• Music
• Poetry
  • That He Wrote
  • That He Quoted

Note: the 30-second sound clips are freebies from www.mp3.com; the others are freebies from other sites, and are primarily instrumentals.

Special Songs

• Folk/Camp
  • Rosin the Beau
  • Lili Marlene
  • The Strangest Dream
  • The Universal Soldier
  • We are Marching to Pretoria
  • The Rattlin’ Bog
  • The Happy Wanderer
  • Austrian Yodeler
  • Early One Morning
• Country
  • River Road
  • Lucille
  • The Class of ’57
  • Ghost Riders in the Sky
  • I Like Beer
• Comedy
  • You Can’t Chop your Poppa up in Massachusetts
  • Pore Jud is Daid
  • Poisoning Pigeons in the Park
  • In Old Mexico
  • The Elements
  • Shaving Cream
  • Billboard Song
  • Hungarian Goulash
  • Surfin’ Bird
  • Rubber Duckie
• Miscellaneous
  • The Clarinet Polka
  • Dueling Banjos
  • Una Paloma Blanca
  • William Tell Overture
  • Unpack Your Adjectives
  • Music Box Dancer
  • Whispering Hope

Rosin the Beau (2:01)

This was one of Dad’s all-time favorites, especially for singing while playing his guitar.

Lyrics

I’ve traveled all over this world,
And now to another I go.
And I know that good quarters are waiting
To welcome old Rosin the Beau.

To welcome old Rosin the Beau, the Beau.
To welcome old Rosin the Beau.
And I know that good quarters are waiting
To welcome old Rosin the Beau.

When I’m dead and laid out on the counter
A voice you will hear from below,
Saying “Send down a hogshead of whisky
To drink with old Rosin the Beau.

To drink with old Rosin the Beau, the Beau”.
To drink with old Rosin the Beau”.
Saying “Send down a hogshead of whisky
To drink with old Rosin the Beau”.

Then get a half dozen stout fellows
And stack them all up in a row
Let them drink out of half gallon bottles
To the memory of Rosin the Beau.

To the memory of Rosin the Beau, the Beau
To the memory of Rosin the Beau
Let them drink out of half gallon bottles
To the memory of Rosin the Beau

Then get a half dozen stout fellows
And let them all stagger and go
And dig a great hole in the meadow
And in it put Rosin the Beau.

And in it put Rosin the Beau, the Beau.
And in it put Rosin the Beau.
And dig a great hole in the meadow
And in it put Rosin the Beau.

Then get ye a couple of bottles.
Put one at me head and me toe.
With a diamond ring scratch upon ’em
The name of old Rosin the Beau.

The name of old Rosin the Beau, the Beau.
The name of old Rosin the Beau.
With a diamond ring scratch upon ’em
The name of old Rosin the Beau.

I feel that old tyrant approaching,
That cruel remorseless old foe,
And I lift up me glass in his honour.
Take a drink with old Rosin the Beau.

Take a drink with old Rosin the Beau, the Beau.
Take a drink with old Rosin the Beau.
And I lift up me glass in his honour.
Take a drink with old Rosin the Beau.

Back to Music

Lili Marlene (2:01)

Another of Dad’s favorites, he would play this one on his guitar and whistle the tune, rather than sing. He named our family dog after this song.

Lyrics

Underneath the lantern
By the barrack gate
Darling I remember
The way you used to wait
’Twas there that you whispered tenderly
That you loved me
You’d always be
My Lili of the lamplight
My own Lili Marlene

Time would come for roll call
Time for us to part
Darling I’d caress you
And press you to my heart
And there neath that far off lantern light
I’d hold you tight
We’d kiss good night
My Lili of the lamplight
My own Lili Marlene

Orders came for sailing
Somewhere over there
All confined to barracks
’Twas more than I could bear
I knew you were waiting in the street
I heard your feet
But could not meet
My Lili of the lamplight
My own Lili Marlene

Resting in our billet
Just behind the line
Even though we’re parted
Your lips are close to mine
You wait where that lantern softly gleamed
Your sweet face seems
To haunt my dreams
My Lili of the lamplight
My own Lili Marlene
My Lili of the lamplight
My own Lili Marlene.

Back to Music

Last Night I had the Strangest Dream (0:30, performed by the Kingston Trio)

This song was especially dear to anyone, like Dad, who protested the Vietnam War. Our record collection at home was not large, but had an impressive selection of like-minded folk music, represented by groups like the Kingston Trio, the Chad Mitchell trio, the Weavers, etc.

The third chapter of Dad’s novel has an amateur folksinger singing this particular song (interestingly, getting the first line wrong); the audience’ response is tepid, but it results in a meeting with another of the main characters, another to whom the message is a real dream of his.

