Depression Medications: New Drug, New Personality.

When my Prozac first kicked in in December 1994, the skies parted and light streamed in on me. That night, Julie and Andrew and I were walking through the Christmas light display at Riverside Park. I remember the pure joy I felt at being with my family, talking about the lights, and starting a leaf-tossing fight. I was Gene Kelly singing in the rain having my first joy in many, many years.

Eventually I had what they call "Prozac Poop-Out", when the Prozac doesn't seem to work anymore -- even at the maximum 80-mg dose. My psychopharmacologist recommended Celexa, so I switched.

I haven't felt as good since, and I feel pretty crappy now. When I was on Vitamin P, I was decisive and assertive. "Better to beg forgiveness than ask permission" was my philosophy. I loved living and found joy in my work. Celexa was good enough as an anti-asshole pill, but I have been dithering for months--years--now. Lately, even the drug's anti-asshole qualities have diminished. I've been deep enough into depression in the last few months that I've blown off all my heart related appointments and my labwork for diabetes. None of it mattered. Julie and my mom believe I'm committing suicide by a passive agression caused by self-loathing. So I spoke with my physician today.

He understood me. He prescribed Prozac and told me to stop taking Celexa. He decided that my situation warranted an immediate substitution of Prozac for Celexa, as opposed to tapering off one drug and gradually building up the next. I was happy to hear his verdict, even though I believe I'll have a rough patch during the transition. But I look forward to getting my dose of Vitamin P and recapturing the Me that I know is Me.

Should you see an Eric that you can't abide, please say something. But I think you'll be pleased with the results of my change.