On the Road to Hellespont. . .

     Gabrielle was making good time down the road to the temple of 
     Artemis when she came to a crossroads. Three disreputable robber-
     types came out and tried to slow down the plot by robbing her.
     
     Suffice to say:
     
     1. Leg trip
     2. Reverse swing
     3. Staff to the groin
     
     . . . and then Gabrielle continued down the road. A little while 
     later, there was a rustling noise in the bushes and she swung 
     around toward it, brandishing her staff menacingly. Joxer the 
     Mighty jumped backward with a yelp and fell on his butt. 
     
     "Gabrielle! I was testing your alertness by sneaking up on you!" 
     he protested in his nasal tone.
     
     Gabrielle rolled her eyes toward the heavens, "Mighty Zeus, give 
     me strength," she ground out. 
     
     "Gabrielle! I hardly think this is time to pray!" said Joxer. 
     "There could be more bandits coming along the road any moment 
     now! I just took out twenty, no! thirty of them a few minutes 
     ago!" he protested. 
     
     Gabrielle took a very deep, slow breath, her patience almost worn 
     out already. She shifted, "accidentally" putting the end of her 
     staff uncomfortably close to Joxer's neck. "Joxer, I don't have 
     time to stand here and argue with you. Callisto and Velasca are 
     about to break free from their confinement; we have to get to the 
     temple of Artemis and warn the pilgrims and priestesses there!"
     
     "Callisto?" Joxer said in a very small voice as he scrambled to 
     his feet.
     
     "Yes," she said, biting off the word and then turning for the 
     road.
     
     She walked about fifteen or twenty steps while Joxer remained 
     rooted to the spot, wavering slightly. A wind blew and some 
     leaves went past his head. Suddenly, he snapped to alertness and 
     chased after her. "Gabrielle! Wait, wait for me!" 

Minako: Warrior, Princess, Sidekick
The Director's Cut (version 2.0)

Chapter Three:

"Fear and Loathing In Ionia"

(Just kidding! It's really. . .)

"Joxer the Mighty"

     IN THE FIELDS WEST OF HELLESPONT. . . 
     
     It was a warm afternoon; overall, a very nice day. A lot of the 
     villagers were in an unused field west of the village that had 
     wild berries. It was sort of a social activity for the whole 
     village to go out and pick the small, slightly tart berries. 
     
     One of the people picking berries was a young woman named Moment. 
     She and her mother lived by themselves. Everyone in the village 
     remarked on what a beutiful daughter Melusine had and how it was 
     a shame her husband had been thrown from his horse and killed 
     just after they were wed.
     
     It was a complete fabrication, and a lot of the villagers knew 
     it, but it worked for them.
     
     Moment heard a dog barking persistently. She ignored it for a 
     while, and continued picking the small berries. Eventually, it 
     struck her as odd that a dog would bark so much. She looked 
     around. None of the other villagers seemed to hear it. It seemed 
     a plaintive cry for a dog, almost like it was calling her. It 
     stopped for a few minutes. Just when she was about to get back to 
     work, she heard it again. Once more, she looked around and no one 
     else showed any reaction. She sat down her basket and began 
     walking toward the forest.
     
     "Moment! Where are you going?" cried out her mother. 
     
     The tall young girl turned around and smiled at her mother. "I'm 
     just going into the woods a bit," she said. "Know where there are 
     some good leaves?" 
     
     Her mother smiled and suggested she try about 50 yards inside the 
     forest and up a bit toward a stream. Moment thanked her and 
     headed that way.  
     
     A young man named Clavix walked up to her. His father was a 
     widower and had his eye on Melusine. For that matter, Moment 
     thought Clavix might have his eye on her, but she wasn't sure. He 
     was certainly friendly but she couldn't tell if it was brotherly-
     friendly or suitor-friendly. "Hey Moment. Think your mom might 
     bake one of those really good pies of hers for me if I give her 
     all my berries? I know my dad would love it." 
     
     "I think she would," she said. The hound cried out again. "You 
     should go ask her. I need to go ..."
     
