Screeds and Rants:

(Use other side if necessary)

Gertrude the

I am my own best invisable friend.


I'm sorry, most of my rants are spent on live journal/xenga/myspace... but if you feel neglected, you may feel free to check them out...

An Unknown Agent

see other side

An Unknown Agent

the collective anesthetixation of our subcultures freely lends itself, with option to buy, to comparison to the aboriginal tribes of the bahamas. what really do we, as artists and drug dealers, have to offer a society already numbed by the mental juxtaposition of liberty and security? nothing is the obvious answer. kind of fishy isnt it?


i don't need no fancy pants. coffee's fine.


(i wrote it on the other side. just flip this text-box over to read it.)

An Unknown Agent

Silence is an option

Dali Dolly

I never use the 'other side' things are creepy over there, I prefer to use margins then write over what I've already written.


I cant focus i cannot figure this i think its hopeless/ medicine man fill my prescription gimme a stronger dosage/ i went to the reverend's spot, he talked to me bout God/ but the praying did not stop something from makin me feel odd/ A black heart, that gets off, on smellin corpses rot/ aint enough room in my backyard for another burial plot/ love doom, im keepin candles lit black voodoo in my bedroom/i tape record the face of death feelings of evil got me consumed/ Satan sings a lullabye in my ear, every night/ of eternal suffer & sin, and a muthafuckin fright it goes/ kiezer sose' bring the souls/ bring me babies and women and animals/ my victory over the almighty is very vital/ cuttin incisions in they forheads, and burning Bibles/ and im snappin, and body snatchin/ Demon reaction/ See the 7th sign, on judgement day i wonder whats gon' happen/


Try damn magic beans.

dannyboy GOGO

when you reach the top stay there ,it's beter on top

Jacques Collin

my father went up a mountain and never came down. i walked circles around the mountain until the mountain was a hole. i walked circles around the mountain untill the mountain fell through the earth. it is easier to climb a waterfall than read Patterson from end to beginning. (otherside) this world is an exit nearly imperceptible or this world is many sensual entrances. soon i will leave you - mounting an allosaurus, i will challenge the devil a test of arms - and not return... the sky has grown dark in her eyes


No S**t Sherlock Who Gives A Flyin F**k


and one stumbles here and there, trips and falls, the pain of getting up, each and every motion so natural yet so nostalgic of the past immortality we experienced alone, together.

An Unknown Agent

silence that slaughters without mercy and addictive as junk

An Unknown Agent



I feel somewhat obligated to type something here. I wonder if this is one of those websites that has actually been down for a long time now, but the internet has not noticed it missing yet, so hapless individuals contact the site host and never get feedback. These come away with a feeling that "those website people must have thought I was annoying," or "a poseur," or worse. Just forget it.


1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 1 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 1 2 4 5 6 7 8 9 1 2 3 5 6 7 8 9 1 2 3 4 6 7 8 9 1 2 3 4 5 7 8 9 1 2 3 4 5 6 8 9 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 9 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8

An Unknown Agent

we care because we die, if our life had no end we wouldn't care about others or us. We're mining the hell out of us to give some life advice to the yougner one. it is also because we are scared to die that we're trying to leave a part of ourself on the earth in any form possible. The thought of us being still here when we are no more must be reassuring.


Cheerleading is a sport. no matter how you look at it it is. You practice, condition, and compete; just like any other sport. so why question the FACT?! oh, and your site is completely biased. but of course you know that.


I feel no need to rant. Why rant? What is the purpose? I know my mind, you can guess at mine. Why you want to is beyond me. Do you fear you own thoughts? Probably, but, we all do. See, society is build on fear. Proved earlier Paranoia thought correct. Yay, must do a little dance. Shit, i've rambled when I said I wouldn't! We'll a random thought then, I suppose I can permit you one of those. Have you seen the Marvellous Breadfish? If not, see them. Go to my band's site I don't know why I want you to, I just feel obliged to make conversation, even if it is to myself. Anyway, must dash, well, not really, I'll stay here, what I meant was, i've typed enough and I fear i'm straying into the incoherent etc.


thank you for giving me a five minute illusion that something, anything, anywhere, for just five minutes had ANY quality, content, intellect, humor, realism, and or jolly good funs.


today i went through my family safe (im at home for the holidays) and found a letter from my grandmother to my father written for the event of her death. she described herself as only entering the next room of the same house, a concept i used in a short story i wrote about her last year, almost word for word.


i don't know what's all of this about...i don't think i wanna know..but certainly i did smth life


uh, Hail ERIS! All Hail DISCORDIA!! and all that death-jazz


I think i'll go to dinner now.

An Unknown Agent

Isn't it nice. Sugar and Spice. Luring disco dollies to a life of vice.

Red is Dead

Until society gets rid of its Christian traditions and buries them, utopia will always be one where nobody human can enter.

An Unknown Agent

Ha, so here is the deal with chromosomal triages. Thanks

An Unknown Agent

i hate this fucken crazy world of low life drug addicts.


fuck you, asshole


he played the game of fisticuffs he played the game of might but no one knew the men who came and took his life that night


Jammmti backwords

Eliphas Levi

Child of morning Rosy fingered dawn Fly forward In this course of time remind me of mine journey Complete Return to me And taste the gleam of gold & amber And to my ears repeat Drop the anchor and find The subtle grind Release me mine mind in infinite splendour and render it thine For the time has come It has begun This watercolor world Vision stained It has been named Now as before I have crept beyond the door Between the cracks And beneath the golden shore The Breadth of heaven Glimmering with coated resin Mine spirit a floating peasant A resounding whispering sound Hear it not The vibrations all around Manifest in thought For this is the time This is the vine Watch it produce The tasteless fruit That rotts within the Caverns of distant rhymes Leave me now And take this sacred chao But leave me not alone I will call again And when I do You'll grant me two And Return to your power throne

An Unknown Agent

It's the quality of vegetables that I worry about - all that plastic packaging. Never a sprout out of an imprisonment net; never a tomato can roll free. All my eggs are in packets of six, and bananas in packets of three.

An Unknown Agent


An Unknown Agent

All we know to be true started as a lie, so by lying to others we are just establishing fundamental facts for future generations

Marcus Versus

Certain people do not say things. Bankers can afford to be right. The poor get used to being left. To laugh at this horizontalism, is to enjoin the river.


the revolution is over -

Annie Debauch

perforated monkey lips, leathery bat tits and buffoonery of other wisdoms

An Unknown Agent

gary call betti

Kevin Harvey

I am one of the three greatest playwrights alive and I'm keeping the names of the other two secret.

An Unknown Agent

gary call betti

Frater Euphigmius J. Maligny

A symbol has no discreet & implicit meaning in and of itself, it is imbued and brought to life through the meaning inferred upon it - I am a symbol -

An Unknown Agent

Can anybody out there provide me with contacts for learning how to become a professional bank robber?


You all know I'm right.

An Unknown Agent

Just who was the prophetic but untalented "singer / artist" who recorded: "I always feeeel like..... somebody's watchin me!! (Oh can't you see?)?


do flightless hummingbirds hum with their mouths? er.beaks


Whenever I close my eyes, I see an eye staring at me from my eyelid. It changes shape sometimes but always gives me the same furtitive glance. It watches me. I glare at it from inside of my skull. It does not work. Help?


Whenever I close my eyes, I see an eye staring at me from my eyelid. It changes shape sometimes but always gives me the same furtitive glance. It watches me. I glare at it from inside of my skull. It does not work. Help?


is this real life is is this just fantasy..........

Red the orange

Want some? You can have mine... It'll be edible if you scrape the mold off it.

An Unknown Agent

in sightless, heedless nights random images flash by my window. fathers are cackling trees in the wind, mothers are dead at sea.


in sightless, heedless nights random images flash by my window. fathers are cackling trees in the wind, mothers are dead at sea.

An Unknown Agent

Dr. Artuad sends greetings. Too bad the questions (multiple choice) don't allow more options, but hey, we control the vertical and you control the horizontal.

You'd really not care


Desmond Wolf

To be a BH or not

An Unknown Agent

Behold me – I am a line Bouncing off the stone towers of Cambridge. When I came back I was breathless And much of the battle was saved. Driven by commendable pride Victory was crafted and I ceased to be passions puppet By gaining control over the demands. When I came back I was breathless And much of the battle was saved. Behold me – I am a line Bouncing off the stone towers of Cambridge Driven by commendable pride Victory was crafted and I ceased to be passions puppet By gaining control over the demands Driven by commendable pride Victory was crafted and I ceased to be passions puppet By gaining control over the demands. When I came back I was breathless And much of the battle was saved. Behold me – I am a line Bouncing off the stone towers of Cambridge


what exactly is implying your question, comment and affirmation...this all consist in an moribund dialog, which I see as violence by insinuation...this is helpful to form at least tow axioms for an algebra of thought..--attraction of the void by the periphery, anti-density, anti-gravity...--the reversal of effects and causes, the precession of effects over causes, of the ends over the origin. Predestination. Metalepsis...


J'adore le Francais. Due to the annoying nature of your webpage, I'm going to insert returns as if what I write was really contained within this box. Right now I'm listening to a mix CD that a friend gave me. I can't seem to find the song I'm looking for -- "Smells Like Teen Spirit" by Nirvana. There is a cat shut in this room with me... I know not why. There is also a snake, but the snake has an aquarium in which it stays. You know what annoys me? The fact that I can't update my blog from my friend's house. It thinks I'm trying to log in as her and naturally my password doesn't work. It's really annoying, seeing as I try hard on my blog. Life's so embarrassing. And it smells bad, too.

An Unknown Agent


An Unknown Agent

it would be so great to be able to write this survey on a sheet of paper. turkey lizard dance. have a good last few days of the year.

An Unknown Agent

How do you turn this @#$%%# thing over?

mask smith

my skull's skid marks gave me away again and once again i've got some explaining to do

doggman ta'boo

never, ever let the bastards in your house or car, they eat all the snack food. jack ker-0-rat lives in my head, he's not pissed but not amused either. a dangerous place to be so give me lots of room.


I already used the other side...

jackal riot



The award for the world's craftiest cheater could never be accurately presented to them.

Kristin K.

looks for an hour for "other side"

Osiris the White


An Unknown Agent

I all tuckred oot.

Mengaris Frustica

Weech weech, 'kati beri bimba' bilo steef roosentraf. weech, weech!

Chad Robb

It is unlikely that the human brain could ever have been designed by an engineer. Almost all the excellence of the human brain arise from its engineering defects. Engineers seek precision. It is the blurry nature of the brain that is so powerful and gives rise to concepts. Imagine a camera that took only blurry pictures. We would send it back to the engineers to make it more precise. Biological origination is very different. The blurriness is a great advantage. The mind is like a gun that can be focused and fired, it is like a radio that can be tuned, it is like a universe in it's capacity to store content and generate new formations. If you and your family talk about the good people who are involved in your lives, you bless them by sending them love. If you tell awful stories (even true ones) with hate in your words, you are attacking them with poisoned arrows. These are weak hexes. Most people don't know how to send real evil eye type bad juju. Fortunately.

An Unknown Agent

i wish to ramble and wander on tangents but i am far to bored with your site and will soon proceed to exit from its premisis

An Unknown Agent

the bladder design needs improvement to make it imperious to cat walks across the floral field of abdomens while people are still having sex and Leonard C ohen isn't/

lick the knife



DON'T YOU KNOW WHO I AM!(high pitched squeal,rapid pacing for half a minute,then feverish collapse onto couch and flick channels.) oh they will.all of them.


It is time to take control of our own destiny. And I don't just mean evolution, but that'll do for starters.

An Unknown Agent

why bother.....


If you cant type whatever is really in your soul and nothing else seems to express what it is that you exactly want to say. No matter how you cant find the words and the most irritating thing is that there are words. And so instead you type into this computer generated form unknowing as to who or what will read it and the thing that scares you most is that maybe no one ever will. And maybe you should save it because what happens when your thoughts get lost in cyber space?


Well...all I can say is that I'm just amazed at how lazy hot tubs can be.


whats a rant. nothing is random. randomness might seem a reality to a person that is percieving randomness in another. but the one that seems to be random is not since that persons mind is working in the very way he/she wants it to. if he/she didnt want it to work that way, he/she would change mind. see. i never give up, i just change my mind frequently. now i've changed my mind about explaining the randomlessness of randomocity.

The bigger "e"

I abhor the creed of systematics, and the implication of the meme into myself, I am the ultimate problem-creating solution. Tell me, if the sun shines brighter than the lights, then why are they lit?

An Unknown Agent

46 84 70 47 54 86 74 98 92 22 30 27 74 30 91 66 85 12 60 71 18 48 59 78 100 90 87 14 100 52 59 10 76 12 69 38 49 97 31 90 34 11 91 31 97 97 70 16 51 15 94 93 38 53 65 29 93 nothing more random than random.

An Unknown Agent

life is meaningless

An Unknown Agent


An Unknown Agent



i'm late, i'm late, i'm late, for a very boreing date. good-bye and other such pleasentries.


i don't understand the statement.

An Unknown Agent

Life is an uncertainty,predilection a necessity, if we are to keep our sanity, anything less is self-absorbed vanity.- Seek absolution, avoid air pollution, ponder evolution. Avoid dissolution,dissipation,debating; it can be negating. Never hog public toilets, others may be waiting..


I'm out of breath.


touch feel taste breathe

preston the super phro

My penis is bigger than the penis of the average woman, but i'd still like to point out that my libido is growing. has anyone seen the music i was listening to? it seems to have gone nutty batty wonky wrong. sigh.

A Glass Onion


Nino Toro

Lunch time is the best time for a fun time riddle. Dinner is a bore. Novelty is a prune. I am a breakfasteringer. Stillbirth martyr. alwait... faggot about it. ---Robert Dinnero

Oprah Einstein Less

Lunch time is the best time for a fun time riddle. Dinner is a bore. Novelty is a prune. I am a breakfasteringer. Stillbirth martyr. alwait... faggot about it. ---Robert Dinnero

An Unknown Agent

i'm actually not that smart.

An Unknown Agent

I never know what to write when I'm asked for this kind of stuff.Do u guys expect me to describe briefly my life-philosophy,assuming that we all do that when given the chance to say whatever's on our kind?why don't u just ask it,then?Ok,I think we're all hopeless and that life isn't worth living.Why am I still alive?Well,there is somebody that needs me desperately right now,and when that person will move on and learn to live without me,I'll kill myself.In the mean time,I live for art and knowledge,and for that person.

Gij Gothlow

Not interested - like you deserve it.

An Unknown Agent

not quite but almost there


No need to increase the noise.

John the Hat

I believe the constitution was created to form alliances to govern one tru fact of heritage on the basis of which I am not at liberty to say even if I say it in a form of a question. While you do indeed form a state of mind in avast intruigiing taste of purified jelly pie, on the train the prisoner will not get a shot at finally serving his first meal to the prime minister of britain(without the "great" since it isn't)which in fatality's purpose will consider the other man, or woman. Even to this day, the normal aesthetic of inpractable judgement among mungering war fools deciding whether or not to drill the face of what I use to call, gold daimonds and socially plastic

Conan the Librarian

Did you know that water draining out of a basin forms a vortex spiralling one way in the Northern Hemisphere and the other way in the South ? Now what dip stick noticed that and why ? and who takes their bath tub away on holiday with them ?


People are being sorted and placed into their personal living spaces, seperate from society, seeing only thier close friends and relatives and coworkers, tend not to experience the sensation of the world going on around them, and seek refuge in material possesions and antidepressants or intoxicants like they are taught by advertisements. Im sorry people, that must suck, dont it?

Noah Harvey

What if I dont want to, huh?

Prince Eric

uhm yeah

lily jean

ferrets rock my boots and 4 orgasms a night are a minimum.

An Unknown Agent

(Use other side if necessary or else it won't.)


in the begining was the word, and in the end is the you know what time it is?(Use other side if necessary.)

An Unknown Agent

build your own mythos.

Jim Morrison

I can put it together, I can take it apart. Finally I am nothing, and that's a really good start.

Gaynor Evelyn Sweeney

Does this go into a prize draw? And so, what have I won?

An Unknown Agent

one planet all equal


Feel the Vibration!

An Unknown Agent

I first thought of suicide in the 1950s now its to late

melting slowly

What's up with those crazy doctor people and their crazy diagnoses? Diagnosis? How do you spell a plural diagnosis? Words are wierd, aren't they? I like words. Especially susurration. And aberration. And lobotomy is pretty cool too. And if you say happy over and over again it stops sounding like a word with meaning, and starts sounding like a random collection of syllables. Which might be closer to the truth. Me does the same too. Me happy. Hey, you know, I scrolled all the way down your stupid list to read the one that was so long, and guess what? It was all copy-and-pasted 'are you trying to snooker me?' that some loser put up there. Loser. Losers like that grow up to become doctors. Hey, you know, poetry is a dying art. It's not about writing something pretty about love. That's been done far too many times. It's pointless. The first poem about love was the only decent one, and its been lost, so forget it. Hate neither. What you gotta do is say something new. There's nothing new left to say in this world, so you gotta make a new world and say it there, and say it carefully, because in new universes everything you say is final. You gotta craft it and pour in your blood and your heart and your soul, you gotta give your life to your fledging universe and then watch it die, because you have to feel hurt to write and nothing hurts quite as much as that. Then you gotta rip up everything you've done, because it's crap, and try again, and repeat, over and over until you've got no blood left to spill. And then you start. and that's poetry. But nobody writes poetry anymore. I don't write poetry, never have. It's been a long time since anybody's written any poetry at all. And hey, photography killed realism, so at some point they're going to come up with something to kill poetry, too. And then we'll all die. Would you like to be a vegetable? Well, I meant like in a coma -- I wouldn't -- but I guess that works too. If I were a vegetable, I think I'd like to be a carrot. Wow that was phallic. I may be female, but Freud was wrong. I just like the orange color. No, really, I would like to be rutabaga cuz it's got a cool name. Or maybe I'd just like to be something poisonous. No, probably not. I'm gonna run off and join the army. Not really. The army should die. Wait, it does. That was stupid. The army should have all it's funds cut. Ninety percent, I'll be generous. Hey, are you ready for this? Pig. Yeah. You know you liked that.


it is almost christmas and I am making pillows. pillows are great bc everyone thinks they need them. kind of like men... and food.

pixie christ

all the flavor, not the quality. however the morning eats at me to fuck the dead, my rogue band of eunichs that smell my cocaine blood.


Not enough room in here, Skippy, old chum>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

hugh knox

revenge is an aesthetic principle

An Unknown Agent

In mud eels are. In clay none are. In pine sap is. In oak none is.

An Unknown Agent

What the hell do you think I've been doing oh ok- "tggr cat hartfgriz A qbgyu, dasdgf sokeee os Artuad gogfghc f drkjk" (now who can argue with that)

An Unknown Agent

why is it that every time you take a shit you have to wipe. i say, America stand up throw off your toilet tissue chains! we will rise!

ego squid

ask not what your brain can do for you, but what you can do for your brain.


Ah no no no! You gotta Dance if you want the good stuff. well... DANCE!

a plauge upon both of your houses.

Who are thee to question that which is not of your realm? Who are to have the audacity to face that which cannot settle with one name? I answer purely: Those who are of slightly better than average intelligence.


i wish i could say it's gonna be fine, you know it i know it we all know it, after a bit of major hassle and lots of suffering i'm certain we're gonna be fine, life and love will prevail. what a load of rubbish, what is your excuse?


There is no other side.


Nice site.

Miopic(I have oil wells)

There are no random screeds. All screeds have purpose and are in the pattern. No screed is unnecessary. Every screed is a note in the cutNpaste symphony of the big paranoiac in the sky. We are screed, we are ranted. And if we all pro-screeate together we can be ...i forget the last part, it's the most important part of the message.


capitalism is bringing us down by it nature of putting money above everything

arrogantly me

I once went outside and it was raining,and tried to light a ciggy,while in the rain but thet stupid thing would not light,till I figured out that I had to shield the match from the water,as water seems to have a dampening effect on a lit match.......and then,this one time............?at band camp..........?

name?why?who wants2 know?why so many questions?who cares?dammit,ANSWER ME!!!

{I will use what ever side I feel like using,thank you very much,DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO...I once saw a chicken hawk kill a rabbit,which totally belies the animals name,dontcha think?

normal human being

There is nothing left to survive. Is that screedy enough?


iii iii iii iiiii iiiii iiiii iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii iiiiiiii iiiiii iiii iiii iiii iiii iiii iiii iiii i iiii iii iiii iiiii iiii iiiiiii iiii iiiiiiiii iiii iiiiiiiiiii iiii iiiiiiiiiiii iiii iiiiiiiiiiii iiii iiiiiiiiii iiii iiiiiiiiii iiii iiiiiiii iiii iiiiii iiii iiii iiii iiii iiii i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i


Must...think of...something....pithy... *sigh*

d. karezza

I bother because I thirst for your company and even more for the taste of the sweet red wine of your carotid artery. I would like to thank the last three thousand fair maidens to have accomodated themselves softly to my creamy tap, and you, Consuela, for your readiness to be the first. And there is Simon, the charismatic Popul Vuh of the New Art who ties ribbons around bombs and sends them hurtling towards the silken streets under skies like satin. Those are the ones to whom I am eternally thankful as I lie in the purple rooms. Manicures, pedigrees, all manner of vaunted and velvet insanity, I say, all for nothing. Nothing at all. I will be free in the morning. O you silken sons and daughters of the autumn fall of everything dear to a million discarnate paradises, I salute you all. There is nothing more to say in this serene evening under the falls, with my sincerest confession of my unbounded and explosive, nay, convulsive love. Then the new time will come a! nd all will be at peace. My thanks to the cotillions that are imagined from time immemorial. I will to to the last of the champions of time and present my words to all. Adieu, and fare thee well, all my embraced masters and mistresses. The crocodiles of Greatness await their accompaniment, and I shall not hold them up for long. Farewell.

Shaye St. John

I am an upbeat downtrodden survivor. I try not to pre-judge but am usually guilty of doing just that. George Bush needs to go and quick. Illusion of truth and suspension of disbelief are beautiful states of being.

An Unknown Agent

The only thing on the other side is a 15-pin high density connector (occupied), a standard power connector (occipied), and a digital video connector (not currently in use), plus a panel marked "not for consumer access" that I have never opened.


I like pretty things

Gary Wynn Kemper

Your killin me here!

An Unknown Agent

I fucked all of your moms, dads, dna/blood donars and drug dealers, and the president & wife in her dreams.

blah blahblah

why oh why do they do it? things could be so much nicer if they didn't. on the other hand, if they didn't it wouldn't not be. or whatever


I once had a farm in Africa.

An Unknown Agent

it is amazing how one tells things to people they never see again when they don't actually see them in the first place , but sharing that with loved ones could actually change someones spiritual tapistry

An Unknown Agent


An Unknown Agent

I'm wondering at the moment if I am the only one who's only comfort is lucid dreaming.


i choose to leave that in there...i want my max

Irwin P Hedgehog

is this a free-style rant? is its limited nature free-style or not?

dale smosny

....Continued at some future millinium.

An Unknown Agent

hey ho

An Unknown Agent




freestone that should cover everything.

static rover

Fall. Fall, fall fall FaLL. How do you want to fall. You can fall slowly. Or you can plummet. Where will you land? You sure as hell won't get to choose. Also I've conveniently removed your eyes so the truth or lack thereof will remain hidden Have a nice flight Or whatever you want to call it yes, blink your eyelids over your blackened sockets. You're gonna land where everyone else did and is going to. The truth is not your own Or mine or anybody elses If you want you can make your own lie, but...


Funny, I still feel bored.

An Unknown Agent

arugula arugula arugula


Do you have a permission slip?

Lazy ol' Me.



Bombastic interlludes compell my dictation. Believe not my ranting proclamation. Thus sayeth the prophecy.

the family poo

you're not going to get me that easily.


9999999999999999999 YYyyYyy behther beat beat beat beat beat beat red stop dream in a priori colours of war drums drums drums drums NO NO NO!

the scratch


Damn posers!!!!





I can´t say anymore.

Amena Divine

all their bases are still belong to us.

An Unknown Agent

it's bad enough that i've become aware of the lies...why do you have to rub it in? i hate you. but really, i love what you've done with the place. is that TEAL on the countertops? bold, i say. bold.

An Unknown Agent


wolf saunders

when was the last time you looked at your lama? I mean, really looked?

peace in a can

Today is a good day; for I have pants.

courtney labia

Toothaches and poverty do not go as hand in hand as Jerry Springer and his New Art. High Fashion High on the soot stained walls. Port Culis for all, the Villian , the Vicar< the victims its all piss and puddle its all for Negation-the rule #1-hanging out with Tossers is Bad for your soul--- & here now lies the JuT kids of America, being prepped to become twats w/ no sense of standards. Bring on the Champers & ale.





An Unknown Agent

love to hear from you


as soon as you're ripe you start to rot (via a poster in a west virginia mcdonalds)


me saco un moco, me limpio el ojete, escupo al alkalde, me tiro peos en el ascensor, erupto en clase, y me meo en las esquinas. However, my grand mother said:"No hay asqueroso que no sea marrano"

An Unknown Agent

this will destroy nature and were will the people go?we will be wasting a huge chunk of land and will kill what nature intended us to have?it will cause problems in the futre?the dam is already beging to crack!

An Unknown Agent

Dont go to bed right after practice whitch craft

Sleazeface McDougal

Baboons clapping plants ants and animals, girl horses divorced nuns and nurses, drama-mammas from alabama wanna hit the sack!

Juna Glow

And so it happened; the window was open again, without notice. Within all it's work everything I saw I saw from the depths of it's curtain. It left us all with a feeling of rage and confusion that no one could hold a spike to. Die with a feeling of deperation; trying to figure out what is most appropriate for a "last thought" during our human lives.

An Unknown Agent

Memory kills the moment, throws us into time. But time is not the moment of experience, it is the way we catalogue experience. Dead energy. All we have is Death. So let's hold on to it. Let's play with it. Then maybe we won't be so afraid of it. It really sucks to fear absolutely everything you are capable of knowing and feeling. So fuck it. Embrace it. Go with it. The Dark is the source of everything.

Optional O. Opt

dv wrew,.m w'eoriwq-e9irq-4=0rq3=9r4t-= 0 fd,cv rkf]4w r[qo3i r3q4 33 goddam this typewriter dflkjaqew 0r[83qr-0 943r[q3rmdl e eek eek aerelarhqew0r qer=e-\ goddam typewriter e4eere There is a tide in the affairs of men, that taken erlq 4[09ru4q09-r3 leads on to victory. eek eeqw8i4rq4320-9r3




I think we should all flush our toilets at once. Everyone in the world. All toilets on earth. At the same time. Armageddon. Toiletgeddon.

An Unknown Agent

can i have a pony?


quit trying so hard.

An Unknown Agent

dxm is good/bad!


you are not an eastsider westsider outsider intensity is BEARable insanity is silent we dont make dreams dreams are real nightmares are real, but they arent nightmares


there will be robots dancing and short-circuiting in the rain at midnight


we must all expand the periphery's of our (what is commonly known as) consciousness, if we do not, we become the cruelly ironic organisms that we have created enveloped into a viscious cycle of concieted consumerism and mass wars started by hypocrites that we vote for and pay our taxes to. by then (by now) we wont be able to get back to the primitive thought processes that made you, me, yourself, we truly ambiguous fleshy formations spinning amongst the orbs around the central brightness coambulating its self destructive mass into which the formations become not of itself in the undistiguishable nothing.

An Unknown Agent

Most of the human race needs to be eradicated and we need to begin again, maybe with a cat in charge! Only keep the humans who are truly owned by a cat!




don't put dish washing liquid in fish tanks.


i felt like drops of glass splintering with a sigh all over your rubber body bounce bounce bounce god i want to tell you everything


What's there to say???Nothing, that's right.

What is this "name" you speak of I own it not and if I did I don^Òt think I could get it in the computer.

