Fred Wu: Missing In Action
The Paltry Facts
Fred and I were evil opposites. Fred was on when I was off. We would
see each other at the changing of the guard.
Then one day Fred wasn't there when I arrived to start my shift. He
had started his shift as usual. I spoke to him as I was getting ready
to leave--as usual. He had been in an especially ebullient mood, even
for Fred. I remember he had been going on about finding the motherlode
this time out. He talked about striking it rich and retiring. None of
it made sense--as usual. But when I came back on after break--no
Fred.
I inquired as to his whereabouts. I was told, "Mr. Wu is no longer
with the company." Period.
Suddenly it's as if the man never existed. No further explanation.
"Mr. Wu is no longer with the company."
That phrase has taken on a deeper meaning among the rest of us. If
something has a hint of conspiracy or back-room shenanigans we say,
"Mr. Wu is no longer with the company." It's right up there in
popularity with " Open the pod bay doors, please, HAL."
The Lavish Rumors
1. The Man Never Existed In The First Place
Although
this seems ludicrous at first glance, the more time I spend in
the hypersphere the more I am willing to believe the incredible.
2. He 'Knew Too Much'
That was his job, dammit. He was the best and
the brightest of a very bright lot. If knowing too much can
cause a trained hypernaut to just disappear then aren't we all
at risk? Is knowing too much an occupational hazard?
3. He Was Working A Special Assignment And He Found What He
Was Looking For
I believe the part about the special assignment but I don't
know how this is connected to his disappearance.
4. He Found Some Dirt On The Company That Was Too Dangerous
What could possibly be that dirty. This is a company that
lists as one of the corporate goals in its annual stockholders
report 'World domination within five years.' That same annual
report lists, as corporate assets, seven countries on three
continents. School kids take tours of the corporate espionage
division. What could an outfit like this have to hide--that they've
been fluoridating the office water coolers?
5. He Became One With The Hypersphere, Made The Leap,
Exchanged His Body For...
See number 1 above.
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