     Clavix blushed. "Oh! Sorry!" and bumbled off toward Melusine. 
     Moment darted into the woods, following the sound of the dog. Or 
     . . .  was there more than one? Was she hearing two voices at the 
     same time? Intrigued, she hurried toward the sounds. The baying 
     ceased soon thereafter but she continued on in the direction 
     she'd been headed.
     
     Shortly thereafter, she heard the low whining and growling of 
     dogs on a leash and entered the clearing she thought the sound 
     was coming from. 
     
     She was surprised. There was only one dog making the noises. The 
     catch was it had three heads, each like a different breed of 
     shepherding hound. 
     
     But, before that could register, the presence of a tall, pale man 
     in black armor caught her attention. He had chalky skin, slicked 
     back black hair, and a black helm rimmed in gold was in his right 
     hand. His black cloak billowed in the breeze. In his left hand, 
     he held the triple leash that bound Cerberus.
     
     "Come, my child. Come with me. You are leaving this place."
     
     "My lord!" she cried, falling to her knees, bewildered. 
     
     Hades smiled ever so slightly as she had not begged for mercy. In 
     fact, she had not really said anything much at all. He liked 
     that.
     
     "There is a better place I am going to take you to. You will 
     likely never return here," he said.
     
     "The . . . the Elysium Fields?" she asked. 
     
     "No, somewhere even brighter," he replied enigmatically. "The 
     Fates have decreed a long thread of life for you. Now, follow 
     me." He turned and walked away and Moment followed the god into a 
     rift in space.
     
     Two minutes later, Velasca and Callisto arrived in Hellespont and 
     began flexing their powers of destruction.
     
     ON THE ROAD TO HELLESPONT. . .
     
     
     Joxer and Gabrielle were making very good time. Mostly Gabrielle 
     was walking as fast as she could and Joxer stumbled along after 
     her. There was a blast of golden light and Aphrodite appeared in 
     the road in front of them. "Hello!" the goddess anounced.
     
     "Aphrodite," said Gabrielle noncomitally. Joxer, however, turned 
     rather greenish. The last time he'd seen her, she'd put a spell 
     on him to turn him into a dashing hero irresistable to women. 
     Afterwards, he'd felt like such a clod in comparison. A flush of 
     anger rose to his cheeks.
     
     Aphrodite glanced at Gabrielle, an oddly measuring gaze, and then 
     looked at Joxer. She assumed her most coy, kittenish face for 
     him. "Joxer, my champion!" she purred. Joxer's face got quite 
     stormy. Gabrielle was really surprised, she didn't think she'd 
     ever seen him get so mad before.
     
     "What are you here for, Aphrodite, bored and want to make a fool 
     of me again?" he snarled in a much less pretentious and nasal 
     voice than normal. Gabrielle was a bit surprised at it.
     
     "No, no, you have me all wrong!" the blonde goddess protested. 
     "The Terrible Twosome have gotten out a little early and they're 
     currently ripping up Hellespont about to rip up a village right 
     now. I thought I'd better warn you, that's all," she said as she 
     raised her hands in protest. Joxer scowled.
     
     Aphrodite darted over to him and kissed him on the cheek. "Good 
     luck big guy," she said. "You too, blondie," she said to 
     Gabrielle, and then vanished in a simple blast of warm golden 
     light.
     
     "Omigosh! We've gotta hurry!" Joxer burst out. 
     
     "Right," Gabrielle agreed. Joxer took off at a dead run.
     
     "Joxer! Joxer, wait-up!" 
     
     "You know what we need Gabrielle?"
     
     "Horses?"
     
     "No! A marching song! To pace ourselves with!"
     
     "No! NO! NOT THAT!" despite her pleas, soon the sounds of singing 
     rang through the Mycenean landscape:
     
     "Joxer the Mighty!
     Roams through the countryside 
     He never needs a place to hide 
     With Gabby as his sidekick 
     Fighting with her little stick 
     Righting wrongs and singing songs ...
     Being mighty all day long 
     He's Joxer--he's Joxer the Mighty!"
     