On my arrival at the chapel of coruscating beatitude, which is located in the land of Israel, I heard the voice of my lord, my beloved locust, my amaranthine hope. The lord locust, The Most High, uttered unto me these words ^ÓI have seen thy soul and the soul of thy counter parts and yours is better and your reward shall be eternal so fear not your own death for when it comes you shall be joining me and your equals in the fields of heaven. Take head though of my words that are to come and spread them to all who will listen, desecrate not my chapel which stands before you and allow none. If it is desecrated and you have not died it its defense you shall be forever damned. My son you must not let it fall into the hands those who would worship there false god their. I give you the gift dynamite in the event of the attack you must destroy the temple so no unholy practices take place in my house. You must never partake of the peanut butter for it is of the devil and shall c! orrupt your soul. You shall remove your left ear for it is the ear through witch the devil whispers to you if you do not do this I will be forced to flood the earth in noxious waves of foamy peanut butter.^Ô And the lord spoke unto me giving me commands for many hours until it seamed I could bear no more knowledge and then my lord was gone from me. This caused me great grief so I beat my hands upon my face and on the ground. I wept for my loss. Then the lord seeing me in distress said unto me ^ÓMy son grieve not I am still with you. I shall always love you my creation. I shall forgive.^Ô

Juliette du Soleil

Pretty girls can breathe underwater. I am mad but can still think well enough. There are circles.



Your mother's only child

I curse the other side. If it dare show it's face I shall instantly destroy it. It will be putty in my toes. The one sugests this other side shall shorty feel my wrath.


fuck all that black beret coffee house bullshit. fucks


See other side

evil horse

please send me some butter and a pound of marmots, I need to feed my starving family


No other has a mind like mine


i do not understand why i fill this out but i fell better already

An Unknown Agent


nobody: alias El Gordo

Who are thou, who created this world from our worst nightmares?


Please, people, don't discount the entertainment value of your own paranoia. It can be fun. There's nothing like like living the terrifying unexpected.

An Unknown Agent

This has been the unhappiest year of my life. So why am I so happy?

Reverend Xenakaboom

Why the fuck do I bother with this shit? How can I divine a higher spiritual existance from the internet without the love and guidance of my Pope, Johnny Asia, for The First Church of Common Sense?


A novel idea is a new idea, something innovative, something else. But by now of course it is familiar. We want plot, for instance; and not just what and what and then and then but how and why and because. Also characters are very popular. A proper name gathers to itself descriptors which then seem to refer, as if to a person, to someone who exists, is presumed to exist in the metaphysical arena of the fiction. In the arena tonight there is a battle between picaresque and nouvelle roman. She attacks with diegetic narration! She parries with a change in typography! The umpire steps in to block an illegal metaphor. The avant garde fiction has taken a penalty for lapsing into realism! The crowd goes wild! If I feel physically as though the top of my head would come off then I think not that it is poetry but that I need some aspirin. Tattoos are just skin popping. We are going to begin injecting ink directly into the veins.


Life is a disease with 100% fatality.


i wish i had a cohesive world view. that way, when something important or enlightening happened, i would know, because it would radically alter my world view. without it, im cluelessly trying to create one. it's terribly hard to figure out what you believe when you don't know if you do or do not already believe something.


they can't make me


Why are there so few choices on this questionnaire? When I wanted to say that I was answering truthfully, the nearest I was allowed was a "maybe". And why are your respondents so ungrammatical?



( less that self, more than other )

(tune your AM radio to slightly off of the station untill it whistles and listen to it while you sleep)


i wrote a lot of news today.

An Unknown Agent



why doth the world report that kate doth limp? because the world is a mere figment of my pen"S deranged imagination and i am not in time to see but if i could fly which i inevitably must then i could see the flames and know that i am the creator and the creation and in my eyes reflects an inextinguishable light


Down with the Republic!


Laughing,sighing, crying, dying. Dont hold her hand, Shes going under, She'll drag you down into her slumber. Dance around them as they drown, drop, scream and frown. Serenade them slowly, calmly, surely, LAy them in their place. To die: queitly and with grace.


What's a screed? Is that a creed that's been hit by a fast moving vehicle?


People can only do thing when others don want them to... If I'm asked to write something random what am I gonna do... duh... exactly. nothing comes to mind. Now if that said "DEAR LORD DON'T WRITE ANYTHING IN THIS BOX!" I think I could go on for hours! I mean gee! It's gotta be something wrong with how everyone is raied, or maybe our nature to do exactly the oposite of what we're told... *shrug*


....Hmm...Lemme think. If I man comes to your door and says that he is conducting a survey and wants you to show him your boobs, do NOT! (I repeat) do NOT show him your boobs!This is a scam! There is no survey! He just wants to see your boobs! ...I wish I had know that earlier.

ralph the bear

you folks are weird. I appreciate that. thank you for your time. pax vobiscum.

Dr. Mantle Hood

lets fuck

Arbitrary string of Latin characters

I'm sorry, I have to urinate.

An Unknown Agent

Animate Bereavement I looked to the right, and then the left. Realized that people were all around me. I could feel the fear quickly growing in my stomach. You covered my eyes, and I thought, ^ÓWe can^Òt all eat from the same plate.^Ô We awoke in a blue room. I looked to you. You had lost your hope. I helped you frantically look for it on the floor. I started to shake hysterically, and then I looked back up and noticed that the walls and the ceiling were gone-showing a slightly cloudy sky. Now you were gone-but it didn^Òt matter. I realized that this life was a dream, and I could do what I wanted to. Life, Rape, and Death on the white plane.


self is an illusion


(Use other side if unnecessary.)

What's in a Name ....a name's not always of our choosing

type true forsaken time who sets like sun only melting in a watch so soft its 3 30 a m already


And you! The one with "Sexy Princess" ensloganed across the seat of your pants! NO ONE'S ASS IS *THAT* FIRM, NO MATTER HOW FIRM IT IS!!! Especially NOT YOURS. I NEVER want to see text move like that again!


Have you ever been accosted in the night by undead Satanic minions and dragged kicking and screaming into the dark, neverending Abyss? Well... I mean, I have, but it was more like dusk, really...

An Unknown Agent

Not much too say today (highly unusual) ???


...once someone gives you a chance to speak your mind, without fail, it goes blank.

ARP (2)

Am being persecuted by another institution, namely the flightless hummingbird site, which has wantonly refused to post my last attempt to fill in this form and so forced me into writing another. This has simply added to my paranoia, not to mention my irritation. Oh - and recycle everything.

Debbi Irene

is their any real connection with these entities: Gremlins, FBI, Russian Mafia, Mormons, AAA, Illegal drugs........


sending my message into space

An Unknown Agent

i did start life old and had the money and partying. i am now ending life as an organism.




Good heavens. The only thing (well not the only thing but the main one) that might be worth ranting about, freestyle or butterfly, just now is this: what on earth is a screed? I'm baffled (cf answer to previous question). But never mind.

An Unknown Agent

Second star on the right and straight on 'til morning.


if peter piper picked a pepper...why

Noah Freedman



lifes a bitch, and then you die. Have you ever thought life should go backwards? what if we startd off old and crippled? and then get out of retirement with a shit loads of cash work for however many years. Then when you hit around 20 start your partying! and then end your life as an orgasim!

antiputti gal

i like the cracks on the walls of my house, i like stormy nights, i live for death, i live for blood, i live for pain. But i cannot love.

Edith Bunker

Too tired for suicide.


You think you are so origional. Its vaugely irritating, but not enough that I didn't finish. Though I consider finishing a victory as well.

jack ass

Scat 2 Leave your head behind . . .

Camel L. Leopard



(Use other side if necessary.)(Use other side if necessary.)(Use other side if necessary.)(Use other side if necessary.)(Use other side if necessary.)(Use other side if necessary.)(Use other side if necessary.)(Use other side if necessary.)(Use other side if necessary.)(Use other side if necessary.)(Use other side if necessary.)(Use other side if necessary.)(Use other side if necessary.)(Use other side if necessary.)(Use other side if necessary.)

An Unknown Agent

I will keep this short because I know the voices in your head will be telling lies, but I am almost certain that a nude women will be forcing me to eat peanut butter off boiled eggs for their own evil purposes. I love you. Leave me alone.


Oh Lord, oh Lord, oh Lord, oh Lord, oh Lord, oh Lord, oh Lord, oh Lord, oh Lord, oh Lord, oh Lord, oh Lord, oh Lord, oh Lord, burn my lungs.

An Unknown Agent

Bob.Bob.Bob.Bob.Bob.Bob.Bob.Bob.Bob.Bob.Bob.Bob.Bob.Bob.Bob.Bob.Bob.Bob.Bob.Bob.Bob.Bob.Bob.Bob.Bob.Bob.Bob.Bob.Bob.Bob.Bobbing little monkey in my head.

An Unknown Agent

im 14 and im taking this survey... what is wrong with me?

An Unknown Agent

Don't Try it in Texas. Your sure to loose.


i don't have anything to say except is frida khalo a surrealist?


I have no idea what i'm doing I need to do some college work but I'm here doing this which is much more fun but isn't making any sense whatsoever. OH WELL maybe its giving me inspired ideas about something. I don't think it is though I'll just go back to thinking about whiskers now I think, you know big hairy whiskers that grow on the sdes of old mens faces, hair growing out of their noses and the like. Somebody pize me away from this computr I'm becoming a danger not only to my self but the people who have the great misfortune of being in close proximatey to me.....

Dale Smosny

I think we're done.



Sean k.

im hungry, but strangly happy...

Whats it to you?

So what if i lie and contridict my self and spell words wrong and eat the bones of the boneless chicken breast. i say, the lie is the truth, the me is not myself, and whats wrong with criative spealinng? and.... there are no bones in a boneless chicken breast. but whats it to you? your just another part of the huge mindless, yet mindfull mass of little squishy(yet hard) warm(yet cold) and non-winged creachers(creativly spelled) that scurry around trying to get their hands on as much little green peices of paper you can, and then turning right around and giving it to someone else. does any of this make sense to you? well aperantly it does to that guy we call "Bush" if that is his real name. well im off to confuse the rest od socity, so bye.... for now


*see other side* hehe. One thing that really annoys me is the inexplicable ability of some people to make the same mistakes again and again. Granted they are entitled to a few times to screw it all up. Things that piss me off: Forcing organized religion; Republican party; Radical pro-lifers that kill doctors; the beauty and fascist- er fashion industry; and people who are judgemental.


There is no consperiacy. But if there is, well, more power to them. And more power to us. We will grow, and so shall they. The Berbers were a desert people. They lived out where the cities don't live. They moved around and used chaos for music. Frenzy. Joy. Chaos. Love. Paradigmparadigmlessness. It was said: "The dog may bark, but the caravan passes by." Thank you.


No, really. I'm fine.


there is no random there is no free there is only the twilight of the silence...

sayid-set von schtiegenvundt III

An elderly woman milking manatees will admonish a peg legged bullfrog for stealing the dill pickles if the telephone pole has an escalator. Only when the moon wobbles will the Watusi discern the loudness of cobalt blue within a 50-50 solution of two parts Egyptian darkness and one part jagermeister.


And should you walk/once next to me/it would be calculated and perhaps a bit to/miss the point of my/longing to be alone And surrounded @/the same time.If/only to be justly construed/ Since I can see the decline/and you gladly revel in it/I HAVE TO be ashamed of you I'm tired of conversation/which leads mostly to death/and not so towards action In the concurrent space of/bribery for bribes' sake/I lead you to wolves But in so much as I/can see there is no/doubt as to my rightousness And in your varied experience/it is only the reality of/the unwavering day That may bring you to/cautious smiles brought/on by cautious life

An Unknown Agent

There goes mama, splashing in the water.

Arizu Teotlcoatl

Ah what to rant about? *pause* How about the fact that life would be so boooooring without pain and suffering and death etc? Nah, already did that for r.e. When it's not a good idea to tell your parents you're a werewolf? Nah been done.*strobe lighting indicates floash of inspiration* I know let me enlighten you on the not-at-all relevan theme of la Malinche(unless youre a chicana,feminist,poet, in which case accept my apologies). See Malinche, or malintzin as she was known to her "friends" got sold to some indians by her stepdad so he could rule in their aztec hometown. When the spaniards came along they used malinche's travel aquired linguistic skills to conquer the area. Now everyone blames malinche. Doesn't anyone think it's poetic unjustice?

anne o'neame

no need, thanks much

F.R. Dinglemonger

I keep a diary here. I am not allowed, though I am a good citizen and do what I am told, I keep a journal of my daily activities, I keep count of the hair balls, and sometimes my dead baby octopus winks at me and I have to record it, the day and exact time. But on this site the (journal} is considered 'art', I am afraid now. Because I keep a diary I must be unintentionally creating art. If I am caught, which most likely I will be now that I admit to it on this survey. They will most probably kill me. I just know it. I can hear then walking up to my front door now as I type. How will they do it I wonder. What evil awaits me. Should I look forward to it? Find luxury in it? Until the door comes down I sit modestly eating my mud pies and poking the hair balls freshly vomited by my flumpogus. I love my flumpogus.

Kitten Van der Klumps

lately I have been perfecting levitation, as per instruction of P.a. Mama. Sometimes the lemurs will pick fruit from the trees for me. And they are good...I don't like black vans anymore. I don't like blue chevys either. fYODOR YOU WILL SUBMIT....mAMA says so


blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah oh and blah.

Fyodor Vlokov

Ach knallige welt du seliges Abnormitatenkabinett. i was told that i am a man. machines dont make profits men do!? i was still confused on being a man? a non conformist woman told me that the mind seeks escape from classification as it matures but that a maturing culture struggles against its categories. i looked at her and put a marble in my mouth. swallow. i told myself. the more thoroughly a woman zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzis classified the more easily she is controlled. the new woman is not yet classified, perhaps not classifiable. eager to build bridges over positions seperated by an infinite abyss i started collecting popsicle sticks.

An Unknown Agent

as I write advertising is subverting dada and using it to sell, you encourage this with(Art) Passive Historical Fetishism(PHF)


i like to sniff banana. it's very encouranging to keep living. thank you.

P.A.Mama's secretary


An Unknown Agent

libertarians are the shock troops of the right

An Unknown Agent

nah, you'll have to write yur own

Adam Varo

rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rantrant rant rant rant rantrant rant rant rant rantrant rant rant rant rantrant rant rant rant rantrant rant rant rant rantrant rant rant rant rantrant rant rant rant rantrant rant rant rant rantrant rant rant rant rantrant rant rant rant rantrant rant rant rant rantrant rant rant rant rantrant rant rant rant rantrant rant rant rant rantrant rant rant rant rantrant rant rant rant rantrant rant rant rant rantrant rant rant rant rantrant rant rant rant rantrant rant rant rant rantrant rant rant rant rantrant rant rant rant rantrant rant rant rant rantrant rant rant rant rantrant rant rant rant rantrant rant rant rant rantrant rant rant rant rantrant rant rant rant rantrant rant rant rant rantrant rant rant rant rantrant rant rant rant rantrant rant rant rant rantrant rant rant rant rantrant rant rant rant rantrant rant rant rant rantrant rant rant rant rantrant rant rant rant rantrant rant rant rant rantrant rant rant rant r! an! trant rant rant rant rantrant rant rant rant rantrant rant rant rant rantrant rant rant rant rantrant rant rant rant rantrant rant rant rant rantrant rant rant rant rantrant rant rant rant rantrant rant rant rant rantrant rant rant rant rantrant rant rant rant rantrant rant rant rant rantrant rant rant rant rantrant rant rant rant rantrant rant rant rant rantrant rant rant rant rantrant rant rant rant rantrant rant rant rant rantrant rant rant rant rantrant rant rant rant rantrant rant rant rant rantrant rant rant rant rantrant rant rant rant rantrant rant rant rant rantrant rant rant rant rantrant rant rant rant rantrant rant rant rant rantrant rant rant rant rantrant rant rant rant rantrant rant rant rant rantrant rant rant rant rant


Free-Style. They love that. Apparent solution to determinism.

Ms Kitten Van der Klumps

Ted Kazinski and Dr Kavorkian please! Stop calling P.A. Mama she believes you to have been on the right track but is being bombarded by your desperate need for her insight. She feels you need more sincerity in your quest for the purpose.

Gwendolyn Von Burden

pLEASE See 'ONe thing you won't miss' for the answer to THIS

P.A. Mama

please decipher my codes and find the meanings, the message is specifically for it is..sou%78o#%idfy*kfd & do not forget to add the y, question everything, do you agree? my statement in another coded form...if you didn't get it the first time, this is the message in the form of a question...8375KJ&&%))DJs slkfj 6+43543 999 + 666***?

el mariem

CANNIBALISM In the theatre of my madness Still I Eye you crawling up the Walls of my insane mind Funambulist spider Clawing your way fighting for every inch only to Fall Back Once again drained Into the oblivion of my entrails Skin rawed By the exquisite tickling Of your nervous nimble legs Locked together We tumble and roll over to see Who will breakdown first In the theatre of my madness Still you Insist on clawing up the Walls of my sick brain My sole mentor My sole actor Product of my autodisintegrating self Doomed to roam in your bonehouse As my nerves recoil in horror from Your loving gnawing bites We eat each other up In ecstatic frenzy

An Unknown Agent

i love you

wakana whoosha gusha lovin snickercocoa class warfare slave chain whack that sword clank clank get the cocoa mother i'm going to cream in the butter leave it alone sweety it's bloody and you'll get an infection then who knows where your underpants will be as you roll in the foxglove and marigolds with dawn the light peeking into the strained stretched darkness warm choir a thousand suns loving living breathing breaking sun yellow fusion fire roast-a-rama kill for oil kill for wool kill for guns kill for money kill for allah all y'all and the other folks, well, i'm still gonna eat my rice bowl pudding starch sweet sticky warm blanket ignorant nothings howling at happenstance and irrelative petty griping about the boulder and how it fell on the electrotransjimini hendrintoxicater. zumina luna lumines! please pass the salt. <runs with cars>

An Unknown Agent

It's too bad you have some questions which don't have sufficient choices to allow honest answers. The might be a good survey otherwise.


Stop wasting your time impressing your friends. They don't even like you.


Crazy Lady With A Baby Seeks Eggland,Makes Good Sticky Toffee.

An Unknown Agent

yrassecen fi edis rehto esu


Larry Chevron, Bonafide Nose Nut Dealer. Saye River, spilling grimily onto the eroding streets. Brecciated bricolage of brazen modern pastiche and plastic idolatry strewn wildly and chaotically across and beyond the sagging sigh of the space between ancient and tall arcades. Overturned on the overgrown green and grey atrophied carpet was a linoleum typograph smashing a tumbling strip of paper jutting out from beneath it like a dignified paraph. Our bonafide hero, a bonafide nose nut dealer, stuck out a five-pronged feeler to paw and stare at the flourish of paper. Larry Chevron read with earnest intent the rapid dot-matrix electronic scrawl and interpreted it with projected lament. First he reeled then railed and finally wailed; it was a cenotaph for the long-since mysteriously absent humanity he was once a part of. Larry had wondered, gazed out of his haunted hotel suite^Òs sixth floor window with suspicion; he had waited with patience and dutiful alertness for a thud on his door, for any newspaper article with salie! ! nt facts, an explanation. He had feared that if a paper were to come it would hold the world^Òs biggest epitaph. But now a computer code readout in a worn and empty once busy street steeped in gritty water had told him what he didn^Òt want to hear. A fiscal hickory hut trussed down in uptown leaned and loomed like a spilling truckload of over-bloated Lincoln logs crystallized in an amber shard of splintered time. Larry Chevron sat solemnly inside somewhere and sought with stinging trepidation and sublime nostalgia to at long last hang up his beloved and beleaguered, not to mention now utterly useless, bonafide nose nut dealership. Larry hanged his tattered brown barometer coat, signifying like the rings in an ancient tree his oft commensurated, commercially driven youth-centered and drunken whimsy-reliant quaternate business. Then in the acronychal after-light Larry wandered and withered, wasting in the buzzing fuzz of electro-smog, haunted by the abstract random clashes and bangs of the inanimate happenstance companions dwelling in the minimalist/ruinist landscape. Amidst mundungus and plant-shrouded naughty and gaudy broken and glittering human spew, or remnants of trinkets of reminding, he danced and performed like a stick-puppet for his audience of a habit of floccinaucinihilipilification and pitiful Sisyphean empty hope goading. His preferred call: a self-fashioned metal sparking brick scraper. Larry Chevron, bonafide nose nut dealer, was the stage-light stand-in for the wandering Jew. He slipped his own nut with a pair of rusty, grime crusty pliers and spent with mad intent his last few days on a winter escape island with panoply of perverse and diverse imagined injured plaster-casted disaster survivors. Polluted waves of asbestos-like fiber optic hazes finally left the stabbed and striated lungs of Larry Chevron gaily, in a choking pool of darkened blood. The last mental projected character flicker was a human-like mutation asking whether it ought to be, or if it was a random weather formation like fractally spreading crystal propagation burned away at the chilly and chthonic dispersing dawn of a new day.


My shoes have the wrong feet in.

Chelsea FOX


An Unknown Agent

It's important sites like these exist for they show you that even with the will to understand, you can't make bread from extraindividual pain.



david pasquinelli

What is a screed?


leave me alone. please. dammit. i hate cell phones. i don't need another phone to not answer. and sinus infections. and parking lots with too many trees and grass parts in them. if i wanted to f*in park my car on a golf course i would do that. nobody plays golf in the f*in parking lot so why the hell...oh whatever. nobody cares anyway.

rudy sinclair

Hats?! I got hats Participles Flashes of Insight Shard-like triangles of thought Pushing forward like fast mountains And that little turdling smelling peachy rubetine and mellow Somehow any minute now seems like forever and the cold banal plate of my existence is a dishrag soiled and grey the air is cool and damp it is 3 o^Òclock the air is grey it is really 1:11 and the air is bright I imagine it otherwise, nonetheless

An Unknown Agent

i don't want to talk anymore


got a gumball in my toenail and a mission in my socks

An Unknown Agent

one moment your here, the one before half after it your gone! one moment your there, with THEM breathing down you neck. scanning your brain and stealing your soul. very pleasnt i must say. i cant wait for my appointment next week.


Vote Republican. Think clean thoughts. Beat your wife.


Behind every good woman is a chainsaw.

An Unknown Agent

Use other side if necessary. The grass is greener there of course.

An Unknown Agent

y+rt76= who the fuck cares, anyway, i am alte for my brain appointment.


danny dont hang up like that, i love you....

An Unknown Agent

keswol pl;w3pl 4 szteat gszy eyazyr a ryfy azry et sez

Emperor Lettuce

Once someone told me that i was special, and i therefore proceded to lick his inner thigh. It was tasty and/irreverant. Do you own a spunge.

An Unknown Agent

Other Side: Proceeding. Prototype: Christopher I just wanted to say... if everyone would just stop for just one second across the earth at the same time we could hear the machine eating our souls

An Unknown Agent

I don't have time. I have to be present at my wedding.


About the above bit. It's true that people are stupid. Tell a crowd there's a bomb in a building and all will turn to chaos, but tell a couple of well trained individuals, leaving the masses out of it, the problem might get solved. That's just the position the government takes by never telling us the truth, but it just pisses me off that they undermine our mental capacities by telling us the sugar coated lies.


i;m all done thanks. i cant wait for the confirmation message

An Unknown Agent

It appears, SEND works and not WHY BOTHER? well ...... you lost all my brillant responses and i have little interest in rewriting them, but curiosity as led my to click on SEND.

An Unknown Agent

ehh everyone is lookin at me

Generalissimo Nemo

I see it's a fair, pretty sheet of water, Our Willoughby! How did you hear of it? I expect, though, everyone's heard of it. In a book about ferns? Listen to that! You let things more like feathers regulate Your going and coming. And you like it here? I can see how you might. But I don't know! It would be different if more people came, For then there would be business. As it is, The cottages Len built, sometimes we rent them, Sometimes we don't. We've a good piece of shore That ought to be worth something, and may yet. But I don't count on it as much as Len. He looks on the bright side of everything, Including me. He thinks I'll be all right With doctoring. But it's not medicine-- Lowe is the only doctor's dared to say so-- It's rest I want--there, I have said it out-- >From cooking meals for hungry hired men And washing dishes after them--from doing Things over and over that just won't stay done. By good rights I ought not to have so much Put on me, but there seems no other way. Len says one steady pull more ought to do it. He says the best way out is always through. And I agree to that, or in so far As that I can see no way out but through-- Leastways for me--and then they'll be convinced.


stop it, i hate it when you yell inside my head.

An Unknown Agent

Love is a blind man's banquet

Mr. Aluminum Siding

Get your fork off my plate, Ramsey. I don't do that shit.


yeah, so this is life. i just wish it wasn't?

An Unknown Agent

try and relive the past yesterday so you can go on todayforerever

An Unknown Agent

yo im luke and u suck ha ha ha

cKey Headrubby

be nice, people, it keeps you from being maced. once, i knew a guy that knew a girl that threw puppies. that wasn't good at all. the innermost secret to buddhism is that enlightenment is brought by aving as much sex as you can get. the other, false dalai lamas refuse to tell the secret to the world because they are ugly and are not getting any nookie, and if they ain't gettin any, then they don't want anyone else to, either. selah.


i am rantless

An Unknown Agent

Jeezis' leaping brown bastard. greetings from your old pal farting in grandma's undies. gangrenous prostate, refundable yellow pussed-funds. vomiting it up old school on the old hair-waves. no hair balls stuck in my craw daddy yo. rancid meat tuques for sale on grungy front lawn madness. full of holes up to the head to hell they leadin the c-bot/drone/yo mamma's knickers brown with dismay. repeat transmission of yesterdays dirty fucking laundry. pussed up, cranked in yahoos lassoing small furry animals for the purpose of orifice creation and the society for the royal buggering of all things holey. holes in the carpet of my womb-room leaking creatures of unknown origin, are they indigenous to my cerebelum, their devouring all my edible undies and chocolate chastity belts. their complete wit all the trimmings, lace and girdle panty linnings, linen belts of girth-measurement and flapping folds of flab flayling in the breeze. my crotch is hot it needs airing out breezy baby bottoms, em bare assed to the world. too much confusion on the floor, gotta sweep out the attic the bats have come home to roost the skeletons have set up a speak easy in the closet and I'm not allowed in. The bouncers my own mamma. dancings indian girls waving palm fronds in tired eyes. sweat-shop labour creating linguistic devices for mass consumption in intellectually sterile nations. coming to the rescue is sweat man ever ready for the communist threat, he stands gaurd, a lone sentinel, protecting the dream of liberty, ready to throw his bundle of old sweaty jock straps at any enemy that dares run the gauntlet of world leadership <emphasis>



An Unknown Agent

i'm tired

Kent Kemmish

Purpose of peace in the valley. Lol. Wolf will be tamed. Jesus was right! Stop FGM and CBS! Eat grits. I am a creature, oh yeah. Nader lebanese. Moon unites.


Their's no jesus like show jesus!

daemon protocol

Fuck you, tactless luddites! (Not directed at Flightless Hummingbird, but people I know/knew/will know)You shits, you slags! You can't fuck with me! I'm way above you're fucking heads! I might be half your age, and a product of the American public school system, by you've still got nothing on me! You made it so I can't live! Now I'll strike back at you bastards! I've found all the loopholes, I've found all the exploits in the machine of your society! I live off of your mistakes, I feed off of your carelessness! I use more than my fare share of exclamation points!!! Watch me abuse the privelege of having an exclamation point!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SHAMELESS ABUSE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!RECTIFY!!!!!!!!!!!!! No more nothing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!! THE CONCEPT OF SATIRE ELUDES YOU !!!!!!!!!!!! ?????!!?????CAN YOU TELL IF I'M JOKING!?!???!!????????! Blargh! Dear monsters: Please forgive any spelling and/or grammatical errors on my part. I am only eighteen years of age, and a product of the public school system to boot. :( Aargh.


keep it up,45~ 33.5 90.. but up is good

Neq The Sword

Life passes like the tomato plant.. Seed to ripe till shrivell then seed.. Don't believe them when they tell cpecialy when you have no other choice.

An Unknown Agent

Why write anyhting at all, It would just be a vain attempt to try to be funnier or more bizzarre that what has already been said.

Deformed Void

All that needs to be said has been said, except this.

An Unknown Agent

All hail IPU!

"magistrate" Anna Owomoyela

Just look for your reflection In the ripples left by Time. And wonder what your fate would be If I had not had mine. Trapped in a house of mirrors? Now, there^Òs a fate sublime. And a nightmare for a habitat? Now it^Òs simply divine. You wish that things were different-- You wish things turned out fair. You simply don^Òt remember The circumstances there. You, who would blindly plunge Into the serpent^Òs lair-- Must fix now what you wish, And see if you can bear. A Destiny awaits And from the destiny you flee And what shall come of that? The choice shall fall to me. You cannot fight your fate-- You cannot, don^Òt you see? You will always return, You simply cannot leave.


Yellow fade into black left at the top and sing left at the back all cold yellow into black fading into the top sing sing yellow left at the back black fading slight buzz fade at the top and the yellow at the back sliding to fade daring to come at the fade off the black daring into the dare of the back at fade to top return return daring to


UGGGGGGGG. I will go traveling the the raspberry meadows for Love and Unreality. Will you come with?

