I do, and sometimes Pepto-Bismol just won't make it pass. When this happens the best thing to do is simply surrender to the impulse and hope you don't embarass yourself. And if you do embarass yourself, just hope that is isn't on any of the backup tapes.
These are ones that were on the backup tapes. They're in reverse posting order, newest stuff at the top.
The Wit And Wisdom of Chairman Steve
This collects a lot of one-liners and one-paragraphers that have emerged over the years. Assembled July 1998, added to occasionally since then, posted here Dec 2000.
.sigfile Fodder
One-liners I've known, loved, and used as .sigfile fodder.
Sgt. Steve's Rules of Order
Some years ago I was elected president of a volunteer organization. One part of this was running our twice-yearly business meeting. When I stepped down as president, the membership asked if I'd continue to run the business meetings because “you run them like an old drill sergeant”. That's how I got the nickname ‘Sgt. Steve’, and I started jokingly referring to “Sgt. Steve's Rules of Order.” Eventually someone asked for a copy of the Rules and I wrote them down. Here are are. Written down in the late 90s, posted publicly a few years later.
The Real Scoop on Michigan Seasons
There's been a lot of whinging and moaning lately about the change of seasons in Michigan. Some say there are only two, Winter and Road Construction. Others talk about week-long (or rather, week-short) springs and over-long winters. The problem here is that people are being a little short on facts and a little unfair on durations. So without further ado, here's what the seasons are really like in Michigan. Written June 12, 1996, posted here June 21, 1996.
The Amazing Ginsu PC!
It was time to sell my old computer, so I went browsing the net to see what going price was. Along the way I learned that most ads that folks write for computers are deadly boring. So rather than go with the trend, I decided to add a little entertainment to the blend. The result was a lot of fun and occasioned two sequels, printed here along with the original ad. Written in July 1990, cleaned up and posted here April 27, 1996.
The Long Dark Night of Dexter
Sometimes Dexter seems to be getting bigger every time we turn around. It's slowly losing some of it's small-town feel and features, and that's a cause for regret. Then some letters from friends reminded me that everything is relative... Written March 30, 1996, cleaned up and posted here April 26, 1996.
Home, Hearth, and Friendship
My friend Elizabeth was considering job offers in Switzerland. She polled her friends for comments. This was my response. Written March 8, 1996, posted here March 15, 1996.
The World Intrudes on the Internet
For the longest time the Internet was this very private little world, filled with like-minded folks. We spoke our own little language, and knowing that language was a mark of the guru. Now you can find out about it at the local bookstore, and that's kind of a loss. Warning: this essay contains strong language and is full of rampant techo-dweebdom. Written early April, 1996, posted here April 14, 1996.
