These gems were turned in by our very own exalted conductor, Jerry Custer... Enjoy! --suzi Q: What do you call a person who hangs around an orchestra but can't make music? A: A percussionist. Q: And what do you do with a percussionist who can't count? A: Take away one of his sticks and promote him. Q: What's the difference between a bull and an orchestra? A: On a bull, the horns are in the front and the a**hole's at the back. Q: What's the difference between a Porsche and a conductor? A: Most musicians in an orchestra have actually LOOKED at a Porsche.

A violinist calls the symphony office and asks to speak with the
conductor. Sadly, the receptionist says that this is impossible: the
maestro passed away suddenly during the night. The violinist repeats
the call 20 times in a row. "Why do you keep calling, asking the same
question?" asks the receptionist. "I just like to hear you say it,"
the violinist replies.