This is a list of top ten dialogues in hindi movies
 
  10.     Kuttay, Kameenay mai tumhe jaan se maar doonga
  9.      Mai tumhara ehasaan zindagi bhar nahin bhuloonga
  8.      Itnay paisay tum kahan se laaye?
  7.      Main tumharay bina mar jaa-oongi.
  6.      Bacchhhaaaaaooooo.....
  5.      Yeh anyay hai bhagwan
  4.      Bataoo, heeray kahan hai.
  3.      Tum may-re liye mar chuke ho.
  2.      Police meeray peechay lagi hui hai.
  And the number one statement is .....
  1.      Mai tumharay bachhe ki maa ban-nay waali hoon.
 
  Here are the best of the rest...
  - Ghar mein do javaan betiyan hain
  - lo...muh meetha kar lo
  - mein yeh shaadi nahin hone doongi
  - aaj pinky ka janam din hai
  - yeh aap kya kah rahen hai, bhai sahib
  - Bhaiya !!!!!!!!!!
  - Ma, tum kitni achchi ho
  - Aaj mein bahut khush hoon (usually to be followed by a tragic turn of
 events)
  - arre isse to tez bukhar hai
  - Nikal jaa mere ghar say...
  - Hatoe naa, log kiya kahengay
  - khabardaar joe mujhay haat bhee lagaya and the best:
  -  tumne apni ma ka dudh piya hai to ...
  - jug jug jiyo beti/beta
  -  gurkha, ise dhakke maarke bahar nikal do.
  - Maine tumhe paal pos kar bada kiya..
  -  Ab tumari maa hamare kabze main hai
  -  Pulis ko tum jaise naujawanon par naaz hai
  -  Driver, gaadi roko
  -  Tum jaise gandi naali ke keede....
  -  Ek baar mujhe maa keh kar pukaro beta"
  -  aur ye bechari begunnah hai. That's all, your honor
  -  tazeerat-e-hind , dafa 302 ke tahat, mulzim ko maut ki saza sunai 
jaati hai.
  -  Mulzim ko Baa izzat bari kiya jata hai
  -  Ab hum kisi ko muh dikhane ke layak nahin rahe
  -  (hero/heroine opening their eyes on a hospital bed)
     Main kahan hun?
  -  Kya isi din ke liye tujhe paida kiya tha?
  -  "Maa main first class first pass ho gaya hu"
     followed by the jug jug jiyo beta
  -  "Yeh sauda thumhe bahut mehenga padega" ??
  -  Bhagwan, maine aaj tak tumse kuch nahin manga, aaj pahli baar kuch 
maang........
  -  KANOON KE HAATH BAHUT LUMBE HOTE HAIN
  -  Aey jee!  Aap bade woh haiN!
 
 
   Top 10 Rules of film-making in Bollywood:
    
    1) Two brothers separated in childhood will always grow up on
       different sides of the law. The law-breaker, however, will
       suddenly turn over a new leaf before the end, bash up the
       villain (who is the *real* bad guy), and be pardoned for all
       his sins before the last-scene family reunion. (This is 
       possible only if he has a heroine - see rule 2 below).
    
    2) If the number of heroes is not equal to the number of heroines,
       the excess heroes/heroines will a) die b) join the Red Cross 
       and take off to Switzerland before the end of the movie. 
  
    3) If there are 2 heroes in a movie, they will fight each other
       savegely for at least 5 minutes (10 if they are brothers).
    
    4) Any court scene will have the dialogue "Objection milord". If 
       it is said by the hero, or his lawyer, it will be sustained.
       Else, it will be overruled.
    
    5) The hero's sister will usually marry the hero's best friend
       (i.e. the second hero). Else, she will be raped by the villain
       within the 1st 30 minutes, and commit suicide.
    
    6) In a chase, the hero will *always* overtake the villain, 
       even on a bullock-cart, or on foot. 
    
    7) When the hero fires at the villain(s), he will never a) miss
       b) run out of bullets. When the villain fires at the hero, he
       will always miss (unless the hero is required to die, as in
       rule 2).
    
    8) Any fight sequence shall take place in the vicinity of a 
       stack of a) pots b) barrels c) glass bottles, which will
       be smashed to pieces.
    
    9) Any movie involving lost+found brothers will have a song
       sung by a) the brothers b) their blind mother (but of course,
       she has to be blind in order to regain her sight in the climax)
       c) the family dog/cat. The amazing thing is that these folks
       remember the song after 20 years in the movie, and you can't
       remember it 2 minutes after coming out of the theatre.
    
  10) Police inspectors (when not played by the hero) come in two 
        categories: 
            a) Scrupulously honest, probably the hero's father - killed 
               by the villain before the titles. 
            b) Honest, but always chasing the anti-hero (as in Rule 1), 
               saying "Tum kanoon se bach nahin sakte", only to pat him 
               in the back in reel 23. Usually, this inspector's daughter 
               is in love with the anti-hero.
            c) The corrupt inspector, (usually the *real* villain's 
               sidekick) unceremoniously knocked about by the hero(s)
               in the climax.
 

Co-author: Rajiv Pant (Betul)   betul@rajiv.org   http://rajiv.org/

This joke is copyrighted by the co-author and is printed with his permission