Lyrics

Last night I had the strangest dream
I’d never dreamed before,
I dreamed the world had all agreed
To put an end to war

I dreamed I saw a mighty room
The room was full of men,
And the paper they were signing said
They’d never fight again

And when the paper was all signed
And a million copies made
They all joined hands and bowed their heads
And grateful prayers were prayed.

And the people in the streets below
Were dancing ’round and ’round
While guns and swords and uniforms
Were scattered on the ground

Last night I had the strangest dream
I’d never dreamed before
I dreamed the world had all agreed
To put an end to war.

Back to Music

The Universal Soldier (0:30, performed by Buffy Sainte-Marie)

This was a classic anti-war song. Dad, like most pacifists, felt that most of the blame for Vietnam (and, indeed, all unjust wars) lied squarely with the war-makers themselves; however, he also felt that the soldiers had a duty to humanity as well as to their superiors, to recognize when they were aiding in an unjust effort, and to stop doing so. This song speaks to that view.

Lyrics

He’s five feet two and he’s six feet four
He fights with missiles and with spears
He’s all of 31 and he’s only 17
He’s been a soldier for a thousand years

He’s a Catholic, a Hindu, an athiest, a Jain,
A Buddhist and a Baptist and a Jew
And he knows he shouldn’t kill
And he knows he always will
Kill you for me my friend and me for you

And he’s fighting for Canada,
He’s fighting for France,
He’s fighting for the USA,
And he’s fighting for the Russians
And he’s fighting for Japan,
And he thinks we’ll put an end to war this way

And he’s fighting for Democracy
And fighting for the Reds
He says it’s for the peace of all
He’s the one who must decide
Who’s to live and who’s to die
And he never sees the writing on the walls

But without him how would Hitler have condemned him at Dachau
Without him Caesar would have stood alone
He’s the one who gives his body
As a weapon to a war
And without him all this killing can’t go on

He’s the universal soldier and he really is to blame
His orders come from far away no more
They come from him, and you, and me
And brothers can’t you see
this is not the way we put an end to war.

Back to Music

Marching to Pretoria (0:30, performed by the Highwaymen)

If Dad was in a mood for a family song-and-guitar session, he would sometimes do this one, which is fun to sing and extremely easy to learn. Before each new stanza, Dad would call out the next verb (“Drink!” “Drink with me, I’ll drink with you...”).

Lyrics

Sing with me, I’ll sing with you
And so we will sing together
So we will sing together
So we will sing together
Sing with me, I’ll sing with you
And so we will sing together
As we march along

We are marching to Pretoria, Pretoria, Pretoria
We are marching to Pretoria, Pretoria hurrah

Back to Music

The Rattlin’ Bog (0:30, performed by Andy Cooney)

This was more one of my favorites than one of Dad’s, but if we were having a family sing-along he’d gladly play the guitar and we’d duet it. My favorite version was that on our Irish Rovers album.

Lyrics

[Chorus] Yo ho the rattlin’ bog, the bog down in the valley oh
Yo ho the rattlin’ bog, the bog down in the valley oh

In that bog there was a tree; a rare tree, a rattlin’ tree
the tree in the bog, and the bog down in the valley oh

[Chorus]
On that tree there was a branch; a rare branch, a rattlin’ branch
the branch on the tree, and the tree in the bog, and the bog down in the valley oh

[Chorus]
On that branch... a twig
On that twig... a nest
In that nest... an egg
In that egg... a bird
On that bird... a wing
On that wing... a bug
On that bug... a hair

Back to Music

The Happy Wanderer (2:28)

This is one of those jolly songs that I remember from our visits to Family Camp, and I think Dad did it on his guitar on occasion.

Lyrics

I love to go a-wandering,
Along the mountain track,
And as I go, I love to sing,
My knapsack on my back.

Chorus:
Val-deri, Val-dera,
Val-deri,
Val-dera-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha
Val-deri, Val-dera.
My knapsack on my back.

I love to wander by the stream
That dances in the sun,
So joyously it calls to me,
“Come! Join my happy song!”

I wave my hat to all I meet,
And they wave back to me,
And blackbirds call so loud and sweet
From ev’ry green wood tree.

High overhead, the skylarks wing,
They never rest at home
But just like me, they love to sing,
As o’er the world we roam.

Oh, may I go a-wandering
Until the day I die!
Oh, may I always laugh and sing,
Beneath God’s clear blue sky!

Back to Music

Austrian Yodeler (0:29)

This was another Family Camp special, and another song that meant more to me, I suspect, than it did to Dad. Still, some of my happiest childhood memories involved both Dad and Family Camp, so I feel compelled to put it in here.

Lyrics

Oh, an Austrian went yodeling on a mountaintop high,
When along came a ... interrupting his cry.

1) cuckoo bird,
2) grizzly bear,
3) an avalanche,
4) ...,

Oh, ree, ahh
Oh-ree-ah-kee-kee, a oh-ree-ah-koo-koo
Oh-ree-ah-kee-kee, a oh-ree-ah-koo-koo
Oh-ree-ah-kee-kee, a oh-ree-ah-koo-koo
Oh-ree-ah-kee-kee, a oh.

