Dr. Eileen Mollen, Shelly’s therapist, Chief of Pediatric Psychology,
University of Michigan Health System
I feel very honored be able to speak about Shelly today. I got to know
Shelly as her therapist, and feel very much like I ended up a friend to her
and to the family. Trying to help her traverse the journey of her illness.
But in all honesty, she usually led the way and seemed very wise beyond her
years. From the day I met Shelly, I had to remind myself constantly that she
was only 7 years old. I think of Shelly as an extremely bright, artistic
child, who had a clear sense of who she was and what she wanted to
accomplish, much like the Volks.
Her most striking personal characteristic for me -- one that I’ll always
remember -- was her wonderful belly laugh. Even when she was unable to
speak, she still communicated with her eyes and that irrepressible sense of
humor. On a visit to the hospital in October she and I discovered that we
shared a mutual obsession for chocolate. So that day, we were able to share
some of the delicious Israeli chocolates that her Grandmother had brought and
we fantasized about living in Hershey, Pennsylvania, and I heard her belly
laugh that day.
The demands of her illness brought out Shelly’s remarkable strength and
tenacity. I was often struck by Shelly’s ability to size up just what she
could and couldn’t do and decide how she was going to handle it. And she
clearly got the strength from her parents. For example, early in September
she was having some difficulty walking but refused a wheelchair. I was very
concerned that it was going to be a struggle for her to accept using a
wheelchair when it did become necessary. However the next week, as her
physical condition had deteriorated, she was very matter of fact as she
recognized her limitations. She quietly and with great dignity requested a
wheelchair. And so much like Shelly, she immediately placed her energies in
more productive areas, like the communication that was so important to her.
Shelly never gave up through her entire illness, even with her difficulties
communicating, she found ways to let us know how she looked forward to the
future. She always looked to what she wanted to accomplish and dwelt
surpassingly little on what she couldn’t do. She certainly has taught me a
lot about perspective and just where we should focus our energies to make the
most of everything.
Shelly is a child who has truly toughed my heart and leaves a very special
viewpoint. One day we were in a session together and
we discussed her feelings about having a brain tumor. She stated that part
of her was very angry at the tumor. And being the good therapist, of course,
I encouraged her to explore this a little more. She then said something that
touched me more than anything a child could say to me. Her very very
poignant response to me was and I quote “But I’m not too angry that I have a
brain tumor, because if I didn’t, I wouldn’t have met you.”
Then as now, she moves me to tears. I can at least say that Shelly will live
on in my heart and the hearts of so very many people that she uniquely
touched.
Audio file of this eulogy
