Sunday, February 29, 2004

In for a penny, in for a pound.

Found on a local chat forum...

As certain politicians work diligently to prevent marriage between two people of the same sex, others of us have been busy drafting a Constitutional Amendment codifying all marriages entirely on biblical principles. After all, God wouldn't want us to pick and choose which of the Scriptures we elevate to civil law and which we choose to ignore:

Draft of a Constitutional Amendment to Defend Biblical Marriage:

1. Marriage in the United States of America shall consist of a union between one man and one or more women. (Gen 29:17-28; II Sam 3:2-5.)

2. Marriage shall not impede a man's right to take concubines in addition to his wife or wives. (II Sam 5:13; I Kings 11:3; II Chron 11:21)

3. A marriage shall be considered valid only if the wife is a virgin. If the wife is not a virgin, she shall be executed. (Deut 22:13-21)

4. Marriage of a believer and a non-believer shall be forbidden. (Gen 24:3; Num 25:1-9; Ezra 9:12; Neh 10:30)

5. Since marriage is for life, neither the US Constitution nor any state law shall permit divorce. (Deut 22:19; Mark 10:9-12)

6. If a married man dies without children, his brother must marry the widow. If the brother refuses to marry the widow, or deliberately does not give her children, he shall pay a fine of one shoe and be otherwise punished in a manner to be determined by law. (Gen. 38:6-10; Deut 25:5-10)

7. In lieu of marriage (if there are no acceptable men to be found), a woman shall get her father drunk and have sex with him.(Gen 19:31-36)

I hope this helps to clarify the finer details of the Government's righteous struggle against the infidels and heathens among us.

Eric's note: :-)

Saturday, February 28, 2004

It's not what you say, it's how you say it.

"Having said that..." or "That said..." is a weak and overused expression these days. People precede what they really mean to say with a list of disclaimers and qualifiers.

"He's entertaining and has a big following. Having said that, Rush Limbaugh is a drug-addled hypocrite and probably a closeted gay man filled with self-loathing." Seems to me that the stronger and less pretentious word choice is "however."

I'm tired of people asking questions of themselves. I can't decide whether it's a place-holder that gives the speaker more time to think through what he means to say, like "Ummm," or if it's merely pretentious. Donald Rumsfeld uses this construct a lot, but he uses it to ask himself the questions he really wants to answer while avoiding the actual questions reporters ask.

"Do I understand why people ask themselves questions? Not entirely. Do I think that such people could be more direct? Definitely. Do I find it annoying? Without a doubt."

Just when you think the weather is getting better, there's always someone around to tell you about the Perfect Storm. The phrase comes from the story of the sailors lost at sea, the story from which we got the movie with George Clooney. You remember. Lately, people use "the perfect storm" to describe any collection of causes that lead to one effect which may or may not be stormlike. Howard Dean's campaign in Iowa used it to describe how the mood of the electorate, the superior statewide organization, high-profile endorsements and a fat bankroll would combine to win the caucuses for him. Of course, that storm turned out to be less than perfect. I've also heard it used to describe the deficit, better than expected GNP increases, and environmental crises. Look for the "perfect storm" to be on this years' Banished Words List.

Am I being a little picky here? I don't think so, but I'm sure someone disagrees with me. Is clarity and directness too much to ask from speakers of English? Apparently. Having said that, these three expressions have created a Perfect Storm of linguistic peevishness for me.


And I'm not sure there's anything I can do about it.

Wednesday, February 25, 2004

Feel the fear.



The fear is palpable, isn't it? Women like these,
just married, will be the undoing of the American
social fabric.



I'm a-skeered. Aren't you?
I mean, shouldn't the gummint make this illegal?



Yes, people like this will be the undoing of our nation.
They're just too damn happy.
Why can't they understand that the rest of us need them to be
unhappy so we can feel good about the institution of
marriage?



Come on. If we let people like this marry,
who's next? Polygamists? Pedophiles?
Aren't you afraid yet?



My god, lesbians would teach their babies how to be homosexual.
Then where would we be?



Now, this is what we really fear.
A marriage certificate would legitimize such frightening behavior.
It would make them equal to us.
Worse, it would make us no better than them, and we know that's
not possible, right?
We're better because...
Because...

Homophobia: The irrational fear of gays and lesbians, bisexuals
and transgenders, and now, the basis for an amendment to the Constitution.

Tuesday, February 24, 2004

New Hampshire Redux

So, I don't feel like making a photo page for my New Hampshire pics. I found all sorts of free javascript to make slideshows, but most of them used goofy PowerPoint-like effects to replace one picture with another.