Note: every camp has its own set of lyrics, and I don’t remember what they were at Family Camp; these seem to be fairly standard. Also, it’s standard practice, say, after the grizzly bear line, to insert a growl in the chorus (“Oh-ree-ah-kee-kee, a oh-ree-ah-koo-koo Grrrr!”).

Back to Music

Early one Morning (1:50)

I learned this tune as the theme of a Canadian children’s TV show called “The Friendly Giant.” Dad knew a set of words to it (different than those below), and sometimes would croon it while strumming his guitar. Evidently it’s an old English folk song.

Lyrics

Early one morning, just as the sun was rising
I heard a maid sing in the valley below
“Oh don’t deceive me, Oh never leave me,
How could you use, a poor maiden so?”

Remember the vows that you made to me truly
Remember how tenderly you nestled close to me
Gay is the garland, fresh are the roses
I’ve culled from the garden to bind over thee.

Here I now wander alone as I wonder
Why did you leave me to sigh and complain
I ask of the roses, why should I be forsaken,
Why must I here in sorrow remain?

Through yonder grove, by the spring that is running
There you and I have so merrily played,
Kissing and courting and gently sporting
Oh, my innocent heart you’ve betrayed

How could you slight so a pretty girl who loves you
A pretty girl who loves you so dearly and warm?
Though love’s folly is surely but a fancy,
Still it should prove to me sweeter than your scorn.

Soon you will meet with another pretty maiden
Some pretty maiden, you’ll court her for a while;
Thus ever ranging, turning and changing
Always seeking for a girl that is new.

Thus sang the maiden, her sorrows bewailing
Thus sang the poor maid in the valley below
“Oh don’t deceive me, Oh never leave me,
How could you use, a poor maiden so?”

Back to Music

River Road (0:30, performed by the Crystal Gayle)

With the demise of soul-stirring folk music, which was Dad’s favorite from the 1960’s, he and the rest of the family switched to its nearest relative, country music. Dad had his favorite performers, and they are represented in this and the next few songs.

Lyrics

Here I go once again, with my suitcase in my hand
I’m running away down river road
And I swear once again, that I’m never coming home
I’m chasing my dreams down river road

Mama said listen child
You’re too old to run wild
You’re too big to be fishing with the boys these days
So I grabbed some clothes and ran
Stole five dollars from the sugar can
A 12 year old jail breaker running away

And here I go once again, with my suitcase in my hand
I’m running away down river road
And I swear once again, that I’m never coming home
I’m chasing my dreams down river road

Well I married a pretty good man
And he tries to understand
But he knows I’ve got leaving on my mind these days
When I get that urge to run
I’m just like a kid again
The same old jailbreaker running away

Here I go once again, with my suitcase in my hand
I’m runningaway down river road
And I swear once again that I’m never coming home
I’m chasing my dreams down river road

Back to Music

Lucille (0:30, performed by Kenny Rogers)

Dad liked this song enough to carefully write down the lyrics, presumably to memorize them.

Lyrics

In a bar in Toledo, across from the depot,
On a barstool she took off her ring.
I thought I’d get closer
So I walked on over.
I sat down and asked her her name.
When the drinks finally hit her,
She said,“I’m no quitter,
But I finally quit living on dreams.
I’m hungry for laughter,
And here ever after
I’m after whatever the other life brings.”

In the mirror I saw him,
And I closely watched him.
I thought how he looked out of place.
He came to the woman
Who sat there beside me.
He had a strange look on his face.
The big hands were calloused,
He looked like a mountain,
For a minute I thought I was dead.
But he started shaking,
His big heart was breaking,
He turned to the woman and said,

“You picked a fine time to leave me, Lucille
With four hungry children and a crop in the field.
I’ve had some bad times,
lived through some sad times,
this time the hurtin’ won’t heal.
You picked a fine time to leave me, Lucille.”

After he left us, I ordered more whiskey.
I thought how she’d made him look small.
From the lights of the barroom to the rented hotel room
We walked without talking at all.
She was a beauty, but when she came to me
She must have thought I’d lost my mind.
I couldn’t hold her, for the words that he told her
Kept comin’ back time after time.

“You picked a fine time to leave me, Lucille
With four hungry children and a crop in the field.
I’ve had some bad times,
lived through some sad times,
this time the hurtin’ won’t heal.
You picked a fine time to leave me, Lucille.”

Back to Music

Class of ’57 (0:30, performed by the Statler Brothers)

This song had a special poignance for Dad, in that he was a member of the class of 1957 himself. Perhaps he listened to this song and felt that he, too, fell so far short of the “great works and deeds” he’d envisioned for himself.

