Volume Twelve: Disallow Written by Kashiwae Masato Illustrated by Chayamachi Suguro Summary by Amparo Bertram Early January, 1999

Nobuyuki gets home at 3 in the morning after another year of guard duty on the New Year dinner cruise. He's grateful that the Titanic craze has apparently died down. When Sidney gets home a few minutes later from keeping the peace at Times Square, Nobuyuki greets him warmly and wishes him a Happy New Year. Sidney reports that Henry is frantic because Angie has a cold, though Kate has already taken her to see a doctor [Cultural note: See?] and there is no real danger.

In bed later, Sidney asks Nobuyuki about his vacation status. Due to the arrangement of holidays in Japan this year, the tourist season is slightly longer than usual, so he can't take a day off for another ten days or so. Sidney mentions that he'll be leaving for a week, but that he intends to phone in with his contact information. He leads Nobuyuki to believe that he is going for business.

The two are sharing a can of beer. As Nobuyuki passes it to Sidney, he bursts out with, "Sidney? I love you." Sidney tells him that one needs good timing to drink around him. He doesn't understand why.

Sidney gets up early and contemplates the sleeping Nobuyuki for a while, noting how he's changed since they were children. He isn't sure when he first realized he was in love with Nobuyuki, but he recalls with fondness their youthful days of adventuring. After a light goodbye kiss, he packs a duffel bag and leaves, heading for the train station. As his train pulls out, he turns off his cell phone.

Nobuyuki wakes up to find Sidney already gone. He thinks about their conversation and wonders when Sidney intended to go on his trip. They haven't been apart for a week since Nobuyuki went to Japan for a month; compared to that, he tries to convince himself, a week should be nothing. Just then Ted calls, hoping to reach Sidney. He had called Sidney's cell phone first, but it was turned off. He repeats his invitation for Nobuyuki to come visit, though Nobuyuki isn't very enthusiastic about the idea.

At work, Nobuyuki hears that Yamashina is out sick, leaving them shorthanded. Yamashina had caught a slight cold--with a high fever [Cultural note: I rest my case.]--but pushed himself to work during the New Year's Eve events, which made him even more sick. Nobuyuki protests that it shouldn't be such a problem, since now that he's a full-time employee, losing one person just puts them back to where they were before he was promoted. Takada informs him that he's been treated as a full-time employee on the work schedule for a long time now, so it isn't that simple. Their main weakness is that they don't have enough people licensed to drive buses. They mainly hire Japanese study abroad students as part-time workers, and now that the immigration laws are more strict, fewer students see the value in going through the trouble to get the more difficult license because it won't lead to a work visa.

Sidney arrives in Washington D. C. and goes to the nearest travel agent to book him a hotel room for the week. The black-haired man at the counter subtly flirts with him, but he pointedly ignores it. Instead, he daydreams about Nobuyuki's hair and how convenient its length is for him. Nobuyuki, for his part, is doing his best to help Takada cope with the shortage of experienced drivers. They conclude that, since the bus driver doesn't really need to be able to speak Japanese, the best course of action is to advertise in the New York Times. By evening, Nobuyuki is already counting down the hours until he can go home because he misses Sidney so much.

After checking into his hotel, Sidney goes for a walk, still thinking about Nobuyuki. He examines his reasons for not telling the whole truth about his trip. Mostly it's because the time he had available to spend exchanging love with Nobuyuki was limited enough already, he didn't want to make it any shorter by launching into a complicated explanation that isn't really clear in his own mind to begin with. He also knows that, no matter what he does, Nobuyuki will understand, though it makes him feel a bit spoiled.

He's interrupted from his reverie by a dog barking at him. At first he thinks wryly that, without Nobuyuki by his side, the German shepherd considers him dangerous. The dog's owner apologizes for its behavior, saying that he just got Alex and hasn't gotten the hang of controlling him yet. As Sidney continues walking and the dog keeps barking in the same direction, however, he senses that something is wrong. Since it has grown dark, Sidney borrows Alex and gives commands just like he used to with Beth, having the dog seek out what disturbed him. They discover the body of a man stabbed in the chest.

Nobuyuki is partnered with a new employee named Mayumi that night. When they get off work, she asks if he has a girlfriend. He responds frankly that he doesn't, but that he has a boyfriend. He muses that Sidney is the one thing in his life he can be proud of, and he's fortunate that Sidney loves him; having to hide their relationship would feel like a betrayal. He wants to see Sidney so badly that he runs full speed back to his apartment, startling the security guard Dmitri. He is shocked when Dmitri mentions seeing Sidney leave for a vacation early that morning.

