THE MED SCHOOL NERD SCALE The following scale has been developed in close cooperation with the UVA psychiatry services (Well at least I was thinking of some of their characteristics and used some of their class time to compose it). It is designed to test if you have spent too much time in medical school and whether you are having adverse side effects due to prolonged exposure. Score one point for each statement that applies to you. 1 You have ever said "Netter is god". 2 You can discuss autopsy/ anatomy over a meal 3 You own a 4 color pen 4 -it just isn't enough colors for you 5 You use more than one color to take notes 6 You have use up more than 6 highlighters in the past 6 months 7 you have ever highlighted something YOU wrote 8 you retype handouts given in class 9 you haven't had a date in 3 months 10 you haven't had a date since entering med school 11 you have not been able to remember the normal term for something because you were thinking of the medical term (ie reflux for heartburn) 12 You get more sleep in lecture than at home 13 You know the correct spelling for pruritus 14 - you also know what it means 15 You have ever asked a question in class 16 - The prof. didn't understand the question 17 - you didn't believe the answer the prof. gave 18 - you went to look it up to see if they were right 19 You can't hold a conversation on anything other than med school 20 You skip class to study 21 You've said you didn't do well on a test on which you beat the mean 22 You spend more than 15 hrs a week on e-mail 23 You have a callous on you finger from writing 24 More than one professor knows you by name 25 When you ask a question, a new professor has said "Oh, I've heard of you" 26 You can name more amino acids than past presidents 27 You use more than 5 acronyms an hour when talking 28 you actually know what PERRLA stands for 29 You know all the steps of the TCA cycle 30 You do not read PTA as parent teachers association 31 You can remember the muscles in the forearm 32 You know the strucures in the urea cycle 33 You know the dermatome distribution 34 You can't remember what you had for breakfast 35 You can't spell world, much less backwards 36 You've ever been sexually aroused by the breast shadow on an X ray 37 You equate "morning stiffness" with Rhematoid Artheritis 38 You actually know normal values for plasma Na 39 -K 40 Missing class causes you extreme stress 41 You have seriously asked someone "So how does that make you feel?" 42 You have asked will this be on the exam 43 -Just after the prof. said it wouldn't 44 You identify with Deb on E.R. 45 You have made a medical joke 46 -no one laughed 47 -You figure they just weren't that far in their studying 48 You wear your stethescope around your neck on the bus 49 - you don't even know which way the thing goes in your ears 50 "SOB" means short of breath to you 51 You have gone to student health with suspicion of a disease you have studied 52 -within 3 days of the lecture 53 You have answered a question in class 54 -asked by the professor 55 -it was a rhetorical question 56 You can quote lines from the movie "Malice" 57 -you believe them 58 You can flip your pen over your thumb 59 - with both hands 60 - you do so throughout class 61 You have corrected a professor in class 62 -the rest of the class didn't understand the lecture to begin with 63 You know how to claculate specificity 64 -positive predictive value 65 - anion gap 66 -you can't balance your checkbook 67 You don't know what the weather was like for the past week 68 You don't know what the weather is like right now 69 You actually talk in open ended questions 70 DIC isn't a slang term for the penis in your book 71 You think B- is a bad grade 72 you have stressed about a pass/fail class 73 You study during most of your meals 74 You saw nothing abnormal about the Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder 75 You draw all of the slides not already provided in the handouts 76 -including the cartoons (humourous type) 77 Anatomy makes you hungry 78 You would even consider saying "Ease back on my finger at your own pace" 79 You know the size of a RBC 80 - you don't know the size of a football field 81 Your eyesight has worsened by 10 pts or more in the last year 82 You have the library hours memorized 83 Hou have your own seat in the library 84 You score more than 95 on the Epidemiology final 85 You own more than one white coat 86 You have debated between giving up sleep or eating in order to find more time to study 87 You started studying for boards more than 2 months in advance 88 You have never received a personal invitation to discuss your grades with the dean 89 A tie is the only addition necessary to what you normally wear when you go to see patients 90 You wear scrubs to tests 91 You have made plans to study on a beach during vacation 92 - you actually did 93 You have a designated seat in lecture 94 - You have ever asked someone to move from "your seat" 95 You sleep less than 4 hrs a night 96 -you think that is plenty 97 -you have thought about cutting back 98 You study more than 35 hrs outsid of class 99 -you think you are a slackard 100 You think everyone answers yes to most of these questions Scale <20 - You're not in Med school. Go back to your party and leave us alone. We have work to do. 20-35 Either Med school is a breeze or you like the sound of "Senor doctor" 35-45 Gotta love that Primary Care 45-60 Well, I never really thought about MD/Phd, but now that you mention it... 60-75 Your social life is shot, might as well try to earn lots of money 75-90 Which surgery subspecialty did you say you liked? 90 All hail, great Med School Nerd master.