Funny things my flight attendant said on Spirit
You may have seen an e-mail like this before....something
like "Actual Airplane Announcements." But I heard these ones
FIRST HAND. After a few, I grabbed a piece of paper and started writing
them down. We had the most entertaining flight crew EVER on my way back
from Florida. They made it a little easier to go from 70 degrees to 3
degrees in two hours.
- "For those of you who have never ridden in a car
before, here's how a seat belt works....."
- "These seat belts are designed for your safety,
as well as our sanity."
- "You should wear your seat belt below the hips
and very tight, just like Britney Spears' jeans."
- "This is a non-smoking flight. However, we do have a
smoking section; it's out on the wing. We're going 500 miles an hour,
so if you can light it, go ahead and smoke it."
- (nighttime flight) "After takeoff we will dim the
cabin lights, due to the appearance of our flight attendants."
- "Anyone caught trying to dismantle the smoke
detector in the bathroom will be asked to leave the plane immediately."
- "Ladies and gentlemen, we have now reached our
cruising altitude, so you may turn on electronic devices such as laptop
computers, CD players, and George Foreman grills."
- "Welcome to Detroit, where the temperature is a
balmy 3 degrees. Please remain seated until we reach the gate and the
Captain has turned off the Seatbelt sign. For those of you who smoke,
you really should quit."
- "Sorry about that bumpy landing. It wasn't
the pilot's fault. Actually, it wasn't the plane's fault either.
It was the ASPHALT."
- It is our highest priority at Spirit to ensure that
you have an enjoyable flight that leaves and arrives on time. If you
have any complaints about today's experience, please submit them via the
Internet at www.northwest.com.
After the pre-flight routine, during which she spewed
most of these one-liners, all of the passengers gave her an ovation, and most
shook her hand or even hugged her on the way out. I
wanted to have my picture taken with her for this website, but my camera was in
the bowels of my carry-on, and I was too anxious
to get out into the bone chilling weather.
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