish your edifying chronicle of comestibles in our
issue of travel and gourmand publications.  In addition, I hope you will
give some consideration to allowing Berea Books to option your next book
as well. 
     
I await word from you in this matter with trust that we may come to a
mutually favorable and gainful agreement.  Upon settlement of such terms
as you may find acceptable, I will make haste to return your original
manuscript to you via special courier.  While I most genuinely commiserate
with your doubtless distress over the misappropriation of your dairy by
persons known to both of us but better left unnamed in these negotiations,
I am most gratified that the dastardly abduction has ended in suchwise as
to prove, I trust, advantageous to both you and Berea Books hereafter. 

Very truly yours,

Oscar Rawlins
Senior Non-Fiction Editor

==================================================================

Time: Evening
Place: Natalie's apartment

Natalie arrived home, immensely relieved that this entire mess was over and done with. No more pranks, no more people running to and fro. Life could regain its sanity again. She climbed the stairs to her apartment and turned the corner.

To find a brick wall where her door used to be. On each and every brick was painted a heart with an arrow through the center.

When she removed them over the course of an hour or two, after she'd begged a crowbar off of one of her neighbors, ("Are you sure you don't need any help?" "No no! I'm fine, really. No trouble at all.") she opened the door with trepidation. Nothing jumped out at her and she relaxed a little, turning on the light. Then yelled as she saw her stuffed animals, carefully guarded since school, lined up on her couch, patiently waiting her return.

Dyed pink. With aqua polka dots.

An envelope leaned against the teddy bear. She opened it, to find a card with a shooting star and a sunrise, almost identical to the one Nick had given to her for her birthday last year. On the inside was written:

"We've forgiven, but you didn't really think we'd forgotten, did you?
                Love,
                  The Knighties"

"Admit it, Nick, you're going to miss us," Perri teased as Nick escorted her, Amy Denton and Catherine into the airport.

"Well, maybe a little," Nick admitted. "It's just that there are so *many* of you! Next time, can you find a house?"

Catherine laughed. "Sure, Nick. We promise."

And if Nick saw the glances the three exchanged, he was intelligent enough not to comment.

His beeper went off as they hit the gate. Catherine had elected to spend a few days visiting Perri before heading home and they were all on the same flight into D/FW.

"Go get it," Amy said. "We've got to get our flight passes anyway."

He smiled and headed to the phone. The women exchanged looks again. All of them had a very good idea who was paging Nick.

They were sitting waiting for their flight to be announced when Nick came back. He was trying to look stern, but his face was shining with barely-suppressed glee.

"You three..." he had to stop and start again. "You three wouldn't know anything about Natalie's apartment door being bricked up, and animals dyed, would you?"

Their response came in perfect unison, accompanied by beautifully innocent smiles. "We are not programmed to respond in that area!" The call for their flight came and they took the chance to escape.

But it wasn't quite that easy; he grabbed Perri and Catherine's arms before they could sucessfully kiss and run. "Ladies...." he started threateningly.

They looked a little scared, but not much. And none at all when his face split in a wide grin, and he pulled all three of them into a close hug. "Thanks, guys. She's going to kill me, but it was probably worth it."

They wrapped their arms around him, savoring the moment.

"I'm not a hothead," Amy asserted.

"I know," Nick said, "And I don't hold it against you."

"Good." She kissed his cheek and stepped away.

"I do not snore," Nick whispered in Catherine's ear.

"You do too."

"Do not."

"Next time, I'm bringing a tape recorder."

"Next time, I'm changing the locks."

Perri started giggling and they broke apart. Catherine smiled fondly up at him. "See you later, Nicky."

She shoved her hands in the pockets of her jeans, and moved aside for Perri to say her farewells.

Perri started to say something, but stumbled and instead threw her arms around Nick, burying her face in his chest. He smoothed her hair back, and smiled down at her when she looked up with a slightly tearful smile. "I'll miss you," she said with a small laugh.

"Thanks, Perri," he told her quietly.

The smile got more under control. "Cath and I'll drag the others up here any time," she promised. "You beat a Mountie any day."

He laughed out loud and she grigrinned impishly, before turning away.

He watched them board the plane with a smile. He was almost looking forward to the next war. Then he thought of what Natalie was going to do to him for this.

Maybe he could wait a while.

On one fine evening gathered we
Who corresponded on email
And other ways and we could see
The danger coming to us.

So we talked and discussed
The threat to us and others.
And finally decided that we must
Come together as a group. Thus,

We sent small "gifts" to those we knew
Some pranks on those few that
Needed the extra attention. True
We shouldn't have attacked,

But we didn't know this,
And it seemed like a fun way
To get all together, to discuss the hits.
It backfired. No one knew that

We'd all get in trouble.
The Cousins and the Ravenettes
exchanged the Raven on the double
and kept going while the other factions

Tried to figure out what was going on
What side had attacked them
What had gone wrong.
The Die-Hards guessed, as did

Some of the Ravenettes, but
The others weren't convinced and so
they were entitled to go nuts.
And everyone pranked, Sandra had quite a day,

We had a party, and the NatPack went astray
Singing and dancing all over the stage.
The Lurkers put on a play
While we were all so busy

Getting each other back.
But finally it ended.
Nat was kidnapped, and her lack
Spurred the NatPack to tell the truth
(although almost everyone had figured it out)

And ended up with Nat free,
with someone else coming back
Who had surprised even we
Who may have been suspecting her.

Then it was done. Everyone packed up
And raring to go home, meeting new friends
To visit, to drop on
Unexpectedly

When everything was calm at last.
And we, who had instigated this thing
breathed a collective sigh of relief, and left fast
(One, accidentally with LaCroix's goldfish in her bag).

And now we are done. No pranks, just
Everyday life. And we give thanks
For that.