[Back to Scene 15] [Before the wedding, somewhere in Theed Palace.] Palpatine: You don't seem excited, my little muffet. Amidala: Should I be? Palpatine: Brides often are, I'm told. Amidala: I do not marry tonight. My Anakin will save me. [Scene: The Chapel Royal] Voice: [distant] Stand your ground, droids, stand your ground! Oh dear, oh dear! [Scene: outside the Palace gate] Threepio: Stand your ground! Oh, my! [Yoda, with holocaust cloak, stands atop the astromech droid's periscope. Quite a strange sight they are, a six-foot tall green-skin with small head and pointy ears. Obi-wan is ducking behind the struggling astromech, dragging Anakin with him.] Yoda: The Sith Lord Vader am I! No survivors will there be! Obi-Wan: Now? Anakin: Not yet. Yoda: Many are here, I am here. But soon, you will not be here. Obi-Wan: Now? Anakin: Light him. Yoda: The Sith Lord takes no survivors! All your worst nightmares are about to come true!*
[Back in the Chapel]
[back outside]
Voice: Stay where you are! Fight! Stay
where you are! Impressive Clergyman: So tweasuwe youw wove, -- Palpatine:Skip to the end. Clergyman: Have you the wing?
Amidala: Here comes my Anakin now. Anakin: Yoda, the blast doors! [As the blast doors close between Threepio and the trio, Yoda makes a small gesture with his hand. The doors suddenly stop and, with a whine of overstressed servos, open again.] [In the chapel again] Palpatine: Your Anakin is dead. I killed him myself. Amidala: Then why is there fear behind your eyes? [outside again] Anakin: Give us the access code. Threepio: I have no access code. I am, however, fluent in over six million forms of--. Obi-Wan: Yoda, tear his arms off. Threepio: How rude! Obi-Wan: Yoda, his arms. Threepio: Oh, you mean this access code. [Back in the chapel] Impressive Clergyman: And do you, Qween Amidaaawwaa,-- Palpatine: Man and wife! Say man and wife!! Impressive Clergyman: Man and wife. Palpatine: Escort the bride to the honeymoon suite. I'll be there shortly. Amidala: He didn't come. [A corridor in the palace. Darth Maul and a number of battle-droids encounter Obi-Wan, Yoda, and Anakin. Yoda is levitating Anakin along.] Lord Maul: Kill the sprout-headed one and the midget, but leave the third for questioning. [Obi-wan ignites his lightsaber and obliterates the droids. Lord Maul ignites his own and engages Obi-Wan but is steadily retreating.] Obi-Wan: Hello. My name is Obi-Wan Kenobi. You killed my Master. Prepare to die. [Lord Maul steps backward and a blast door drops between ] Yoda!!!!!! I need you!!!!! Yoda: I can't leave him alone.
Obi-Wan: He's
getting away from me, Yoda!!! Please!!! Arr!!! Yoda!!! Aaargh!! Yoda: Return I will. Obi-Wan: Arr! Arrgh! [Yoda raises his hand and gestures at the door. The blast door is blown off its rails in a shower of sparks and smashes into the far wall.] Obi-Wan: Thank you. [Scene: A different corridor somwehere in the Palace] Chancellor: Strange wedding. Chancellor's Aide: Yes. A very strange wedding. Come along. Chancellor: [Amidala kisses him] What was that for? Amidala: Because you've always been so kind to me, and I won't be seeing you again, since I'm killing myself once we reach the honeymoon suite. Chancellor: Won't that be nice? She kissed me! [laughs] [Scene: In a castle stairway to cellar dining room. Obi-Wan is bleeding badly from a dagger thrown my Lord Maul.] Obi-Wan: Sorry, my Master. I tried. I tried. Lord Maul: You must be that little Padawan brat I taught a lesson to all those years ago. Simply incredible. Have you been chasing me your whole life, only to fail now? I think that's the worst thing I've ever heard. How marvelous. [Scene: Honeymoon suite. Amidala has taken a jeweled dagger out of its box and is about to kill herself. She doesn't see Anakin lying on the bed behind her.] Anakin: There's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. 'Twould be a pity to damage yours. Amidala: Anakin! Oh, Anakin darling! Anakin, why won't you hold me? Anakin: Gently. Amidala: At a time like this, that's all you can think to say, "gently"? Anakin: Gently! [thumps head] Urr!
[Go to Scene 17] [Go to the Index] |
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[Int: the Chapel Royal at Theed Palace] |
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* Editor's Note: Battle droids, do, in fact, have dreams and consequently, nightmares. These frequently involve being disassembled or turned into common household appliances. A food processor is the absolute worst fate for any droid. It should be noted that only androids, and not battledroids, dream electric sheep. |
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["Your Anakin is dead. I killed him myself."] |
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