Go ahead and mention my child, the one that died, you know.
Don't worry about hurting me further, the depth of my pain doesn't show.
Don't worry about making me cry, I'm already crying inside.
Help me to heal by releasing the tears that I'm trying to hide.
I'm hurt when you just keep silent, pretending she didn't exist.
I'd rather you'd mention my child, knowing that she has been missed.
You asked me how I'm doing, I say "pretty good" or "fine",
but healing is something on-going, I feel like it will take a lifetime.
The mention of my child's name
"The mention of my child's name
May bring tears to my eyes,
But it never fails to bring
Music to my ears.
If you are really my friend,
Let me hear the beautiful music of her name.
It soothes my broken heart
And sings to my soul."
Please, don't ask me
Author: Rita Moran
Please, don't ask me if I'm over it yet
I'll never be over it
Please, don't tell me she's in a better place
She isn't with me
Please, don't say at least she isn't suffering
I haven't come to terms with why she had to suffer at all
Please, don't tell me you know how I feel
Unless you have lost a child
Please, don't ask me if I feel better
Bereavement isn't a condition that clears up
Please, don't tell me at least you had her for so many years
What year would you choose for your child to die?
Please, don't tell me God never gives us more than we can bear
Please, just tell me you are sorry
Please, just say you remember my child, if you do
Please, just let me talk about my child
Please, mention my child's name
Please, just let me cry.
Death is nothing at all.
I have only slipped away into the next room.
I am I, and you are you.
Whatever we were to each other, that we still are.
Call me by my old familiar name,
speak to me in the easy way which you always used.
Put no difference in your tone,
with no forced air of solemnity or sorrow.
Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes we enjoyed together.
Play, smile, think of me, pray for me.
Let my name be ever the household word that it always was,
let it be spoken without effort, without the trace of a shadow on it.
Life means all that it ever meant.
It is the same as it ever was; there is unbroken continuity.
Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight?
How to help
created by Ruti Volk
last updated 2-3-99