Lyrics

Tommy’s selling used cars, Nancy’s fixing hair
Harvey runs a grocery store, and Margaret doesn’t care
Jerry drives a truck for Sears, and Charlotte’s on the make
And Paul sells life insurance, and part time real estate

Helen is a hostess, Frank works at the mill
Janet teaches grade school and probably always will
Bob works for the city, and Jack’s in lab research
And Peggy plays organ at the Presbyterian church

And the Class of ’57 had its dreams
We all hoped we’d change the world with our great works and deeds
Or maybe we just thought the world would change to fit our needs
But the Class of ’57 had its dreams

Betty runs a trailer park, Jan sells Tupperware
Randy’s on an insane ward, and Mary’s on welfare
Charlie took a job with Ford, Joe took Freddie’s wife
Charlotte took a millionaire, and Freddie took his life

Johnny’s big in cattle, Ray is deep in debt
Where Mavis finally wound up is anybody’s bet
Linda married Sonny, Brenda married me
And the class of all of us is just part of history

And the Class of ’57 had its dreams
But living life day to day is never like it seems
Things get complicated when you get past eighteen
But the Class of ’57 had its dreams
Ah, the Class of ’57 had its dreams

Back to Music

Ghost Riders in the Sky (0:30, performed by Johnny Cash)

On one of those rare occurrences when Mom and Dad went out and did something fun just for themselves, they left us home in Midland and drove to Saginaw and went to a Johnny Cash concert. Cash did his version of this song, just before it hit the country music charts. Dad felt that this song and Cash’s voice were a perfect match.

Lyrics

An old cowboy went ridin’ out one dark and windy day
Upon a ridge he rested as he went along his way
When all at once a mighty herd of red-eyed cows he saw
Plowin’ through the ragged skies, and up a cloudy draw

Their brands were still on fire, and their hooves were made of steel
Their horns were black and shiny and their hot breath he could feel
A bolt of fear went through him as they thundered through the sky
For he saw the riders comin’ hard, and he heard their mournful cry

Yip-ee-i-oh, yip-ee-i-ay! Ghost riders in the sky

Their faces gaunt, their eyes were blurred, their shirts all soaked with sweat
They’re ridin’ hard to catch that herd, but they ain’t caught ’em yet
’Cause they’ve got to ride forever on that range up in the sky
On horses snorting fire, as they ride on, hear their cry

Yip-ee-i-oh, yip-ee-i-ay! Ghost riders in the sky

As the riders loped on by him, he heard one call his name
“If you want to save your soul from Hell, a riding on our range
Then cowboy change your ways today, or with us you will ride
Tryin’ to catch the devil’s herd, across these endless skies”

Yip-ee-i-oh, yip-ee-i-ay! Ghost riders in the sky
Ghost riders in the sky
Ghost riders in the sky

Back to Music

I Like Beer (0:30, performed by Tom T. Hall)

Dad liked this song despite the fact that he very rarely drank beer; then again, I like it, too, and I never drink the stuff.

Lyrics

In some of my songs I have casually mentioned
The fact that I like to drink beer
This little song is more to the point
Roll out the barrel and lend me your ears

I like beer. It makes me a jolly good fellow
I like beer. It helps me unwind and sometimes it makes me feel mellow (Makes him feel mellow)
Whiskey’s too rough, champagne costs too much, vodka puts my mouth in gear
This little refrain should help me explain as a matter of fact I like beer (He likes beer)

My wife often frowns when we’re out on the town
And I’m wearing a suit and a tie
She’s sipping vermouth and she thinks I’m uncouth
When I yell as the waiter goes by

I like beer. It makes me a jolly good fellow
I like beer. It helps me unwind and sometimes it makes me feel mellow (Makes him feel mellow)
Whiskey’s too rough, champagne costs too much, vodka puts my mouth in gear
This little refrain should help me explain as a matter of fact I like beer (He likes beer)

Last night I dreamed that I passed from the scene
And I went to a place so sublime
Aw, the water was clear and tasted like beer
Then they turned it all into wine (awww)

I like beer. It makes me a jolly good fellow
I like beer. It helps me unwind and sometimes it makes me feel mellow (Makes him feel mellow)
Whiskey’s too rough, champagne costs too much, vodka puts my mouth in gear
This little refrain should help me explain as a matter of fact I like beer (Yes, he likes beer)

Back to Music

Back to Music

Pore Jud is Daid (0:30, original Oklahoma! soundtrack)

Mom and Dad enjoyed movie musicals, and we had a good number of soundtrack albums. This was a favorite, from Oklahoma!

Lyrics

[Curly] Pore Jud is daid,
Pore Jud Fry is daid,
All gather ’round his cawfin now and cry
He had a heart of gold
And he wasn’t very old
Oh why did such a feller have to die?

Pore Jud is daid
Pore Jud Fry is daid,
He’s lookin’ oh so peaceful and serene

[Jud] And serene!