Here's the Volunteer Headquarters in North Conway, just a well-wired room in a proto-stripmall. It had two good things to speak of: a bathroom and its closeness to a Subway shop two doors down.

This is the view of the White Mountains from the office porch. Remember, the White Mts. are in New Hampshire. The Green Mts. are in Vermont.

Here are some shots from the rally at Josiah Bartlett Elementary: a cool scoreboard, the media gaggle, and the stage with Martin Sheen. (The poster to the left of the stage came down during Sheen's Q & A but was caught before it hit the ground by Alert Dean Intern Chris.)

Sunday morning some volunteers had brunch in a large but quaint historic restaurant. Not everything is quaint and historic up there--it just seems that way.

Of course, no travelog of New England would be complete without a picture of a covered bridge. And yes, Jackson, NH is quaint, thanks for asking.



Care to take this outside, Mr. President?

Saturday 21 February 2004

President George W. Bush
The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue NW
Washington DC 20500

Dear President Bush,

Over the last week, you and your campaign have initiated a widespread attack on my service in Vietnam, my decision to speak out to end that war, and my commitment to the defense of this nation. Just today, Saxby Chambliss-- a man elected to the US Senate on the back of one of the most despicable campaigns ever conducted against Max Cleland, a true American Hero-- was carrying this attack for you.

As you well know, Vietnam was a very difficult and painful period in our nation's history, and the struggle for our veterans continues. So, it has been hard to believe that you would choose to re-open these wounds for your personal political gain. But, that is what you have chosen to do.

I am fighting to become the presidential nominee of the Democratic Party. Even before Democrats make their choice, you've launched a campaign of attacks against me. I am determined to run a campaign on the great challenges facing this country-- from creating jobs, to solving our health care crisis to getting our nation's ballooning deficit under control. But I will not sit back and allow my patriotism to be challenged.

America deserves a better debate. If you want to debate the Vietnam era, and the impact of our experiences on our approaches to presidential leadership, I am prepared to do so.

This is not a debate to be distorted through your $100 million dollar campaign fund. This is a debate that should be conducted face to face.

Mr. President, I hope you will conduct a campaign worthy of this nation's future.

Sincerely,



John Kerry


Friends Don't Let Friends Vote "Nader"

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
Monday 23 February 2004

Contact: Jay Carson, 802-345-2348

BURLINGTON--Governor Howard Dean, M.D., issued the following statement today in response to Ralph Nader's announcement:

"When I announced last week that I am no longer actively pursuing the presidency, I urged my supporters not to be tempted by any independent or third party candidate. I said I would support the nominee of the Democratic Party, because the bottom line is that we must defeat George W. Bush in November, whatever it takes.

"This year, our campaign has made the case that, in order to defeat George W. Bush, the Democratic Party must stand up strong for its principles, not paper over its differences with the most radical Administration in our lifetime. In order to win, the Democratic Party must aggressively expose the ways in which George W. Bush's policies benefit the privileged and the most extreme ideologues.

"I will do everything I can to ensure that the 2004 Democratic nominee runs as a true progressive, as a champion of working Americans and their hopes for a better future. I urge my supporters, and all other Americans committed to progressive values and honest government, to stick with us, and stick with the Democratic Party, so our cause can prevail in 2004.

"Ralph Nader has made many great contributions to America over 40 years. But if George W. Bush is re-elected, the health, safety, consumer, environmental, and open government provisions Ralph Nader has fought for will be undermined. George Bush's right-wing appointees will still be serving as judges fifty years from now, and our Constitution will be shredded. It will be government by, of, and for, the corporations--exactly what Ralph Nader has struggled against."

Wednesday, February 18, 2004

24

Spoiler alert. If you haven't seen the 2/17 broadcast yet, don't read any further.

All I can say is that it's about damned time that Jack took out Nina. Apparently, she became the go-to girl for international terrorism after she left CTU. I mean, were there no other terrorists for Jack to run into? Or maybe she was just the West Coast terrorist on duty?

Anyway, it was a bit of poetic justice for Jack to face Nina down on the very spot where she killed his wife. But now that she's gone, do we know why she was a terrorist? Clearly she wasn't ideological. What motivated her? Nina Myers we hardly knew ye.

What's with the drug addiction interrogation? What difference does a month make? As though Jack took an extra month for recreational use before it was "necessary" for him to be addicted. And then, Chappelle and the interrogator are willing to lie about the month in which Jack started using. So, why have the interrogation at all if you'll just sign off on the report so that Jack looks good? I had to laugh at this storyline.