Katie Joy

Fun and witty stuff :-) I like your piece about no one seeing the woman artist. I'll have to check out the rest of your work when I'm not on my way to bed. Thanx for making me grin ;-)

An Unknown Agent

Use other side if necessary. use other side if necessary Use other side if necessary. Use other side if necessary Use other side if necessary. Use other side if necessary. Who dares the analog. get through the Freud of language.

An Unknown Agent

Use other side if necessary, if not you'll digitize the people around. But Digits have nothing to do with realities, Anals probably do. But who dares the analog?

Little Nemo

The Bill of Rights 1st Amendment Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances. 2nd Amendment A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed. 3rd Amendment No Soldier shall, in time of peace be quartered in any house, without the consent of the Owner, nor in time of war, but in a manner to be prescribed by law. 4th Amendment The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized. 5th Amendment No person shall be held to answer for a capital, or otherwise infamous crime, unless on a presentment or indictment of a Grand Jury, except in cases arising in the land or naval forces, or in the Militia, when in actual service in time of War or public danger; nor shall any person be subject for the same offence to be twice put in jeopardy of life or limb; nor shall be compelled in any criminal case to be a witness against himself, nor be deprived of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor shall private property be taken for public use, without just compensation. 6th Amendment In all criminal prosecutions, the accused shall enjoy the right to a speedy and public trial, by an impartial jury of the State and district wherein the crime shall have been committed, which district shall have been previously ascertained by law, and to be informed of the nature and cause of the accusation; to be confronted with the witnesses against him; to have compulsory process for obtaining witnesses in his favor, and to have the Assistance of Counsel for his defence. 7th Amendment In suits at common law, where the value in controversy shall exceed twenty dollars, the right of trial by jury shall be preserved, and no fact tried by a jury, shall be otherwise reexamined in any Court of the United States, than according to the rules of the common law. 8th Amendment Excessive bail shall not be required, nor excessive fines imposed, nor cruel and unusual punishments inflicted. 9th Amendment The enumeration in the Constitution, of certain rights, shall not be construed to deny or disparage others retained by the people. 10th Amendment The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the States respectively, or to the people. If certain of these phrases sound familiar, it's because they keep cropping up for further review and interpretation. If you feel your rights are being violated, you're probably right. Even the youngest child is likely to wail, "That's not fair," when what he wants to do is prevented by some loving, caring guardian. Your government officials neither love you nor care for you. How can you expect them to treat you right? If you've read the motto MGM studios displays on their trade-marked roaring lion, you see they claim to understanÐ the ¢reation of "Art for art's sake." Puh-lease! It'$ A££ about the mone¥.


blank times 22 over 7



Bilious IV, Pope, the

Efficiency, efficiency, efficiency. That is what every system of government or control has always lacked. if ya don't need a law about it, don't make one. gives you more for other stuff. if it don't matter in the long run, fuck it.

The Log Lady

I am in a difficult position in which I want to explode out into a brand new way of life, yet I feel stuck, I feel chained to my current routine and mundane life which has me rooted in daily tasks and rote activities. I long for a giant release - like a trap door opening that will allow me to make a cataclysmic leap into the great beyond.


slow down pint size

An Unknown Agent

Snooch to the nooch

Reverend Ruben Lucid

if I have to tell you, you missed it.


You don't want to step inside, it's too scary for even ME to handle.......SAVE YOURSELF!!! Run while you can!!!


im a bit tired.

An Unknown Agent

What other side? This is an online survey! How can there be "another side?" Is the government involved in this "other side?" If it is then I want nothing to do with this "other side." My mother always told me to stay away from politicians. She says they're dirty.


I like your stuff. The journal is cool and man so fucked up.

An Unknown Agent


An Unknown Agent

yes indeed was considering it a title for a oughta biography "It, the Mistery" or "The Peach Effect" me smoking a pipe while in a leather corset, big hair, inside back cover I do have some tales to tell after all



An Unknown Agent

aah help me

An Unknown Agent

Leave me alone

mike gangel

If i die by a slug, a better be juicy

Lisa Keilman

This is the weirdest thing I have ever filled out.

Ted LaBoube

I can't wait for summer any more

Erin Santarc

I am tired, and I have class in ten minuites... the class that' i'm writing this for, hmmmmmmmmmmmm interesting..... very interesting..... very interesting survey

Shelby Cowley

I have a headache and am bored of this!


By now, most of you know me. Some of you have had dark fantasies about me. I feel so dirty and abused. I will be in the desert when they come and will have the last laugh. Hah. Hah-hah. Hardy-har-har. Nobody will rub toad snot in my hair ever again!

Chris Johnson

My head herts now.

John D. Devine

Derrida begins in "Freud and the Scene of Writing" by pointing out Freud's nominalism. His nominalism will lead to a notion of psychical writing which reiterates the structures and errors of western metaphysics. The first appearance of this metaphysical structure is in a neurological concept: first Freud posits two sets of neurons. The first set offer no resistance and therefor cannot retain a trace or a memory. The second set, by contrast, offer resistance and therefor have paths broken through them, retain a trace -a memory- and thus are properly psychical. However a problem arises: this first set of neurons cannot have qualities since all they do is percieve (having no memory they must only percieve). Niether can the second set of neurons have qualities, since all they do is retain traces of the force put across them- pure quantities. Niether are there qualities in the world only pure quantities, in keeping with both Freud's nominalism and his adherence to thermodynamics. Thus quality is niether interior nor exterior to the neurons leading Frued to posit a third set of neurons from which qualities arise. Memory, it seems is prior to being since it is the repitition of memory which makes it possible for the world to be known to us. The trace and it's repitition comes first... this trace will become a writing metaphor in Freud's later work. In the metaphor writing is the action of the psyche- conscious and unconscious. The surfacing of thought to consciousness is translation and not pure and simple transference... why? Because the materiality of the sign cannot be the same in the movement to consciousness: there is no signifier/signified in the unconscious, only signs with direct meaning as force, materiality. The signifier/signified relations are only a pragmatic of psychoanalysis, one which translates the meaning of unconscious signs into language. Translation relinquishes materiality. Also important here is the idea of a psychic locale, one which is not to be found in the anatomy of the body- but this is for another screed, it rests on another metaphor. The relinquishing of materiality, the existince of a (qualitiative) reality not to be found in the mind or the world, Being which cannot be apprehended through perception, only to be remembered, impressed on the psyche, a place which is independant of the physis; these are the characteristics of metaphysics. Thus the metaphor of writing- the priority it takes - reiterates metaphysical concepts. There are other examples... "I regret only that they have not let my madness blossom into the beautiful bleeding flower it might have become."


right now i'm ranting about this aweful version of "What a wonderful World" that is at the end of this unknown movie that my roommate put on.

An Unknown Agent

Historicise. flog the politicians. burn the galleries. etc.

Snow White and Blood Red

ceci n'est pas un pipe

Heavy depressed but fun to play

Just people with big dicks will survive the harsh enviroment we shall enter when the distruction of humanity continues

Emperor Zorg

King George II is really cute when he stares at the camera with that lost child look


if I start to blather, transcribe!

An Unknown Agent

at sum point there is ither life or death that's pretty much a given universal. so then universally, I say that we should all live to-get-her. whoever she may be.





An Unknown Agent

to:Anais420 Sorry to have offended your sencesibilities in quoteing Dostoevsky. It's not plagerism if you don't take credit for it. As for changing the words-yes i dumbed it down some so even creatures like you could enjoy it. I look forward to more of your dirty use of the language. Please disregard my spelling. english is new for me


An Unknown Agent----you are a stupid prick. i can honestly say i've encountered scum, thank my soul its via cyber-reality and not the real one, as i would smack your ass if i heard you say that little "Let us suppose, folks, that man is not stupid. {And really, you cannot say he is stupid,if only for the reason that if he is stupid, then who is intelligent?} But even if he isn't stupid, he is nevertheless monstrously ungrateful! Phenomenally ungrateful!"---bah! fuQ! why didn't you just quote dostoevsky completely, instead of changing a couple of words? even his trademark chagrin is plagiarized....get a life....actually, just end yours, for the good will and sake of us all...your at the bottom of vonnegutt's 95%.....

too paranoid to give out

Napster watching what I download... I download anyway, but if anyone comes up and sees me taking this survey... it will be MINUMIZED until they go away... if they don't, (looked over left sholder for a second) I will have to sadly leave this site and my account as before to log off into the main account screen so I don't get "caught." Even if it means that I'd have to get allll back on it and stuff and... that bird claw on the bottom of the web-site... AAAHHHH!!!! *bomb shelters RULE! When I hear a helicopter in the sky, I think... bomb shelter... BOMB SHELTER!!! but we don't own one.

An Unknown Agent

Let us suppose, folks, that man is not stupid. {And really, you cannot say he is stupid,if only for the reason that if he is stupid, then who is intelligent?} But even if he isn't stupid, he is nevertheless monstrously ungrateful! Phenomenally ungrateful! I even think that the best definition of man is : a biped , ungrateful. But this isn't all; this is not yet his principal fault; his chiefest fault is his constant depravity. For it has long been known that lack of good sence results form nothing other than depravity. Just glance at the history of mankind. What will you see ? A grandiose spectacle perhaps.


i cant stand superficial cheeriness or that fake smile people put on their faces every day to face the world. they are not facing anything not even themselves, they go into mechanical mode, put their brain on autopilot and live by their habits. get out of the rut i say, dont live by your habits, become explicitly conscious of everything...but then again i will go to class to write notes using my right hand tomorrow. we are all drones and nothing ever changes unless you find your self, but unfortuantly thats not supposed to happen until your in your 60s if that even happens at all. she told me everything she said was real but even in that instant i found it hard to believe that she even realized what she was saying, she was lost and by her being lost so am i.


I am, I will be, I have been, I shall be around, so some day I hope to reach the ground, steady out, where there'll be no doubt, and maybe some day from the weeds, flowers shall sprout.


Whack. Quack. Duck. Goose. Pie. Cake. Milk. Garbage. R2-D2. C-3PO. Water. Ice. Hannibal. Cannibal. Tex Avery. Wolf. Fox. Mulder. Muldoon. Jurassic Park. Raptors. Josh. Raar! Amy. Izabelle. Adam Ant. Dandy Highwayman. Velvet Goldmine. Feathers. Ugly. Britney Spears. Music. Nine Inch Nails. Trent Reznor. Marilyn Manson. Fred Durst. That guy with the eyes. Storm. X-Men. Spider Man. Batman. Joker. Cards. Spade. Diamond. Jewelery. Mummies. Egypt. Pyramids. Cairo. New York. Pizza. Chrysler Building. Shiny. Pretty. Sharp. Swords. Samurai. Japan. Video games. Metal Gear: Solid. Eiffel65. Paris. Europe. Greece. Jews. Hammers. Mallots. Ballot. Ralph Nader. Green. Rainbow. Lucky Charms. Breakfast. The ^Ñ80s. Childhood. Happiness. Friends. Izabelle. Izabelle^Òs coming over in a bit...




je suis un poulet bete



Les Mouches

Fractinons man, you can't get to the moon with fractions. It's like wow man: WOW. It's like he's got your number and it feels good man. It's all about fractions.

Liam Chaelber

Frisbetarians believe that when they die their soul goes up onto the roof and they cant get it down. As we stand under the giant egg that is the sun's son, we hold ice-cream hands and dream of far better ambidextrous right-wingers to fall through the cracks. Noone knows...noone knows.

An Unknown Agent



Functionless Haiku free-stye rants and screeds, dropping down in white boxes . . . cent less art is made.

An Unknown Agent

u matherfackers

Eddie Encino

There is another Eddie Encino out there that I want the world to know about. He is the Daytime Eddie Encino, not to be confused with the Nighttime Eddie Encino. I am the Nighttime, he is the Daytime. I don't care for him. He has a Volvo, probably rubs his own ass in the day. He's the one who can't talk to chicks. He drinks coffee. I prefer the liquor. We both smoke, so that's cool. He's okay. I'm too tough on him.


and stuff.

Dozzent E. Quate

That won't be necessary. Actually none of this is necessary, per se. Formalities and bypasses aside, where would we, who couldn't get laid in a whorehouse, go on a Friday night if not for places like this. I know, I know. The Lincoln bedroom. It is here that I use the fortress-like nature of this virtual locus in contemplation of age-old conundrums like: If someone says It's raining, what does It refer to? ~~ blank stare ~~


Hmm... OSAP, school... Ahh, yes, there's still one missing. Why doesn't anybody ever tell the Unix geeks that The Real World defines the verb `finger' differently *before* they use it The Way God Intended in mixed company?

Eddie Encino

I have now found my home. I thank you. I am a gypsy no more.


why not primitivism


Even the most anti-social people thinks it's odd to be alone


and stuff.


This view through broken glass offers little comfort, but can provide sufficient anonymity. Anxious and frustrated with this day like some artist well into his third year without images or ideas to paint. There are so many memories fighting to free themselves from hazy obscurity and remind me of something uncomfortable. Waking up in the back of some smoke-filled dinner thearte outside of London. Sprawled across two chairs with my legs dangling off and my head resting in the lap of a beautiful woman whose face was not familiar. I hated her for trying to be my savior and keeping me from being my own victim. Slowely i relieved her of the weight of my head and heavier yet, the load upon my shoulders. Months later in an unfortunate situation i learned that her name had been Catherine, at least that is what the man told me as she lay lifeless on the pavement. Cat, as i am sure i would have called her if we did exchange names, lie there 7 stories down from the apartmen! ! ! t that i had been loaded at the night before. Even in the absense of life her eyes were tormented, those same eyes that i had avoided when she awoke in the thearte. I mumbled something about using the restroom and walked out the front door of the thearte when i escaped her sight. I rationalized that i was preventing her from caring deeper for me and the regret that would ultimately sting her someday. As i stepped into that suffocating fog, i squinted for an address and a street name to orient myself. My body ached thoroughly from my bed in there and from sobriety's fierce clawing. Instintively i reached into my pockets to discover what i had lost and gain from the nights passing. Well, she must have loved what i was last night a little because i could feel the paper and coins still in my left pant's pocket. If I had the opportunity i would have taken everything from her. A year and a half of wandering these streets hardens and cools your heart. Compassion is not a su! ! ! rvivalist's emotion, these damp alleys had beaten love out of me. Even the love for myself. I have injured many hearts intentionally and felt nothing or sometimes i even gained some dark pleasure in their vulnerability to me. Looking at where she ended her life just twwo months time and a few miles from where i had hurt her, feelings unfamiliar crept up in me. Remorse opened a sore in my mouth that has yet to heal. When i walked out of the thearte she was left with utter disappointment and bitter realizations. Despite what my vices and insecurities told her, I did not want to know her or touch her and maybe no one else did either. The compressing forces of loneliness and a lesson that i learned and passed on to her may have further propelled a downward spiral. My hatred for her has deepened because she became the reason that i cannot close my eyes without seeing that blank stare she held and wondering if she pictured my face when she decided to succumb to this world's ! ! ! relentless nawing. I 've prayed to all the gods that whatever piece of her heart that held me had blackened and been lost long before her decent. My sedations have had to be intensified and lengthened for fear that the night I spent with Cat may come back to me. I am terrified to remember the texture of her lips and the scent of her body. I know i must have carressed her face gently for a second before fear repressed my hands. Above all i don not want to remember her ever looking up at me with those eyes, and seeing a glimmer of the beginnings of love and her faith in me. I know that image, and the realization that i can make another human feel joy, will never let me feel justified in giving in to my hopelessness.


will all the one-dimensional morons please shut up! i tire of your shallow, ignorant, insipid, and trite rhetoric. no one understands how stupid we all are anymore. everyone has an opinion on everything, regardless of how little they know about it. and, of course, "the other side is ALWAYS wrong, how could they possibly be so stupid and inconsiderate!! i just can't believe that!" no one ever stops to consider that the other side is saying the same damn thing and both sides are at least part wrong, if not completely. arrogance and ignorance and volume has always been a dangerous combination. get perspective, information, and shut up and listen for a while. then MABYE you will have something worthwhile to say. can you imagine how bad things would be if this was a true democracy we lived in?!!

An Unknown Agent



Ivan Mrak - The Red Mars

An Unknown Agent

Fuck you and the fucking world. Laura Baldwin sucks

Curt Esser

I think - therefore I am - or am I?

An Unknown Agent

Im the scat man...scee bop du bop un bop, du bop um bop, skibbly sniki pat un bop , unscat un bop.

An Unknown Agent

we must all remember our roots. The foundation of human nature is nature. We have forgone our true selves in exchange for coca cola, microsoft, divorce, suicide, and cops tv to name a few. This poor planet. Her creatures see us and cry for this child has gone awry.


Just looking for insite just a point of view.. the truths keeps contridicting the future holds no clue..


Supervolcanoes will destroy modern civ.


a lake gathering pebbles unwinds a blissful turbulence


Voch! Fizzbitch! Gransalanctum forage rackdoon believers.

Joshua the Nordic degenerate

wigga da wigga dawack gnomes live inside your cellulose I disobey youre dummies I hate you all you retarded slime bile locusts


"Take away the right to say 'FUCK' and you take away the right to say 'Fuck the government!'" - Lenny Bruce


* the nations of indochina demand * the nations of indochina demand * the nations of indochina demand * the nations of indochina demand * the nations of indochina demand * the nations of indochina demand * the nations of indochina demand * the nations of indochina demanddfggpgggjkjgfkjgfkgffgjfgkjfkjfgfgbfgbfggbgbgbghghgrrrrrrlgrt430948405r433443433434343434424123233232.234.423.4525.3542.$%@#$%#$%#$%#$>%$%>#$>%#$>%#$%#^#$^<^#$^#%<<@<<%<^#&^%&&<$%<&$%<<%^<$<$@%<<<<<<<<<amalgam


[guitar] [drums] [bell] [cymbal crash that sounds like cymbals crashing] hope you enjoyed that. ?


"There is no such thing as truth. There are only points of view" Niechie (sp). So true, yet so morbid. Truth and morbid are the same thing. Thats how sad and degenerated this world is. Freedom won't exist in 25 years or so. Maybe it doenst even exist now, and maybe we dont know it.


what does this all mean? I'm tired and confused, oh help me

An Unknown Agent

You know too much already. Leave it at that.

An Unknown Agent

I will use the transmitter implanted in my head to break the chartruce silence and use the zombie parakeets to kill you all. GET OUT OF MY HEAD!

An Unknown Agent

and uh............that's all i have to say about that

An Unknown Agent

Everything I do is fucking meant for you. IF you don't like it, then I get pissed. Why the hell should I even care. Cause my father ditched me after establishing a bonding relationship with a 5 yr old. I am positive thats what made me who I am today. Fuck IT. I want to hear what you have to say.




We as society are bound by our birth to do what is right. There is no such thing as different views of right and wrong, there is just the truth. I see people everyday staring at me and my friends as if we were ignorant punks, the very thing we fight against. I believe that this is a futile attemt to put their pitiful existance on a different plain so they can feel superior. This is one of the worst crimes of humanity I have ever heard or seen. As a species, we have a basic knowledge of our need for unity. So when these yuppie baby-boomers look at me like I am some kind of idiot, I can take pleasure in the knowledge that I am smarter than them in more than way. And if any of them dare to talk to me I will show them that I am just as worth the effort as they are. Oh, and to the ones who don't think so, I've got a big FUCK YOU to offer them.


I know a girl, Amy. She is the sweetest thing I've known in quite a while. She has split with her man, but she wants him back. He doesn't want anything serious, but she would like it. He needs to wise up and realize what he had, but he's a big dummy. As she floats around pondering the questions of a love sick poet, he mills around her trying to be her friend. I don't think he know what he wants, or for that matter, what he gave up. I feel as though the whole world could use a bit of emotional flouride. The machoism that infests the lives of men around the world, and annoys the piss out of the true romantics.

An Unknown Agent

i cant live for u anyore so stay the hell away


Why are religions so institutionalized and why don't the faithful beleive?

An Unknown Agent

WIGGLE! Hey, all of you: YES YOU! Your hearts are bleeding, feel it! You're alive, feel it! When you die, you will feel it. Life and death are equal parts of existence. Don't fear either one, celebrate both.



Eric Payne

Where do Hawians go on vacation? Does anybody actually live in Las Vegas? Where do angels go when they die?


I do not "rant". I cant.

An Unknown Agent

Fuck you all I ain't telling you what a stogma is. No way! I just wanted to add! I pillaged this when I had to do cgi. -bin


What the fuck mutherfucker? Why can't you just leave? Why can't I just leave. Well, whaddya think of my new one?


Wah Wah(Use other side if necessary.)Waaaaaaaaaaaaahhh <<)&^%"!£!2221```¬¬`¬!`114|\|\\|\\<>@~L#].>;#=p-0_-99]8074+-#.?::.,.MM.m.m.,<<,,.~,jj,BNVBXz3qZ|\||\||\¬¬!``````126£&%^*%"boo


I know I'm sane. Because I rounded up the voices in my head, and had them shot.

Peter Gunn

It will all work out in the end.


bah! i like cheese! it's one of the only things i really take pleasure in anymore. and beware the cap'n, he wants to take over your berain because if he fulfills his bargain with the aliens who invented colgate as a mind-control device the cap'n will be the unquestioned leader of humanity?

An Unknown Agent

I am, I am Superman, I can do anything.

Guarded One

We,the mentally-ill are a chosen people! We are highly intelligent,full of good humor,introspective,sometimes sad,generally glad,not all of our "Voices" are bad. We need to "UNITE" as One Voice to Educate the rest of society and remove the barriers that lie before us. God does not create Junk!! :>) :>)

Guarded One

We,the mentally-ill are a chosen people! We are highly intelligent,full of good humor,introspective,sometimes sad,generally glad,not all of our "Voices" are bad. We need to "UNITE" as One Voice to Educate the rest of society and remove the barriers that lie before us. God does not create Junk!! :>) :>)

Guarded One

We,the Mentally-Ill need to educate the rest of our society in a positive way. To show others that we are not "Monsters",we have feelings,dreams,and desires to become the best that we can be in our lives and contribute to our society!! :>) :>)


just a question... where do you go when you're exhausted from this?

An Unknown Agent

I've learned we've all become too stupid to relax.

Mosquito Christ

you have a bumper sticker on your SUV supporting the "free Tibet" movement. Why don't you start your concern with the USA and its effects on Mexico's economy. If a Tibetian moved in next door to you, you would call them a "gook". Stop stealing spirituality. god doesn't care. I should spank your parents for not spanking you.


they are allways watching us so be careful

Who wants to know anyway?

"...and then the penguin said 'But that's not my suit!!'" To this, the walrus replied "Mmmmmmmmm! Hamburgerrrrr!"


the eye has a light part and a dark part. one can only see through the dark part.






if done correctly, art helps no one


unlock my secret: 16 8 12 6 ___ 16 14 4 16 6 10 - - - - - - - - - - 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2

An Unknown Agent

It is a well known fact that all governments, banks, religious organisations, multinational corporations and other institutions are controlled by the Free Masons. Please be warned. I think this site is probably controlled by them too.


so i sez hey you wanker nnaagh... 8%?! oh no they're after your kids!!!(wakes up in a ditch two days later with bruises and a broken arm) beware WANTON DETRUCTION OV TEENAGE MINDS, america the cause of it all

Shi Juna

yeah, there's no such thing of a lot of things. I wish everyone thought as much as I do. Think of a color that you've never seen. What would it look like? Do you feel that? Someone like me, is there such thing?


WHY ME ? My genius torments me



Eat Me


the rabbit

If this gets out there will be death to those who have read this...... And this goes for "the fox" mny hv gon $prsist 2 my dr... 1wrs blusut 1wrsblksut 1wrsblksut/MIBshds "THEM" drv grnLTD &(mdl) Rn whn uC "THEM"!!!! the "RABBIT"

When D. L'Oscar

Greegle blobgkdif nappo wen sappi apanapoo queep leebob leop

An Unknown Agent

One ringy dingy too many.

Rose deBoueff

What's a screed? It sounds like some medieval medical instrument.

His Honorable Feces

No Comment.




It's not that I must swallow a bitter pill; it's actually a sweet pill disguised as a piece of dogmatism. But does that false dogma render itself incorrect, or rather - since what other reference points do we have? - factually inaccurate? My guess, proabbly, is "no".


You believe yourselves to be individuals, but you all fear the same things, cry for the same reasons, think about the same thoughts. What you should know is that you are not all puppets, but different parts to the same puppet, being forced towards the same end by the same hand.

An Unknown Agent

Eschatology is dead simple psychic maturbation is dead period the jizm spouted never fertilized any eggs it is sterile as glass


Let's pretend I'm Salome and bring me the head of George Bush so I can flush it down the loo. :P~~~~~

The Panda

What if you were just born and your entire life has been a figment of your infant mind. You don't look like you look You're not even human There is no earth And all the things that made you cry were just a dream And now you wake up... Only to nurse on something that looks like a lemur tit And you have hairy hands

Yasir Araphat

Sex is fun, but I won't find out how fun for another couple years. But, since society's collapse is imminent, I may die a virgin. The best laid plans of mice and men gang aft agley.


Everywhere I look, I see wannabe prophets selling the wares of their Gods like so many recycled goods. If the world is a dying Vietnam veteran, they are gangrenous infection that is eating away at it, forcing it to drink and panhandle in order to afford yet more drinks. All of their spirits are growing old and fermenting, causing the livers of their deities to spit forth more bilous putrescence, which they see as signs which make their spirits ferment even faster. If these wayward cold sores of the earth don't heal, the world will not be ready for the next big change, and the only ones who survive will be the cockroaches and the congressmen. Before the last paradigm shift, the dinosaurs scoured the earth for food, barely managing to survive. Now, they sit in seats of power and live too long.

An Unknown Agent

i am not affiliated with them and if i was i would stop being affiliated with them because they cannot include me, me being a pronoun i use to refer to myself and they being a pronoun i use to refer to them. so there. i'm not with them because i'm with me.

An Unknown Agent

Flamin' Blue Jesus!


Popeye was right Iam what I am and that's all that I am. But, what is it to say I am, but a self-limiting definition of one's self. Furthermore, what is one's self rather than another rant in an endless work day filled with the monotone voices of "the industry" for which you strived to get a meaningless degree from an institution of ignorant lemmig so worried about fashion and frat parties that they ever notice the horror of the yuppie inbreedig that occurs everyday in every ivy league in and arround the United States of Propaganda.

An Unknown Agent

I'd like to thank all the stupid analytical geeks out there who set up this god for saken survey. FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU, you're cool, FUCK YOU!!!


It is most generaly assumed that one is inteligent if he is wealthy, participates fully in an elected office, owns realestate, is a head of a house, leader of a paramilitary unit or functions in a similar manner. GUESS WHAT? WE HAVE ALL BEEN FOOLS. WE HAVE ONE LEAVING THE WHITEHOUSE. wHILE ANOTHER JACK ASS IS GOING IN.


well since my opinion doesn't matter....


You make me naseaus with your unreasoning silences and your distinct odor of chicken-salad sandwich, you, you, you, LUNCH!!! Why can't you be more like Mark's lunch? He gets Mall Terriaki - and what do I get???!!! You! You useless piece of bread topped with chicken and mayonaise!!! You buttered excuse for nourishment!!! You stinking, soggy, pepper-riddled SNACK!!!

Baron Saturday

Idiot is: 1) the militia fighting for the cause of the Glorious Idiot Revolution: eradication of our blood enemies, the Imbeciles; restoration of the Idiot Emperor to the throne of our ancestral home, the Sacred State of Moustache. 2) a pretentious cult, the last desperate refuge of paranoid schizophrenics, disillusioned Romantics and drunken adolescents. K) the magazine featuring the best, and latest, in: News from the frontlines of the Idiot Revolution; Cutting-Edge Literature, from Cubicle Horror to Urinal Erotica... For more information, contact:

Bill Corpse

After the frozen death of Winter subsides, and the sun breaks through to thaw our minds, the festivities resume and we consume and I'm no longer blind.