[Curly] He’s all laid out to rest
With his hands acrost his chest
His fingernails have never been so clean!

(Spoken) Then the preacher’d get up and he’d say

(Chanting) Folks, we are gathered here to moan and groan over our brother Jud Fry, who hung hisself up by a rope in his smokehouse

(Spoken) Then there’d be weepin’ and wailin’... from some of those women. Then he’d say

(Chanting) Jud was the most misunderstood man in this here territory. People used to think he was a mean ugly feller and they called him a dirty skunk and an ornery pig stealer

(Sung) But the folks that really knowed him.

(Chant) Knowed that beneath them two dirty shirts he always wore

(Sung) There beat a heart as big as all outdoors

[Jud] As big as all outdoors.

[Curly] Jud Fry loved his feller man

[Jud] He loved his feller man

[Curly] (Spoken) He loved the birds of the air and the beasts of the field. He loved the mice and the vermin in the barns, and he treated the rats like equals, which was right. And he loved little children. He loved everybody and everything in the whole world!

Only he never let on, so nobody ever knowed it.

(Sung) Pore Jud is daid
Pore Jud Fry is daid
His friends’ll weep and wail for miles around

[Jud] Miles Around!

[Curly] The daisies in the dell
will give out a different smell
Because Pore Jud is underneath the ground.

[Jud] Pore Jud is daid
A candle lights his haid
He’s layin’ in a cawfin made of wood

[Curly] Wood...

[Jud] And folks are feelin’ sad
Cause they useter treat him bad
But now they know their friend is gone for good

[Curly] Good...

[Both] Pore Jud is daid
A candle lights his haid!

[Curly] He’s lookin’ oh so purty and so nice
He looks like he’s asleep,
It’s a shame that he won’t keep
But it’s summer and we’re running out of ice.

[Both] Pore Jud, Pore Jud.

Back to Music

Poisoning Pigeons in the Park (0:30, performed by Tom Lehrer)

This and the next two songs are examples of the cerebral musical hijinx of Tom Lehrer, of which Dad was fond; he never played or sang the whole songs, but liked to quote selected lines from them.

Lyrics

Spring is here, a-spuh-ring is here.
Life is skittles and life is beer.
I think the loveliest time of the year is the spring.
I do, don’t you? ’Course you do.
But there’s one thing that makes spring complete for me,
And makes every Sunday a treat for me.

All the world seems in tune
On a spring afternoon,
When we’re poisoning pigeons in the park.
Every Sunday you’ll see
My sweetheart and me,
As we poison the pigeons in the park.

When they see us coming, the birdies all try an’ hide,
But they still go for peanuts when coated with cyanide.
The sun’s shining bright,
Everything seems all right,
When we’re poisoning pigeons in the park.

We’ve gained notoriety,
And caused much anxiety
In the Audubon Society
With our games.
They call it impiety
And lack of propriety,
And quite a variety
Of unpleasant names.
But it’s not against any religion
To want to dispose of a pigeon.

So if Sunday you’re free,
Why don’t you come with me,
And we’ll poison the pigeons in the park.
And maybe we’ll do
In a squirrel or two,
While we’re poisoning pigeons in the park.

We’ll murder them all amid laughter and merriment,
Except for the few we take home to experiment.
My pulse will be quickenin’
With each drop of strych’nine
We feed to a pigeon.
(It just takes a smidgin!)
To poison a pigeon in the park.

Back to Music

In Old Mexico (0:30, performed by Tom Lehrer)

I don’t suppose anybody but Lehrer himself could quote this entire song, with its many changes in meter; the part Dad liked to repeat was about the misadventure of the dog Rover.

Lyrics

When it’s fiesta time in Guadalajara,
Then I long to be back once again
In Old Mexico.
Where we lived for today, never giving a thought to tomara.
To the strumming of guitars,
In a hundred grubby bars
I would whisper “Teo amo.”

The mariachis would serenade,
And they would not shut up till they were paid.
We ate, we drank, and we were merry,
And we got typhoid and dysentery.

But best of all, we went to the Plaza de Toros.
Now whenever I start feeling morose,
I revive by recalling that scene.
And names like Belmonte, Dominguin, and Manolete,
If I live to a hundred and eight-tay,
I shall never forget what they mean.

(spoken) For there is surely nothing more beautiful in this world than the sight of a lone man facing single-handedly a half a ton of angry pot roast!

Out came the matador,
Who must have been potted or
Slightly insane, but who looked rather bored.
Then the picadors of course,
Each one on his horse,
I shouted “Olé!” every time one was gored.

I cheered at the banderilleros’ display,
As they stuck the bull in their own clever way,
For I hadn’t had so much fun since the day
My brother’s dog Rover
Got run over.

(spoken) Rover was killed by a Pontiac. And it was done with such grace and artistry that the witnesses awarded the driver both ears and the tail—but I digress.