     "Incredible," thought Gabrielle to herself. "He's so full of wind 
     he can sing and run at the same time!" Still, that lyric about 
     her being his sidekick . . . well, it really made her want to 
     really *hurt* him for it . . . 
     

     MEANWHILE, IN THE PRESENCE CHAMBER ON MOUNT OLYMPUS...
     
     Aphrodite stood before the reflecting pool and looked down on the 
     countryside. The majority of the other Gods were, as promised, 
     retreated in the face of the upstarts. She smiled to herself. 
     Obviously, this was an opportunity that should not be allowed to 
     pass by, and if Athena and Artemis wanted to simper behind a 
     façade of detachment, well, she would not. "Idiots," she said 
     under her breath. "Cowards."
     
     Clotho, maiden of the Three Fates looked over at her, one eyebrow 
     raised disdainfully. Lachesis and Atropos ignored her altogether.
     
     Hades strode into the hall, his boots making ringing sounds on 
     the tile floor. Aphrodite adopted a coy smile and turned to greet 
     him.
     
     "Hey there, grim, dark and handsome!" she said with feigned 
     interest. "What now? I'm busy spying on Xena's little friends."
     
     Hades looked at her with his darkest, most solemn gaze. "It is 
     time. Hephaestus is ready," he said.
     
     "What? I'm busy, duuhhh." 
     
     Hades looked at the Three Fates, who now had all paused and were 
     looking at them. "You pledged me WHATEVER help I needed to get my 
     Champion prepared. I'm collecting on that promise right now. 
     Hephaestus has forged a tool for my warrior, and you are going to 
     help me grant her certain powers."
     
     "Powers of Love?" asked Aphrodite, perplexed.
     
     "No. Of Time."
     
     "WHAT!" shrieked Aphrodite. "No mortal can be given the power of 
     time travel! No way!"
     
     "Way," said Hades, almost grinning. "This one can." He looked at 
     the fates, and Aphrodite followed his gaze. 
     
     Clotho, Lachesis, and Atropos solemnly nodded in agreement.
     
     "No," she breathed. "No!" she repeated more loudly. "What's next? 
     Destiny control powers??"
     
     Hades smiled a cruel and wicked smile. "Please don't overreact 
     Aphrodite. The temporal powers you can grant her will be the 
     organizing principle the dark powers I will awaken within her."
     
     "You are out of your mind!" she yelled. 
     
     "I *thought* you could do it," he said eagerly. "You let a little 
     too much slip earlier. And they," he pointed at the Fates, 
     "witnessed your agreement. Now, there is no time to waste. We 
     must empower my champion immediately." He reached out and grabbed 
     her wrist and teleported them to Hephaestus' chambers.
     
     Smiling, the Three Fates returned to their work. Velasca and 
     Callisto had been very busy. Many threads had reached their ends 
     within the last hour.
     
     
     IN TARTARUS . . .
     
     Xena had been climbing down the sheer face of a cliff for what 
     seemed several hours. At this point, the rock face seemed to 
     stretch upward and downward infinitely. Even she was daunted at 
     the sight, and closed her eyes and tightened her grip against the 
     chasm wall to rest for a moment. "Gabrielle," she whispered, 
     thinking of her closest friend. She prayed to the fates that the 
     gentle girl was all right.
     
     
     BACK AT HELLESPONT, NEAR THE TEMPLE OF ARTEMIS . . . 
     
     Joxer's speed had carried him a fair pace ahead of the shorter 
     Gabrielle. "I'll warn the temple-goers, you see to the town!" he 
     called over his shoulder before putting on a burst of speed and 
     pulling ahead. 
     
     Just as she thought it couldn't get any worse, he started singing 
     again.
     
     "Oohhhhhh--
     He's Joxer the Mighty 
     He's really tidy 
     Everybody likes him
     'Cause he has a funny grin 
     Joxer  . . .  Joxer the Mighty! 
     Joxer  . . .  Joxer the Mighty! 
     
     He's very tidy 
     Everyone admires him 
     He's so handsome it's a sin 
     When you're in jeopardy 
     Don't call the cavalry 
     There's a better remedy
     (Although he doesn't work for free) 
     
     He's every man's trusty, 
     He's every woman's fantasy, 
     Plus he's goo-oood company 
     He's Joxer--I'm Joxer the Mighty! 
     Blood--valour--and victory! 
     Ha-HA!"
     