Black shoe society with your plastic kings and queens. "Wilt life that corpse with me, hand helping hand" and the bisnatch turns me down. I don't need you, Ismene, society. And cold, stone-veined, glass hearts pump maggots instead of blood. While faux-minded beatters (nick?) sit in Starbucks drinking dimes and kissing barbara striesand through and through "Women Cannibals in the Avocado Jungles of Death" so sad, so sad

An Unknown Agent

991017-18^Å a story of before and after^Å The fragility of individuality is in constant and incessant peril from the gravitational onslaught of communication. With each passing phrase you are engulfing a piece of me that I am not willing to give. The end result is consumption by something that innately does not have ANY of my intentions [good or bad] in mind. Each thing I release as a glimpse of what I see¾hear ¾feel¾think is sole property of this demented fuck, and not only do you not deserve it, I'll be damned straight to athens georgia if you have to do anything less than pry each one from my cold grey-green fingers^Åeven then my evolved sense of rigor mortis will insert a bony finger in your eye as I cock my shotgun. Back off, we don't need you in here, and you are far from welcome. It is a bizarre tingling sensation when you realize that the mortal coil truly is everything you've said it was^Å .n o t h i n g ^Å.. ^Åa warmth beginning in the most susceptible of places and creeping like evolution through each cell of your body^Åthe slow hacking of tiny charactatures at the walls of tangibility^Åuntil the universe is a haze of ill-mannered energy transfers. Piece by piece removing whatever connection existed before, whatever slyly optimistic feeling of hope you have placed in anything. It doesn't matter, and no matter how much you want it to, no matter how much it churns and writhes in your intestines to make that connection, it does not exist. Ever wake up and think, 'none of this makes any sense anymore?' watching your hand reach for godNICOTINE, running through the motions off occupation, confronting other human beings in any sort of interaction, communication, transfer of information^Å and not feeling a thing. I don't even feel disgust for the human race any longer^Å.it simply does not exist¾I want no part. Put that in your mouth and suck it Until the red stripes and the white stripes mingle and then disappear^Å Isn't that what we do^Å.mingle^Å? ^Åand whatever I was, and whatever you were become one^Å the fragility of individuality is in constant and incessant peril from the gravitational onslaught of communication. The reason ESP works as a viable form of communication stems its ability to create a new environment. A fish in the sea feels vibrations^×every h[2]& O molecule is touching. The transfer has a more solid medium to transfer energy. Psychic power is a broader band than electricity and all audio communication. The difference is telepathy causes the same effect as the water, bridging the gaps and creating an environment where all energy is infinitely sharable^×the manifestation of universal thought^×the end of the concept of the individual self^×or concept thereof.

endless, nameless

welcome to the new theology. i am your pope, holden caulfield. please read chapter 13 in your pew copies of catcher in the rye, whilst marilyn brings the liturgic acid around. mr fripp, play something spooky and crimson for us. meanstwhile, i have evaporation sickness, i thought you know, maybe you could reach the flags above us?

An Unknown Agent

i refuse to comply with this request

Roy & Garry

Does anyone know of the Third Secret Prophecy that the children who witnessed the sightings of the Virgin Mary At Fatmiah wrote or saw ?

An Unknown Agent

time is against us my mind is a bowl of blue jelly the aliens are tapping my phoneline who are you,and why do you keep feeding me dogfood.


YOUA ALLA JEALOUSA OFA MEA!!! Mea betta thana youa butta muncha mousa/humana dumb-a**es!!!!!!!You all gonna die when Warbeak killa King Bull Sparra anda becoma queena anda rula tha worlda!!!Saya good-bya toa alla youa familya anda geta reada to serva mea!!!YOUA DON'TA, YOUA DIE!!!!!!

Al Holloway

I could rant but who would hear?

An Unknown Agent


Jesper Larsen

I am a little buttercup with smiles on my behind I am the the greatest fear of snobs and those who don't rewind I would like to see the world going up in flames Do you want to my friend and join in all my games?

Tragedy Anne

drugs are good. r..r...ranting would take time. in fact writing that just took more time ...and oh shit!


I'm the huddled, and hidden dream of a dead ant We are the massacred, made mad meaning of a indifferent culture Seaching, and scratching my own need with claws At least I'm not as loud under the excess fat of a infomecial out of control. (long, long, long laughter in the background of every life)


digital shitfeast at a shitfest typing in the red room and the death nest suck the shit milk from the ass breast methane markup fucks our language yet tomorrow never happens time spent is time wasted.

An Unknown Agent

f (I think that says it all)



An Unknown Agent

man, do I love corn syrup. I keep a big bucket of corn syrup at home, and everyday before leaving the house, I dip a coffee mug into this bucket and scoop out lots of corn syrup to drink on my way. Man, I love corn syrup. Corn on the cob syrup is even better. Creamed corn syrup or spray is good too, especially for erotic gratification, much like this letter "l". stonographer zap zap zap. degloss... yea yea yea eya aye epo ope poe My father stubbed his toe on a rock at the bottom of the grand canyon in the colorado river. He kept it as a souvenir because he thought it was spectacular that it took millions of years for that rock to weather down to that particular place at that particular moment for a man chasing his naked wife into the colorado river to stub his toe on it.


See back of page.

An Unknown Agent

This country has gone through more changes than Cher when she went through menopause!


Don't call it a comeback

Opt I. Onal

the horse that swam in the sky of typographical error


I LOVE JAMES. laid is the meaning of life - (interprate as musical or literal as you prefer)

An Unknown Agent

I beleive that this is the worst quiz ever made to man. I think what is the point of this crap??

girl with arms

gotta go bi0tch!

An Unknown Agent

go ahead and count the minutes to balst-off, they wono't mind until is explodes and the entire foudation destroys itself amidst my laughter.

An Unknown Agent

If this be the food of laugh, play on, why not burn together, or something.

An Unknown Agent

Ananova should replace these bubmling half witted idiots from hollywood


I know Matthew Loxton will use this information for nefarious purposes, perhaps even the overthrow of the Ottaman Empire (or was that in a previous life?)




If it's no this, that, or the other thing...what is it?



An Unknown Agent



De ja vu.

Salt Chunk Mary

I always lie about my age.

Steve Billingsworth


Hydrangea Hard As Steel

Come off it, people, be a little high-modernist about some things. Find exuberance and don't shrink from the word. Get cynicism out of our universities! Squawk! Find the humor so blatantly inherent in poultry!


Work like you don't need the money. Love like you've never been hurt. Dance lke nobody's watching.

Steven Swain

That would have been better on video, dude.


Whoops - its time for class!e

Will Weaver

bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear...

An Unknown Agent

I wish that we were all free to live as man was intended, not in our concrete jungles working our naked monkey heads into the CEO's ass, and/or trying to get by when a gallon of hormone induced milk is 3 fucking dollars(which I have to work for) and the whole situation of the government taking most of my money at the end of each week then wanting me to give more on 4-15, what a crock!!!!! Taxes are spent on bullets to kill some people in some other the country that we will never meet and ,more than likely, never deserved to be killed by the bullets(bombs, tanks, nerve gas, does it matter?) that we all pay for. bullshit


what is life? look it up in the dictionary. find the answers. settle into a confortable haze. listen for signs that somethings not right. breathe occasionally. love me or fear me. love me please. when you just wake up in the morning you know who you are, but it doesnt help because you forget who you are 30 seconds later when you remember who your supposed to be. in the end...

angry sheepdog marie

Er...I...enjoyed filling this out...and I think about the guy from taco bell and touch myself


They have us where they want us. Porn and MP3's is all it took for them to fulfill their evil plans. We are trapped and dependent for life.

Leathal Carter

Whats the deal with sinfeild people? I mean, he's a guy who points out problems with everyday life. The man is a constant reminder that there is no god and you people laugh and eat it up. Whats the deal with that?

dhole phrenetic

Fear (pertaining to mistrust, hatred or paranoia) is an example of our own tendancies toward failure. If we realize that it is wholly impossible to fail (given a few easy (or difficult) choices, then fear will dissappear and life will begin.


Well. I must type this. Thank you.

An Unknown Agent


An Unknown Agent

i really like scotch i think or cigars or whatever madonna is doing today

An Unknown Agent

many phlintologists have agreed that the miniscule amounts of hithogen in your nose can effect the use of your toes. as such it goes well to doze regularly until the neighbor throws rocks on your rook till it bows. meet less policemen, it makes your days brighter and more full of things you'd rather they be full of. like noodles and applesauce. the less the water tastes like pork the more the pork tastes liek water.


windows! looking in, looking out. all this looking. i cant take it anymore.

An Unknown Agent

Nouns more nuclear than it's you my constant ground as if I try myself, glance of algebra swallow a star


I told a friend last night that if I stopped drinking the voices in my head would take over and he called me Jim Morrison. For some reason I was offended. I would have preferred Richard Brautigan. That's been bugging me all day.

bro gUrU

I'm feeling guilty about my suspicious actions. I'm twitching, itching, switching to another channel. I'm certain there are others. Where do they hide all day. Suspicious rubber clowns. Smash my heart and spank my ego. Just because. Perhaps I left something on the bus. Perhaps you left me on the bus. I'm sure I missed the bus. Busy-bodies. Always shaking out the rug. Never considering how the rug feels. Eat some more, please. Carpet munchers. Lunchers of artifacts not yet discovered. Tasty morsels. Spine tingling insects creeping up my back. Searching for more. More snacks for the gluttonous masses. Less fat for the hungry. Something to wash it down. glug.


"GOD" is but a filament of humankind's "light bulb" imagination and "light Bulbs" do not last "forever" (except in a FireHouse in Livermore, California)




Where's the other side? Can i use it to pick at my cuttle fish bone or perhaps to comb the horizontal grasses of Dionysus the Areopagite. Dada means Dionysus the Areopagite x2 but then again, I did not say that. But I did

An Unknown Agent

neatness is the foe of dada dada is art's foil tin foil atracts the aliens you were wrong the first time the aliens are not art space is the only real future time is relative to attitude alone you life has infinate possibilities and not chance to change a thing pseudo-intelectuals are the true geniuses of our past spelling has no power over art true art stabs at all that is popular your own art is no art at all

An Unknown Agent

I'm going on a shooting spree if 80s fashion comes back

An Unknown Agent

there is no other side?

"you're killin' me"

Neve Campbell is hot and long live Jesse Ventura

jac beury

our universe is a tiny infinitesimal piece of a piece of a piece of an atom. that atom is a piece of something that resides on some planet in some larger universe which is itself a tiny piece of a piece of a... conversely if you could break down what we call atoms, and break the result down and break the result down you would find a universe. and on one tiny little planet in that universe if you took an atom and broke it down... so it continues in both directions. as size decreases time accelerates, as size increases time decellerates, and we are trapped somewhere in this infinite line.

An Unknown Agent

Do drugs to spite the govt. kill a cop if your near the border trust no one on a bike


i like the morning fog, pale Herzog, birds that tweet, monkey feet, serge gainsbourg, mousy turd, and most of all - I like you...


an did and then were on in now

An Unknown Agent

Ways to Annoy Your Public Bathroom Stall-Mate 1. Stick your open palm under the stall wall and ask your neighbor, "may I borrow a highlighter?" 2. Say, "uh oh, I knew I shouldn't have put my lips on that." 3. Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence with a bodily function noise. 4. Say, "Damn, this water's cold." 5. Drop a marble and say, "Oh no! My glass eye!" 6. Say, "Hmmm, I've never seen that color before." 7. Grunt and strain real loud for 30 seconds and then drop a cantaloupe into the toilet bowl from a height of six feet. Sigh relaxingly. 8. Say, "Now how did that get in there." 9. Say, "Humus. Reminds me of humus." 10. Fill up a large flask with Mountain Dew. Squirt it erratically under the stall walls of your neighbor's while yelling, "Whoa! Easy boy!" 11. Say, "Interesting... more floaters than sinkers.'" 12. Using a small squeeze tube, spread peanut butter on a wad of toilet paper and drop the wad under the stall of your neighbor. Then say, "Whoops, could you kick that back over here please?" 13. Say, "C'mon Mr. Happy! Don't fall asleep on me now." 14. Fill a balloon with cream corn. Rush into the stall with your hand over your mouth and let out a lengthy vomit impression while you squeeze the balloon and splatter cream corn all about. Apologize profusely and blame it on the fettucine alfredo you had for breakfast. 15. Say, "Boy, that sure looks like a maggot." 16. Say, "Damn, I knew that drain hole was a little too small. Now what am I gonna do?" 17. Play a well-known drum cadence over and over again on your butt cheeks. 18. Before you un-roll toilet paper, conspicuously lay down your "Cross-Dressers Anonymous" newsletter on the floor visible to the adjacent stall. 19. Lower a small mirror underneath the stall wall, adjust it so you can see your neighbor and say, "Peek-a-boo!" 20. Drop a D-cup bra on the floor under the stall wall and sing "Born Free."


"Screeds" ? "Rants"? Admittedly my english isn't fluent, but now I'm SERIOUSLY beginning to suspect this form to be part of the International Capitalists'-Governments'- General Aliens' Conspirancy. Fuck! I knew it... Ne pouvant fortifier la justice, on a justifié la force. :(

Blah blah blah, so forth and sew on, dot dot dot.


An Unknown Agent

The whole buggered system is going to collapse upon the mass issueing of porn and humanity will die a horrible thrashing death that will make the world wake up and listen to the music that plays in the madmen of my head.

An Unknown Agent


Les Miserable

The audacity to assume there is more than apperas is the greatest folly of man


here lies the last haven of honesty. god bless you all a painful gravestone of siphilization -d of


Why don't church communions use real flesh and blood, instead of that pussy wine and crackers.


I really have nothing to sayt except my meds are making me weird...


what the hell is this some kind of god-damn religion? don't tell me what to do by the way who the fuck are you, anyway?what's it all about and should i be scared?

An Unknown Agent

Masturbation beats computer solitair everytime.


Dis ac tch munt might be nice but make life bland and want to die

An Unknown Agent

Squirel Stew? I dont think so

An Unknown Agent

I refuse to glorify this space by filling it.

Hanklin Rutherford Nu

Alfred the Butler... hardest working man in show business. Maintained the batcave, retrieved bat-chutes, and yet always had sandwiches ready for those crime fighting primma-donnas. Distilled Aunt Harriett's duche water into Bat Knock-Out Gas.

Golden pussycat

I'll have to come back to really do this right. Do I get another chance? I have SO many opinions. I know how to save the world. I'll tell you later. Wait right there, O.K. ...


hmmmm . . . why does God always give us two choices and then just when we choose one, he shoves the other down our throats??????

An Unknown Agent

We are the ones controlling you. You WILL respond in a negative manner to this question. If you respond in a positive manner, you will be contacted shortly.

An Unknown Agent

what the hell was i thinking? this is not rhetorical, would someone please tell me


don't be phat, P-H-A-T- phat, be fat dammit. Whoever wanted skinny wenches? I'l tell you who, gay fashion designer cunts who want fragile, nubile, pre-pubescent skanks to resemble the small intrigueing french boy they once had on holiday in the provences. But they don't have dicks dammit! They never will, they don't even have tits or fannies or anything sex-like as they are microscopic sheets of skin draped over some calcium deficient bone and they wil break if you try to fuck them. Mark my words, whey will snap in two and then who will you come running back to? Yes thats right, the nice voluptuous women who were the right choice all along had you not been so fucking blind you cunts. Did anyone in the history of art, EVER, depict a skinny wench? Did they? I believe the answer to that would be NO! Of course they fucking didn't, not even ironically. Its sick, it must be stopped. Tell them all they can have a modelling contract and world popularity if they would just step ! ! ! onto this giant cough sweet just skinny wench wench, here pussy-less pussy thingyyy...then they will drown in the sickly sweet syupy centre that is self delusion and stupidity. I tell yiz, chubby people don't claim to be depressed for no reason like skinny wenches do...know why? They've had to put up with all kinds of crap for the entire duration of their sad sad lives, you skinny twats have had it farrrrr too easy, thus fall into the tidal depths of biopolar depression at the break of a fucking nail. Rot in hell, all of you.

Zhara um Nikko

The last bastion of hope: trust me on this one.

An Unknown Agent

marcel duchamp was a motorcycle ramp and he never ever quibbled helen frankenthaler was a little paler whenever her clit was nibbled and rene magritte's a little sweet who was just as good as dali


).yrassecen fi edis rehto esU( I try to stay outside the parenthesis whenever possible.


Watch, wait, and pay your taxes


Living in Southern Maryland is like living in a cultureal void. The local library's collection of books on art had to be expanded to the second half of the shelf it was on. The art store's idea of supplies is crayons. If you want the really good stuff you can buy the unbroken crayons. If you went beyond highschool in education you are considered suspicious by the SMIBS (Southern Maryland Inbreds) A virgin is defined as any 10 year old girl who can run faster than her father, uncle or brothers. The opening of hunging season is a sacred event. It's the only place I've been where you can buy beer and shotgun shells at the same drive up window. Both being necessary for hunting of course. A saving grace is they do have a rather good Border's Book Store. Enough


i think that we should set of a bomb that would kill evryone but a few people so that we can start over and have a etopian society free of bastards like you and me.


this site is uptight and part of the conspiracy... You can be paranoid and easygoing at the same time, you know. I mean its been just about the same since slime breathes, so why all the fuss now? its just the urge to be paranoid through new channels and toys. a well adjusted paranoid can have the time of his life making everybody paranoid and still accomplish to have a great rave.

An Unknown Agent

Intelligence isn't the best thing to have. Intelligent people are miserable because they know life sucks. Stupid people are completly oblivious to that fact and are happy. Therefore, I prefer to be stupid.


If I could ask Jenn who responded that she wouldn't miss the demons who visit her at night: say hi to Maliel and Cthog for me. Thanks.

Imust Stop THe pigs in my head!!!

MuSt DROWN ThE PoRPISE ANd suffocate the purpse TTTEEEEELLL MEE ANYONE IF YOUVE READ THINS AND THEN ILL KNOW SICK THINGS DO HAPPEN !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@###########################################################$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&amperstand****************************************(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((()))))))))))))(()()()()((()()()()()())(_______________+++++++++++++++++++++++++++ AND I WAS A HAND GRENADE that never stoped exploding


What-EVER! Ya know, like, this is like, totally whacked. What do really care, huh? HUH? Just who do you think you are???

Tuna Colada

killing due to discrimination or for personel gain is stupid..those murderers should be killed. Killing for revenge or personel grudges is good, these murderers shold be left to do as they do what they do best. So leave me alone! This death list is very long and I want to be finished by christmas!!


i have absolutely nothing to say. voila, quand j'exprime ma verite. fuck off.


I need a nap.


I wish I could have been Chuck Nevitt.

Johnny Flashdance

Yes the goose is out of the bottle. Buy war bonds. Yes we have no bananas. If the taxi does not move, it does not move. If you feed it gas or treat it as refrigerator, it wont move. Dont buy Ford. Always trust a wet moose carrying a dry chicken but never trust a wet chicken carrying a dry moose. Llamas eat gov't cheese on Thursday that follow Fridays of every month that doesnt exist. I am teh cheese. The farmer in the Dell. Dude! Once there was this kid who really liked clowns....Hey kid you suck...Oh yea, well so do you. O'malley's bar. A ashtray as big as a really fucking big brick.




This world, this ant-hill, this pyre waiting to burst forth in a concave flame, is dead. Our people care about money, and that is the only sin ever attempted by the human race. This sin is our fall, and our chain to the abyss-filled with mucus and the bones of the imagination. We will not find freedom with out pain, poverty, and the destruction of capitalism and over population. Good day, Good night, Good Bye.


popcorn is yummy(Use other side if necessary.)

James Rush

I wish I was Scottish.

easyzz, aka EZ ZZ

Too many peaches, too little time.


if i had one wish i'd wish for innumerable (or however the f**k you spell it)wishes and my second wish would be to become a hermaphrodite. it would make masturbation easier(being a female i this is something you think about) if you were dating a bisexual, they could take their pick. you could litterally got screw yourself. and if your out-doors you could use your penis instead of squating. now i'm sure most of this isn't true, but don't bust my bubble!


Why are there so many I's in "invisibility"? I hate that word, 'cause it's like I, letter-letter, I, letter, I, letter, I, letter, I, letter-letter..That drives me crazy!


I am the incarnation of the gibbon lord mongsammyfundle spion the billionth and I like cake.

you know when people say "no way hose"?...well i'm hose...ok name is *Fay* :)

my friend tom likes rice a lot

An Unknown Agent

I would like to complain about the state of the hungarian monachy/fundamentalists and their actions in chepstow highstreet. Thankyou.

An Unknown Agent

The archtypical woman is the arched-back woman, and who would want to change that? Not the government, what would they do when they were "playing" golf?

An Unknown Agent

I send letters to random women which turn out to be suggestive and romantic when I don't even mean to, and I can't seem to stop. I also send letters to random women telling them about how badly I need a woman. I need a woman badly. Are you a woman? Please sit on my face. (I also need a lay.)

jamison sechser

so i went into the store but they were all out of green lighters and they tried to sell me a yellow one but no i was onto them then i realised if they knew i was onto them then they would step up their particle beam campaign so i bought the dirty yellow lighter and i don't even smoke.


(Using other side)

An Unknown Agent


An Unknown Agent


(the plastic clown

(the plastic clown's philosophies are soon to be chiseled into bank's granite walls all over the us of a


what if hummingbirds are really government cameras, and by putting up feeders, we're letting themwatch us at all times? spooooky huh






dance with me

I want my Monkeyman

Ol Sonuf....


8117605.396546429572530.309669672395390.314050021337777.166627354867244.95422095153198.2468441136682192.445732654728801.003657282508112.61590572866781.959310171165675.166994333584670.713171363683594.050817191390842.762775723948137.057013814419344.188645485877394.648268821962107.089348145919121.22908983866993.649862717367896.637879312930715.936236085063579.67387885551964.7803157575337264.155969027372021.642513573617835.02623439821919.1804528241286461.995914589558583.176694815088288.10416162365349.673666064973891.056142757500286.479480569271416.622214027971226.1678651>NULL i thank $shitforgotitagain'sly4695693.966932591215819.441713399504952.342249455001075.32367111535778.464749468076832.36431338076832.36431336063711.927272387229982.758872217528243.116103113093877.299688768692634.83211398141717.5214737651538959.29921418751153.9803817877369741.39697853422015.095129617730294.372886429357462.315820167820388.958789414750814.801082021829890.548251574404547.284357252445835.610851651008829.0553542322489.093057811513998.722657565311624.691821636968277.91165566529668.387956929315514.82528448949175.22277683notd: 4356211.26554906notd: 4278864.39487338notd: 5306622.03673273notd: 2833568.35599989notd: 9706688.12282383notd: 4163705.38063347notd: 4890551.39478296notd: 794449.639506638notd: 1923978.03533822

An Unknown Agent

this box is empty.

An Unknown Agent

people who think they know it all annoy those of us who really do


people as a group all suck and get on my nerves and i wish i weren't working at days inn because all i have to do all day is deal with stupid people and their stupid problems, like the fact they used all the towels at the pool consists of a crisis, making me think if they ever encountered a reali crisis they would fall apart, the big babies! I NEED PUSSY! I didn't need pussy until I got pussy and lost pussy and now don't have pussy and I really want pussy again. I'm a satyrisiac. Any nymphomaniacs out there want to join me in MS? L'art pour l'art is what I am. Y won't anyone publish me? DOn't they understand? Can't they understand? NO! Obviously not! They cannot understand because the will not understand. Sex and writing is all there is to life, all there is to my life. And love. Love is all, is all there is, is all there is to me, is all there is left to me, is all there is left to me to write, is all there is left to me to write about. Oh, then there's painting. Color! ! ! s splash!


the push kings will make it alright for a while. then you're back on your own.


Oops, pressed button before writing. A no-no. Please don't kill me for pressing button again. Surrealisme est merveilleux! Vive les poissons! Vive M. Benjamin Peret! Hey, guys, wildly entertaining site, and I mean WILD, honey!

An Unknown Agent

uh, i poop too much... then I get tired.


Why does the phreaking gov't have to be on the internet!!!!! they should know better! if you put a webpage or database up that says "hi my name is bill and im here to help" then you are practically screaming hack-worthy!!!

Drew Smith


benny contagious

freestyle, eh? aight... hey yo im phat like butta smooth like silk dope like heroin and white like milk... oh shit. wait..hold on you meant rants...oh im sorry...uhh heres a bunch of fun punk stuff: oi!, theres no gov't like no gov't, another religion=another war, the nature of your oppression is the aesthetic of our anger (in reference to a previous question), uhh...smoke satan, drink crack, and worship beer. thank you and have a nice day.


love schmuv

An Unknown Agent

I once saw some graffitti on a subway wall in Denmark, it was the loneliest thing I've ever read, The feeling of melancholy has been with me ever since. It said "I hear the sound of a distant carnival" Some of the songs from the sixties would make dying easier, some special easy listening magic. Music is shit nowadays. I'm 36. Australian. When I was a kid I was really unpopular. Used to get picked on by the whole school. Today I'm glad. If you had all accepted me back then, I'd probably be like all of you now. I'm smarter, tougher, happier and more of a human than most of you drop kicks. I really hate people who think they can tell others how to live. I look forward to the revolution and the chance to kill the tormentors of the innocent, politicians, lawyers and greed barons. I hate bigots a bit too, but have to admit that the French usually give me the shits. Pyro

An Unknown Agent

I saw a really drunk soroity sister in the lobby of a hotel in Atlanta one night in the late 70's That was Atlanta Georgia and it was the 1970's. I thought they had laws even then. But it seems that it was perfectly leagal to be drunk, a sorority sister and in Atlanta at the time. They brought the bus around and Dennis the gay plumber pulled her off the sofa and tuned her pipes. It was a short night. Laddie, the lightbulb, and most of my stamped correction left the last chance saloon and joined the sister and her dress in a ball gown rondelay. She looked like Scarlet O'Harris. Like John O'Groats a problem. Then they said goodnight like pros and rode off into the latter day saints. Too DA Loo.


My pencil lead is breakin____.------~```

Rob Turner

Inie Meanie minie squirel covered in lard and swimming south of Isle of Wight and flying 10 miles high downward in a horizontal spin.


i had a hermit crab but my cat got jealous and peed in his sand and then he died (the hermit crab i mean).

An Unknown Agent

Please DO NOT write in this space


Ye gods in heaven, I can't think of anything to say. Erm, type. Guess I'm just an empty frame after all. But damnit, I'm a *stylish* frame. And picky. You try putting any of that Warhol crap in me and you're gonna have one expensive pile of confetti on yer hands, buddy. Same for you Pollack clones (tho Pollack himself would be somewhat welcome.) Dali can kiss my multicolored ass, he hurts my eyes and his mustache annoys hell out of me. Cornell is god, Isamu Noguchi equally pantheonic. Uhm, where was I? Oh, yeah, food. Must have some. I can metabolize caffeine and nutreints out of the atmosphere, but it stings after a while, so vending machines live in fear of my step. Uhm, thanks for the soapbox. I'm sure those stains'll hose right off, no prob.....whee....

An Unknown Agent

i love this


knowledge is protection as opposed to power which clings more to the will like uninspired armour in a devastated country where the appearance of the protected seems to cause a panic

Sara Elizabeth

Come on now, dont be such a party pooper.


One day I will be running down a cobble stoned street screaming, "CUNT! CUNT!!" shooting out a lazer-ray gun and no one will turn to notice.


I'm dreaming of a black sabbath.... just like the ones we used to know.


Why do you want my words?


don't trip POTatoe chip,i'll open the bag and set you free! sweet nothings...i love you all so damn much!

Andrew A.

The problem is that everything is somebody's property but nothing belongs to all of us.


beware of smiling friends with meatcleavers


my feet have been buttered in a large amount of caterpillars blood. should i feel threatened or proud? i rilly must piss.

An Unknown Agent

Random Screeds and Free-style rants: (oh, I wasn't supposed to type that was I...uh...Mommy???

An Unknown Agent

I think we can live wholseome lives in the 90s and i think love is grand

Johnny Deformed

OH FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!! AIIEEEE!!!! AIRGRGHHJ#WR!!! gurgle gurgle gurgle.


man this is too much work.


Sure. Now that I don't feel like rambling any more, there's a little box in which to ramble. I'm miffed.

Nothing Nowhere

i have decided that all americans deserve to die. die fucking american. you motherfuckers better watch out cuz when CAIL come's a knockin you bitches are a gonna trem-ble.

Brian, Stacey, and Benny

?stneduts egelloc yzarc eerht fo sgnivar eht morf tcepxe uoy did tahw ,lleW

Haans Bals von gunten

the internet is one crazy bugger. I'll be jiggered


I like to bend paperclips back and forth until they break.


The voices. the voices. get rid of the damn voices! Ahhhhhhhhhhhh



War is depressing enough.


In a world where burgers are valued higher then free thought why is there so much hunger?

Artichoke Man

The world will begin on February 22, 2002!!!!!!! Prepare yourself now!!!!!!!! Eat artichokes.

