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| CANADA'S SOURCE FOR HUMOUR, PARODY, AND SATIRE
SNOWY MANITOBA-- It's Late August in the Great White North, a cold, brisk time when preparation must begin for the onset of Winter. Patio furniture is stored away in the garage, warm woollen sweaters are retrieved from the attic, and rollerbladers mount rugged winter tires to their inline skates.
It's not easy for these all-terrain skaters who brave the elements on their four-wheeled sport boots. When the icy grip of Winter starts to take hold (usually around Labour Day), the surface conditions become precarious, as slick and slippery as a polished curling rink. The winter rollerblader must take every precaution to ensure his traction is not compromised by the unforgiving winter elements. Snow and ice can be tricky to skate on, but with proper studs or chains, tenacious inline skaters can enjoy a relatively safe skate on the frozen Canadian roads and highways. All-season roller radials are one option that many will choose. But be cautious and understand that unless these tiny steel-belted wheels are properly maintained, and rotated every 2,000-3,000 kilometres, the rollerblader runs the risk of having less-than-adequate grip on the severe road surfaces. And unless you live in a milder Canadian region such as Vancouver, where Winter waits until nearly October before blanketing the city in white powder, it's best to select a heavy-duty rubber winter rollerblade wheel that will allow maximum protection against snow and ice. A winter rollerblade tire with heavy, knobby treads are your best solution.
As always, the inline skater's best personal protection will be his own safety equipment: his helmet, elbow pads, gloves, and a tiny little shovel (to dig himself out when he's stuck in a snowbank). As well, an extra pillow stuffed down the back of one's pants will always provide extra rear-end protection. But just remember: no matter how well prepared you are this season, there will always be a rollerblader who isn't. When it starts to snow, realize that many rollerbladers are from other countries, and have never skated in these conditions before. That's just the risk you'll have to take every time you lace up. As Winter progresses, streets and sidewalks will become congested with salt and slush. Only the skater who has prepared himself for the gritty and the slippery conditions will be able to navigate safely through the season. You can't expect your slick polyurethane wheels to get you over the black ice and through the packed white powder. So
don't wait til the last moment, and get those soft summer wheels
swapped for strong, sturdy winter tires capable of getting you skate
through the harsh nine-month Canadian winter season.
Archived Stories - Canadiana - Sports
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| This fictional story about rollberblading is intended for adults. | The World Leader in Canadian humour, humor, parody, and satire. | |
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