Now, I like Frank Miller. He's one of the most imaginative and unique
talents in American comics today - or ever, actually. I love his stuff, so
don't take this the wrong way - I wouldn't be able to determine the trends
in his work if I didn't read everything the man does. (Incidentally, scope
out his most recent work, 300, if you get a chance. It's about the battle
of Thermopylae.) So; how to write a Frank Miller story...

The hero is always shown as being 8-10 heads tall and 3-5 heads wide
at the shoulders. Heros are always clean-shaven; for instance, when Bruce
Wayne resumes his identity it The Dark Knight Returns, the first
thing he does is shave his mustache. Trenchcoats are appropriate garb for
heros; bandaids may be worn across the bridge of the nose. Should the
herobe a cop, he is invariably an older man with family or health problems
(as per Batman, Year One or Sin City, That Yellow Bastard).
Cops are usually corrupt if they aren't the hero or female. Swat team
members are especially subject to being used indelicately. Ninjas can be
good, though other forms of assassins are invariably bad. Prostitutes and
exotic dancers are good. At least one character will be squat and somewhat
hunchbacked, with one eye larger than the other, a large eye, and worts.
Caucasian gang members are invariably neo-Nazis, and usually vaguely
transvestite, often carrying the Schmeisser SMG as standard weaponry.
There must be at least one page per comic book which is just one
frame, usually a scene mostly in dramatic silhouette. The main character
and a female character in bed is a popular choice for this scene, usually
shown with the dramatic cast shadow of a windowframe (eg, Sin
City). Striptease routines by female members of the cast or car chases
are another popular choice for these. Such scenes are invariably upshots,
or views down onto the scene.
The President of the United States is essentially Ronald Reagan
(Martha Washington Goes to War, The Dark Knight Returns).
Frequent news broadcasts inform the reader of the larger scope of the
world, and of the setting. There is usually at least one sexual scene per
book (see above). There is usually one reference to cannibalism per book,
or to some other unpleasantry (impalement, etc.). There is usually one
emasculation per series (Robocop, Sin City: That Yellow
Bastard). Narrantion is very often first person, using a distinctive
script if there are several sympathetic characters.


Wow. This is silly. Get me back to the main page.