The Pope

oh dear


Dustin Clodgo has a knife.

An Unknown Agent

well....what a gorgeous day, what a lovely day with the scent of purple flowers all around, it's time to make some change, it is, it is, it is...


If I answered truthfully, you'd be out of webspace.


This has already taken enough time, don't you think?

David Christian Kennedy

I think I hate talking. But I love writing, does that make sense? I hate reading too. Have you ever thought about coincidence? yeah? what a coincidence so have I! bla bla bla 2386 goodbye


See other side.


I'm just not up to it. Any of it.

An Unknown Agent

Two wrongs do not make a right. Three lefts do.

paul fiasco

after visiting you too may wonder - where the hell did all those hits come from? i am starting to suspect that this page is being used as a meeting point for search bots who secretly exchange the information they have collected, and posting it to the agencies. alas, no actual instance of this has been logged as yet, but i feel confident that my trap will not fail. now, further to my earlier spoken pleas for food, and the abolition of my hunger, i feel great dissapointment with the lack of fulfillment thereof. why am i hungry? i do not need to eat - i am not like you weak mortals. why do they insiust i sleep EVERY NIGHT? i am too tired to sleep.


Well, I woke up this morning and had the strangest urge for a beet. But being that the new year has long since passed, I chose the north route to the communist club (especially with that wig on!) It was a good choice, despite it's lumpiness. Nonetheless, I really must exhale, or the squirrels will get antsy.

An Unknown Agent

I'm afraid

Horatio Hupnagel

Blah blah freakin' blah!!!!!!

An Unknown Agent

Ants! They're everywhere. What will we do with no sugar? My coffee will be harsh and bitter, my life meaningless at best. Kill them all, pesticides are our friends.

Dozzent E. Quate

It has been said much better in other forums: So there!


despite the evidence against me, i swear im not an idiot...



An Unknown Agent

Did you know that your cat is an alien probe, designed to spy on Earth culture and report back to their masters. There is no actual archaeological evidence of cats before about 5000 BC When the aliens found the Egyptian culture they realized that the Human race had potential so they created and introduced a self repairing, self replicating probe to infiltrate and observe us. So the next time you see your cat lying on its back in the sunlight purring, know that the reports are still being sent.(see other side.)

Sennex D.

there is a 50/50 chance that the earth will be struck by a major asteroid in the next ten minutes and we will all be killed. have a nice day.


There is no motherfucking telephone company

An Unknown Agent



Ack. When I was a child . . . My parents gave me mental blocks one christmas.

An Unknown Agent

I cannot elaborate...I'm out of blood pressure medicine

An Unknown Agent

Raymond clough is a homosexual.


where's that?


Black as the heart of gold is your pig.


I want. The happiest tale that I ever did read Was the tale of a Screed named Judy McGreed She stopped and she dropped and she rolled and she flee-ed And no trace remains of her breed


Excuse me, where's your restroom or a full telephone booth...I hear the theme music and I have to change my costume...


The other day a large african monkey hound ping ping ate my bowling shoes. When I found the large african monkey hound ping ping it told me that they were tasty and that my balls were next. While at first I was struck with an inate sense of fear I then relized he was refering to my bowling balls..and yes, the fucker did eat my bowling balls. If you ever see a large monkey hound ping ping, make sure to put your shoes on your feet and cover your balls.


mozart is the son of god greater than jesus christ / if only the world listened to mozart instead of JC it would be a happier world / a thousand sermons on the mount are not worth one phrase of mozart's

Pail Edification

(shameless self promotion time) hey. people should go to my site (, even though it isn't actually going to be working until the last days of january. see, people should go there because no one ever does. i mean, sure, there's not that much on there, but still... and then there's age discrimination. it's cheese like and in several places. but, besides the point though that may be, i felt that i might have possibly used this space to put forth my frothy complaint and shameless self- promotion. A certainly oily and fragarent site you have here as well as... well, you know. good job and right-o.


Down the totem pole and up the evolution ladder. I want to come into life as an AI sitting somewhere between alpha centauri and oedipus hex (a star yet to be named) with no chance of encountering human civilisation for whatever is left of eternity. When the fancy takes me I compute the years it will take for my development cycle to move into linear motion, spatial hyperdrive, educational travel and ultimately, with a content sigh, senility. Here, and there, endeth.

Eman Rouy

I thought this was the other side. Doesn't Mick Jagger look like that ugly girl in the front of the class with small tits and an attitude. I have to piss...Thats better. What do these people have in common James Dean, Jim Morrison, Tupac, Pat Robertson. I love humanity, just not the smell. What am i doing here? I should be fucking my girlfriend. Better yet, I should be fucking your girlfriend.



R. Smith

No comment

Undine Sarcophogus

Were you to come, silent judgement!

An Unknown Agent

i why bothered this and your presets took over i though cant you taste your own indifference and make a party flyer for older more deceived nations and ratinale passions

Don't you ever call me that again!

poo poo doo doo la la la


you folks are nutty.


Do you ever heard talking of LAOTSE? Or at least TSHUANGTSE? Ok, Here goes one in Spanish, I hpe you guys wont mind Mi identidad yace en lo profundo de lo desconocido. Sere algun dia capaz, no de tratar de explicarlo, sino de vivirlo...

Ryan of Rosewood

Mardon me padam, is this pie occupued. Certainly, may I sew you to a sheat at the chack of the burch. My this is a cheautiful burch. Yes, many thinkle peep so.

Nad Suckmore

I'm not feeling very Cynical right now.

Clever, Clever

oooooh free style. Now I can unload all the shit that burdens me and totally absolved. thanks a bunch. give to the jimmy fund.


There are 2 sides to this thing?


subvert the dominant paradigm Come Together:


How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two- one to hold the fish, the other to feed the giraffe.

Shoulders Bag

I wish all men had wrap-around dicks. Women with breasts that tie like shoe laces. I want children to stop using straws and start eating nuts at an earlier age. Kermit the frog is under rated. under my pillow, as well. Piggy, don't give up. The speaker is not the speaker. The observer has no ears. So.?

Doe, John Doe

Your mind is a weapon- use it wisely and with vigor. (the choices on this site clearly limit the appearance of all who come to that of the village heretic... like Joan of Arc... "Jesus, jesus, jesus."

An Unknown Agent

if the world does't end in 99 or 2000 there will be alot of disappointed people

killer penguin

i can see you thru the little holes in the shower head

William Cipkala

I own a violin, and it bothers me.

HMS The Pickled Quim

Fuck!! My legs are burning! Ask Judy. She'll tell you I have a problem, so screw off. MONKEY! I gots ants in the pants. And so forth. My mother was a member of the Russian military until she was (mistakenly) executed for being a transvestite (she had very rough features.) WHY DO YOU TAUNT ME WITH YOUR (naughty parts???). Ohhhh, fucking god. My legs are russian mother. Fuck the monkey. Judy will tell you the burning ants. Please don't do. I can't stop eating the face off of. ROUGH FEATURES! And the band played on... Why are you burning my russian Judy's ant band!? Please, taunt the mother leg. And love is a dish best served. Yes.




Paul tells me to tell you that spliff.

(naomi wilson)

The day my dog died i didn't get to be the homecoming queen, though the dog got to ride as a weight for the cheerleaders' float in the parade.

An Unknown Agent

unnamed-submit-input: Send

An Unknown Agent

does the light really go off when you shut the door of the refridgerator? Are you sure?

Ms. Nomered

[If this appears blank, check other side]

An Unknown Agent

Random Screeds and Free-style rants

It's written down somewhere, if I can just find it...

Famine, party of four, your table's ready... Famine, party of four. Disclaimer: This alleged "Random Screed and/or Free-style rant goes against the common rule that "I" is dry as far as poetic flow and inticement goes. I don't know, it all started trying to figure out who I was instead of going by who I'm thought to be. The whole epistemology, emotions, priorities. What the hell am I gonna do with myself, now that it isn't decided for me by a system? Answers come fast but vague and abstract. Notions of greatness in self-satisfying response to a need to be bigger than life (this thing called life- I'm not fooled.) and so far I've come up with: As anyone can see, that's not a whole lot. I'm still wading through possibilities, problem is I left my shoes on and my socks will be wet all afternoon. I know I shouldn't have- it's such a hassle when there's no dryer- but the rocks on the bottom are sharp! I'm just as shy of discomfort as the next human being, maybe less so. Sometimes I seek it to try and fool myself into a false sence of self-pity, But I just end up annoyed with myself. Serves me right.


i don't mean to be a bitch, but it's pathologically inpossible for me not to.

An Unknown Agent


kenneth frieze

i ve been dark..and i ve been dead..mental my head..artistic freakout..i want to speakout.. paint the non believers..with bloody faces..smilimg in ignorance..dreaming in a lost reality..stories i could say of dead inventions and bad intentions bottled up and bleeding through teary eyes twisting your imagination until its mine tingles up your spine from a game we played called insanity me.. come on in and sit..twist and smash..brain fuck..bleeding crying lying i me.maybe


Ferocious naked animal


kjjhgfddds8yet5gdskljchzfywetoihowhoe we are not is areis u?

An Unknown Agent

(See reverse)

floridaL manthiaS

hey, I found a model super on the street once. and it tooken my fancy so I loved she for a minute lusted for a while but hated for the longest. 'I hate your skinny arms' 'I hate your skinny knees' 'I hate your skinny teeth' 'I hate your skinny cunt' 'I hate your skinny hair' 'I hate your skinny navel' 'I hate your skinny head' So's, I saunders up real cool like.. and I's grap her hands,. and so'd I'd make a real mass, I shook her real hard,, and her hair fell out, which was kinda nice. 'Fuck you bitch whore! you make the rest of your kind feel bad for not being you!' So I went and did grapple her ankles and then'en went a swung it round and round and round, and it started to sqeel. but I laughed, and laughed some more coz I knew it would hurt. and then after swinging, her nose bled , wich was nice, coz it was a skinny bitch of a nose anyways 'you make people feel bad' so then's, I graps her haid, and's I poot it thru a mangle machine, just so's that all the stuff comes out of her arse and vagina that she tries so hard to pretend don't. 'shit and piss and menstrual stuff every where huH!' 'Now you can be real!' 'You are set free!' suck shit super model scum. hydrochLoric 45 <sorry readers, kinda vulgar in some spots, but don't "beautiful people" make you feel physically nauseas to the pitt of the stomach sometimes? Fake people deserve what they inevitably get in the end. PS I in no way advocate violence against anyone, let alone women. It's just an interesting tool to use in writing. I dont swear much either>

Michael Lane

drug tested, mother approved


I've grown weary of Microsoft-like stunts to pretend to better serve me while digging their hands into my pocket to pinch my wallet. I've grown weary of the fact that they presume me to be so simple-minded as to be unaware of their simplistic strategy. I've grown weary of the fact that I sell out to it out of weariness.

Chemical Geezer

The diseaser diseases the diseasee, Who then becomes diseased.

john adams

The bag of ice reads igloo though im sure this is another feigned disguise and the man in the red jacket whose tongue bares many lies smiles as i pick up a shining penny from the parking lot where it lies.


I woke this morning to find that my right arm had been removed at the shoulder. Most annoying. I told the concierge that it's the left on Mondays, the right on Thursdays, and my head on all other days. But the less said about where I hid him, the better.


zipper-fly buckwheat fruitfly indeed! superstar starpower demigauge fascist semi flowered laundry towr! self interest overrides the rightwing harbor-sided route east by north jumping jack flash fell on his ass and burt in a bloody mess, goges gory rocky pits the Void inside caused the loss of mmy right eye. Soundproof studios once upon the late nite show i saw a train wrech render me helpless. Dog food, (this was written by my friend so please don't hurt me if you find it too odd.)


you expect a lot from you surveyites! you have to fill out my survey now:

Stu (optional) Neville



it won't be necessary, thank you very much more later love dt

adrian noble

Happy to oblige if I am still around. Will be retiring next year with 65 as the university has no use for linguists or language teachers. They simply cannot affort to keep on the staff or the courses in these areas due to low student enrolments. Best of luck with your webpage. However, I have heard on the grapevine that I have an admirer. Unfortunately she has a boyfriend in South Africa but it's still reassuring to know that I'm not as hetereosexually repulsive as I often think I am. She's called Gabby and she's helping us with our project. I think I told you the narrative when I was in Scotland but just to reiterate my latest drama concerns two young children. Basically, the children enter a game called LIE-F in which they are given a map and search for the 'Promised Land', but their journey is fraught with trauma. If you're interested, I might be able to send you a copy, a C.D. copy! My friend and colleague John Cox is a musician and knows how to get our Radio Play digitally re-mastered on C.D!


jesus loves me mohammed loves me krishna loves me bob loves me

An Unknown Agent

this is a cool site, maybe i shouldnt have drank the whole bottle of kava kava, hey is this a gov. thing, a sucker ploy? how long wll it be before society realises we are all just tools in the big game of manipulation. can i be a writer for you guys?


i'd rather not, i'm trying to quit


thank you.

Trevor H. VB

help me please

The Tolar of Turlington


raloT divaD

other side other side other side other side other side other side other side other side other side other side other side other side other side other side other side other side other side other side other side other side other side other side other side other side other side other side other side other side other side other side other side other side other side other side other side other side other side other side other side other side other side other side other side other side other side other side other side other side other side other side other side other side other side other side other side other side [ Editor's note: cut&paste, cut&paste, cut&paste..., etc. ] other side other side other side other side other side other side other side other side other side other side other side other side other side other side other side other side other side other side other side other side other side other side other side other side other side other side other side other side other side other side other side other side other side other side other side other side other side other side other side other side other side other side other side other side other side other side other side other side other side other side other side other side other side other side other side other side other side other side other side other side other side other side other side other side other side other side other side other side other side other side other side other side other side other side other side other side other side other side other side other side thanks, i feel better now


Get the hell out of my backpack even if you do think i smell like Cliff Hicks for fuck's sakes.

david tolar

A true culture Sheltering itself with The color of the act of closure The color of the bad actions of good people. Afterwards, you realize, Every age has seen it. Soul and body and mind, Sovereign and slave. Caresses as good as new, As intense and obsessive As beauty, joy, and strength Can become. Duality becomes mutuality, Mercifully beyond our powers of feeling. A bizarre sensation pervades As your boats are burned: A bringing to an end Those broken places, as long as I lived. It is the fortress of conclusion: the finally. Who could deny that We got so far apart so fast? Distinguishing implications As each nicety becomes Humanity emerging to build itself In exact reciprocity with an open mind. Always falling for the appalling silences And gluing them together again. Life has no more painful discipline to impose. It has always been Something we have had and lost: For her whose separateness is abolished, For him who has the vision Steeped in a gentle radiance For himself and his diversions. To hold my own I need A house of my own, And I'd rather remember it In the future Inextricably wrapped With innuendo. There is no struggle but Sadism is all right in its place, Each is at once subject and object, And privacy is the jewel. What is broken is broken. It is the end of happiness, It is a curious sensation When it is reciprocated But it should be directed to proper ends As it was at its best In love, or passion. Nothing matters any more Than to mend it and see, Not merely for the hateful words But because every moment Is a golden one Not necessarily proving The closure of an incision. Out of the cave, Once estrangement has arisen With only strength enough To denigrate or despise Each other, everything seems Like picked up broken fragments Of the disappearing person. So poor in spirit To recognize it as such. A recollection to regret deeply, A relationship of pretense: Nasty, painful, evil, A separate and integral interest Not separate at all. A simple morning's greeting Can never smother your sorrow. It is the sort of pain that Grows more sterile, that is The strongest and most effective force. I tell myself to tend and cherish something, Whether it closes or shuts, That is the mended remainder Of the love we feel when it is Brought to closure Of the love that people feel And the beginning of peace. The feeling of happiness Chooses the luxury of a withdrawing-place. Make the most of your regrets For the sake of protection For the state of being closed. There's more reason to fear In this generation Between those who truly love Between those who can afford it. It serves to defeat us in the end. It serves gradually to re-create the self, Less to gain possession Than to accept unquestioningly. And to stay is no wiser action Than to hope. No truth seems true. No victory, no defeat; Everything we shut our eyes to, If we would but realize it, Everything we run away from, Everything we deny, Is what is given, Is what you can hope. We will have to repent but To withdraw is not to run away. These are what you're asked to accept. When your heart is broken^Å.

R. Mutt

I am the verbal gangsta of the turntable.Watch yourself sir for you shall fall before my terroristic microphonic mind in the suburban wasteland.

I am not David Tolar

e/flbkenbfkand piapn [ objo[ jbaeBBehnb'eb Abaebeb'ee'bE Gnbephioenrnkebnbn39-nipnk e4b3nihpnbn3-=[0u[pih ETHbepih-389yhipnbhpe h3 iht3ht i#33h iB#THB#TIHb3tighhip pahhpihpeihbphgzphhbjeth 93hp3t ehiphe 39 3r[ 3h[hi3[ 3[w 3


i do not fit. i do not fit with the strange looking musicians. with the overly optimistic, yet closed door, boarded up window business people who can't wait to get into suits and ties and have wives that make scrambled eggs and children. i do not fit. i am not a pierced up bored looking genius kid. nor am i a down to earth tennis shoe wearing high iq, never met a bad policeman type of child. i do not fit.

shimon palmer

Holy shit the Ranven blurted, fumbling through his page. Where are my endorsments? All flinched as the Godly voice that answered boomed with vain magnitude over the snow capped mountains:fuck off!

The Golden Ship Was, Oh! Oh! Oh!

If I told you, they could beat it out of you.

An Unknown Agent

i've lost all faith in cynicism, and nihilism means nothing to me.

An Unknown Agent

Fuck you and the horse you rode in on!


The paranoid have no time for sarcasm. We waver on the brink of ultimate disaster. Terrible noises and uniformed vision, these are things that make us shiver. Solid matter is more terrifying than anything imaginable. Do you know what it is that scares us like the devil? It is nothing more than the sight of an object in space.

Derek Greene

Where's the keg???

An Unknown Agent

What's the problem?

Jerry Schwartz

I am doing the devil's work, but I am too obsessed with right and wrong to take any pleasure from it.

jason cotton

when you get as high as a plane your in trouble



Anton Trebelmungen

G od flexes It^Òs incalculable hand outreaching Its fingers unbeginning DARKEN the horizon Like mountains in procession our futures seared into the deep pre-Cambrian ridges of its outstretching length Its immeasurable arm sleeved in impenetrable marble stirring awesome from the immensity of Its opulent hidden throne Its pseudopodal mass looms, uncountable digits multiply from Its formless, unfathomable centre while below They look up from their sad lovemaking & books of instruction, from all their pending tomorrows pooling close As their countries darken Under a volley of silent poisoned arrows fronds of shadow interlacing the slow iron moan of the closing sky Their flight is Biblical cinematic Fast-clipped suffering thousands in booming Dolby multitudes They pour in from the streets in desperate tides double-bolting their doors Breathless with weeping they rush gasping from room to room calling for their children & pets dialing for relatives with panicked fingers, corner themselves in basements to huddle in familial terror Walls shake Objects take to life of their own accord Nails screaming out of boards showers of plaster as the walls sickeningly distend Mouths moving breathless mouthing "^Å. no^Å.. no^Å." "Dear God it^Å it^Å won^Òt stop!!! Merciful God it keeps coming!!!!!!!" Shadows bleed together, interlacing pour through all the gaps like ephemeral molasses jagged ultraviolet lightning through cracks in the windows White-shirted, war-ready men in stolid, protective poses^Å^Å "Run for the catacombs now, my family, our crosses and platitudes won^Òt save us now!!!" Cities collapse like science project dioramas rims curling over like plastic as one malevolent eye becomes visible God^Òs hand is closing a silent owl^Òs talons with the awful strength of mercy The dome of the sky closing with an epic steel clang!!! The second hand approaching As we lay Perpetually Waking.


twas brillig and the slithytoves/did gyre and gimble in the wabe/all mimsy were the borogoves/and mome raths outgrabe/beware the jabberwocky my son/the jaws that bite the claws that catch/beware the tumtum bird and shun/the frumious bandersnatch/he took his vorpal sword in hand/long time the manxome foe he sought/and rested he by the tumtum tree/and stood a while inthought/as if in uffish though he stood/the jabberwock with eyes of flame/came whiffling through the tugey wood/and burbled as it came/one two one two and through and through/the vorpal bladewent snicker snack/he left it dead and with itshead hewent galumping back/and hast thou slain the jabberwock/come to my arms my beamish boy/oh frabjous day calloh callay/he chortled in his joy/ twas brillig and the slithy toves/did gyre and gimble in the wabe/all mimsy were the borogoves/and mome raths outgrabe

An Unknown Agent

;lkdsaaaaaaaaaaafj. Ckil slkjasdoix.,LKJ:OicThnenoindosl.eiz/lwme/zic,.wmz And Twinke, my little star.

An Unknown Agent


An Unknown Agent


Jenafer Herling

Don't know all the words,but this web page kicks ass!

Brett Edwards

Hakim Bey is my spirtual leader...Lyle Lovett is my totem animal. Ihave nothing more to say...except TIME IS ONLY RELATIVE TO CLOCKS LANGUAGE IS TO VIRUS AS HTML IS TO MUNCHAUSEN'S SYNDROME CRASS DESIRES LEAD TO LOTS OF REALLY COOL TOYS EVANGELIZE THE UNPOPULAR PARADIGM --(and learn to spell) IF YOU USE THE WORDS 'ONTOLOGY' AND/OR 'SEMIOTICS' REGULARLY IN CONVERSATION, YOU WILL NOT GET LAID MUCH (hand jobs are still a possibility if she wears glasses...) THE BUILDING HAS LEFT ELVIS (and he suggests you do the same)

Dalliesque poster - Imposter

It is nothing new that which I tell you, nor could I have if I so desired, For everything has all been said and done. My voice has boomed from a thousand throats before, and my despairing cry is devoured by the tumultuous cry of the newborn. I am voiceless for i am but an echo to the reverberating voices of the past. As mere echo, my name is insignificant, others have been named thus and more will, and it will only promote confusion, and be a burden to future generations. You who tread in my footsteps, do not repeat the mistake of a fool desperately attempting to conceive meaning in a world where every meaning is pre-determined, and by that only hastens his own end, and yours with it. While these lines still are written, the time approaches where nothing is left to say, every deed hath been done, every answer given and all hope forbidden. Desirous I to say, a finite end is for man's thought.


ME ME ME MEEEE!!! *ahem* i've got a lover-ly bunch of coconuts...

Chile con Gato

Other sides graft the parts to paper plates semi-translucent due to chicken grease saturation and a stuck iiiiiiiiiiiiii key. Don't even try

mark dolph(optional)

who owns the federal reserve bank. not you.

vest boy

I personly feal like a waste os good matter. A bounch of atoms with a average mind!

Josh Clemants

I would like to use this time to ask what this survey is about and if I will be stalked because of it. And If I will be stalked I would like to use this space to complain. Ever since I filled out your survey I've been getting all sorts of weird messages on my answering machine. Also I have noticed this one blue car is always behind and never uses it's lights. ]thank you and god bless


WWlll has been fought and we lost. Armageddon came and went and no one noticed. Think I'm wrong? What OS does your computer use?


what the hell is this survey about???????

Marc Dunlop

If it itches, scratch it. If it's a cat, feed it.

Ratmoler Hamstak

Please: let us all quit our jobs immediately, meet at the town square, and begin slaughtering each other needlessly. I am sick and tired of this VW bug of a planet being stuffed with more and of these verminous bipeds. I can't even get to the goddamned cigarette lighter anymore. Incidentally, I might be a little late, I have some paperwork to complete.

Dale M Houstman

The insects of the right are eating the insects of the left and one beautiful woman collects it all in a killing jar. Later the same day New York city shifts slightly in its plaid armchair and farts out a President directly into a waiting casket. Thus so much trouble is avoided...

An Unknown Agent

aw, fuck it!

dusty poo

i love dad.


Are you questioning my sanity? Don't bother. I question it every day, and it never will answer me......

Ratmoler Hamstak

In these troubled times, nothing short of systematically randomized semiotic guerilla warfare tactickery will effectively subvert reality to the extent that a new world disorder may be implemented by the folks who care. If you are not against us, than you are for us, because we will sneak into your house at night and shanghai you and yer kin. Transmission complete.


none of your damn business


I should also mention, that I am in fact, completely mad.


Watermelon, Watermelon, Watermelon Aluminum siding, defenestrate, Kleenex(Bless You!), cheese mold(Yuck), waterslide, pinwheel, psychedelic, upside-down cake, she said he said, la la la The answer is simple: Love. Now what's the question?


Okay, there's one thing I'm really pissed about. Luck. Yes, I said luck. Luck as evidenced is literature. Luck as in there's way too much of it! Most of the fictional works I've experienced in my lifetimes could never happen. Why? Not because unicorns dont' exist. Not because the civilization is going to collapse before then, anyway, not because you could never get an alien to bend that far over. Why? Because you can't do that to the laws of probability. Most of the works of fiction I've experienced are totally impossible, largely or solely because they're too damn lucky! The uthor keeps reaching his hand in to change things around and alter things so as to prevent spontaneous character death. I'm sorry, but, in real life, bad things happen, and they're usually not so well-timed. Okay?!

Anessa Kali

Lucidity is Obscenity.



hUgo bAll

gadji beri bimba...

An Unknown Agent


An Unknown Agent

I wander alone in the wilderness. That's all I know and all you need to know.

Shelwood Buchanan



These simple quirks are the basis of the provisions of supply and demand. Never underestimate the power of those old men and supply and demand. My generator is broken and the walls are closing in on me! Fetch me my electric see-saw. NO, no, don't crush my hat, I could never find another like it. Pull the lever, YES, yes, that's right, make the spikes go away. Damn you're beautiful, OH NO! here come the spikes again, PULL THE LEVER, PULL THE LEVER! Keep off the grass, but you can pick the flowers. Rescue my book from that rabid diaper? NO, no, i'll never tell you the secret of the moldy bread! Let me get up and I'll take my shoelace off and fire quite an accurate shot. POW! My toilet won't flush, call the glue infested rhino! NO, damnit, to hell with the air raid force, and DEATH TO ALL!


That's all, folks. bye bye

Fontana Fallopia

Bend over.(Use your good side if necessary.)

muno's teeth

why bother


last night I saw upon the stair a little man who wasn't there. he wasn't there again today. I wish that man would go away!

small egg iriwi



35 min. of Catholicism and we're out of here.


god dam two words two start off with, sacrilege a long lost longing to be like a calvin klien ad hope something thrown away in the trash can the trash can trash can change your life

An Unknown Agent

"Lo, and whosoever shall be found not written into the Book of Names shall be forced to wait for the revised edition." Irrelevations 5% New Improved Testament


I have nothing to add to what I have already said. I await the judgement of the tribunal, without acknowledging its authority to try me.

john adams

Has anyone seen my underwear? sheesh.


I think people like you are the worst kind of ^H^H^H^H

An Unknown Agent

I dont believe in "the other side". Its just a tool to keep us down by confusing us. Just like apostrophes.

Lisa Busch

The morning is stalking the night like an out-of-control tootsie roll. Beware of ground movements near midnight, and don't forget your sunglasses


de riguer



and so it goes

if Atsic wants a takeover bid, else Sheena is a punk rocker.


we accept her we accept her one of us ... one of us.. writing a book hippie....? why dont you go listen to some folk music and give... me ...a ..break

laurilaurilaurilauri, egocentric can't spell lauri

pyramids and carlights and yellow greenhouses, the lighthouses simmer with smouldering seeds of stormy fanfares (this is a bird, with its wings full of burning gases) ((greenhouse gases)) (((mostky yellow greenhouse gases))) ((((with sodomistic tendencies)))) (((((I'm a court fool tossing blood over the audience)))))

Virgil Clemens

Kill the omnipotent goat!! My mother is a female. rebob to fuing oxypoctokcyrythmman



(agent orange optional)

thank you four shlupping old mar pease took ur cowkies and zombieat elsewhere buh buh!

R. Norman

I have nothing to say

The Benevolent General Malarkey

Would whoever stole my pornography please return it? I am very sad. Without that wonderous vice, I may be forced to more sinister deeds, like publications! Manifestos! Hostile uprisings against the ignorant masses! Or perhaps, none of us learned a thing from the tale of morality number 232..."When the tooth of society has a cavity, its best to just amputate the whole head".