The moment had come,
I swallowed my gum,
We knew there’d be blood on the sand pretty soon.
The crowd held its breath,
Hoping that death
Would brighten an otherwise dull afternoon.

At last, the matador did what we wanted him to,
He raised his sword and his aim was true.
In that moment of truth, I suddenly knew
That someone had stolen my wallet.

Now it’s fiesta time in Akron, Ohio,
But it’s back to old Guadalajara I’m longing to go.
Far away from the strikes of the A.F. of L. and C.I.O.
How I wish I could get back
To the land of the wetback,
And forget the Alamo,
In Old Mexico. Olé!

Back to Music

The Elements (0:30, performed by Tom Lehrer)

It’s no surprise that a song this incredibly clever would appeal to Dad; I remember that he once said he was going to memorize it, but I don’t think he made the effort.

Lyrics

There’s antimony, arsenic, aluminum, selenium,
And hydrogen and oxygen and nitrogen and rhenium,
And nickel, neodymium, neptunium, germanium,
And iron, americium, ruthenium, uranium,
Europium, zirconium, lutetium, vanadium,
And lanthanum and osmium and astatine and radium,
And gold and protactinium and indium and gallium, (gasp)
And iodine and thorium and thulium and thallium.

There’s yttrium, ytterbium, actinium, rubidium,
And boron, gadolinium, niobium, iridium,
And strontium and silicon and silver and samarium,
And bismuth, bromine, lithium, beryllium, and barium.

(spoken) Isn’t that interesting?
I knew you would.
I hope you’re all taking notes, because there’s going to be a short quiz next period.

There’s holmium and helium and hafnium and erbium,
And phosphorus and francium and fluorine and terbium,
And manganese and mercury, molybdenum, magnesium,
Dysprosium and scandium and cerium and cesium.
And lead, praseodymium and platinum, plutonium,
Palladium, promethium, potassium, polonium,
And tantalum, technetium, titanium, tellurium, (gasp)
And cadmium and calcium and chromium and curium.

There’s sulfur, californium and fermium, berkelium,
And also mendelevium, einsteinium, nobelium,
And argon, krypton, neon, radon, xenon, zinc and rhodium,
And chlorine, carbon, cobalt, copper, tungsten, tin and sodium.

These are the only ones of which the news has come to Hahvard,
And there may be many others but they haven’t been discahvered.

Back to Music

Shaving Cream (0:30, performed by Dr. Demento)

I remember the day when Dad came home in a jolly mood, having just heard this song on the car radio; in fact, he was able to quote most of it after hearing it only once.

Lyrics

I have a sad story to tell you.
It may hurt your feelings a bit.
Last night when I walked into my bathroom,
I stepped in a big pile of ...

Shaving cream, be nice and clean.
Shave every day and you’ll always look keen.

I think I’ll break off with my girlfriend.
Her antics are queer I’ll admit.
Each time I say, “Darling, I love you,”
She tells me that I’m full of ...

Shaving cream, be nice and clean.
Shave every day and you’ll always look keen.

Our baby fell out of the window.
You’d think that her head would be split.
But good luck was with her that morning;
She fell in a barrel of ...

Shaving cream, be nice and clean.
Shave every day and you’ll always look keen.

An old lady died in a bathtub;
She died from a terrible fit.
In order to fulfill her wishes,
She was buried in six feet of ...

Shaving cream, be nice and clean.
Shave every day and you’ll always look keen.

When I was in France with the army,
One day I looked into my kit.
I thought I would find me a sandwich,
But the darn thing was loaded with ...

Shaving cream, be nice and clean.
Shave every day and you’ll always look keen.

And now, folks, my story is ended.
I think it is time I should quit.
If any of you feel offended,
Stick your head in a barrel of ...

Shaving cream, be nice and clean.
Shave every day and you’ll always look keen.

Back to Music

Billboard Song (0:30, performed by Homer & Jethro)

Dad liked to quote bits and pieces of the less cerebral funny stuff, as well. Strangely, though we had the albums at home, he invariably misquoted parts of this song and the next (he said “dog chow” instead of “dog food”). I’m not at all sure why he did that.

Lyrics

When I was walking down the street, a billboard caught my eye.
The advertisements written there would make you laugh and cry.
The sign was torn and tattered from the storm the night before,
And when I read the things they said, well, this is what I sawr:

Smoke Coca-Cola cigarettes. Drink Wrigley’s Spearmint beer.
Ken-L-Ration dog food keeps your wife’s complexion clear.
Chew chocolate-covered mothballs—they always satisfy.
Brush your teeth with Lifebuoy soap and watch the suds go by.

When I recovered from the shock, I went along my way.
I’d gone no further than a block, when there to my dismay,
Another billboard caught my eye, just like the one before,
And as I gazed upon it, well, this is what I sawr:

Take your next vacation in a brand-new Frigidaire.
Learn to play piano in your winter underwear.
Simonize your baby with a Hershey’s candy bar,
And see the difference that Drano makes in all the movie stars!