Apparently, Chappelle's hypocrisy gets worse next episode; I saw a teaser with him interrogating Jack about his shooting Nina in self-defense. They made a point in this episode of showing her hand reaching--twitching?--toward the gun on the floor. But the security video in that room can't see Nina's hand because Jack is in the way. Come on, Chappelle-- Nina had just murdered the entire emergency room staff. If Jack was even in the same building as Nina, he was acting in self-defense. Besides, just moments before this you were ready to lie to make Jack's drug use seem more palatable. Ai-yi-yi!

Chase has a baby and Kim is upset. Good grief. "All My Children Search For Tomorrow As The World Turns."

Palmer sends out Sherry, his Mistress of the Political Dark Arts, to make the Milliken problem "go away." When she returns, he wants to hear the gory details. Excuse me, but that makes no sense at all.

So, overall, I thought it was a pretty good, pretty tense episode. :-)

Tuesday, February 17, 2004

A Sure Sign My Child Is Watching Too Much TV

Last night Jackson wanted me to tell him when it was "Eight, Seven Central." I asked him if he meant eight o'clock. "No, Dad: eight, seven central."

Monday, February 16, 2004

One of my friends, a Kucinich supporter, was hurt by my statement that Kucinich has an excellent platform but is completely unelectable. Now that Kerry has the highest Electability Quotient I've been hoisted on my own petard. And yet, as much as I dislike Kerry and the dirty campaign tactics he used against Dean, I think I understand. Ideally, we'd vote for the person who best represents our values. But this ain't no ideal situation. We cannot abide another four years of this president. We can't have any more wars of choice, any more deepening of the deficit, any more erosion of our civil liberties, any more children left behind, any more disparity between the rich and the poor, or any more people losing their health insurance. We can't. With so much at stake we have to shelve our idealism. For now. I can only hope that we'll be allowed to dust it off and use it again soon.

So, Kerry voters, I understand. But would you just take another look at Howard Dean? Please?

At random...

Today I'm home with the boys for their "Winter Weekend," the break that was really designed, I think, to raise teacher morale. Julie used to return to school after New Year's Day slump-shouldered and sighing. "It's a long time until Easter break," she'd mumble, and drag her book bags through the snow to the car. With a winter break in the schedule, teachers only have to survive five or six weeks at a time before they can rest a bit. It's not too bad for kids, either. And non-teacher dads like me even benefit: "Sorry, boss. Winter Weekend. Childcare. See you next Tuesday." I wouldn't feel so good about it if I didn't have paid vacation days, though.

In between cooking and cleaning, I'm working on da blog. This CSS stuff is pretty cool. My next project is to design a picture page.

ANGst

If I may just mention the Bush ANG debate... The dittoheads who yell at me in the local forums say it's a non-issue. He got an honorable discharge, end of story. But this guy got into the WH because of his image as a straight-shooter. He supposedly oozed integrity, and said he would restore it to the White House. But the gaps, the inability to find people who saw him in Alabama, etc., make this all about credibility. Which reminds me of the cover of Time this week: on a two-faced picture of Bush it says, "Does Bush Have a Credibility Gap?" Hey, if you have to ask....

There's so much info out there on Bush's missing year(s) in the ANG, but the best source I've found is Kevin Drum's Calpundit. In his 2/15/04 entry he evaluates the credibility of Bill Burkett's story that Bush's ANG record was cleansed in 1998 and finds it credible. I respect Mr. Drum's writing and analysis; maybe you will, too.

Sunday, February 08, 2004

Time passes so quickly. I knew I hadn't posted since the night before the NH primary, but it's hard to believe that that was so long ago. Now I'm forced to choose between the historical (election day reflections and the trip home) and the present, or at least recent, political stuff--not to mention the cool Ypsilanti stuff that's been going on. And, of course, there are the pictures that I promised. So, I feel overwhelmed by my debt to the two or three faithful readers of my little blog.

Let's start with election day in New Hampshire. As more detailed stories come to mind, I'll post them.

I arrived at Dean Volunteer Central at 6:30, feeling like I had let people down by not showing at 6 a.m. I was immediately assigned Wolfesboro duty, along with Melissa T*homas. Melissa and I had clicked early on in my tenure because we were the two greatest smartasses in the North Conway office. I was pleased to finally work with her, and I think Melissa felt the same way. Little did I know that she's a PhD political economist from the Kennedy School, and a lawyer, working for the World Bank in the field of government corruption. I have a few stories about world travel, thanks to the navy, but nothing like this lady has to say. I wish I could invite her to at least one dinner party a year, just to remind us all of how provincial our foreign policy can be.