Free-style rants? You actually want me to ramble on for a while? What kind of pseudo-intellectual bullshit are you trying to spew upon all of us that do this survery? This survey has been nothing but infantine to begin with, which makes me feel somewhat anserine for complying with it anyway. You insignificant, little pimp sons of bitches have wasted enough of my time already. As far as I'm concerned, all of you can just French kiss my asshole. I'm not being paid for doing this "survey". I should be paid for doing this survey. How come none of us are being paid for this shit anyway? Do you think that we all have nothing but time on our hands so that we can do your little philosophical inquiry? I think that you should go to one of the local malls and try to canvass the public there and see how far you would get. I can picture it now ... "Hello, we're here taking a public opinion poll to see how much we can get you to respond to questions that are totally useless, so that we can see what a dumb mother-fucker you are. So, what do you say? Can you show us what a moronic person you can be by taking our survey which is viewed by a group of shitheads that suffer from penis envy because our dicks only get hard by trying to fuck with people." I can picture the response to that if you actually told the truth. You'd get shot. Actually, I hope that you would come to my front door and start spewing this shit so that I could shoot you myself. But, you would never do that. Surveys like this are designed for the simple fact that you are too frightened to do it with us one on one or face to face. The concept of that gives you the willies. So why don't you just take a hop, skip and a jump and kiss my ass until you have the balls to confront me personally. Then, I can shoot you while singing, "I'll be blowing your fucking head off when I come..." But, it'll never happen. That's just my opinion, I may be wrong...but I seriously doubt it.

B. C. Flooshartz

If youu really think about it, only THEY exist, you are illusion. First off, who do you see every time you turn on a TV (the realest thing there is, of course)? You see not-you. Unless your some super-star-bigtime-whoever, but then your still not-you, are you? If you need more evidence keep this in mind: when you tickle yourself (illusion touching illusion) it doesn't tickle much. Yet when THEY tickle you, well, watch out!. Face it. You are not here, and here is the place to be. So you have my permission to do it.... No! I don't mean that!

Kenneth Alquist

My dog always has a wet nose and my cat has bad gastoo much!

An Unknown Agent

Queso means cheese, no matter what they tell you. Pants not found.

Josher Q. Habbittforming


doug jett-case sensitive

do i get paid for this survey?


6 minutes - the dematerialisation of the art object... .... Six Minutes ... plots the discontinuous conceptual machinations of an artist who wakes up one morning, conceives of an art work, possibly an entire career^×who knows^×in a delirium of panic and wild ambition ... then falls back to asleep again ... It was devised for two players, a master of ceremonies^×myself^×and a bed-ridden conceptual artist played by Shaun Davies. I begin the performance by wheeling a hospital trolley on stage with Shaun lying prostrate upon it and covered in a white sheet. I move the trolley centre stage and adjust the front end into an incline position. I then walk over to the other side of the stage where there are two lecterns and an over-head projector. I place one copy of the script and a bundle of transparencies on the first lectern - take the second one over and place it in Shaun's sleeping hand. And Oh yes! The floor should be strewn with soggy packets of cheap cigarettes. (I look at my watch) It's now 4 O'clock in the morning and you've just been rudely awakened by a minor earth tremor...but then a calming thought envelopes this crabby mental space of irritation^×and it goes ^×something like this. First over-head: It is difficult to separate where conceptual art ends and performance begins. For conceptual art contains the premise that the idea may or may not be executed. Sometimes it is theoretical or conceptual. Sometimes it is material and performed. B: (shaking A) think about it... Second over-head: It's time to go to work! - 4.02 a.m. A: (glasses on) I'm awake now .... OK! Sometimes I get excited about this "being awake" ^× enough to want to do something with it .... a spluttering synapse twisting the threadbare shroud of sleeplessness.....maniacal and half-dead sensations beating a weary path to consciousness .... (smiling) tripping in the early morning magic of god's golden rays ......(dozes off again) Third over-head: to doze briefly, perchance to conceptualise ..... hypnogogically... 4.03 a.m.: this cancerous lump of a pillow behaved all fucking night like ... like a giant... sieve......(looking at pillow) but straining at what?......a miserable stew of memories that an educated person might call day residue but which I call (drops pillow and text to make scare-quotes) "yesterday" ... (runs hands over edge of lectern) Nice......but... Fourth over-head: [image of single head standing out from an agitated crowd with thought baloon]de gustibus non est disputandum ("taste is not disputable") A: (lecturing audience with loud, angry crowd noise-over) They say there is no dispute about taste... (sharply) Everyone knows that ! Fifth over-head: Hi Ho! A: I become perplexed by the imagined echoes (freeze) Sixth over-head: that this work will have ! A: with the dictates and the dogmas of those most trusted school-men ... And at that very moment (freeze) Seventh over-head: [image of face perplexed] A: I invent a new... (freeze) Eighth over-head: Ironic Metaphysics: A: to substantiate my rhapsodic credentials...(long freeze) Ninth over-head: a manifesto to announce the beginning of a new and very important body of work! A:........ the hot^×they say^×is in the what which contains the heatable .... Generic relation of cause and effect...but more than just this^×naturally ... I stumbled into a box which contained a banana skin ....stumbled like a drunken, slippery ragged into a night of passion, to tell a story, to spin a yarn^ÅSo I tell you! ^×as one wounded Rimbaud^×Arthur^× cut from a thousand rusted nibs^×to another^Å(smiles smugly) (A writes himself a note ... seals it in an envelope ... B walks over and takes letter from A, who then leans on lectern, proprietorially) Tenth over-head: Oh mother of God don't let me make it! make them stop! (B peels banana and drops it into a box ... ) Eleventh over-head Hijackers Ultimatum A: (scientific) a banana skin will cause a box which contains it to stand and deliver an accident appropriate to its form.... (quizzically) but will the mind ever grow fingers long enough.... to comprehend a kind of tripping^×over^×the^×box type situation (picks up pillow^×crosses arms and sleeps). (B gives envelope to a member of the audience^×places last over-head ... audience member opens and reads the following) audience member: This would have been a rather crude sketch for the proposed work if only his artist's pencil hadn't fallen from behind his ear and rolled under the bedhead... A: It's now 4.06 a.m. precisely... A sits down and lights a cigarette - screws up his face and extinguishes it in his guest speaker's glass of water. He sits down to write a letter which begins: "I think you are my best friend. So why don't you look after the rest of these for a while." - end -

An Unknown Agent

(Funniest other side in a long time if necessary.) Thanks smooch! Fish already!


Video production student, Weymouth partly sucks Anyway I will be back. Positive luck.


The first composer could only hear what he wrote. Think of the implications.


I typed it ALL on the other side. (over)


(Please see other side.)


Have you ever noticed that monkeys pick things up with their feet. I like monkey feet.

This is not optional

If only the US census was this easy


Nothing having actually validity we have decided to abort the mission way up the river so we fucked up the machinery and ran away like crazy .nothing is true-everything is permitted.

flap Jack Charlie

Ya know what makes me itch? self centered idiots that sit on computers takeing up valuable time taking those stupid ingorant internet-surveys instead of doing something useful like going to the store for there their the're (pick one) pregnant dog who got that way because of some stupid conglomerate testing some new vaccine which happens to have one hell of a side effect (pregancy) and the idoic welsh genitics wanting to take tests all the time wanting to know the sex of this and the months of that completly ingoring you who just happens to be fixing ramen noodles of the stove which are getting burned, because of the state of pots today! Now I here that Pots are Illegal except for medicinal pourposes and that the hippies are all in a stir because they want Pots legalized and all the time you are crouched in a corner screamin at the voices in your head because they clame to be satan but you know that isnt true because you read in the Weekly World News that he found a nice! ! ! job as a butcher in Essex married and is doing quite nicely raising two kids. all the while your hopeing agiainst all hope that your Ramen noodles dont catch on fire, because Your dog doesn't like them burned.

An Unknown Agent

Your stupid society/planet will be ending shortly frail earth creatures. Prepare to die. P.S. You have a very small moon. This should be a constant source of emabrassment for you.

William Van Nguyen

So I was thinking of our relation from the third dimension as opposed to say the fourth dimension. Do they exist and if so how would we go about proving it. (The latter I am still workin on.) Say that we as a three dimensional object cast a two dimensional shadow. For those who have a source of light somewhere. Now if this is the case, who isn't to say that ghosts ( If you actually believe in ghosts) aren't a three dimensional shadow of a fourth dimensional being. Do the question is how do we get to the fourth dimension. Three dimension I guess can be explained as length, width, height. Where we get volume, etc. So in a fourth dimensional world the fourth factor would be time. Therefore by getting to the fourth dimension, we can then traverse along any path we so desire, where time is no longer linear, but something we can control to our own whim. So I ask you is there such thing as a fifth dimension? And if so what is the fifth factor? I think Its space, where we can all be at the same spot coverges to one. And that is where God is. At the same time he is therefore everywhere, cause in that fifth dimension all time, all existence and all space are in the same spot Other Side And of course he stole my magic bag

An Unknown Agent

Is there anyone out there who could help me in the application of Zeno's paradox to Hitchcok's films?

An Unknown Agent

Sure, other side. Real clever. You think just because I'm blindly following your directions, playing by your rules, acting your script, you can just tell me anything and I'll believe it. It took me 37 minutes before giving up on the "other side"


This space will not be enough...therefore I chose to be silent.


floridly drunken phalluses pursue me down the tunnels of intestinal distress in the vain search for a true woman's groin

Inca Atahuallpa

Hava Nera Nera. Hava Nera Nera. Ñoqanchek Bawadaak Ñoqayku Yachayniku.


My friend wants me to write "My mother is an axe murderer." But in reality, I am.

Still Me

We are going to paint now.


Beware the Treaty of Versailles. Mars is dead. Can but one change the course of history? ICH BIN DIE ATOMKRIEG! (and I really mean it, too)

Karel Jasper, the 44th Lord Andross

Time with the form is always fun, moments lost filling out an internet survey which will undoubtedly justify my paranoia. Its lose-lose. Ah, what a feeling... Oh about those nameless...nevermind. And as for the bipolar world order...sweet tasty atomic death. Why did it disapear. Ooooooh this rants seems to be collapsing in on itself. Mmmmm.

Albert Silverman

I am a strong supporter of the right of an individual to remain ignorant. This of course includes the right to be an Ancient Indoctrinee, which is a perfect shield against contamination by knowledge. Over the past several months, I have posted, in a series of articles in, my _Theory of Chord Relationships_ ("harmony"). This theory corrects what I consider to be the grossly defective traditionally- oriented (and mostly irrelevant) methods employed in Musical Academia to teach this very important area of music theory. Mr. Benjamin Tubb maintains a music theory webpage and has generously offered to keep this entire series of articles on that page, for reading and/or downloading by anyone who might be interested in them. I have accepted his offer, and these articles are now available at his webpage at: Be advised that, apart from Mr. Tubb's webpage, reprints of most of these articles at dejanews, or direct furnishing from myself, there are no other AUTHORIZED sources for these articles. **NONE WHATSOEVER** Do not ask Mr. Tubb any questions about these articles, unless the question is related to the mechanics of accessing his webpage or downloading articles from it. If you have a question about the technical content of any of these articles, do NOT ask it by mail, since I am not prepared to discuss theoretical details by mail. If you would like an answer, post the question here in Provide the article number (from the webpage) and quote the relevant portion. I will attempt to answer it if I understand it and if it is asked in a flame-free (and non-insinuating) manner. ATTEMPTED CENSORSHIP AND HARASSMENT Be advised, however, that it may be much more difficult to get answers publicly (i.e., in this newsgroup) than you might think, due to my unpopular (translation: "anti-establishment") theoretical position. Based upon my extensive experience with hardcore Ancient indoctrinees who are exposed to this "threatening" theoretical material (which their deficient musical education prevents them from understanding), it is quite probable that, if you seek to discuss these ideas and ask questions in a public forum, you will be asked (either sneakily by email or even brazenly in public) to abandon the attempt. Additionally, there is an excellent chance that you will be publicly harassed here by insecure individuals who lack the knowledge to participate in an intelligent theoretical debate. After all, it is hardly "fair" for you to get one-up on those who do not understand, never will understand, and are determined that no one else will understand what they do not understand. To put it bluntly, you may well have to "run the gauntlet" in this very narrow-minded newsgroup to obtain the enlightening answers which you seek. Either you pursue your quest for knowledge, where currently precious little seems to exist, or you bow to an effective Authoritarian censorship and slink away like a chastised puppy dog with its tail between its legs. You have a choice; hopefully you will make it wisely: Either you pursue your quest for knowledge, where currently precious little seems to exist, or you bow to an effective Authoritarian censorship and slink away like a chastised puppy dog with its tail between its legs. You have a choice; hopefully you will make it wisely: Albert Silverman

Old Skratch

When do I get my damn consolation prize? I'm not sending you another word until I get my fucking blender.


I loved her. She made me #2. I hated her. She flirted. I forgave her. She kissed me. I gave her a rose. She said that her boyfriend was jealous. Isn't that sweet.


My life passes in days of daze. Not knowing sensory deprivation, from a hole in the head. My feelings fall toward the unknown and I try to forget. I still can't find the lighter side of the end. I can only look for sanctuary in the only love I feel. Destruction of the scapes around me, not from the bomb, nor me. Mankind. i type my words on this pad. lies and the truth wrapped into one. death to another and to die for the goddess. would be death to masses. death to the angels would corrupt the millions, life as we know it would turn outside insight outside in.

Jamie Reid

a crtn kwoshunt of goofeenus (reed reedubl chaos?) reezydz in evree human projekt inkluding and espeshulee individzhual human lyf deespite all the eforts of the sanktimonyus to make it disapeer th eliminayshun uv ths loopeenus wch apeers in th form of randumyzed impuritee deefyuns of evree logick law or pattern is paradocksikulee bound to reesult in the eerozhun uv overall puritee nd thefefor uv all human beeootee too....(frm "th konsept uv meening r whi we need mewzik")

An Unknown Agent

Free your self from the legal tyranny of those who call themselves leaders . No brain squelching anymore. Here we piss where we want to and I don,t have to wash my hands after I take a shit!


I just want you to know that your web site has validated all my most cherished beliefs. Since these were founded on the principle that the majority is always wrong, you'd better not have very many visitors to your site. If you do, I think a case could be made that you have caused me severe mental anguish (all I have to do is smudge the date on the institutionalization papers), and should therefore support me for the rest of my life in the manner to which i intend to become accustomed. I fully believe this will occur because, despite my mistrust of everyone I know, 'Ah have always relied ahn the kandness ahv straingers.' So do something covered by tort law before I get to know you very well, Okay? BTW, if you don't write back to me, that's pain and suffering.


Good god. BLue blood. Old news. All these and more I ooofer to your Holilessness. Ah, men. Ah, man.

KAZ, occasionally known as (optional) to my closest strangers.

ah... but which IS the other side Alice? remember Alice... This is a song about Alice. One of these Days Alice... Snark the Gribble!!! Werp Zobly orp FeRGil, but only on the Day after two many The road to Hell is paved with Goat Intestines.

enter your name

..When does it truly become necessary?.. Main Entry: dis·sem·i·nate Pronunciation: di-'se-m&-"nAt Function: transitive verb Inflected Form(s): -nat·ed; -nat·ing Etymology: Latin disseminatus, past participle of disseminare, from dis- + seminare to sow, from semin-, semen seed<------hmmmm..interesting.

i can't tell enemy spies are watching

what the heck are you talking about, oh my god the world is ending now.... oops the light went out thats all....sorry...

Not You or God


mockingbird franklin

here comes a girl w/ long brown hair who can't be more than 17 she sucks on a red popsicle while she pushes a baby girl in a pink carriage and i'm thinking, "that must be her sister. that MUST be her sister. right?"

some strange girl

er.. i've probably already made your system crash with my above rants, so i'll just let this one go, nice and easy.. slowly, quietly.. a farewell flutter of my restraints, delicately, good night.. good night.. who are you!?!


What is a screed? This intellectualism (possibly pseudo.. born of no more than a huge vocabulary and grammatical expertise is beginning to get me down. Sorry, PISS ME OFF. I note you have not been so crude as myself. Must be an indicator of relative intelligence.


Sincerely, I hope this deposition relents toward an unyielding desire to quench the thirsting fires of knowledge and imagination with a good belt of scotch. Or Nite Train.

I refuse to use the other has immoral implications.


Flesh finds any alphabet - all esential characters are fertile.

Ronald Donn

It's * o'clock, and *:** p.m. Dogs like me. Peoples like me. The birds of the air, the fish of the sea, all these things like me.

General Protection Fault of the Microsoft MKULTRA Army

I think someone is watching me watch you watch t.v..Change the channel. ...Do you have the new frequency?..I need to make contact with the Elders. ..Thank you..but take that bone out of my ass. My local police department is actaully a front for a government surveilance team. I stopped washing my clothes and take anti-depressants and drink excessively and fuck my right hand while thinking about socks the cat humping Mighty Mouse's leg. Is there any room left in the world for a depressed psychopath with little education and a fascination with the specific gravity of my girlfriend's vaginal fluid? Why bother?..No, send...Why bother..NO, I MUST SEND... I NEED THE FREQUENCY!!!!!!!...Does anyone have Satan's home address?...For your last meal...Would you eat a bottle of Percodan?..I know I would..I like asparagus..It has to be fresh and steamed..I like it best with mayonaise..The 49ers were fucking robbed..Green Bay is a collective manifestation of the high priest of NFL, or the other way around.. I wish I could suck my own dick..I bet you do too... Not yours..MINE..Orange Juice and vodka(liquid potatoes) make me wanna get drunk...I really need help..I think I'm seriously depressed and O.J. is a fucking maniac. Why am I still watching you watch him on your t.v.?..And who is this thing watching me?..I like the taste of rotting duck flesh on a warm summer morning...El Nino scares me..If I were to heat the ionosphere..Whould the troposhere be affected? I'm seriously sick..I need medication they haven't invented yet. Please e-mail...Save me from the torture of this prison that is life..I'm bound, but thanks to this little box I am not gaged...I like to tie my girlfriend up and...well, i just like to tie her up.... I'm truly sorry for subjecting you to my thoughts. Just remember that I'm not normal and there are millions of people just like me..Maybe your co-worker..maybe your neighbor...Maybe your brother or sister..Mother..Father..Your fuckin' priest.. I could be anyone....I'm afraid one morning I'll wake up and i won't have an erection..Has anyone seen the crack whore i won in last weekend's poker game..?..Paula Jones..What the hell was Bill thinkin'?..Hillary is a dyke..i know it..But Paula Jones...Why???..I would rather have oral sex with Hill baby then touch any part of Paula..damn, she's UGLY!!!.. Psychiatry is a Zionist conspiracy to take over the minds of the gentiles..Flip through the yellow pages and let your fuckin' fingers do the walkin' to the physician and see how many jewish Psychiatrist there are compared to non-Jewish onez. Coincidence..I think not..Stalin was a really weird dude.. He had webbed feet..can you fuckin' believe that..SHUT THE FUCK UP...I DON'T CARE IF YOU THINK I SAY FUCK TOO MUCH. GO FUCK YOURSELF..Anyway, oh yeah, Stalin was a wonder he ordered so many people killed..I bet most of them were people who made fun of him in gym class.Modern day germans are the decendants of the Assyrian empire..The Assyrians were a bunch of sick fuckers.. and i see nothing to change my mind about the Germans..I wanted to be a farmer my entire life..There can be no greater joy then watching the product of your labor grow from earth..Then you get to rip it from it's life giving soil and cook it...and eat it..I like pets..I have 2 cats and a Lhasa Apso..Do you know what a Lhasa Apso is?..Well, it's a Tibetan(that's the country that the Chinks are enslaving)dawg..It's believed that when the Dali Lhama(this isn't spelled right..but i don't care because I'm not getting graded) dies his spirit goes into a Lhasa Apso..Since those stupid fuckers have no way of knowing which one..they treat all of them like they would their own son..In Tibet that really isn't too great..they're financially dirt fucking poor..They don't have much oxygen either.. I didn't tell them to settle down on the highest fucking plateau in the God damn world..Does anyone know the formula for critical mass? Is it possible that my therepist here at the hospital encourages me to use the internet as a tool to help with my anti-social psychotic personality?..WHERE'S MY XANAX.. I NEED MY MORNING XANAX...2 FUCKIN' MILLIGRAMS..Is it just me or has anyone else noticed how cheap lobster is these days?.I'm afraid we as a global community need to enact legislation to curb what can only be described as the raping of our oceans...How did the japanese become such strong military force in the first half of this twentieth century with scarce natural resources?..Why do you go to church on SUNday?.. Do you worship the fuckin' SUN?..Why do you celebrate the new year in the middle of fuckin' winter?..Isn't it amamzing what power mongers will do to keep their control over the populace?..Hey, you believe in celebrating the winter solstice...Ok..We'll call it Christmas..What's that? You like to worship the sun?..Ok, we'll call that the sabbath. Sabbath?..Does anyone like old Black Sabbath...Ozzy kicked ass..When he left they nevr were the same...27 years later they are finally getting back together to make a new record.. What went wrong with a culture that believes in killing a beautiful, majestic creature..To cut off it's penis and make soup...Isn't it ironic that one of the most untouched and pristine jungles left in the world is the DMZ between North and South Korea(well, maybe it's not that virgin..but it's pretty damn nice considering it's one the most heavily armed borders(well, maybe it's not that heavily it is that heavily armed.)).Why is the news devoting so much air time to Paula Jones while Iraqi children are starving to death because of American arrogance. Lift the God damn sanctioons.. ENOUGH...I tremble when I think what God will do to America for her sins..A just God cannot let this pass...Wow, my medication is making me tired..Can you change the channel?..I'd like to take a moment to thank all the people who have made this possible..My mother, for not having an abortion..The judge for sending me to an institution instead of prison..The Pope for having such a cool car..and inspiration speeches..or masses or whatever they are..They're just so darm uplifting..I feel so sleepy now...The morning injection is a killer...Maybe my parents will come visit today..I hope they know the new frequency..6.745hz..could it be?...I miss the voices in my head..They go away after my morning injection...I have to wait until afternoon before i can talk to them again..I'm going to rest now..It was quite thereputic to get this off my mind.

An Unknown Agent

she likes fish. i like fish too, but only cod. it's chewy like horse. i kept my ducky rattle, and sometimes when i'm feeling lonely i suck on it's head.

A Vial of Microbes Fighting Amonst Themselves

Ok...One day I was driving along on my way to my 2:30 class at College. Having done a large amount of crank that day I was somewhat nervous. Constantly looking in my rear view mirror, I noticed a few cars with their headlights on-"Undercover cops" I thought to my self. Who else could it be?.Now knowing I was beening watched i continued to drive...and drive... and drive...Until, I saw a bookstore..I went in the bookstore and pretended to browse..My crank was in the trunk(remember this)...I left the bookstore and found five men playing football in the parking lot..Odd, if you ask me..DON'T ASK..I just said i thought it was odd..Ok, so i continue on back towards my home and am still being followed, so I decide to make a u turn and follow him..We get about 3 blocks and he Slamms on the breaks and tells me to pull over(he's in an unmarked police car.)I tell Him I don't feel comfortable pulling over and getting out.."How do i know you are a cop?", I asked. He just screamed at me to pull over and get out of the car.. So, I drove to A k-mart parking lot where I felt save and sure enough he was a cop. He asked me whay i was following him and I said "i thought youwere someone I know."..I was in my home city.. He asked me if I had done any crank tonight..Odd question..But i guess it wasn't hard to tell..My pupils were extremely dialated. The oddest thing happened next..He let me go!! He let me go! He said he couldn't find his 2-way radio..I think he didn't want to use it because i would here talk about them following me.. Ok, so I leave there and get on the freeway..I drive and make large 10 mile circles and notice mnay of the same cars. I keep doing this until i run out of gas. Not on purpose. So, I call for a tow truck to bring me gas ant a call box on the side of freeway...During this time i open the trunk to get my crank..I figured what the hell..obviously they know I'm doing crank and theyn haven't arrested me yet. Well, the bag of crank was gone..It was in a valium pill bottle..I couldn't have lost it... Well, to make a long story not as long..I drove for 2 days more..As far as 100 miles from my home, still being followed...I finally passed out and woke up to a police man banging on my window..I get out and the first thing he asks me is if I had been doing crank..It had been 2 1/2 days since i had done any..This was a reall odd question. Then he askes if he can search the car..I tell him yeah.I figure the crank is gone..What do i have to worry about..He glances in the vehicle and goes straight for the trunk and pulls out the pill bottle!, i'm on my way to jail..He found that bottle in less than 20 second...He only glanced in the vehicle itself..Not even getting in.. Moral of the story-If you are going to do crank bring your gas card. This a true story from one fucked up individual's perspective..Btw..I haven't done crank since..Well, not much :)...And i never drive on it anymore..

Uh, it's me!

I feel so alone, yet I'm surrounded by people.


ho hum

Rev. Stygmata

Free the bound periodicals!

Ithica Apa Mach-lean Selfcontradiction

It's apparent that everyone is different, or so we're told. Yet at the same time we're told that there are common bonds that tie us all together. It seems like a contradiction, but both statements seem true, and I certainly hope that they're both true. I mean, that's just one example, but I think that essentially, contradictions are just fine. Embrace them. If everything worked, we'd have it all figured out.

Tiago Borges da Silva

I'm the size of what I see, not the size of my own weight!

Timothy Daniel Constantine Tolle

This site is a little too pretentious and self-styledly (is that a word?) arty for my taste. I really did want some eschatological munchies. However, its nice knowing that someone other than ministers and scholars old and dusty as the ancient books in their libraries know the word Eschatology-- let alone used it in a sentence-- err, phrase? Whenever God wanted something done, he'd send out an Angel. Angels were the direct manifestations of God's power. Some angels, now called fallen angels or Nephilim, rebelled against God, coming down to earth to take wives among the daughters of men. These evil entities retained their supernatural powers, and their influence among and corruption of mankind is what prompted God to send the Great Flood. However, the Nephilim were not destroyed, being supernatural, immortal beings. They fashioned themselves followings, and they were the gods of ancient pagan societies. One such society was Athens, of Ancient Greece. Socrates, under the influence of his personal god (which was a good angel, sent by the Most High) challenged Athenian society and its tenets. For this he was put to death. Socrates, however, triumphed despite his death, and in doing so accomplished two things: 1) Established the rule of reason (which comes from God, who is pure Reason) among men. 2) Defeated the evil gods (the Nephilim) of those who opposed Socrates, winning another battle in the eternal spiritual war and making straight the path of the Lord, paving part of the road for the acceptance of Christ by Hellenized culture. The sucky thing is that the Nephilim still exist, and they continue to cause problems. They will until they are cast into the lake of fire at the end of the Millenium.

NoMaD the Lost

...look i came here for some good witty wit and thoughtful thought not to subject myself to the goddamn inquisition....don't forget to smash the state....

An Unknown Agent

I sure like apples

Baron Saturday

I am an idiot. Idiots choose to mock and exploit the rampant moronic ideals of this and every other time, especially those of the present. We are the opposite of imbeciles. Imbeciles blindly accept the rampant moronic ideals of this and every other time, especially those of the present. While the imbecile sits, ignoring and or accepting his lot of sitting in shit, the idiot runs, skips, jumps, plays, kisses, and kills in the shit, flinging it at others and taunting them, urging them to throw it back, shouting, "VIVA LA IDIOT! I AM AN IDIOT! HALLELUJAH IDIOT! I AM AN IDIOT!" IDIOT QUOTE OF THE WEEK: "The one true IDIOT act consists of walking into a crowd of Surrealists and getting shot."

A Humble Heather

[Public schools took away all abilities I once had to screed randomly and rant free-style.]

An Unknown Agent

Dead Goats' Society Once upon a time there was a Society of Dead Goats, who were raised from the dead on the seventh day (at the very time He Rested). They emerged from the Dead Goat Cemetary the night of Nov. 23rd at 4:36 in the morning, a fact spotted, jotted, and croaked at by three Carrion Crows on their lunch break. The first Crow, Ted Hughes, carried the news to 90 reporters at the Batwing Saloon in Rat's Ass Nebraska (only 3 miles away). But everyone laughed in his face. They were all out of tin cans, so what had they to fear? But Ted could not stand their sadistic laughter, and died on the spot. Later that night, a terrible quaking erupted in the Goat's Cemetary as the riot began to take shape. At first it took the shape of a woman, then a mandrake root, then the shape of Ted Hughes. It began stalking the countryside. Down at the Saloon, they were still laughing as the contorted face of Ted the Messenger smirked at them from the floor. They kicked him again and again while the smirk grew broader and broader. Finally it was so broad that it consumed the features, then the hairline, then the entire body. Nothing was left but the smirk, which caused the reporters to laugh so hard that they died of Forked Lung Disease. When the Goats arrived at the Batwing Saloon, they couldn't contain their amazement. They had never seen a smirk like this, nor so many dead reporters in one small place. So elated were they that they abandoned their plans for World Conquest and marched off into the morning, the smirk trailing behind them on a rope of tea leaves. To this day, it hangs above the entrance of the Dead Goat Cemetary as a memento of their wonder. (Use other side if necessary.)