     As Joxer moved out of sight, Gabrielle stumbled to a halt and 
     leaned over to catch her breath. After a little rest, she 
     continued on to the temple.
     
     Inside, Joxer had arrived and accosted the first acolyte he saw. 
     Or rather, tried to. As priestesses of Artemis, all the acolytes 
     were well-trained in the arts of self-defense, and, naturally, 
     just as he came in the door, he tripped over his own feet and 
     practically rolled into the temple. He found himself lying flat 
     on the floor with spears pointed at him.
     
     "Ummm . . . ladies, can't we discuss this like friends?" he 
     protested.
     
     Hanging in the air over the offering altar was a wicker cage and 
     within it was the sacred cat of Artemis. Oddly enough, Artemis' 
     sacred cat was male. There had been some talk about the 
     inappropriateness of that, and that it could easily be corrected, 
     but when the cat himself had protested those corrections . . . 
     well, the priestesses were content to keep him as he was.
     
     For the most part, he slept a lot. And listened to the 
     petitioners who came and prayed at the altar. Sometimes he gave 
     out advice. (He had mastered Greek easily in the years he'd been 
     kept here.) But not always. And the advice was . . . well, not 
     exactly oracular. It was the kind of advice that your big brother 
     would give you. Still, it got the temple a certain amount of 
     notoriety, which meant bigger offerings from the hopeful, and a 
     cushier life for the priestesses.
     
     He was laughing to himself at the clod near the front door's 
     antics when he heard something disturbing in the man's rantings. 
     
     Just as the priestesses were about to throw him out of the temple 
     at spearpoint, Artemis jumped to his feet and yelled, "Stop!"
     
     The acolytes paused and looked at their sacred cat.
     
     "Repeat what you said about a goddess coming her to destroy the 
     temple!" yelled Artemis.
     
     Joxer blinked and looked around for the source of the voice. An 
     angry young acolyte who reminded him a lot of Velasca snarled, 
     "Dolt! It is the Sacred Cat Artemissu! He who is named for our 
     goddess!"
     
     Joxer gulped in the face of her anger and put on a weak smile. 
     "Right, right, so it's like this, see, the Amazon Velasca became 
     a goddess by eating ambrosia, right? And she started out by 
     blowing up one of Artemis's temples and now she's on her way here 
     with Callisto!"
     
     "Yes, we heard of the destruction of our sister temple near the 
     Amazon nation. Now we know the reason for it!" said one of the 
     priestesses.
     
     Another priestess spoke up, "You spoke of the huntress Callisto? 
     Sisters, she is a murderess! We should capture her and see her 
     punished for her crimes!"
     
     Joxer shook his head. "No, see, she got some of Velasca's 
     ambrosia and she's a goddess too."
     
     Several of the armed acolytes' jaws dropped at this revelation. 
     The most senior priestess's eyes widened. "Everyone split up and 
     run into the forest. Find a place to hide and pray to Artemis for 
     deliverance from this menace!"
     
     There was a rumbling in the background and a sound of crackling 
     thunder. 
     
     Velasca had emerged from the wreckage of Hellespont and was 
     slowly walking toward the temple, a cloud of lighting surrounding 
     her, bolts of power blasting every tree from her path as she 
     strolled, laughing, all the way toward Artemis' temple.
     
     In the bushes atop a small ridge in the forest, Gabrielle saw her 
     and tossed herself back from the site. She hoped Velasca hadn't 
     seen or sensed her.
     
     When she was still a half-mile from the temple, Velasca created a 
     ball of lightning and threw it at the building. The main doors 
     were blasted open and several people standing just inside it were 
     sent flying from the force of the explosion. The guards and 
     priestesses scattered at the first explosion.
     
     Artemis's cage was severed from its rope and went flying through 
     the air, only to be caught by Joxer. "Thanks!" said the cat.
     
