Jokes of the Period
A man asked his neighbour, which was but late married to a widow, how he agreed with his wife,
for he said that her first husband and she could never agree.
"By God," quod the other, "we agree marvelous well."
"I pray ye, how so?"
"Marry," quod the other, "I shall tell ye. When I am merry, she is merry,
and when I am sad, she is sad. For when I go out of my doors I am merry to go from her,
and so is she. And when I come in again I am sad, and so is she." [pub. 1526]
A kind wife followed her husband to the gallows; and he requesting her not to trouble herself any
further, she answered, "Ah, yes, dear husband, now that I am come thus far, faith,
I'll see you hanged too, God willing, before I go." [pub. 1595]
A certain jealous husband followed his wife to confession; whom when the priest should lead
behind the alter to be displied [disciplined by beating], the husband, perceiving it, and
doubting the worst, cried unto him, saying, "Hear ye, master parson, I pray you let
me be displied for her."
And kneeling down before the priest, "I pray you," quod the wife to the priest,
"strike him hard, for I am a great sinner." [pub. 1583]
- How many calves' tails behoveth to reach from the earth to the sky?
...No more but one, an it be long enough.
- What beast is it that hath her tail between her eyes?
...It is a cat when she licketh her arse.
- How may a man know or perceive a cow in a flock of sheep?
...By sight.
- What is it that freezeth never?
...That is hot water.
- What thing is it, the less it is, the more it is dread?
...A bridge.
- Which was first, the hen or the egg?
...The hen, when God made her.
- What time in the year beareth a goose most feathers?
...When the gander is upon her back.
[English, ca. 1550, tr. from French, ca. 1500, some from Italian, possibly as early as ca.1420]
A Spaniard travelling on the way alighted at a poor inn, and they asked him his name. He
answered, "Don Pedro Gonzales Gayetan deGuevara." Whereunto they
replied, "Sir, we have not meat enough for so many." [pub. 1595 in English,
before 1500 in Italian]
A felon at the gallows said unto the hangman, "Villain, better yet be hanged than be a
hangman, like thee."
"True," answered the hangman, "were it not for hanging." [pub. 1595]
from:
Wardroper, John; Jest Upon Jest, A Selection from the Jestbooks and Collections of Merry Tales published from the Reign of Richard III to
George III; London: Routledge & Kegan Paul, 1970.
ISBN 07100 6754 2
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