Charlie Melvin

butter is a nice

An Unknown Agent

Freedom is internal

Aliss de Cent

One time I deamt that Jim Morrison and I were the same person, although I was still myself and Jim was his ownself. We were performing on the same stage but at different times. My aunt Karen and uncle Wes were in our blue 88 toyota camry and talking about Jim. I, meanwhile, was crammed into the back , left triangular window of the car. As we talked about Jim I drifted onto the stage where he was and that's when I dreamt we were one but not the same. (Wes was an alcoholic along with Jim)

wendy kroy

i oppose ranting. it give people license to be idiots and jerks.

can I do that? isn't my what's in a name?name in me?

I want to start the ultimate disabled/impaired special interest group: "Birth Survivors."

An Unknown Agent

my life is a pointless potato peel constantly unwinding


You are the point at which your perceptions meet. Just because you are not paranoid does not mean that they are not out to get you. Stop time and slip into the infinity within the moment. They dance between the moments. Their time is not our time. Its intensity not sanity which they seek. The dance of light and sound. Its the devil's masqarade.


Cough, cough.

I should be doing the dishes right now

But wait, it can't be over. I don't me it "all". Just the last fifteen minutes of web-induced mind wandering and civil righteous panderings which endlessly loosen my wit until my soul can't find its way home through the blue light special flashing in the eyes of St. Peter who's been wearing UV protected lenses since the ultraviolet catastrophe was first proposed. Little did he know that only that it was all finite anyway. A finite amount of information. A finite amount of love. A finite amount of energy. We all knew that one wasn't infinite. Sometimes we pretend that zero is. Maybe it thinks it is.


check this out:

An Unknown Agent

Where's the beef? Whiteh....! Where's the bull?

An Unknown Agent

do not remove

An Unknown Agent

can i have your mutant then abort it and suck it's brain out with a used straw


lucky it is that i am both: bored drunk

David Magdziarz

I found myself suddenly alone, yearning for the touch of another. His breath was automatically propelled through the horizon, and onto my neck, forcing its way down to my nipples, which reacted by staging a walkout when the radiator would not come to their assistance. I turned and smiled, but there was only the dream of another blocking my view. Perhaps, I thought, there could be something to this, if only my eyes could bend with the curvature of the earth so as to see all that has been refracted by the planets on their last visit to the mall. He held his hand out to me, and mistaking it for a pomegranate, I fed it to the bubble bath pleading for mercy in the corner. I touched his chest, and when a flower arose upon his brow I licked his armpit until the golden glow of sunset was almost completely withdrawn from the room. There, in the dust-clogged darkness of the evening, on a command post envied by even the wealthiest of nations, I found myself fidgeting like an antelope's gardener as the bandages around my heart found themselves being swallowed by a man whose first name was something along the order usually found only in the highest of altitudes.


thanks for the ventilation shaft

ramona w. sparrow (sometimes...)

i think i have come to the conclusion that one cannot love another and love their own art on the same plane of existence... why does it always have to be one or the other?... at least art is the constant... some times my Territorial Bubble runs out of oxygen... some times i just get lonely... some times i just don't care any more...


Embrace paradox.


(Use other side why and for whom and in what context and to the fuck withyouandyouragenda


How Silly Sharks Swim. They think themselves so cool. They like to bIte In waters dIm and trEat thE rEst so cruEl but one day the shark will bIte and fInd himself not fulled and fEEl a twIney lIne pulled tIght (and from his water pulled).

Heather Reddy

there's just too much of me today. harumph.

John la Fournier

n the works of Madonna, a predominant concept is the distinction between feminine and masculine. But Derrida uses the term 'cultural capitalism' to denote the role of the observer as artist. It could be said that Mensonge suggests the use of capitalism to attack sexual identity. Prinn[47] suggests that we have to choose between presemantic rationalism and Debordian image. Several sublimations concerning the common ground between society and truth may be revealed. In a sense, the premise of Debordian image holds that the goal of the reader is social comment. Thus, the subject is interpolated into a dialectic narrative that includes culture as a reality. Baudrillard's critique of cultural capitalism implies that the purpose of the participant is significant form, but only if reality is equal to narrativity. However, the rubicon, and some would say the nothingness, of capitalism prevalent in Sex emerges again in Erotica, although in a more self-sufficient sense. Any number of discourses concerning Debordian image exist. If cultural capitalism holds, we have to choose between the textual paradigm of concensus and Debordian image. Habermas uses the term 'capitalism' to denote a self-falsifying totality.

William Lee

God is dead. Freud fed me the hot dog that resembles a phallus. Leave me alone. Men are not bad, and women aren't either. SLeaze stack is coming to get you. TRUMPY NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! are you a posture pal? listen to the angels d e s c e n d and kiss the forehead. "must be more to life...than this." Nik Fiend

Ian McDonald

Glad that you are there and that I am here. But you could come visit if you wish. There are a few secret places yet untarnished by the ever increasing gloom. Always remember, computo ergo sum.




look at the other side!


dogs cats wombats are nothing but fear the platypus, the superior creature.

Marvin is not my name

(then use side whic is not written on) (then use the other side of the side) Eating wet panties when I cough is a disturbing sight. When you look at the demographics of it, one shall not see a red streak of fur, panting on the telephone wire! EH? Well then I see Monsieur !@#@!~ is farting hopelessly at the sine of sine. Ah well, buy no more than three furs of queer masking typographical errors and come front in the morning?

Joshua McFadden

Lick me! Run your sweet gossamer tongue over my phalanges...

An Unknown Agent

too tired.

An Unknown Agent

I don't remember how to do things randomly or free-style. It isn't covered in the corporate policies.

(joan gosselin

Je ne suis pas une colombe ni un corbeau. Je sais que les choses peuvent changer, mais je n'en ai jamais été témoin et en ceci je me permet de douter du bien fondé d'une société qui croit pouvoir changer le monde en s'appuyant sur des théories comme la bonté intrinsèque de L'HOMME ou de la FEMME. Du moins je crois que par l'art, peut-être pourrons-nous du moins faire voir un peut de la laideur humaine et conscientiser les penseurs qui enseigent la bienséance qui N'est qu'un rammassi de codes externes qui ne mènent qu'à une déculpabilisation partielle de l'humain et ainsi lui évite d'avoir à agir pour se transformer et accéder à un plus haut niveau de conscience.


I appear to have mislaid my orders. If anyone finds them ....

James M.

Hey you! yeh you! why do y'all spell things phunny! Hey! you dont! Thank doG! I hate intentionaly bad spelling... buy enough aboot me...


we are all expendible, and not expensive prostituting ourselves, our beliefs what we really want for acceptance in a world we whould say "bollocks" to.. If you want us to believe in you pass legislation regarding sandals. I don't mean to say anything, but that is not to say that I want to mean nothing I am nothing, as are you, and my dog, who has been lifted in the air to see the world from my perspective. Is my mousemat dirty? does it matter to you? It didn't matter to Ultravox now did it. A question on wave particle dynamics... (in case anybody here can help me out) the behaviour of a particle in a wave is that it only moves in the vertical plane this particle within the wave does not move forward, yet as the wave breaks the tide moves in and out, by inference, the particles within the water move into and away from the beach, that is within the horizontal plane. When does the particle stop belonging to the wave but to the water? clouds, lighning freedom, McDonalds happiness, food


where have you been all my life???


here is the earth and it is covered in fur. rolling in the earth running your fingers through the sand lying in the wet leaves making love to the earth


Bob is good. Slack is good. I need more slack, jack.

simple servant of the vast countenance

No rants and raves but how about some shreiks and wails?


Will you spank me if I'm bad? I'll be very pleased with the results of your mailorder degree in cat leisure. have you seen the tree today, I hear that its not pleased with your progress, and for the matter of your mail order bride, did she burn the toast as well as the house. Moneyback guarantee. If you see this honk 3 times. I cannot be held accountable for such errors on your behalf.


Do these things actually get read by anyone? I actually hate computers..... they're just another mechanism by which modern society is cutting itself off from reallity. I'm working right now in a building with tons of other people and would rather type this random message that will probably never be read the talk to the person at the next desk over. Fine, I need the screen as a safety blanket. I am ashamed.......


^D^?^Ù k


Ummmm, I'm sure you don't give a shit about me and my girlfriend but frankly I'm only here for the art and I'm Not paranoid about terebly much. Sorry. No Government Conspiracies and cover-ups at my house.


........................................................... ........................................................... ........................................................... ........................................................... ........................................................... ...........................................................


it devoures

An Unknown Agent


An Unknown Agent

living with the thought everyone knows but me (Use other side if necessary.)


Why rant, it won't do any good.

Citizen Khan

Buddha you fat fuck You eat way to much sushi Go on a diet

Karl Marx

Capitalism will eventually lead to an uprising of the working class which will result in a worker's paradise eventually.


Has the struggle for knowledge and understanding through-out the centuries led to senseless crap like this?


<P ALIGN=CENTER>wet concrete below<BR> wet concrete above<BR> I sit motionless in my office<BR> on an airtight-sealed floor<BR> staring with unseeing gaze<BR> at multitude of cars swarming below</P> <P ALIGN=CENTER>wet pavement below<BR> wet-pavement colored sky above<BR> mist hanging in the air<BR> right outside my window 20 floors up<BR> fat city pidgeon perched up on the ledge across<BR> he's pavement-colored too</P> <P ALIGN=CENTER>wet grey pavement, wet grey cars,<BR> wet grey raincoats and umbrellas<BR> wet grey roofs, wet grey pidgeons,<BR> wet grey sky<BR> wet grey life</P> <P ALIGN=CENTER>fall in the city</P>

Chled Chledychledchledchledchledchledchledchledchledchled

Are you a lone idiot or does your mentality represent the entire younger generation? You obviously know nothing about Surrealism and your pea-brained synthesis of the movement with adolescent nihilism does a great discredit to what was a great albeit misguided arrt movement. You have managed to capitalize only on Surrealism's stupidest and weakest points. Infact you should take out the word Surrealism altogether and rename your page Dada whatever. It a shame that one of histories great literary/artistic movements should be employed by a bunch of phony and pretentious fucks as a vehicle for their unformed and airheaded ruminating about their 'wannabe' fantasies. God you are pretentious. Theres no goverment agency watching you, your not important enough, you've made up your own paranoia, and the only thing irrational about it is that you want to have it ....Jackass! Write me back, if you dont I'll consider you a coward, but I'm sure yoou wouldn't care anyway cause that would be very avant-garde.


What the fuck is the site about?


illegal poetry. who trains the clouds to be so sticky? the sound of distraction is a black ink-spot - play moon girl music! I sleep lightly and want frantically and want frantically - driven to disorder driven never walking never stopping kiss me kill me I've gone tragically wrong. if we tango all through the night, we die, only to live.

Mary "Lucky" Fortuna

i'd like to take this opportunity to thank all the little people who have toiled countless hours on my behalf to make this glorious moment possible (you know who you are), but most of all, i want to apologize for all the terrible things i said that night, i was drunk, i was out of my mind, i wasn't thinking, i know i really hurt you, it's not like i wanted to hurt you, well maybe just a little bit, you look so cute when you're suffering extreme emotional pain, it's so darn easy to get you worked up, why do you do that? what's your big problem, anyway? do you think anybody really cares how you feel, you miserable jerk?

An Unknown Agent

everyone always acuses me of ranting this is unfounded and true unfortunetly i prefer this to the true for of conversing i love to speak outloud and run on sentences are fun for everyone.

Jeremiah Seabird

I am ironman neenaneenaneena-neer neerneerneer


my cat's breath smells like catfood. love andy. sincerely, andy

honeyed silence

" inner necessity forced him to live what he feels and what he says. such an incarnate would thus know such a great liberty that no language would suffice to reproduce its movement (and dialectics would suffice no more than others). only human thought incarnated in this way would become a festival whose drunkenness and licentiousness would be unleashed no less than the feeling of language and the tragic. this leads one to recognize -- without leaving any way out -- that the incarnate man should also go mad." (georges bataille)


i feel very important

Andrew, son of my dad.

Watch the antelope. Theyre in on it. STOP LYING DAMNIT!!


I really believe that a rigerous application of the scientific method can bring us close to the "TRUTH" but that it won't do is any good.

Chris Dunn

This is the best questionnaire I've ever filled out.

Mahatma H Nobel-Faraday II

(using other side) Georgetown is really nice at this time of the month. Next week it will be atrocious. Last week it was abysmal. Don't even think about the week before, as it is forbidden in many states, countries languages apples pairs. What do you believe in? Mister Davis has theses really funny ideals about women called Veronica with numerous kittens implanted in unusual orifices (under the stairs, for example). But you know that already.

jon Love

fffff....ffff...fff...ff...f it

Peggy Sue

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh o.k. I feel better now


im sure there back

Yvan Greenberg

I like eggs, especially scrambled eggs, but I don't like an eggy mouth.


I accept this Nobel Peace Prize for Writing on behalf of all the crazy kids down at the diner. I'd like to thank all the people who've helped me all along, but there weren't any. I'd also like to say hi to Brett Easton Ellis. Look: Nobody is questioning my ability to dive tackle hurricanes. I can do that. I can rip apart everything without notice. I can move 3 thousand miles for no reason without knowing a soul, just to get the taste of apprehension back in my mouth. None of that shit was ever the problem. So what if I can't tell my Toto's from my Tornados'. So what! The problem with me is that I can't find Kansas. I don't know how to get home. But I'll recognize it when I see it- it's the only place I haven't been. Wow. I'm really all alone out here, aren't I.

M.C. Fine

see my journal, @ Lit Web site


On the one hand I could throw that which I love off the edge and see what happens at a risk to myself and others or I could let the shit hit the fan and things will suck even more MAYBE?

jon Love

I'm on the other side


I see pain... much pain... and no outlet suitable to help it all. i wish i could help y'all. oh, well. apathy lives yet another day, i guess.

Daniel Nooter

What do you get when you put two screeds in a blender? (answer on next box)

Raheem al-Maqtul Bey

Get to know the spirit of surrealism before you go spewing off your nonsense! It is not at all about nonsense, it is a study of the syntax of the imagination. It is not about freedom, it is an attempt to better understand our constraints. To see beyond the veil of preconceptions, one must strive to defamiliarize the "real".

An Unknown Agent

Who's reverent in a bank?

Walter Johnson (optional)

(I've enjoyed this trip into my otherwise unused area of my mind, thank you.Use other side if necessary.)

Bryan Hunter

Sometimes I feel so uninspired. Sometimes I just don't give a shit. And one day, when I felt this way, I thought I saw a lunatic. He was talking to a tree. He was fondling the bark. So I hid behind some bushes, and watched till it got dark. He began to shout, and jump about, and pointed to the sky. Then, suddenly, he noticed me, and he began to cry. "I want to paint my scrotum blue! Do You feel that way too? I want to eat a dead racoon, how 'bout you, hmm? How 'bout you? Now I knew he was deranged. His cerebrum had been re-arranged. I decided it was time to split. I was know longer ambivalent. So I turned and walked away. And he said, "Goodbye! Have a nice day!" But there was something other on his mind, and he snuck up on me from behind. He waited untill he got near, and he screamed in my ear. He nearly scared me half to death, and knocked me over with his breath... (and I remembered what he said about racoons, and I began to vomit) and he said: "Don't you even want to try? Was it for this that Jesus died? All my life I've wondered why; flys can't bird, but birds can fly." And then I thougt, "I must be dreaming", but that crazy fucker kept on screaming. And then he took of his shoe, and started scooping up my spew. And I thought, "Man, I've seen it all", and then I kicked him in the balls. And when he fell over in a faint, I got up to find some paint.


Life steps on your face. Art is there like a laugh track to fill in the quiet places.


dont get me going

Grynnan Barrett

i shivered ,i caught alight ,i had drifted ,i wanted ,now i am refused,you can say that the refusal was my rebirth


Spoon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i like Chesse

shaine alaine

nice procrastination point...I'll be back.

An Unknown Agent

Other side ! Other side ! I can't find the other side! what the hell are you trying to prove. I'm not answering anymore questions, that's for sure. Unless, that's what you want me to do. Fine I'm gonna answer, but I'm probably not going to tell the truth, unless i do.

Mike Flannery

are you trying to snooker me?are you trying to snooker me?are you trying to snooker me?are you trying to snooker me?are you trying to snooker me?are you trying to snooker me?are you trying to snooker me?are you trying to snooker me?are you trying to snooker me?are you trying to snooker me?are you trying to snooker me?are you trying to snooker me?are you trying to snooker me?are you trying to snooker me?are you trying to snooker me?are you trying to snooker me?are you trying to snooker me?snooker me?are you trying to snooker me?are you trying to snooker me?are you trying to snooker me?are you trying to snooker me?are you trying to snooker me?are you trying to snooker me?are you trying to snooker me?are you trying to snooker me?are you trying to snooker me?are you trying to snooker me?are you trying to snooker me?are you trying to snooker me?are you trying to snooker me?snooker me?are you trying to snooker me?are you trying to snooker me?are you trying to snooker me?are you trying to snooker me?are you trying to snooker me?are you trying to snooker me?are you trying to snooker me?are you trying to snooker me?are you trying to snooker me?are you trying to snooker me?are you trying to snooker me?are you trying to snooker me?are you trying to snooker me?snooker me?are you trying to snooker me?are you trying to snooker me?are you trying to snooker me?are you trying to snooker me?are you trying to snooker me?are you trying to snooker me?are you trying to snooker me?are you trying to snooker me?are you trying to snooker me?are you trying to snooker me?are you trying to snooker me?are you trying to snooker me?are you trying to snooker me?snooker me?are you trying to snooker me?are you trying to snooker me?are you trying to snooker me?are you trying to snooker me?are you trying to snooker me?are you trying to snooker me?are you trying to snooker me?are you trying to snooker me?are you trying to snooker me?are you trying to snooker me?are you trying to snooker me?are you trying to snooker me?are you trying to snooker me?snooker me?are you trying to snooker me?are you trying to snooker me?are you trying to snooker me?are you trying to snooker me?are you trying to snooker me?are you trying to snooker me?are you trying to snooker me?are you trying to snooker me?are you trying to snooker me?are you trying to snooker me?are you trying to snooker me?are you trying to snooker me?are you trying to snooker me?snooker me?are you trying to snooker me?are you trying to snooker me?are you trying to snooker me?are you trying to snooker me?are you trying to snooker me?are you trying to snooker me?are you trying to snooker me?are you trying to snooker me?are you trying to snooker me?are you trying to snooker me?are you trying to snooker me?are you trying to snooker me?are you trying to snooker me?snooker me?are you trying to snooker me?are you trying to snooker me?are you trying to snooker me?are you trying to snooker me?are you trying to snooker me?are you trying to snooker me?are you trying to snooker me?are you trying to snooker me?are you trying to snooker me?are you trying to snooker me?are you trying to snooker me?are you trying to snooker me?are you trying to snooker me?snooker me?are you trying to snooker me?are you trying to snooker me?are you trying to snooker me?are you trying to snooker me?are you trying to snooker me?are you trying to snooker me?are you trying to snooker me?are you trying to snooker me?are you trying to snooker me?are you trying to snooker me?are you trying to snooker me?are you trying to snooker me?are you trying to snooker me?HA I KNEW IT! Bassett Hound?


everything you know is right -- you just have to believe it first.

An Unknown Agent


An Unknown Agent

sneed, sneed, bring on the grapes!

a soluable fish

a poem ,no definitely not a poem,: slip this hand over the countertops of all the mothers kitchens in your home town and finf what truth you can in the dust


I am waiting for a cheap and easy way to surround people with the fabulous frightening world of my mind. I think.

(The)Dewar Walls

I'd like to reach the END, but there's a START inside me. And it's too deep.

Peter Denton

I think this is the other side..


I'm baffled

Pseudoannie & pseudojohn

I feel so much better now that I've given up all hope.


Sometimes the piper doesn't need the pay: especially on Tuesdays after his bath, when he is a very charming fellow, having just swallowed a noxious liquid.


The world is made up of disassambled nuclear protocols that scrape the dogmition of serene entities. Brains are being held captive at an ennui junction. Pock is the eternel hiest that plunders fitful traumas of placidity. Roaming in the unforgiveable quantum.


your name

i want the other side.

An Unknown Agent

Perkins once said: "It sticketh closer than a brother"

imeing froomersmelt

Random is as random does. The End.


Just you start something.


Mommy!! I wanna go home!!!

eL gremliN

Dig this, pussycat. Sit down for a minute, fix yerself a cup of coffee (or a glass of whiskey). Let me tell you a story. Once upon a time, there was me, and you, and they. And when the big ol' NOTHING cames along and puts us into one being, we was still three (trinity, you dig?) So I and you and they is/are wholly holy. But that's not the ending. The ending hasn't been written yet, but I can guess as to what it is...


Help me. I want power to command these idiots who are controlling me. They conform to standards they will not reveal.


(Ue othe sid if- necsay ;)

Soodow Nymn

Does free-style rant mean you pick how much you pay?

mark hawkins

A squid eating dough in a polyethelene bag is fast and bulbous. Tapered also, like a tin teardrop. What a blatant plagiarism that was. But it purged me!

the adhesive fairy



I choose not to express myself through the spoken or written word. The current selection of letterform-based symbols are insufficient.


First a bank, then a police station, now State university administrative offices!

An Unknown Agent

im an alcoholic and I kill babies

Dik Tibbetts

The end of the world is nigh

jim clancy

I am god and soon this pathetic galexy will be mine again so bow at my glory for Rome is in Disarray


The cats will take over the earth and turn us all into slaves

josh morgan

Your at Wall mart. You are trying to find your kid wife parent. sometimes all you see are the paper smiley faces hangin from strings and you realize your just standing there staring and someones trying to get a cart around you so you start walking again. All the reds, whites and blues are one color under the lines of florecent lights. youre wlking and squeezing through vast empty spaces and drifting through blue jeans your frightened into stoping and turning by a woman with tree children. and you are sitting betwee two racks of flastic bags containing white underwear and you dont wonder how you got ther you just get up because a man with a shopping cart wants the BVDs behind you. Your bladder leads you to the bathroom at the front of the store. Your thighs touch the sink. you face yourself in the mirror with small metal tabs holding it to the wall. Urine begins running down your leg and forms a wet horizontal line on you pants where it meets the sink. You squeeze the soap into your hand and try to find your face. The television screen on your shoulders reflects the bathroom as reflected by the mirror. Your reach into the mirror to change the channel and find a high speed chase, a card game, a face soap comercial. you watch the man with the perfect hair wash his face and you start to hear someone crying. Thirty=two bit sound of a child crying is coming from one of the stalls. You walk over and open the door. A child too small for his feet to touch the floor sits on the toilet sobbing. His one large eye wivels on his shoulders and focuses on you pleadingly. Toilet paper is tangeled around his hands w hich melt in to a game controller at the fingers. He tries lamely to reach around behind him. The smell of the shit underneath him is rising, coating him, wrapping itself around you. Didgital weepin cracks from somewhere below the eyeball. You reach down, take the cord of the controller, and plug it into your neck just below the screen. The child is playing and you are standing, head tilted down to meet the next generation.

David Boyle

Art is only achieved through viewing the many impossibilites that man has yet to achieve.

An Unknown Agent

Not a lot to say here. I feel relatively placated. In spite of the fact that half of what you have here is crap and needs more polishing / the sentiment is nice and the approach is well rounded for the targets. This is a very reassuring web site for me. Thanks.


Dear Sirs:


God Forbid or What if God Turned PC (c) Kip Hampton (I don't care if you use it, just give me credit) The lights come up on a business district street. The facades of three high-power companies are minimally implied in the background. The facade at C is fronted by steps leading to the entrance. A sign reading Phillips, Wong & Ledbetter hangs over the entrance. Pedestrians are crossing back and forth. Traffic noise can be heard. Woman enters from UC through door. She is dressed well and professionally. She absently drops her purse and sinks on to the steps in a heap. She she sits for a minute, staring at nothing. She picks up her purse and rummages through it, producing a sizable but elegant handgun. She considers the gun, turning it this way and that. She stands and puts the gun up to the side of her head. A Priest enters from R. Woman closes her eyes, her body tensing in anticipation of the gunshot. Priest: Hey. Hey. Hey! Hold on there. (Priest advances on Woman, slowly- hands spread.) Easy now, just put down the gun. Woman: Stay where you are. Don't try to stop me. I mean it. Priest: (Stops) I'm not going to do anything. I'll just stand right here, OK? You want to talk? Woman: What's to talk about? My life is over. Priest: No it's not. But it will be if you don't put that gun down. Now, tell me what's wrong. Woman: Over. My whole life is over. My career--everything. (In a rage, she points the gun toward the sign over the entrance) All because of that bastard! Priest: Easy now. Something happened with one of the people in this firm? Woman: (Laughs bitterly) Yeah, I'd say something happened. That bastard Phillips fired me because I wouldn't sleep with him. Priest: You worked for this company? Woman: Worked? More like slaved. I was the best damn account exec. this piss-ant company ever had. I brought in more than a million dollars worth of business last year. They were going to make me a partner. There was just one little thing I had to do first. Priest: (Embarrassed) I see. Well, isn't there something you can do? Legally, I mean. Woman: (Sarcastic) Oh no. See, that's the beauty of it. Tom Phillips is smarter than that. Much smarter. He set me up to look like I'd been stealing from the company. If I go to the law it looks like I'm just trying to cover my tracks. As it is he's fixed it so. . .(breaking down) I look like a crook. . . I'll never get another. . . Oh, God my life is over. Woman begins sobbing uncontrollably. Priest steps forward, takes the gun from her hand and puts his arm around her. Woman: What am I gonna do? Priest: I don't know. Things look pretty bad right now. (They separate. Priest slips the gun into his coat and takes both of Woman's hands.) When things get too big for me I take it to God in prayer. It helps me see the big picture. I'd like to pray for you now, if you'll let me. Tell you what, why don't you pray with me. OK? Woman: (nodding) Couldn't hurt. What've I got to lose? Priest: OK, just repeat after me. (All lights slowly dim out except for a small spot directly above Woman and Priest) Our Father. . . Woman: Our Father. . . Priest: Who art in heaven. Woman: Who art in heaven. Priest: Hallowed be. . . A trumpet sounds signalling the entrance of the Angels. note: all angel parts are to be read off-stage through the sound system. Each speech is accompanied by a series of flashing lights. These parts should be read in unison by a chorus of no less than three people from as broad a mix of gender and ethnicity as possible . Angels: (interrupting) Correction: Your prayer contains language that may be considered inappropriate or offensive. The words 'Our Father' imply that the Supreme Is is male. This mindset is too gender-specific and may be offensive to woman and other genders. Please restate your supplication. Priest: What? Angels: Correction: Your designation of The Cosmic Is as male is prejudicial and is not in accordance with this office's adoption of the protocols of political correctness. Please restate your supplication. Priest and Woman stare at one another for a moment in confusion. Priest shrugs. They bow and join hands again. Priest: Our, uh, Mother/Father (looks up, bows again) who art in Heaven. Woman: Oh, Our Mother/Father who art in Heaven. Priest: Hallowed be Thy. . . Angels: Correction: 'In heaven' implies that The Cosmic Is is in some way separated and or individuated from humanity. This concept may be hurtful and offensive to certain groups who do not recognize a distinction between God and matter. Please restate your supplication. Priest: Our Mother/Father/Other who art in everyone, Hallowed be Thy name. Woman: Our Mother/Father/Other who art in every one, Hallowed be Thy name. Thy kingdom come. Thy. . . Angels: Correction: The Cosmic Is is known by many names and the keeping as holy of any one particular name may be offensive to those who may recognize another cognomen. Please restate your supplication. Priest: Uh, our Mother/Father who art in everything. Confusing be thy name. Woman: Our Mother/Father who art in everything. (hesitates, looks up at Priest) Confusing be thy name. Priest: Thy kingdom come. Woman: Thy kingdom come Priest: Thy will be. . . Angels: Correction: A kingdom does not exist without a king. The words kingdom and king imply gender and may be considered offensive. Please restate your supplication. Priest: (frustrated) Um, Thy Lordship come. Thy. . . Angels: Correction: lordship is also prejudicial as to gender and may be considered offensive. Please restate your supplication. Priest: (Pulling away from Woman)Your, uh, rulership come? (pause) Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day. . . Angels: Correction: Section three, paragraph nine, sub-paragraph six of the Inter- Principality Communication Act states, and I/we/us, quote: "The theological idea of rulership, slash, despotism may be detrimental, and or, injurious to the self- image of human petitioners. To this end, any references to The Cosmic Is must be couched in language indicative of equality, unity and sameness", end quote. Please restate your supplication. Priest: (confused) Inter-Principality. . ? What's going on? (to Woman) I don't understand. Nothing like this has ever happened before. Angels: Please restate your supplication. Priest: (to self) Where was I? Let's see, (fast mumble) Our Mother/Father/Other who art in everyone, confusing be Thy name. Oh, yeah. Thy, uh, popularity increase? (pause) Thy will be um. . . (sotto) No, I can't say that. Uh, Thy popularity increase, (smiles)Thy potential be realized. On earth, no. . . Just like it is everywhere else. (relaxes. To Woman:) I think I'm getting the hang of this. (bowing again) Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our. . . Angels: Correction: It has been decided that the daily asking of bread is dehumanizing, contrary to a heathy sense of self-reliance and often leads to co-dependency. Please restate your supplication. Priest: Give us. . .no. Grant us. . .Um. Provide, no. Damn. (to Woman) What do I say? How do you ask for something if you can't ask for anything? Woman: (calmly, soothing) Hey, listen. Don't worry about it. I can see that you're really busy. Angels: Please restate your supplication. Woman: (Straighting herself and shaking Priest's hand) I appreciate the gesture and everything, but I'm fine now. Really. You've been a big help. Angels: Please restate your supplication. Priest: No. Please don't go. You must accept God into your life. (desperately keeping hold of her hand) I don't know what's going on here; but I'm going to get to the bottom of it. As Jesus said, whatsoever you ask the Father in My name, that will I do. And. . . Angels: Correction: The word 'Father' implies that the Cosmic Is is male. This statement is prejudicially gender-specific and may be offensive. Please restate your supplication. Priest: (Screams) Shut up! (softer, to Woman) Don't leave. I can do this. (drops to his knees) Let's see. . . (brokenly, in anguish) Our non-gender-specific Parent who may be anywhere, many be thy names. Thy Is-dom am. By PC's plan, we lie to protect the feelings of those less fortunate than ourselves. (Woman exits slowly, shaking her head as Priest continues.) Validate, this day, our basic needs. And accommodate our value judgements; as we pretend not to fear those who are not like us. And lead us not into honest expression; but deliver us from character. For ours is the squelching and repression and banality forever and never. (pause, deep breath) Amen. Priest rises, spent. He composes himself and crosses L toward exit. Angels: (After an extende pause.) Correction: The syllable 'men' contained in the closing 'amen', may be considered prejudicial and offensive. Select an ending which is not specific as to gender and restate you supplication. Priest stops dead in his tracks and raises his eyes toward heaven. Angels: Please restate your supplication Priest takes the gun from his coat. Angels: Please restate your supplication. Priest puts the gun to his head. Angels: Please restate your supplication. The lights go out. Angels: Please restate your supplication A shot rings out. Angels: Please restate your supplication. Curtain.