     "No problem my good fellow. Anything else I can do to assist 
     you?" asked Joxer in his most pretentious manner.
     
     "Yeah! Open the cage door so I can run away--get to safety, I 
     mean!"
     
     "Ah, I gotcha!" said Joxer, who fell for the cat's line. He 
     shrugged and flipped open the cage. 
     
     "Makenai!" screamed Artemis who bolted through the small opening 
     with a vigor derived from his magical constitution and years of 
     extreme boredom. 
     
     Joxer's head was used as a springboard for one very cooped-up cat 
     as Artemis bounded over him, onto the floor and toward a side 
     window at a dead run.
     
     "Hey! Where ya going? Wait for me!" yelped Joxer as he darted 
     after the runaway cat.
     
     Velasca was most displeased when she arrived at the temple and 
     found that most everyone had already fled it. She went into the 
     central chamber and started ripping it apart, inch by inch in her 
     frustration and rage, yelling imprecations at the goddess Artemis 
     all the time.
     
     Gabrielle arrived outside, several hundred feet away from the 
     front door. She helped direct the stream of refugees, and turned 
     away several people coming with offerings. "Joxer, where the 
     Crete are you?" she muttered under her breath.
     
     "Gabrielle?" asked Velasca, suddenly pleased. She turned around 
     and started to home in the voice carried to her by her godly 
     senses.
     
     "Ah," she breathed as she stepped outside the front door and saw 
     the glint of sunlight on blond hair. She hurled a thunderbolt. 
     
     "Get down!" yelled Artemis, tackling the cute blond doing 
     evacuation work, just before she was fried by a thunderbolt.
     
     She landed on her stomach in the dirt, the white cat on her back 
     between her shoulder blades. She spit out dirt and turned around, 
     knocking him from his perch. "Omigods! You're a cat but you can 
     talk!" she exclaimed.
     
     Artemis' eyes grew wide as he took in the sight of her. "Mmi . . 
     . Minako?" he asked hesitantly.
     
     "What?" replied Gabrielle.
     
     "Minako, you grew up!" said the amazed cat. 
     
     "What's 'minako' mean?" asked Gabrielle.
     
     "Not what, who," replied Artemis. "You, aren't you Minako? Don't 
     you recognize me? How can you have forgotten me!" he wailed.
     
     Gabrielle rolled to her feet, scooping the tomcat into her arms 
     as another of Velasca's bolts struck the ground she'd laid in a 
     moment ago.
     
     "Ah, son of a baccae!!" she said. "Velasca or Callisto must know 
     I'm here . . . wait, that means I can draw them away from the 
     temple and the village!" she suddenly perked up. She dropped the 
     cat to the ground and grabbed her fighting stick and began to 
     turn to run for it, and hopefully lead the danger away from the 
     dozen or so innocents still in the vicinity. The white cat raced 
     practically under her feet and got in front of her.
     
     "Minako, REMEMBER!!" said the cat, and then a golden beam 
     emanated from the crescent mark on his forehead. 
     
     Three priestesses saw this wonder and fell to their knees, in awe 
     at the holy power kept hidden by the cat all these years. Truly, 
     Artemis had sent him to be their salvation in this hour of need.
     
     The kicker was, they were sort of right.
     
     Gabrielle made a strangled cry as Artemis's mindprobe entered her 
     and sought out injured parts of her brain, filling them with warm 
     golden light.
     
     It hurt, for a moment, and then she felt a warmth spreading 
     through her as the Minako part of her personality began to flow 
     back into her mind.
     
     A Minako who had grown up, seen the world start to slide toward 
     the brink of ruin until Neo-Queen Serenity had proclaimed herself 
     and begun the founding of Crystal Tokyo. A little older, little 
     wiser woman than twenty-something Gabrielle of Potedaia. She sank 
     to her knees as the memory flood washed over her.
     
     End of Chapter Three
     
     (Author's note: Please be aware that the song in this chapter is 
from the Xena TV show and not my creation, just as Xena and her
regulars are from the minds of the creative folks at MCA/Universal
and Sailor Moon and her associates are from Naoko Takeuchi, Kodansha,
and Toei Animation.)

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