CANADA'S SOURCE FOR INTERNET HUMOUR AND SATIRE
Are you teaching your children about the dangers of the Internet? What steps are you taking to ensure your family is safe? It is important to be aware of the risks because the threat of Internet electrocution is more probable than you realize.
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What most people don't realize is that the Internet runs on electricity. Every time a web page is sent to your computer, it uses several kilobytes of power. Just as we all know not to stick a fork into an electrical outlet, the same precautions should be applied when using the Internet.
Every year, thousands of computer users are shocked when they visit unprotected websites, and that shock isn't always from the content. To reduce the risk of Internet electrocution, it's critical that you learn some basic safety measures to guarantee that your web-surfing experience is a safe one.
1. Be Properly Grounded
Nothing can protect you from the Internet better than proper grounding. Most offices have protective rubber chair mats on the floor that will insulate you from the conductive nature of the Internet. Rubber mousepads, plastic keyboard membranes, and gel-filled wrist-rests also act as insulators, protecting you from nasty electrical Internet surges. To help reduce the threat of Internet electrocution, wear rubber boots and gloves, or remove yourself from the threat by using a cordless mouse & keyboard. Another good idea is to attach a grounding wire to your wrist, just like the professionals use. Try to avoid wearing tin-foil hats if possible, although that's just what the government wants you to do.
2. Upgrade Your Equipment
You shouldn't be using a computer built before 1997, as Internet electrical standards weren't regulated in the "early days." Older machines don't have the same capacity to handle Internet data, increasing the risk of electrical shock and death. This explains why most obsolete hardware is destined for landfills instead of electrically-unstable third-world countries. Most monitors built after 1996 are "energy safe", which means that they will not amplify the deadly voltage that flows through your Internet connection. And avoid using the dangerous computer known as a "SPARC" because that's exactly what it will do.
3. Choose Proper Hardware
With the prevalence of cheap foreign computer equipment, your imported computer hardware may have been built using different electrical safety standards. Those who build their own computer systems should be careful to make that all of their components are safety-approved, and should be wary not to install cheaper uncertified hardware. A $20 Korean hard-drive may be a steal, but it probably isn't worth losing your life over. If possible, purchase hardware components that are made from non-conductive metals, or even better, composite materials. And always make sure that your power supply is capable of absorbing the dangerous high-powered electrical bandwidth that will flow through your machine. Better yet, have a power user install your hardware for you.
4. Surge Protection
Surge protection is an important precaution when using your computer. But remember, a normal surge protector only protects you against the electricity from the outlets! To properly protect against nasty Internet power spikes, you should be using an ethernet surge protector, a component which buffers you from your machine using common RJ-45 connectors. You should be able to purchase an ethernet switch or router with built-in Internet surge protection, or you may choose to build a separate server that buffers the computer surfer against data packet power surges. Whatever you choose, ensure that the Internet surge-protecting hardware is capable of withstanding online electrical currents strong enough to cause brownouts and blackouts.
5. Proper Wiring
The best away to prevent Internet electrocution is to make sure you are using the right cables. Most ethernet cables nowadays are shielded, reducing the threat of deadly electrical discharges. While CAT-5 is the national standard, try to use a higher CAT, such as 6, 7, or 8. In fact, the higher the CAT, the better. While real cats have nine lives, you only have one, and it would be sad to see you lose it by using poor quality unshielded cabling.
6. Use A Certified Internet Service Provider
Most ISP's provide their own built-in surge protection, and have the capacity to absorb most excess electrical energy. But be careful, not all providers are certified, and many run the risk of electrocuting the end user. Ask if your provider has web filtering and load balancing, because those are key safety features employed by certified ISP's. Also, avoid the so-called "free providers" as they are usually deliver the Internet as is, and are a "use at your own risk" provider.
7. Don't Host An FTP Site
File Transfer Protocol (FTP) is a dangerous and unreliable part of the Internet. Everyday we hear about FTP hosts that run illegal MP3 filesharing servers getting "zapped", so you're better off just avoiding this risky area of the Net. Peer firesharing is no safer, as the electricity will come in bursts when you try to download the latest Christina Aguilera song. Kazaa, a popular sharing program, is also the sound you'll scream when you feel 80,000 volts of Internet energy going through your fingers. "Kazaahhh!!!"
8. Avoid European Websites
In Europe most of the Internet is 220V, which is enough electricity to kill a charging yak. Because of conflicting Internet protocols, information exchange across the continents is incompatible, unreliable, and potentially dangerous. Most of the websites in Europe are written in foreign languages, so your need to visit them is probably limited. But if you must click on a European link, web sites such as Babelfish utilize servers that invert power streams to the more manageable 110V, safe for North American web surfers. However, caution is still urged whenever you choose to visit unstable French, Norwegian, or German websites, as their content is quite capable of frying you and your motherboard.
9. Use Linux
Linux is an operating system proven to be more stable than Windows or Mac OS. Linux is what you call an "open source" system, which means it acts like a lightning rod, absorbing hazardous electrical currents that flow through the Internet. While most computer users will not understand the intricacies of this operating system, they will feel much safer using it.
10. Install Monitoring Software
The key to safe surfing is to know when you're using too much power. Install programs such as ACDSee or WinAmp, utility software which will let you know when the flow of electricity to your web browser is getting to be too high. Windows also has a built-in utility that monitors your flow of electricity called Current Download.
These
are just a few electrical precautions that every computer user should
be aware of before they decide to surf the Internet. With a little bit
of preparation and a lot of common sense, your Internet experience will
be a safer one.
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