Back to Music

Back to Music

Surfin’ Bird (0:30, performed by the Trashmen)

This was Dad’s one confessed concession to totally brainless music. Actually, I think much of his enjoyment of this song was the name of the band who performed it.

Lyrics

Well everybody’s heard,
about the bird! bird bird bird,
the bird is the word! bird bird bird,
the bird is the word! well everybody’s heard,
about the bird! bird bird bird,
the bird is the word! everybody’s heard,
about the bird! bird bird bird,
the bird is the word! everybody’s heard,
about the bird! bird bird bird,
the bird is the word! don’t you know about the bird ?
well everybody’s heard,
about the bird! bird bird bird,
the bird is the word! bird bird bird,
the bird is the word! yeah! well everybody’s heard,
about the bird! na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na everybody’s heard,
about the bird! na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na everybody’s heard,
about the bird! everybody’s heard,
about the bird! don’t you know about the bird?
well everybody’s heard,
about the bird! bird bird bird,
the bird is the word! bird bird bird,
the bird is the word! yeah! surfin’ bird!!!! well everybody’s heard,
about the bird! bird bird bird,
the bird is the word! bird bird bird,
the bird is the word! well everybody’s heard,
about the bird! yeah everybody’s heard,
about the bird! everybody’s heard,
about the bird! na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na don’t you know about the bird?
well everybody’s heard,
about the bird! bird bird bird,
the bird is the word! bird bird bird,
the bird is the word! go!! (claps) aaaaaaaaaaaggghhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!! everybody’s heard,
about the bird! everybody’s heard,
about the bird! everybody’s heard,
about the bird! everybody’s heard,
about the bird! everybody’s heard,
about the bird! everybody’s heard,
about the bird! everybody’s heard,
about the bird! everybody’s heard,
about the ...
bird! yeah!!! everybody’s heard,
about the bird! every body’s heard ’bout...
bird!

Back to Music

Rubber Duckie (0:30, performed by Jim Henson, as Ernie)

In our Hudson years we frequented a laundromat in Adrian, and it had a jukebox, and on this Dad always played this song. Dad had little use for most television, but he thought highly of Sesame Street, not least because of some their very enjoyable music.

Lyrics

Rubber Duckie, you’re the one,
You make bathtime lots of fun,
Rubber Duckie, I’m awfully fond of you;
(woh woh, bee doh!)

Rubber Duckie, joy of joys,
When I squeeze you, you make noise!
Rubber Duckie, you’re my very best friend, it’s true!
(doo doo doo doooo, doo doo)

Every day when I
Make my way to the tubby
I find a little fella who’s
Cute and yellow and chubby
(rub-a-dub-a-dubby!)

Rubber Duckie, you’re so fine
And I’m lucky that you’re mine
Rubber duckie, I’m awfully fond of you.

Every day when I
Make my way to the tubby
I find a little fella who’s
Cute and yellow and chubby
(rub-a-dub-a-dubby!)

Rubber Duckie, you’re so fine
And I’m lucky that you’re mine
Rubber duckie, I’m awfully fond of -
Rubber duckie, I’d like a whole pond of -
Rubber duckie I’m awfully fond of you!
(doo doo, be doo.)

Back to Music

The Clarinet Polka (0:50)

The Clarinet Polka (0:30, performed by the Six Fat Dutchmen)

This is a double-feature song. First listen to the one on top (it’s synthesized, but it sounds enough like clarinets); note the background presence of a tuba, giving rhythmic oomp noises. Well, one day back in the 1960’s Dad was driving along, listening to a version by the Six Fat Dutchmen, and it was going as normal, but suddenly the clarinets moved to the background and the tuba played the main part. “I nearly drove off the road when I heard that!” Dad said, and declared that he was going to buy that album at his first opportunity. Very fortunately, the 30-second clip of that very song has the tuba solo.

Back to Music

Dueling Banjos (0:30, performed by Earl Scruggs)

Dueling Banjos (0:30, performed by The Bluegrass Band)

As a fair instrumentalist himself, Dad had a special fondness for this and other pieces by musicians such as Flatt & Scruggs. I have chosen the two portions above from two different parts of the song.

Back to Music

Una Paloma Blanca (0:30, performed by Demis Roussos)

This is a bouncy song that was getting lots of air time in the mid-1970’s. I remember Dad enjoying it (he’d turn the volume up when it came on). He said that this song was the basis for the Flintstones theme, which seems probable.