In Wolfesboro we were immediately sent to the polling station, a tall-spired protestant church. The local custom was for partisans to stand on the side of the driveway further away from the church, which we did. The local Dean group couldn't have been nicer. They all wanted to know where we hailed from, enough that Melissa and I took turns speaking first and second, and they all thanked us profusely for being there to get out the vote for Howard Dean. We were treated to coffee, hot chocolate and doughnuts, given commemorative hats and scarves, and regaled as the "true heroes of the campaign." You know, a guy could learn to like this kind of lifestyle. Except for having to do the Dean Volunteer Upper Body Workout. And yet, I did it, joyfully, thanks to the company I kept on this subzero election day.

Melissa decided we needed an American flag at our post. With directions from the locals (and some redirections once we got downtown) she bought a 3' x 4' flag at the hardware store, which we waved along with our Dean signs. Apparently, this was too much for some voters, as I watched their faces turn to disgust when they passed us. (Those folks always had Bush-Cheney bumperstickers, by the way.) Melissa said that it was her tradition to buy a flag for every event in which she participated, just to remind the opposition that the flag belongs to all of us. At the time, I shrugged her off with an "of course" kind of reaction. In retrospect, I admire her choice and I plan to emulate her.

As I said, waving the American flag with the Dean signs was too much for some. Once, an eightyish man furiously rolled down the window of his 1980ish Oldsmobile and yelled, "How will you feel when HE is in office and has his FINGER on the BUTTON?" We Deaniacs glanced at each other and shrugged. "Just fine!" I responded, to which he shook his head violently and rolled up his window as if to prevent the spread of my disease. (Naturally, the Good Response came to me after he was beyond earshot: "Safer than I do now!" I should have said.)

I think I experienced democracy in it's most basic form that day.
It involved a seventy-ish Dean supporter--I feel horrible now not being able to remember her name--Jeanine, I think it was--but she was a spitfire regardless of her age, and damned funny, too. (We had chatted briefly at Wolfesboro's Dean command center, which was that 19th century farm house I had dreamt about, except that it was converted into a business electronics equipment office, replete with super-efficient wood-burning stoves in every old fireplace.) Anyway, as this charming woman and I stood outside the church and spoke about the wretched Bush Administration, a huge green GM car with a beige landau roof pulled up next to us. The driver rolled down the passenger window to talk to my friend.

"Jeanine? Is that you?"
"Of COURSE it is, Harold. How are you?"
"I'm fine," he yelled, "except that I can't understand that sign you're holding!"
"It's for Howard Dean," she yelled back. "What's so hard to understand?"
"Well, it's hard to understand why you're supportin' gay marriage, that's what!"
"Dean supports 'civil unions!' And what's wrong with that? Those folks deserve rights, too!"
"No they don't," Harold said. "It's unnatural!"
"'Course they do! They're not going away, Harold! And they deserve the same rights as the rest of us!"
"No they don't, Jeanine! What's wrong with you?" Harold asked.
"Nothin' at all, Harold! What are you gonna do--shoot 'em all?"
"Yeah, that's right!" he said, laughing. I got the impression that he was trying to be funny, but none of us thought it was funny--especially Jeanine.
"You go on, then. I don't want to talk to you any more," she said and turned toward me. Harold shook his head and drove up the driveway.
"I'm very embarrassed that you had to witness that," she said. "We're not all Neanderthals up here in the wilds of New Hampshire."
"I know that," I said, thinking of every Dean volunteer I had met that day, and yet feeling sorry for her. She was afraid that I would leave Wolfesboro with the impression of Harold foremost on my memory. Quite the contrary: I'll always remember Jeanine and her spirit.

The Celebration Party in Jackson, NH was short-lived for me. Upon our arrival at the bar, a smug Wolf Blitzer was declaring Kerry the winner with only 8% reporting. Of course, it only got worse that night. I waved good-bye to my newfournd comrades, traded email addys with a few, and I went back to the condo to pack. That night, my roommates had given me a key that supposedly opened the door to the condo. I drove 25 minutes, expecting to be packed and in bed by 10 p.m. Unfortunately, the key didn't work. It took me several hours to track down my roommates so that I could go to bed "early," as in 12:30 a.m.

My return trip was mostly safe. I ran into a snowstorm in western Quebec and eastern Ontario. Three hours east of Toronto I hit an ice patch that had already taken out six or eight cars. I didn't have any traction, either, and chose to bail out in the median rather than hit the truck in front of me. I was lucky. I maintained enough steering control (no wait--that part was *skill*, not luck) to nose into the shallow gully and point the car back up to the road. There was only 12" to 16" of powder snow, so I ran the car up and down the side of the gully until I had momentum enough to burst through the plowed snow on the shoulder's edge. All told, I was off the road for less than a minute, but my knuckles were white for several hours more. :-)