[Back to the Scene 2]
[Scene: Outside Theed Palace. Amidala is riding a speeder bike]
Ben Kenobi: "Amidala's emptiness consumed her. Although the law of the land gave Senator
Palpatine the right to choose his bride, she did not love him. Despite Senator
Palpatine's reassurances that she would grow to love him, the only joy she
found was in her daily speeder bike excursions."
Nute Gunray: A word, my lady. We are but poor, lost Jedi Council rejects. Is there a settlement nearby?
Amidala: There is nothing nearby, not for some miles.
Nute Gunray: Then there will be no one to hear you scream! [Gunray ties up and gags amidala]
Obi-Wan: What is that you're ripping?
Nute Gunray: It's fabric from the uniform of an army officer of the Trade Federation.
Yoda: Who's the Trade Federation?
Nute Gunray: The people with the orbital blockade, the sworn enemy of Naboo. [He puts the speeder on autopilot and sends it off]
Nute Gunray:Go! [The four board a nullgrav skiff] Once the speeder bike reaches the palace, the fabric will make the Senator suspect the the Trade Federation has abducted his bride. When he finds her body dead at the nearest Trade Federation outpost, his suspicions will be totally confirmed.
Yoda: Say anything about killing anyone, you did not.
Nute Gunray: I've hired you to help me start a war. It's perfectly legal, you know. It's a prestigious line of work, with a long and glorious tradition.
Yoda: Think killing an innocent girl is right, I do not.
Nute Gunray: Am I going mad, or did the word "THINK" escape your lips? YOU WERE NOT HIRED FOR YOUR BRAINS, YOU MICROSCOPIC LAND MASS!
Obi-Wan: I agree with Yoda.
Nute Gunray: OH! THE PADAWAN HAS SPOKEN! WHAT HAPPENS TO HER IS NOT TRULY YOUR CONCERN. I WILL KILL HER, AND REMEMBER THIS, NEVER FORGET THIS: WHEN I FOUND YOU, YOU WERE SO SLOBBERING INCOMPETENT, YOU COULDN'T EVEN MIND-WHAMMY AN EWOK! AND YOU! FRIENDLESS, BRAINLESS, HELPLESS, HOPELESS! DO YOU WANT ME TO SEND YOU BACK TO WHERE YOU WERE, UNEMPLOYED, IN DAGOBAH!!!
Obi-Wan: That Nute Gunray, he can fuss.
Yoda: Fuss, fuss...I think he like to scream... at us.
Obi-Wan: Probably he means no harm.
Yoda: He's really very short on... charm.
Obi-Wan: You have a great gift for rhyme.
Yoda: Yes, yes, some of the time.
Nute Gunray: Enough of that!
Obi-Wan: Yoda, are there rocks ahead?
Yoda: If there are, we'll all be dead!
Nute Gunray: No more rhymes now, I mean it!
Yoda: Anybody want a peanut?
Nute Gunray: DYEEAAHHHHHH!!
[Go to Scene 4]
[Go to the Index]
[Nute Gunray, Viceroy of the Trade Federation...]
[Yoda:Powerful, one-meter land mass...]
[Obi-Wan Kenobi: Revenge-seeking Jedi...]
[Yoda and Obi-Wan practice rhyming, to Nute's dismay...]