Nobuyuki's mind goes blank at the news. He searches the apartment for a note, but finds nothing. He tries Sidney's cell phone, but it's still turned off. He calls Henry's house, where both Henry and Kate are awake for Angie's feeding. Bewildered that Henry would be home while Sidney is gone on business, Nobuyuki asks what's going on. Henry is surprised as well; Sidney had assured him that he had told Nobuyuki he was taking a week-long vacation. The word "week" echoes in Nobuyuki's ears.

Sidney hopes by concentrating on sightseeing he can avoid thinking about Nobuyuki. It doesn't work. On his way to Arlington he spots the sakura trees lining the Potomac, which reminds him that they were gifts from Japan... It's as if everything he sees is one big free association chain leading him back to Nobuyuki. Likewise, Nobuyuki hopes by concentrating on work he can avoid thinking about Sidney. Then he hires a new part-time bus driver, a woman named Dale Cravitz, who reminds him of Clara...

The Washington police are working on investigating the murder of the man Sidney found, but they have few leads. The only clue to his movements over the days preceding the murder is that he had two New York subway tokens in his wallet. Sidney is helping out as a witness. Meanwhile, Nobuyuki receives a call at work from Ted informing him that Beth II just died that morning in her sleep.

Watching people walk their dogs outside his hotel room window, Sidney remembers the day Beth died. She had been old and weak and had pretty much stopped eating. They made a bed for her inside the house, yet she insisted on sleeping outside. Then one cold day Sidney went to take her her breakfast, and she wouldn't wake up. He recalls how sad she was when Nobuyuki left for Japan, acting as if she had lost her own child, then the next day she strove to cheer up Sidney. When Nobuyuki sent his first postcard, she was right there by the mailbox when Sidney came home from school, making certain to draw his attention to it. From that day on, it was her job to alert Sidney to any letters from Nobuyuki. Holding the cold body with its frost-covered fur in his arms that morning, Sidney wondered if the reason she insisted on sleeping outside was so she wouldn't miss the mailman.

Ted took the day off work and Sidney stayed home from school to bury her in the backyard. A deeply religious family, they called for a priest to attend the funeral and say a prayer for her. They tore down her doghouse and buried it along with her, as well as the remainder of her food and her favorite toys. Several months later, Ted stopped in a pet store on a whim and found another collie that looked a lot like Beth. She was nine months old and already trained. He bought her on the spot and brought her home to meet Sidney.

Nobuyuki arrives at Sidney's parents' house. Ted takes him to the garage, where he's keeping Beth II's body so it will stay cold. Nobuyuki hugs her, wishing he could have met her while she was still alive. When Clara comes out with hot refreshments, he apologizes that he has been living in New York for seven years without ever visiting. They all wonder where Sidney could be. Ted had told him that Beth II was nearing her end, but he simply responded that he was too busy to visit. Ted suspects that the reason Sidney didn't want to come was that, when he first returned home after leaving the army, Beth II treated him like an intruder and tried to bite him. In effect, his experience in the army had changed him, giving him an air of danger that she could sense. It was as if she knew that he was now a killer.

Nobuyuki spends the night there in Sidney's old room. In the morning, Clara gives him two sweaters she had knitted for Sidney when he was in middle school--they now fit Nobuyuki perfectly. As Ted drives him back into town, he says he's not sure how long he can wait before burying the dog. Nobuyuki asks him to wait two more days until Sidney is scheduled to come back, even though there's no way of telling whether Sidney would be willing to visit.

Sidney stares out his hotel room window, watching the snow fall, thinking about Beth II. He remembers the night he had come home after leaving the army and she had attacked him. Though he had changed out of his military clothes and showered, the changes he had experienced during his few months of service went much deeper than that, and Beth could tell. The next morning when she greeted him as if nothing had happened, it made him so happy he nearly cried, because that meant there was still something of his former self left. Yet now, though he isn't in the military anymore, his job as a homicide detective leads him into similar situations. He must be prepared to fire his gun at people. If he were to go see Beth, she might instinctively attack him again.

Nobuyuki is paired up with another part-time employee, Yanagisawa, as part of Takada's plan to have him work partnered with everyone. Nobuyuki doesn't understand why Takada is putting so much emphasis on teaching him new skills like interviewing and making him get to know all the employees' weak and strong points, but he just goes along with it.