Lyrics

When the sun shines on the mountain
And the night is on the run
It’s a new day
It’s a new way
And I fly up to the sun

I can feel the morning sunlight
I can smell the new-mown hay
I can hear God’s voice is calling
For my golden sky light way

Una paloma blanca
I’m just a bird in the sky
Una paloma blanca
Over the mountains I fly
No one can take my freedom away

Once I had my share of losing
for they locked me on a chain
Yes they tried to break my power
oh I still can feel the pain

Una paloma blanca
I’m just a bird in the sky
Una paloma blanca
Over the mountains I fly
No one can take my freedom away

Una paloma blanca
I’m just a bird in the sky
Una paloma blanca
Over the mountains I fly
No one can take my freedom away

Back to Music

William Tell Overture (0:30, performed by Glen Campbell)

Dad heard this on the radio and immediately went out and bought a 45 record of it (it was on the B side of “Southern Nights,” which was a much bigger hit but left us comparatively cold). Dad acknowledged that he could never play guitar anywhere near this well, but opined that Larry Marshall probably could.

Back to Music

Unpack Your Adjectives (2:58, performed by Blossom Dearie)

Dad noted with approval the ABC series of educational musicals titled Schoolhouse Rock. His favorite piece to quote was, not surprisingly, the part about the bear.

Lyrics

Got home from camping last spring.
Saw people, places, and things.
We barely had arrived,
Friends asked us to describe
The people, places, and every last thing.
So we unpacked our adjectives.

I unpacked “frustrating” first.
Reached in and found the word “worst.”
Then I picked “soggy” and
Next I picked “foggy” and
Then I was ready to tell them my tale,
’Cause I’d unpacked my adjectives.

Adjectives are words you use to really describe things.
Andy words to carry around.
Days are sunny, or they’re rainy.
Boys are dumb or else they’re brainy.
Adjectives can show you which way.

Adjectives are often used to help us compare things,
To say how thin, how fat, how short, how tall.
Girls who’re tall get taller.
Boys who’re small get smaller,
Till one is the tallest and the other’s the smallest of all.
We hiked along without care.
Then we ran into a bear!
He was a hairy bear!
He was a scary bear!
We beat a hasty retreat from his lair,
And described him with adjectives!

[Spoken] Turtle: Wow! Boy, that was one big, ugly bear!

[Spoken] You can make even adjectives out of the other parts of speech like verbs and nouns. All you have to do is tack on an ending like “-ic” or “-ish” or “-ary.” For example: This boy can grow up to be a huge man, but still have a boyish face. Boy is a noun, but the ending “-ish” makes it an adjective, boyish, that describes the huge man’s face. Get it?

Next time you go on a trip,
Remember this little tip:
The minute you get back,
They’ll ask you this and that.
You can describe people, places, and things.
Simply unpack your adjectives.
You can do it with adjectives.
Tell ’em about it with adjectives.
you can shout it with adjectives.

Back to Music

Music Box Dancer (0:30, performed by Frank Mills)

This is a fun instrumental that became popular (getting lots of play on the country stations, though it can hardly be described as such) around 1979-80. I remember once eating with Dad at a restaurant near Zilwaukee—he’d gone down there to appraise a property and took me along for the ride—and he splurged a bit by playing two songs on the jukebox, this one and River Road, above.

Back to Music

Whispering Hope (1:00)

This song was played at Dad’s memorial service.

Lyrics

Soft as the voice of an angel,
Breathing a lesson unheard,
Hope with a gentle persuasion
Whispers her comforting word:
Wait till the darkness is over,
Wait till the tempest is done,
Hope for the sunshine tomorrow,
After the shower is gone.

Whispering hope, oh how welcome thy voice,
Making my heart in its sorrow rejoice.

If, in the dusk of the twilight,
Dim be the region afar,
Will not the deepening darkness
Brighten the glimmering star?
Then when the night is upon us,
Why should the heart sink away?
When the dark midnight is over,
Watch for the breaking of day.

Whispering hope, oh how welcome thy voice,
Making my heart in its sorrow rejoice.

Hope, as an anchor so steadfast,
Rends the dark veil for the soul,
Whither the Master has entered,
Robbing the grave of its goal.
Come then, O come, glad fruition,
Come to my sad weary heart;
Come, O Thou blest hope of glory,
Never, O never depart.

Whispering hope, oh how welcome thy voice,
Making my heart in its sorrow rejoice.

Back to Music

• Liked the trombone’s (harmony) part of the Star Spangled Banner
• Played guitar
  • Where did he learn, and from whom?
  • Wrists led to strange way of playing
  • Thumb picks
  • also played saxophone and brass (latter out of the side of his mouth)
• Enjoyed a square dance in his younger days
• The Highwayman
• Limericks
• Lewis Carroll
• The Friggin Falcon
• May the bleeding piles assail you...
• Dad carefully wrote music notes for the intended tune for my song “The Hangin’ of Black-Jack Ketchum”

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In addition to being read aloud at Dad’s memorial service, this poem was reprinted on p. 10 of the Brattin Memorial Issue of Michigan Chess.

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