Hello, My name is Harry. I live in an onion with the King of the potatoe people. We ride all day in teacups

An Unknown Agent

i dont want to be a cool guy anymore i want to be eating food

An Unknown Agent

i am very mad at myself for wasting so much time trying to be something and masturbating the possibilities into shit and making my life an inescapable torture all this paranoia stuff is cute but its ability to waste time and kill love is the real scandal


Why rant? It's useless.

An Unknown Agent

one day i will become a bank robber serial killer vixen chick and you can all say i knew her when. if i said that i had detailed plans to kill the president would i be tracked down and arrested? just in case i'll tell you i don't. there is far too much violence on television these days and i am way too good at regurgitating it.

Surrounded by Idiots

Wallow in Opulence. Get me another cocktail.

An Unknown Agent

Can you see further by day or by night?


If one such as myself can not create, then what's the point of living.


both sides were written on, i demand another sheet




This is random.


You know, for the past year or so, I've been having these dreams where I lose all or some of my teeth. It's never the same dream (the location and company changes with each one), but I lose my teeth in all them. I spoke to someone who is around thirty years older than I, and she said she used to have those dreams too, when she was my age. What I want to know is: just what is going on?

The Chimp



Wow, this was as much fun as covering myself in Crisco and rolling in glass. (and I happen to like that sort of thing).

Deft Touch

Mother Nature is a Nazi.

Tia Lagargye

Shit happens life goes on


safe yourself, run.

Wes Fleming


The Grand High Penguin

as this fineline chair releases as Dusteyes cry and leave my shagcarpet mind beside its self alone. because but withall is contriving in solitude you are not my mind as i wish you to be. worldend smokestack pajama time game is risking the golden life. as i come to leave this alone without empty and want to be noiseless as well. tiny plinking beakerglass break wanting for which i^Òm not astounding while sitting appologize mind cry for the earth and the moon. scuff my feet courdory thighs swishing long long marble hall echo my lazymind leave me my lazymind expose lazy mind now to all. the hissing and dropping of waterfall comming and leaving is passing us by, the only eyeopen that plaid cannot see is a plain, yellow dress splatted with mud because the simple rain has brought vengefull bicyclists.

Flynne Bondolini

don't tread on my unrealistic need to find peace and sobriety in the next lifetime (this one is not happening fast enough)


Several years ago i got my wisdom teeth out, and was given Percoset for the pain. As was my habit on Monday evenings at the time, i went to Lab. Lab was (is still?) a bunch of people who got togetir each week to talk and drink togeter at a little neighbourhood pub in Fairfax, VA. I felt no pain, so i went, and had a couple of vodka tonics. That was at about twenty o^Òclock. At around twenty-two, my teeth, or where my teeth were, began to hurt, so i took the prescribed number of tablets "as needed". Well, it hit me about two hours later, i got wide awake and talkative. Totally wired. I decided that i probably shouldn^Òt drive myself home, so i had one of my friends, who probably shouldn^Òt have been driving either, drive me home. Once we got to the parking lot at my apartment, we sat in the car and i talked to her until two or three. While we were talking, a cat climbed all over us and the Jeep. Once i was finally convinced that going upstairs to my apartment was a good idea, i lifted the cat off of the hood of the Jeep and set it on the hood of the car next to hers, while shouting, "Silly Kitty, that^Òs not safe there. Here ya go, that^Òs much better there, isn^Òt it?", then said goodnight to my friend, and stumblefloated up the stairs to my house. My housemate at the time, Catharina, was still up, so i started talking nonstop to her. While i continued to babble, she explained to me that she was tired, had just finished a paper, and wanted to sleep so she could hopefully get up to go to class in the morning. I was so stoned, i paid no attention to anything she said and kept right on talking. She headed to the kitchen where there was the end of a roll of Virginia lottery paper which we used for messages, and tore off a piece. Then she picked up a marker and started to draw. "Whatcha doin^Ò?" i asked. "You^Òll see." She proceeded to draw a smiling stick figure, complete with hair. Then she began to write something under the drawing. "J-E-F-F," i spelled as she wrote. She held the drawing out at me in both hands, and said, "Here. This is Jeff. Talk to him, he'll listen to you. I'm going to bed." "Hi JEFF!" i said, snatching the pink slip of paper from her hands before she even finished talking. I proceeded to talk to JEFF and went and sat on the futon mattress that was most of our living room furniture at the time. Holding JEFF in my hands, i talked to him for who knows how long. Eventually, i set JEFF on the futon next to me, and said, "JEFF, you wait there for a minute, i need to do some laundry. I got the laundry and talked to him while i put it in the machine, and then went back to the futon. "I'm tired. Here, JEFF. You lay there," i said while placing him an the floor next to me, "and wake me when the laundry's done; i need to put it in the dryer." And then i laid down on the futon. Soon, the washer wound down from the final spin. "JEFF! The laundry's done!" i enthused excitedly, "Fuck the laundry! The laundry will be there in the morning," and promptly fell asleep. JEFF lives on my freezer now. He comforts me, and makes me happy. And he listens really well, so i talk to him still sometimes, if only to say hello to him. You can visit a b&w picture of JEFF at

Lyle Nisenholz

Good luck with your continued attempts, and by the way I want to make a web sight this cool so please e-mail me and tell me how.

What's a Screed?

An Unknown Agent

if anyone actually reads this spare a thought that i did this triped out (not a bad effort i thought

Les Ismore

as if it would make a difference

your name

Ray Bolger suffered for America

An Unknown Agent

merci beaucoup pour l'opportunite d'exprimer mes penses, donc je crois bien que c'est une opportunite si rare aujourd'hui.


Life is bowl of BS dive in and enjoy it!!!!!!

sarah r.

speed kills. patience is a virtue.

I'm a liar

what the fuck is it? pish posh. Oh I see.

An Unknown Agent


James V. Cervantes

I would like to use both sides when necessary.

An Unknown Agent

I believe that dragons rip out men's hearts, discard them for their filth, and swallow the bodies whole.


Black socks, they never get dirty the longer you wear them, the blacker they get. Someday, I'll probably wash them but something inside me keeps saying not yet, not yet

Tim Drage

complex shapes and deep draws are possible fish, which benefits from fresh, blue light The one fly in the ointment The conractors stated that, they were Available in a variety I have

jon Love

Masturbation...oh, shit! That was the response to the other question!! So what the hell have I got to free-style rant about? oh, that's right! damn...sure get tired of having to go without year after year....suffering from a lack of "vitamin pussy!"

Eric Domazlicky

If you wish to take over the world using small kitchen applicances contact me.

josh morgan

And one night, somewhere in my head, I was crisin on down by pizza hut and didn't realy know why, but i was cool and knew what was goin on if only in an excistential sense. Any ways I've got my favorite shirt on, soft dirty jeans, nappy hair, and no underware and so am feelin about as nice as possible when this cop enters the scene. He comes on with a hard look and I'm just feelin too good to accept the existance of any evil man in black with a gun. So instead of makin with a nervous sideways glance beffiting my position I lay on with a yummy slow motion laugh. So the before mentioned man in black is quite disconcerted by this most unusual reaction and comes to the conclusion that I am high as a kite from some illicit material or another. Happens not to be true. Don't know what happens next. Thats up to the officer I suppose. Ijust thought I'd show you what I felt and thats about it for that bit.

la reine

Why am I sending this?

karen anne





My hands are tired my legs are aching my mother is crying in the corner she broke off my pigtail I don't know what to do my father is asleep in the car with his foot on the steering wheel and I'm watching them always, always

An Unknown Agent

thats me!

E. Rubin-Vega

see other side


the other side isn't ready for my rants.




Anyone actually reading this? Good. My advice is: read Thomas Pynchon listen to Ambient/Dub & recycle EVERYTHING

peter ekman

all of them fuckers

Glen Gallier

A seive will not hold water, but a seive will hold another seive....................

An Unknown Agent

Tasty Beverages for the People!

jon Love

I deplore the other side and it has all of my previous rants scribbled all over it now... what happened to the girl who was doing a "Paper On Rants and Screeds?"


or not. (sorry, not in the mood) PS: can I come back here?

Big Chikeee(optional)

I am being assumed by the heavenly father while we speak - he's putting a wolverine down my skirt - yum!

An Unknown Agent

C is for cookie, that's good enough for me, C is for cookie, that's good enough for me, C is for cookie, that's good enough for me, Cookie cookie cookie SATAN SAYS KILL


Why should I go to the Whitney Museum when I have a garbage dump right across the street?

Dave HowardI am he who has become myself

I have nothing of importance to say at this time

leighton zenon taylor

just bend over. i'll run right over you. its been fun to play, but i've a minimum amount of work to do for minimum wage

An Unknown Agent

what part of no decaf don't people understand? men, in general


Ahem...I think I've said enough already!!

Leslie Kleinberg

O / infinity = Everyday life (i think a surrealist said that.) TRY A MATT OBERT DECAF. (spread the word) Read Cometbus zine. Eat mashed sweet potatoes with some sort of whiskey jerk sauce (my cook-mates made it, it's great). Always always choose exciting methods of procrastination, even if it's just organizing your pencil collection.


What does 'screed' mean ?




What's in cocktail sauce?

Your Name Here

Why is everything moving so fast?


the public sucks....FUCK HOPE FUCK HOPE


This will just get lost in the masses.


Other Side.


I am the love child of Hillary and someone without a face. My will is not my own. I am happy with that.

The Mugician

While walking down the road of life, you may encounter rocks and stones, but if you feel that all is lost, remember, icecream has no bones


I hit the enter button by mistake, that is why you have two of this job interview forms, by the way what is the pay, and when can I start my first vacation?

Rev. Father POPE SiGRiD Fenderson V, KSC

That's just what my doctor said. HAIL ERIS!

Jesse "Jigs" Walker

I'd just like to point out that part of my mental deficiencies belong to the Lord.


on the other side i see u again...

jeli ian neck(optional)

if formulated in spastic contractions ofpersonal upheavalthe protraction of negative aspirations to link sensual oiled slipstream dipsomania to the mob's curiosity about feline catharsis Step lightly upon steel girders canvassed by streamers river ocean blood circumnavigate the atom...again?

Ralph McGinnis

His body bends like a blade of grass, his fingers smell of oranges. I'm frail and unraveled. I've arms like pale worms and hips like the curves of clamshells...... -Copyright 1996 by Ralph McGinnis

Axaxaxax Mlo

This is not a camera.

Redcap (avec Wit)

there is not one bit of wit left in my body bad rhyme dreadfully unintentional

jeff the lynks


An Unknown Agent


An Unknown Agent

it is not to even attempt to be or try not to be it is to simply be and kick back and watch what one is be-koming... non-judgementalism is key to defeating the pathological self- critic which prevents personal growth and projects hatefully upon the psyches of others....with "self" out of the way I am free to let myself be the queer person I have always wanted to be and having the courage to be like myself simply means that I can now enjoy all of the many forms of life-styles I have deprived myself of -- turning out is a bitch!!!! And once it's done the total being leaps into manifestation and everts the corebeing of Love for the Universe....

Reece R. Dano

if you don't like it, it doesn't really matter anyway

An Unknown Agent

I need more visual aids.

Francis Heaney

I'm afraid I'm loath to attempt to write any screeds when Michael Medved has already written the quintessential one.

Lord Chrisna

Rant Rant Rave Rave Ugger Bugger baloom baloom Jesus sucks my dick and he isn't Spanish


People ask me if I've found Jesus. I tell them: --No, but I haven't checked under my bed yet.


aaaaah dammit you know you wanted her cosmic vibrations that reverberated from the laser writer of sin....YOU KNEW IT. besides squid eating doughs in polyethelene bags are fast and bulbous

An Unknown Agent


Xerxes Alexandrovitch

Do you ever get the feeling that your roommate times you in the morning to see how long it'll take you to drag you lazy ass out of bed? Occasionally it worries me, but I'm much more concerned that I'll go home on spring break and find that my brother has eaten all my M&M's.


envelopes are a useful tool


Just fuck-off and stay on vacation forever.

The fool

I am here there and everywhere, I have no home.

An Unknown Agent

Thanks for the survey Thanks for the sound of bees telling me what you obviously know already.

Josh Ronsen

Ok, so this grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender says "Did you know we have a drink named after you?" The grasshopper says "You have a drink called Ted?" Who invented the word "whew"? Sure, we ALL do.


I have heard it said that there is no God, only truth, but I have also heard that God is truth. Can this be true?

Derrida on crack

a three dimensional object casts a two dimensional shadow that exists with out awarness of it's source. thus a four dimesional object could cast a three dimesional shadow that would likewise be unaware of it's sourse, until of course someone turned off the light. it is there fore possible that we are all shadows of vague nameless un-namable four dimesional entities. SALVE DISCORDIA.

An Unknown Agent

This is costing me money, I certainly hope it is worth it.


Les Infants Perdus


************************************************************ Have a nice day! (Insert yellow 70's style smile face here.) ************************************************************




Why, yes, I am the Other. Thanks for asking.


Mundermiliant superioous codermilk nevery togetherwise screttles.

Onan Isticfingerdipper

Where the frattin-frisker was this here mushine fifty-six years go when nobody gave a damn about what I felt or thought or wanted or anything like that? Where was cyber space when the Parochial Paranoia was being inculcated into my head and tender little butt by a bunch of black-gowned penguins who wanted to insure my admission to the Pie In The Sky but lacked the sophistication to prepare me for Life in the World of Here and Now! (I'm not Kidding one bit!) I've got stuff tos ay the world ha never heard and stuff to say that is hard to hear! And I have always been like that!!! Someone wants to slam the door on the expanding community of mankind...just when the global consciousness has the tool to bridge all the breeches and gaps between cultures and ethnic groups....someone wants to Watch Over Us and insure that nobody is naughty> Here, Big Brother, take a good long look up my hershey highway!!!! Art is FREEDOM and that freedom is Self-Expression .... I stutter, and I can tell you that people who stutter know what it is like to shudder when they hear someone glibly say: "Well, you know, a man can make his mouth say anything!" Hell, I wish I could! I feel like a Turrette Syndrome victim sometimes -- just want to scream something like: "PULL A PRINTER'S PENIS!" and watch the blood drain out of the uptight, upright, do-right, Lilly-White WASPS bastards! I am not obscene when I am naked and neither are you....Mankinds major obscenity is in his violence and in his lack of chairyt! I will not be defeated by this caca-system! I'm going to paint Haight Ashbury Shorty: The Epitome of Vulnerability and see if the Supreme Court will hold that because he has a magnificent erection the work of art is obscene! Hell, Shorty only had one finger growing out of his left shoulder and he told me that his penis was the only thing about him that really worked right. Being unable to even clothe himself and being unable to conceal his excitement when in the prescence of a lovely lady he made a lot of female friends -- 'cause they knew that he was Vulnerability Personified! I've got the drawing finished and I'm going after the Masonite Panel Saturday! In my studio, no body tells me what I can and can't do!!!!! Get outta here you biggotted slobs!!!!!! <Not you, per se!> well, you're using somekind of electronic truth serum here, aren't you?

anne kaider

Down with low-fat foods! It's an attempt by the major food corporations to

Apple Woman

Isn't it amazing how much time people will spend filling out these little surveys? Why don't these boxes have text-wrap? Could we be a little more annoying please? Guess that's it.


The sky is falling. The sky is falling.

Rod Christopherson

The space in my time is ever occupied by the refractive and reflective force demonating my mind and abilities. W/o the ability to rationalize or localize these spawned fuckers of dignity one cannot propell himself forward in our continue...Um? Frame of existence. ok?


Don't you wish.

An Unknown Agent

Live or be lived. Act or be acted on. Push or be pushed. This is the future buddy, you got a problem with it? And who are you anyway? Shhhh!

Suran Song

Is there any Left left?


What the hell is the point?????

An Unknown Agent

If you were siting on it, how did it get there? And how long has it been?

John Thomas

I want to have as much sex and booze as possible prior to the end of the universe.

An Unknown Agent

I ranted once, but my landlord sold the place out from under me after I painted it and fixed the bathroom floor.

Alan Scott

We don't need gods to make Armageddon.


I need communication with forces outside the evil influence of southern california(o.c.) help me i am drowning in my own bodily secretions.

An Unknown Agent

can you give me over to the opened head? the alley is dirty with the nose of her...snooty podlike, distant, asking me for the directions to the volcanoe,"i saw you there, yesterday." she insists. i object to her accusations. "I'm not accusing you of anything.", she says. Of course, she is lying, you can tell by the way her elbows and kneecaps are leaking fluid.(Use other side if necessary.)


my life sucks. big time. i have no serious commitments ever. i am the loser of all losers. i am convinced my friends hate me. i over-think every situation iam caught up in. i feel like a statistic, all the time, every day. i hate society, that's what's killing me. nobody loves me, i am forgotton. my cat ignores me when i'm really feeling upset. i am chronically repressed..............

just call me RB

A motorcycle helmet lined with aluminum foil works wonders at repelling those nasty alien thought-control beams. A chicken is just an egg's way of making another egg. Paranoids have enemies, too. There is no gravity, the Earth sucks.




I believe it is almost time to rise up and take control and run this country like it sould be run and not by constipated old men and oil companies now is the time of the choice of the new generation, namely us.(Use other side if necessary.)


I thank you for giving me the place to properly air my complaints. I will advise the others in my cabal to come here and fill out this form with meaningless garbage as well. Enjoy

andy k.

too late to say good-bye but that seems o.k. if you know what knowledge means. ah, bye the way how's the weather like in guadeloupe?

Nate Gerheim

The world is just a dream. When will I wake up world?

gertrude stein


Tony Daniel...


Bob Supan

arf arf arf rowrbazzle

Leo A. Toznet

The above couple of questions strike me as malformed. I take the apocalypse to have already happened. And the Death of CAWKI to be a fait accompli. We are all victims/victimizers. We have all been abducted -- and have abducted others. We have all been seduced and abandoned -- and have seduced and abandoned others. "READ it? Christ, I haven't even taught it yet!" -- Morse Peckham

An Unknown Agent

My nostrils flare in a pleasurable oblong oval way, as I grasp my corn flakes with a barnacled tentacle, which throbs and pulsates with various and sundry of pulleys and hinges. Redirect your vitriol at someone who has a ghetto blaster.

An Unknown Agent

this is really cool, ack ack Sign_Here-EZ Indicators of Self Enter your e-mail address: Enter your name: Who are you anyway? Danger By submitting this form you DO DON'T give your consent that any and all responses included herein become fair game for the editorial staff of Flightless Hummingbird to use for their own sinister purposes including publishing excerpts in future mutations of this pseudo-periodical. Warning! There are no guarantees. A salesman will call. Interest rates subject to change when something else catches our collective eye. Your mileage may already be a winner. All applicable state and local taxes are fully protected by the Geneva Convention and need not apply. Employees not eligible. Blah blah blah, so forth and sew on, dot dot dot. Furthermore, submitting this form will result in the staff of this pseudo-periodical making a variety of unfounded assumptions about the respondent, including, but not limited to, genetic heritage, fashion sense and mating practices. Not responsible. Survey Survey How many surveys do you fill out during the average month? Of those, how many do you answer truthfully? Are you being truthful now? Art Pro Con Elaborate: Have you ever used the words problematic, juxtaposition, and ontological in the same sentence? Guilty Not Guilty Have you ever tried to have that sentence published? Guilty Not Guilty Do you find words like astheticize and dichotomization creeping into your daily life? True False Have you ever been astheticized without your knowledge? Yes Not That I Know Of Do you adopt the same hushed tones and reverent manner in a museum as in a bank? Have you ever purchased art as an investment? Guilty Not Guilty Do you considered investing a form of self expression? Buy Sell Have you ever looted another culture? Guilty Not Guilty Do you use religious artifacts for secular purposes? Have you ever stolen the soul of a primitive and superstitious native? Are you pillaging at this moment? Not Guilty Guilty Guilty, but resent the implication Paranoia Is your paranoia well founded or completely irrational ? How can you tell? When did you first decide that certain government agencies or institutions considered you a threat or a nuisance? By which do you feel threatened: Governments Multinational corporations. Organized Religions Nameless entities about which the mass of humanity is dangerously ignorant (Elaboration Unnecessary.) Do you ever have the feeling that your innermost thoughts and needs are being collected and analyzed for manipulative purposes and to rob you of any real choice? Eschatology: Optimistically, how long do you feel it will be before civilization collapses under the weight of its own unbridled folly? Will this be a good thing? Or just another quick-fix by sound-byte, opinion-poltergeist demagogues? Has your gloomy prognosis affected your: Career choice Investment strategies Drinking habits this is cool

Orlene Baird

Why is it that I am the only one who sees the end? Not of the world, but as the century progresses the end of life as we know it! Where are the angels, the demons, the cesspit creatures and all the other prtents religion insists we shall have? Am I right, then, in saying that we have been abandonded to the subjective nausea of the untrained masses? I must be heard! I shall be?


Don't tell me any JOKES!

del soba


Jim McClure

Put in blood by mind made DNA tomorrow spauning crystal gardens resonating spiral

An Unknown Agent

scooby - doo y'all

Thomas Cox

Anyone who can explain the difference between Eschatology and Scatology probably isn't qualified to do either.

(onothing or ducktape or nightshade or rainbow brite or sunflower

yip yip yip yip yip yip AAAAIIIIIIIIEIEEEEEE beep beep bounce bounce bounce la la la ferns are friends and friends are ferns (meht hsaw og d'i esle ro sdnah ym no emit on llew) ?he ,sdnah ym no emit hcum oot tib edis rehto gnisu ecaps fo tuo nar


this is definately not my penis.

Walker, Lord of the Mole People

i once beat up a bum but he didn't bleed. I guess it was because it's harder to see blod on a black guy's face. Anyway, it made me think how kitsch is a half-open stare job on a toe-spotted shag. I told him that and he laughed because he thought I was stupid.


(Use other side )

Heath Ivan Hewett

love is the drug. think.(Use other side if necessary.) and believe in hyperawareness. Do. see. Think. MAKE.


I don't really want to know about your mother.

An Unknown Agent

The meaning of life is to have lots of money, a cute guy by your side, and a closet full of shoes you will never wear.

Bryan Price

Humans are no different than other animals.

Brian Barrett

DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE [Editor's note: Imagine the word 'DIE' another 1200 times and you will have a clearer understanding of the author's original intent. Makes you wonder how we filled our days before technology enhanced them.]

jen weintraub

I love your work.

a whisper breathed by the breath of death

the world- filled with Dragon's Blood- the whole thing is an ad-ver-tis-ment for a magazine you've never heard of or a poem you dont like- SHIT ON YOU SHIT ON DOG SHIT SHIT SHIT- i am he who bears the backpack of god- the gos 'o' groove is my home entertainment system but he keeps his spaghetti mind all to himself and his whore -

An Unknown Agent

don't slump slump is for grumps and ranting is unproductive P.S. Who are you people? (Or was I supposed to read the fine print?)

Bob Brault (bro)

A cow is of the bovine ilk. One end moos, And the other gives milk.

Karl Schmidt

zegk hoqp.




My ranting is valuable...(im an author(ian?))... ill not waste it on you...


is there a purpose?

Rick Hansen

On the chest of a barmaid from Sale Were tattoed the prices of ale. And on her behind, for the sake of the blind, Was the same information in Braille.

An Unknown Agent

Shouldn't that be random seed? I wonder if I have any NCAA eligibility left even though I'm 28, & have earned two degrees. I think I could play at a junior college, and who knows? Why don't these scrollable text entry windows have word wrap. Word wrap should be in the Bill of Rights or somewhere like that. Why are most roofs cluttered with ugliness? (art degree sneaking through) Why did the architect assume that no nearby building would be higher than theirs? I'm only on the 4th floor, yet I have to look at vents and air conditioners all day. Some of those vents probably vent gaseous air from toilet drains. Talk about ugly. If 75% of the employees in a building don't have windows in their office anyway, it seems that 75% of that building should have been built underground to save space. I'm 5'10" 170 lbs and I can touch the rim. Isn't there something I can do to add 6 inches to my verticle jump so that I can slam dunk? Do tell. I'm not interested in surgery.




for further elaboration, see Spoons Only anti-art page


The poetry of the modernist ideal did not fail the culture failed modernism.

K. Cranford

I'ed rather not. I'm not angry just paranoid.


No sé para qué es este último apartado, quizá para enviar una grandilocuente despedida. Pero... ¿ y si no era para eso ? Dios, qué tremenda responsabilidad!!


How come there is no special name for the TOPS of your feet?

An Unknown Agent

Um, yaeh...whatever

Steve Shimada

rave. analyze all genres before criticizing it. respect. tolerate. pain only comes fr


Sorry, just lost my train of thought. Boarding schedules can be bought for a dollar, though. Please send Cash Only to my adress.

Wolf (David Crossman)

Why do you want to know all this stuff about me? Do you know Johnson? (No, wait, I've been playing Shadowrun ((c)FASA) too much recently...) I can hear it when the phone tap picks up... What does your voice sound like when processed through a synthesizer? Bring me their sabagos, and let them eat cheese. The world shall spend its last month on a pedestal of spagetti!

An Unknown Agent



art without pain is just paint.

Carolyn Hendra

I would like to know what a screed is. I am doing a 47 page essay on the word, so could you please send me a full frontal deffinition, along with the story behind the person who created the word. (Complete with title page, references, and bibliography)

Bryan Donnell

My friend Tony who is sitting here only got me into this survey because we were looking for online porno

Gillian 'Mad Skirt' Jaysmith

Gave at the office.


later babe
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