When they drop off their busload of tourists at the airport, a couple of young women ask to have their picture taken. Nobuyuki volunteers to take the picture, but it's a digital camera, so he has no clue how to work it. Yanagisawa turns it on for him, and the display screen lights up showing a picture of Sidney that the women had taken the day before. At first he thinks that means Sidney is somewhere in New York, but they tell him that they took the Washington D. C. daytrip tour, and they shot the picture at Arlington National Cemetery.

Sidney is called and informed that the murderer turned himself in. He goes down to the police station to hear the full story. The man who confessed was Alex's owner, Jack. The police are all perplexed because he has no point of contact with the victim, and he refuses to explain why he did it. He will only say that, after the murder, he went back to his apartment and got rid of the coat and gloves he had worn. He waited a couple hours and took his dog for a walk back to the scene of the crime, expecting to see a huge commotion, and was surprised that no one had found the body yet.

Kaplan hears about Sidney's dog dying from Henry. He had known where Sidney was ever since the Washington police called him to verify Sidney's identity, but he had promised to keep it a secret. At the news about Beth II, however, he calls Sidney to report the death as if she were a member of his family. At that stage, he gets Sidney's hotel name and room number, which Henry then conveys to Nobuyuki.

Nobuyuki can't think of anything but how much he misses Sidney. When he goes to take a bath that night and realizes he's still wearing Sidney's old sweater, he nearly cries. He understands that Sidney is trying to deal with some painful memories from his time in the army, and that keeping himself cut off from Nobuyuki is his way of protecting Nobuyuki from the harshness of those memories, but that demonstration of Sidney's concern for him just makes Nobuyuki miss him more.

On Sidney's last full day in Washington, he joins the police in checking out Jack's apartment for clues to his motive. All Jack will say is that everything he does goes wrong. He has a number of pictures of his ex-wife on the wall, which indicates that he cares about her even though it's been over a year since their divorce. She has since remarried, to a man she met at work. When questioned by the police, she responded that Jack kept trying to get her to come back to him. The police checked into her second husband, thinking that if Jack had a grudge against anyone it would be him, but the only the he had in common with the victim was that he was at the same diner the night of the murder. Sidney figures out that Jack had intended to kill him when he came out of the diner, but in the darkness he attacked a completely unrelated man who just happened to have a similar build.

Sidney is glad the police didn't ask him how he came to that conclusion. It was inspired by his memory of being attacked while on duty in the Middle East. Even though he couldn't make out any details with all the sand obscuring his view, all he could do was pick up a gun and keep firing. In Jack's case, he kills a man and will have to go on trial for murder. In Sidney's case, he muses bitterly, he kills people and is commended. He had hoped that by visiting places like Arlington he would find an explanation for or at least make peace with the memories of what he has done, but he realizes there's nothing meaningful for him there.

He returns gloomily to his hotel, where he is shocked to see familiar black hair. Upon spotting him, Nobuyuki runs into his arms. The two immediately head back to Sidney's room to make the most of their reunion. Nobuyuki explains that, when he begged for a day off to go to Washington D. C., Takada told him he could go if he used it as an opportunity to analyze the Washington daytrip tour. Sidney is extremely glad he came. A few moments with Nobuyuki brings him more peace than his entire vacation did.

When Sidney asks Nobuyuki during a short breather if he ought to be working, Nobuyuki answers, "This *is* work...well, not *this*..." Sidney cracks up, replying, "Of course not. It would be a miracle if there were a travel agency that had a job requiring someone to go to Washington D. C. to sleep with a New York homicide detective." Nobuyuki goes on to protest yet again that he has the ability to learn...he has learned that he's not allowed to tell Sidney "you're beautiful," though he doesn't understand why.

The next day, after Sidney gets back, Nobuyuki uses the company van to drive him to visit his parents. Sidney brings along Alex, having gained possession of the dog since Jack could no longer care for him, as a replacement for Beth. He arrives in time to see Beth before his father buries her. He and his mother don't seem entirely at ease with each other, but they appear to be making an effort to reduce some of the tension between them for Nobuyuki's sake.

As they're arriving in Whitestone, Nobuyuki announces that they should switch places, because he's never had the chance to have Sidney drive him anywhere. Sidney grudgingly goes along with the idea, at which point Nobuyuki expresses surprise that Sidney isn't a reckless driver. [Note: Nobuyuki's memory isn't quite perfect. Sidney does drive him briefly once, shortly after Henry got married and Sidney wanted to give the newlywed as much time with his bride as possible, so he drops Henry off at his house first and takes the car.]

[Previous] [Next] [City of Glass]