[Back to Scene 17]

[In the honeymoon suite. Amidala and Anakin are lying on the bed.]

Amidala: Oh, Anakin, will you ever forgive me?

Anakin: What hideous sin have you committed lately?

Amidala: I got married. I didn't want to. It all happened so fast.

Anakin: Never happened.

Amidala: What?

Anakin: Never happened.

Amidala: But it did. I was there. This old man said "man and wife".

Anakin: Did you say "I do"?

Amidala: Uh, no. We sort of skipped that part.

Anakin: Then you're not married. If you didn't say it, you didn't do it. Wouldn't you agree, Senator?

Palpatine: A technicality that will shortly be remedied. But first things first. To the death.

Anakin: No! To the pain.

Palpatine: I don't think I'm quite familiar with that phrase.

Anakin: I'll explain. And I'll use small words so that you'll be sure to understand, you warthog-faced buffoon.

Palpatine: That may be the first time in my life a man has dared insult me.

Anakin: It won't be the last. To the pain means the first thing you will lose will be your feet below the ankles. Then your hands at the wrists, next your nose.

Palpatine: And then my tongue, I suppose. I killed you too quickly the last time, a mistake I don't mean to duplicate tonight.

Anakin: I wasn't finished! The next thing you will lose will be your left eye, followed by your right.

Palpatine: And then my ears, I understand, let's get on with it.

Anakin: Wrong! Your ears you keep, and I'll tell you why. So that every shriek of every child at seeing your hideousness will be yours to cherish. Every babe that weeps at your approach, ever woman who cries out "Dear God, what is that thing?" will echo in your perfect ears. That is what "to the pain" means. It means I leave you in anguish, wallowing in freakish misery forever.

Palpatine:I think you're bluffing.

Anakin: It's possible, pig. I might be bluffing. It's conceivable, you miserable vomitous mass, I'm only lying here because I lack the strength to stand. Then again, perhaps I have the strength after all.

[Anakin stands up slowly and energizes his lightsaber.]

Anakin: Drop... your... sword. [Palpatine deactivates his saber and drops it] Have a seat. [To Amidala]Tie him up. Make it as tight as you like.

Palpatine:Urr! [Obi-Wan dashes into the room, still dripping blood.] Obi-Wan: Where's Yoda?

Anakin: I thought he was with you.

Obi-Wan: No.

Anakin: [Anakin begins walking toward Obi-wan] In that case, whooooa! [His legs give out and he grabs at a bedpost for support]

Obi-Wan: Help him.

Amidala: Why does Anakin need helping?

Obi-Wan: Because he has no strength to stand.

Palpatine:I knew it! I knew you were bluffing! I knew he was [Obi-Wan's blade appears at his throat]... bluffing.

Obi-Wan: Shall I dispatch him for you? Anakin: Thank you, but no. Whatever happens to us, I want him to live a long life alone with his cowardice.

Yoda: Obi-Wan! Obi-Wan! Where are you? [Obi-wan goes to a nearby window. Yoda is waiting below. Four speeder bikes are hovering behind him.]
Oh, there you are. Obi-Wan, the Chancellor's hangar I saw, and there they were, four white speeder bikes. And I thought, four of us there are, if we ever find the lady. Hello, lady! So I took them with me I did, in case we ever bumped into each other. I guess we just did.

Obi-Wan: Yoda, you did something right.

Yoda: Don't worry, to my pointy ears will it not go.

[Go to Scene 19]

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